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It always surprises me on this show that there girls seem oblivious to the fact that there is a point where being drunk and emotional isn't cute anymore and so few seem to opt out to water early on in the evening. As a woman I wouldn't want the first impression a guy got of me as a drunken mess. And as a woman if I had a room full of drunken men and that's how they were much of time I likely wouldn't be into any of them at all.
Back when I used to go clubbing, it appeared to me that it was the females that came across as rip-roaring drunk much more often than the males. I never wanted to dance with a drunk. That's not to say I never drank too much but at least it was limited.Originally Posted by causingchaos
Bachelor: Ben Flajnik Blogs About Craziest Rose Ceremony in Show History : People.com
Ben Flajnik 'Unprepared' for Bachelor 'S–– Storm'
By Ben Flajnik
Tuesday January 17, 2012 08:00 AM EST
Ben Flajnik 'Unprepared' for Bachelor 'S–– Storm'
I think Mötley Crüe said it best: "Home Sweet Home." San Francisco is the one place on the globe where I am truly happy and feel completely myself. I was so excited to show these women this amazing city and get to know everyone so much better.
The dates this week on The Bachelor were really awesome, as well, and I couldn't wait to go on them.
Let's start with hands down the craziest thing I have ever done in my life – climbing to the top of the Bay Bridge.
Emily and I both had (and probably still have) a fear of heights so it was nice to have someone that understood exactly what I was feeling, and vice versa. Emily got pretty freaked out on the bridge, but I will admit, I was right there with her. The horns from the trucks below were enough to make you lose your mind. The worst part was thinking that if you passed out on the railing, you would wake up hanging from two ropes off the side of the Bay Bridge. Nuts.
Later in the evening, Emily and I had a great dinner, full of lively conversation, and some amazing fireworks. Emily was very easy to talk to, and I can honestly say I enjoyed every moment of the date with her. I found her to be witty, smart, beautiful and everything that I was looking for in a woman.
On to this week's group date: Aside from my flat-ironed hair, everything was going great. I mean, come on, who has ever gone skiing in San Francisco? Kacie B. was the woman who stuck out most to me on the skiing portion of the date. She just bombed the hill as many times as she possibly could, which was awesome. I love someone that is up for a challenge and loves to have fun.
Later that evening, Brittany's departure came as a total shock to me. I respected that fact that her heart wasn't in it and that she didn't want to take away from the other women and their time with me. I wonder what Grandma Sheryl had to say when Brittany got home.
My date with Lindzi was something I had been looking forward to since the first cocktail party. I gave her the first impression rose for a reason and in doing so, I told her it was going to be awhile before our first date. I didn't want to put a target on her back early on so I waited until late in San Francisco to take her out.
The shining moment with Lindzi was in the piano store. I felt like I had known her for a long time, and in that moment I knew there was something special between us.
So I have heard from everyone that makes this show happen that this was truly the craziest cocktail party and rose ceremony in Bachelor history. Having only seen one other season (Brad Womack's), I would have to agree. Wow. Nothing in my life would have ever prepared me for the s––– storm that happened that night.
After watching, I didn't realize that the women were so mean to Shawntel and I was a bit taken aback. I mean I knew it was a bold move on Shawntel's part, but some of the women took it a bit too far.
Shawntel and I had chatted a few times in between seasons and I thought she was an interesting, beautiful woman and she was right to assume that there was a connection. There was, but the timing was wrong. So, you can imagine how surprised I was when she showed up to the cocktail party unannounced.
I knew if I kept Shawntel around I would lose all the credibility I had built with these women and it wouldn't be easy to dig myself out of that hole.
Let's put it this way – if Shawntel had started the journey with the rest of the women it might have been different. But I was already so happy with the group of women that I had that I wasn't about to jeopardize the rest of my experience in trying to find love. I do want to thank Shawntel though for coming. She gave up a lot to try this and I really respect her for it.
Well, that's it for San Francisco. What a ride!
I'm finding it much harder this season to sort out the truth. Not only do we have the above instance, but also the degree to which Ben knew of in-house drama. In an interview last week with EW, Ben said that he was kept informed by the girls about the issues. On Kimmel, he intimated that he had no idea. The show needs to get the stories straight.
And, another thing, why does the show allow some leads to admit that they've chosen an F1, like Brad Redux, but others have to feign mystery? Is there some common thread among the ones that aren't allowed to say if they've chosen someone? It's so weird.
It can take a while to find out what someone is really like. They're likely editing out what faults Ben might have: they want to present an idealized image of the bachelor. I found out what Jake was really like on the breakup show. I wonder if Ben is very different than he appears to be.
Ben wrote: "...she was right to assume that there was a connection. There was, but the timing was wrong. So, you can imagine how surprised I was when she showed up to the cocktail party unannounced. I knew if I kept Shawntel around I would lose all the credibility I had built with these women and it wouldn't be easy to dig myself out of that hole."
Sounds like a typical polite "guy" line to me. Obviously there was NOT a true connection or he wouldn't have been worried what other girls would think.
I get weary of the "I like you but..." lines. The truth is, they actually aren't into you, and are making an excuse instead of just saying that.
The Bachelor: Ben Flajnik Explains Elimination : People.com
Ben Flajnik: Why I Kept Rachel But Not Samantha on The Bachelor
Hello Park City, Utah! After a crazy week in beautiful San Francisco it was nice to get back to the great outdoors for some fishing, horseback riding and helicopters! I've heard from friends of mine that we needed to get back to The Bachelor days of old, which includes lots of helicopter dates. So, to my friends ... mission accomplished! Now lets discuss the incredible women I am lucky enough to be on this journey with.
I really wanted my date with Rachel to go well. The first night I met her in L.A., we clicked. Seeing her step out of the limo in her red dress I thought to myself, "Wow, this girl is gorgeous," but after chatting with her inside I realized she was more than just a pretty woman. Rachel always stands out on the group dates (I asked her to accept the group date rose last week!), so I was really hoping we would have amazing chemistry on this date as well. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. While it fortunately didn't feel as awkward in the moment, it definitely looked awkward. Even given the majestic surroundings of Park City, and one of the most beautiful lakes I have ever seen, we couldn't help some of the silent moments we encountered together on our first one-on-one date. Sometimes first dates don't go as smoothly as you would hope.
We did talk about her family a lot that day though, and I felt like I had a good sense of who she was as a person. Rachel is a sweet woman with the best of intentions and I reminded myself that sometimes it takes more than a "moment" to get to know someone, so I was happy Rachel accepted the rose so we can give our relationship more time.
The group date was hands down my favorite group date of the entire season. My Dad and Grandpa were both huge fisherman and I really channeled a lot of my childhood in that day. It was great to share that with some of the women, and I think it brought us closer. I felt like they got to see a different side of me, and I loved seeing all these gorgeous women so excited to put on waders and fly fish!
One thing I was completely oblivious to was Courtney causing such a stir with the other women. I thought that she was just making the most of her moments with me. It's really hard to not let your mind get caught up in "Do I really know that this person is being sincere?" so I tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I tried not to go into this experience with the fear that I was getting played, but I will say that if I let myself go there, it's a common fear in any relationship. Am I seeing the real side to this person? I will say that I appreciated the women who took a risk to come out of their shell and spend more time with me on group dates and not sit back and let other women take charge. I felt like I furthered a number of relationships that day.
Later in the evening, my decision to send Samantha home was something I had thought about earlier that day. It had been brought to my attention by some of the other women that she wasn't there for the right reasons and it really came through in our talk that night. It's enough to deal with the fears of falling for someone that won't love you back, but to put energy into a new relationship when neither person sees it going anywhere is never worth it. I wasn't willing to lose valuable time with the other women that I do have strong feelings for.
My date with Jennifer was another date I was really looking forward to for a while. After all, she did get my vote for "best kisser" and I was hoping she would love the date I had planned for her. I had no idea she was scared of heights and she tried her best not to show too much fear. But when we were in the crater and suspended above the water, I could feel how tightly Jennifer was holding on. I realized then that she is the type of woman that trusts her partner and that she will take risks and push herself in a relationship in order to build trust and love. It was a really cool moment that we shared and what I thought would be a great place to have another kiss. Unfortunately the water was so deep that I could barely kiss her and stay afloat! Jennifer had mentioned in a previous conversation that she loved country music, so I saved the Clay Walker concert just for her. He put on an amazing show and it was one of the great moments in my experience as the Bachelor. We really had a blast that night and it was a date that I will never forget.
The cocktail party was a big turning point for me. My feelings for the women really started to escalate in Utah and I was excited to see where my relationships would go from here. While I was feeling all these positive thoughts, little did I know there was a big blowout between Emily and Courtney happening, which again makes me wonder what was I not really seeing in some of the women. It's really hard to navigate this process, especially when I don't see what is going on between the ladies when I'm not in the room. But even though there was drama amongst the women, I decided to rely on my own intuitions and make up my mind for myself. Whether or not this was the right decision, I don't know, it still remains to be seen.
That's all for Utah, I can't wait to show you our next stop!
So, he listened to the "women" about Samantha, but not Emily about Courtney. Fishy, fishy caught by the fly...Later in the evening, my decision to send Samantha home was something I had thought about earlier that day. It had been brought to my attention by some of the other women that she wasn't there for the right reasons and it really came through in our talk that night. It's enough to deal with the fears of falling for someone that won't love you back, but to put energy into a new relationship when neither person sees it going anywhere is never worth it. I wasn't willing to lose valuable time with the other women that I do have strong feelings for.
This almost a mea culpa, but not quite. At least he is letting us see his process and thoughts now that he is viewing the edited show.The cocktail party was a big turning point for me. My feelings for the women really started to escalate in Utah and I was excited to see where my relationships would go from here. While I was feeling all these positive thoughts, little did I know there was a big blowout between Emily and Courtney happening, which again makes me wonder what was I not really seeing in some of the women. It's really hard to navigate this process, especially when I don't see what is going on between the ladies when I'm not in the room. But even though there was drama amongst the women, I decided to rely on my own intuitions and make up my mind for myself. Whether or not this was the right decision, I don't know, it still remains to be seen.
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