2/20 Bachelor 16: Hometowns **West Coast Spoilers**

[Midol]

I guess the challenge of my off-the-wall behind-the-scenes idea is that it could change things beyond the one-season experiment. (yikes... 5 hyphens in one sentence... sorry)

The following season, everyone would play to the camera assuming the bachelor/b'ette was watching, so we wouldn't get the fun little cat fights and such. Could be pretty bland.

So I guess MF is just way smarter than I am.

I don't think they necessarily need to do it every season. There are different ways of changing things up. I really liked the idea that one of the bettes was a mole for the bachelor that they had...I think it was Jessie's season. They could do the same thing again. Also, during Jillian's season they had some of the bachelors sharing her mansion for a few days at a time...I don't recall how they decided. Byron had a small house on the grounds of where the Bettes lived so he could pop in at any time or they could also drop by if they wanted. Where there is a will, there is a way...I'm just not sure that Fliess has the will or wants the lead to know what it going on since then he couldn't screw with their head the way we all know he likes to do.

[RoxyKnox]

posted by Sweetpea:

Well, I agree there probably isn't anything he could have said to really make it 'better' but that doesn't mean he shouldn't offer up something, IMO. He just seems so cold sometimes, I often wonder if that is his defense mechanism for when he feels uncomfortable. To distance himself emotionally and (apparently) verbally. The more I think about it, the more I believe Ben's personality isn't cut out to be the lead of this show. He just comes across as so strange sometimes, so awkward and distant and unfeeling. IDK, I realize we only see parts of him and highly edited at that, but I really see more of a boy than a man.

Excellent! one of the best, most insightful posts about this Bachelor season. He seems to have no small talk, nothing much to say to anyone.

[Rattus]

II was disturbed by the way he reacted to Ashley's rejection. He was not upset that she said no and wanting her (someone he supposedly loved) to be happy, but was really angry. I'm convinced it's because she humiliated him.

If I loved or was falling in love with someone and they rejected me in favour of someone else, my reaction wouldn't be "well, as long as you're happy". I don't know what it would be, but it wouldn't be that. And yes, I would be humiliated that it happened in front of millions of viewers.

I don't know Ben and can't give an honest assessment of his character, but I know and have known many men who feel things deeply but are just not capable of verbalising their emotions. And that includes Mr. Rattus, my husband of twenty-five years, who took twenty years to tell me that he preferred long hair on women, and another five to clarify...well, never mind that right now. Still a good guy, though, and I wouldn't trade him for all the soap star manque's in the world.

[ButterflyFaery]

well from what I read the WTA films today boy would I love to be there and see if the skinny dipping comes up

[Longhornfan]

well from what I read the WTA films today boy would I love to be there and see if the skinny dipping comes up

This is the show that I am most interested in seeing too. I, however, fully expect to be disappointed as usual. I think that the skinny dipping episode will be discussed. How can they possibly ignore it?

I remember that one year some pictures leaked out of the WTA, and we found out who (in the F3) had been eliminated before the episode even aired. I think that that was Jillian in Jason's season ?? Anyway, maybe we will get to see some pictures of this year's WTA before it actually airs.

[mesachick]

posted by Sweetpea:

Well, I agree there probably isn't anything he could have said to really make it 'better' but that doesn't mean he shouldn't offer up something, IMO. He just seems so cold sometimes, I often wonder if that is his defense mechanism for when he feels uncomfortable. To distance himself emotionally and (apparently) verbally. The more I think about it, the more I believe Ben's personality isn't cut out to be the lead of this show. He just comes across as so strange sometimes, so awkward and distant and unfeeling. IDK, I realize we only see parts of him and highly edited at that, but I really see more of a boy than a man.

Excellent! one of the best, most insightful posts about this Bachelor season. He seems to have no small talk, nothing much to say to anyone.

I agree as well. I guess you have to wonder, why would the Ben they are showing, would be the one they edited him to be. He is bland and boring and aloof. Not very good for the show's lead. I would think that if Ben was showing some warmth to him, we would be seeing it. But we aren't.

[Fanny Mare]

I know and have known many men who feel things deeply but are just not capable of verbalising their emotions. And that includes Mr. Rattus, my husband of twenty-five years, who took twenty years to tell me that he preferred long hair on women, and another five to clarify...well, never mind that right now. Still a good guy, though, and I wouldn't trade him for all the soap star manque's in the world.

Mr Mare is a little like this, only because he thinks he will hurt me. He has never hurt me, not in 24 years

[Midol]

If I loved or was falling in love with someone and they rejected me in favour of someone else, my reaction wouldn't be "well, as long as you're happy". I don't know what it would be, but it wouldn't be that. And yes, I would be humiliated that it happened in front of millions of viewers.

I don't know Ben and can't give an honest assessment of his character, but I know and have known many men who feel things deeply but are just not capable of verbalising their emotions. And that includes Mr. Rattus, my husband of twenty-five years, who took twenty years to tell me that he preferred long hair on women, and another five to clarify...well, never mind that right now. Still a good guy, though, and I wouldn't trade him for all the soap star manque's in the world.

I agree...I also know men who feel deeply and have a hard time verbalizing, however, this is not a normal situation. I also don't know Ben, but I highly doubt that in the short time he spent with Ashley, Emily, Casey, etc. he developed such a depth of feeling that is between you and your husband. Other than the fantasy suite with Ashley, he never even spent any time alone with any of these women. They are constantly surrounded by producers, sound men, cameras...and I know they say that they don't even notice them any more...but still, any logical person would reason that this is not reality, particularly when this is your second go around and know what to expect and how manipulated/edited it can become.

While I don't expect Ben to go Rah, Rah, you picked someone else, I don't expect him to be so cold and frankly rude about it either. I don't think anyone else ever has been. I also, don't expect him to be so dismissive of others. I guess I expect a little warmth and interest when the women are talking to him about important events/people in their lives. The only time he has perked up at all is when Courtney offered to go skinny dipping with him or when she took off her top at that village and he had the nerve to suggest that he wished the others did too.

I guess what I am saying is that he seems to lack maturity, depth, empathy, and even interest in other people...unless they are getting naked. He should have realised with Ashely that he might not be the one...Others since the show have said it was clear her preference was with JP...so why he should be so surprised that he was rejected is beyond me. We can go on about producer manipulation all we want, being humiliated in front of millions of people who watch the show, etc., and if that had been the only time he acted that way I would give him the benefit of the doubt, but he has displayed similar behaviour multiple time this season as well, so I think this is just him. Hopefully, he will improve with age!

By the way ... You're a very lucky woman to have such a man and may you have many more years together. I should be so lucky.

[tinderbox]

...The more I think about it, the more I believe Ben's personality isn't cut out to be the lead of this show. He just comes across as so strange sometimes, so awkward and distant and unfeeling...

I agree and that is why he's attracted to the type of person Courtney seems to be. Besides her beauty, I believe he's sincerely interested in her quirkiness because he's quirky/a bit odd, as well.

As far as I'm concerned, if he chooses her, their relationship just could work. (Bleh. They can have each other.)

[jucamer]

I guess the challenge of my off-the-wall behind-the-scenes idea is that it could change things beyond the one-season experiment. (yikes... 5 hyphens in one sentence... sorry)

The following season, everyone would play to the camera assuming the bachelor/b'ette was watching, so we wouldn't get the fun little cat fights and such. Could be pretty bland.

So I guess MF is just way smarter than I am.

I was thinking that too. Everyone would be so fake and phony not knowing whether the camera was on them. The show would fall apart