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The interview I heard (I think it was that long radio one, not sure)--but I know I heard him say that he "hit it off" with several women but only fell in love with one. That doesn't mean though, that he didn't love the other two as friends, or just as people....Originally Posted by MissThing;2388710;
In my mind, there's no question that he loves all three of these women, as friends.
Papi on being tested for steroids: "All they are going to find is a lot of rice and beans."
I cater to the Regs!
Oh, well yes! I should have said that two of the women he loves only as friends. That's what I meant to say... Of course the woman he is in love with is also the woman he wants as his best friend for life!
In my experience, it's quite possible to love two people at once -- not as friends.
The Bachelor is a situation tailor-made for people to find this out, especially because the situation is so short that you don't have time to figure out which, if either, is a love that would stand the test of time.
Truly, I'm baffled by people thinking that you can't be in love with two people at once. You can certainly be in love with two people -- four people, ten people -- serially, so it only makes sense that you can be in love with two at the same time, if you meet them both at the same time and have absolutely comparable experiences with them (as happens on the show) and they are both part of the fairly large group of people with whom you could have the in-love feeling if you met them at different times.
I disagree Natasha. To be "in love" (as in romantic love) with more than one of them, would totally discredit the "love story". Cinderella wouldn't put up with the prince being just as "in love" with X girl as she was with him. There's just no love story in that (as they've been coining this season to be). I think he's just trying to be open (at the time in the taping) for feeling to develop with any of them.
When someone loves one person, and then later loves someone else. They are a totally different person at that time (as shaped by their experiences/lives).
I think (and this is totally my opinion, and only hearing something different straight from Andy's mouth will change it) that Andy loves (as in friends - good relationship) the other two. But falls "IN love" with the one he proposes to. I love some of my friends, and we're very close as in sisters or brother/sister. But I am only IN LOVE with my husband, which is why I've chosen to spend my life with him.
I totally agree with you. I couldn't have said it better myself. Especially your last point. I also think that Andy is good at getting into himself in introspection and figuring out who his love as a friend feeling is for, his I feel lust feeling is for, vs his I am in love in everyway possible feeling is for. I don't know Andy or any of the girls so I don't know why I am in this thread, I just really liked your thoughts and way of expressing them.
I completely agree that it wouldn't work for the myth they're constructing for the audience! No fairy tale would work this way -- absolutely agree.
However, I also know for certain that, in real life, it really can happen, and I wouldn't be surprised if it happened to Andy in the course of filiming the show, and that maybe he's let that fact slip with a slip of the tongue to the guys. ...
OF course, once he's chosen one over the other as being the better choice, then his love there will likely build while the other will fade. But is it possible to fall in love with two people at once, especially in a weird circumstance like he's in, being sort of forced to categorize the people separately in his mind and fast-forward everything? I still say, absolutely.
Just because most people have bought into the romantic Cinderella myth doesn't mean that other things aren't perfectly possible, in fact. I've been in love with two people at once, and I'm not the only person I know of who has. No, it wouldn't fit the pretty satisfying story they're telling here, but a lot of the things that happen to us in real life don't fit into the tv-series plotline, either!
I do agree, Natasha. Yes, it's possible to fall in love/be in love with more than one person at a time. You can fall in love with different people for different reasons. You can also fall in love with a person who is, ultimately, unsuitable for you. How many of us have done that? At least a few, I'd imagine!
Outside of "bachelor land" this is a question that some of us ponder, at least those of us that worry about this sort of thing. As a religous missionary on the last day in the mission field, our mission president had us at the headquarters for the infamous "marriage talk" but decided with our group to do a Q and A session instead. The question came up from one of the elders, "Is there just "One" out there for us or could there be many that God would be pleased with us dating." After much contemplation, the president replied that he wasn't sure, and that there wasn't any doctrine out there that covered this. What he did say was once you've decided to get married, that that person is "the one" and you better make sure you feel that before marrying that person, because Eternity was at stake. I really liked that answer because once you've made your choice even if there are multiple options, you had better get stronger with that person and have feelings for others fade, if not maybe you better not get married. I like this discussion and could definitely see and maybe on a lot of levels agree with your posts. In this case, though, I think that the "love" that he feels for the others other than the f1 is of friendship and respect and not romantic. Just my opinion.
When it comes to the Bachelor/ette, I sometimes wonder whether the fact that -- to me, anyway -- the show is positively set up to *encourage* this to happen doesn't in itself sort of doom the relationships that come out of it. They push people to be as much in love as possible with at least two people at once -- Well, after that experience, I think a lot of people may feel quite a bit more restless and unsatisfied with the one they ultimately pick, even if it is the one they feel more strongly about.
Bevorules wrote:
In this case, though, I think that the "love" that he feels for the others other than the f1 is of friendship and respect and not romantic. Just my opinion
And I definitely hope that you're right in this case, for the sake of everybody involved, especially the poor woman who gets kicked off number two, whoever it is, since if he were in love with her, she'd probably know it and be particularly devastated.... The fact that somebody who claims to know him says that he said "in love" with both worries me, though, I must say!
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