2/20 Bachelor 16: Hometowns **West Coast Spoilers**

[Fanny Mare]

I have noticed that oftentimes on this series, the women who are rejected question what is wrong with them, and the men who are rejected question what is wrong with the women. We need to get over that!

I agree100%.I hate it when they say, what did I do wrong. I have heard that over and over, no matter whose season it is.

[ilja]

I just remember Ben's exit from the Bachelorette - he basically shut Ashley down and said he didn't want to hear anything, that nothing she could say after rejecting him really mattered. Maybe I am giving him way too much credit here, but I wonder if that may be playing into the way he is treating some of the women. Problem is, women look at things differently - they want the explanation and they want to know, even though it won't help. So while he may be thinking about how HE would want it to be handled if HE were dismissed, he is completely missing how THEY would want to be treated.

I could be remembering wrong but I can almost swear that I heard Ben say in either an interview or a deleted scene that breaking up with these ladies is quite difficult since he has to do it face to face instead of in a text or email. I was shocked (not really) when I heard it so please don't take this as gospel without checking it out for yourself.

ITA that Ben is probably treating the women who are leaving the way he would want to be treated, which I guess we all do that to some extent. I also think he's pretty uneasy around real emotion. And obviously Kacie was only one of 4 for him, and he was her only interest, so things are a little off balance to begin with.

Personally I think I'd rather not hear an explanation of what he thought was wrong with me in that situation; first because it doesn't really matter, and second because his perception was based on a very limited experience with me, and really not worth much. Plus it would probably all be nonsense as I doubt he would want to share what's really going on in his head -- nor should he, necessarily.

I have noticed that oftentimes on this series, the women who are rejected question what is wrong with them, and the men who are rejected question what is wrong with the women. We need to get over that!

It really is sad that so many women blame themselves.

Honestly, the real reason the women are rejected is because the bachelor likes the ladies who are left better, same as when the bachelorette rejects the men. I personally would not want to hear a list of all of my unattractive qualities. Of course, in the beginning, it's usually just because there was nothing there (no chemistry) for the one doing the rejecting.

I should have added a disclaimer to my post. I should have said for the most part. I do really believe that Ben let Kacie go at this point because he was afraid of her father and was feeling a little guilty by leading her on when he knew he was not going to pick her in the end. I do give him credit for that last part.

[AlwaysVeg]

He wouldn't have to say what's WRONG with them. With Kacie, he just could have said that he felt their family backgrounds were too different, and that perhaps their values and lifestyles wouldn't really mesh in the long run, or something like that. Saying absolutely nothing but goodbye at this point in the game is really unkind, in my opinion.

[Fanny Mare]

I should have added a disclaimer to my post. I should have said for the most part. I do really believe that Ben let Kacie go at this point because he was afraid of her father and was feeling a little guilty by leading her on when he knew he was not going to pick her in the end. I do give him credit for that last part.

I think he was doing what her father said to do. I give him credit as well

[ilja]

He wouldn't have to say what's WRONG with them. With Kacie, he just could have said that he felt their family backgrounds were too different, and that perhaps their values and lifestyles wouldn't really mesh in the long run, or something like that. Saying absolutely nothing but goodbye at this point in the game is really unkind, in my opinion.

That might have been kinder but Ben does seem to have a communication problem, IMHO anyhow.

[echo226]

typical southern dad...lol this is nothing new to those of us that live in the south....well after seeing her hometown date so far IMO Fleiss done gave away who's going home Kacie you deserve so much better than this alfafa looking skank loving POS you can do so much better

Ben & gentility don't mix. I love Kacie B ... but I think she deserves a whole lot better and her Daddy knows it.
As for Ben, didn't he think about and plan what subjects he might speak with the various parents about?


I would think that the subject of him making wine and her Dad not drinking might be a topic that would have come up before between Ben and Kacie.


By the way in my opinion, Kacie's Mom is really pretty.

[echo226]

I really don't know what to make of this. She is either a really good actress or she really does believe she's in love with him. Ben is obviously smitten.

I hope she's just a good actress, and he does propose and she says "Of course not, Doofus ... I'm a model ! "

[jucamer]

He wouldn't have to say what's WRONG with them. With Kacie, he just could have said that he felt their family backgrounds were too different, and that perhaps their values and lifestyles wouldn't really mesh in the long run, or something like that. Saying absolutely nothing but goodbye at this point in the game is really unkind, in my opinion.

Very unkind - dumb twit

[Pandora2]

But if the truth is, "I'm hot for Courtney and I'm just playing this out to get in her pants" I certainly wouldn't want to hear that; I would feel like a fool. And if it's some nonsense just to make me feel better, I wouldn't to hear that either.

I respect the person who says they think they're a better match with someone else -- but only if that's the truth. That would still hurt, but ultimately you have to respect someone for that as it is something we all do when evaluating a potential partner.

So yeah, if it were about my parents, I'd be open to hearing that. I just don't think that's the real reason; I think Ben dumped Kacie because his hormones were calling Courtney's name.

My goodness I sound cynical. ;-)

[Fanny Mare]

But if the truth is, "I'm hot for Courtney and I'm just playing this out to get in her pants" I certainly wouldn't want to hear that; I would feel like a fool. And if it's some nonsense just to make me feel better, I wouldn't to hear that either.

I respect the person who says they think they're a better match with someone else -- but only if that's the truth. That would still hurt, but ultimately you have to respect someone for that as it is something we all do when evaluating a potential partner.

So yeah, if it were about my parents, I'd be open to hearing that. I just don't think that's the real reason; I think Ben dumped Kacie because his hormones were calling Courtney's name.

My goodness I sound cynical. ;-)

Its the show, it tends to make one very cynical