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Thread: Jake Pavelka BP2

  1. #51
    Live-Love-Laugh Fanny Mare's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    Well some have said he has physically abused her, I never saw that.When they were on after the final rose.I suspected then he emotionally abused her . I dont think she is very bright, she's over emotional, and she doesnt know how to say what she feels As you say each to their own, I will label him. I have seen his type so many times, and it really showed when they sat together with CH. He withheld any form of cuddling and closeness( this is usually seen as a punishment) he withheld sex, he didnt deny any of that.But when they were on display, he was all over her like a cheap suit.He is a nothing.

  2. #52
    FORT Fogey KatesMom's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    I honestly don't know one way or the other. I have withheld sex from my husband when he is being an a** - does that make me an abuser? We don't know all the facts. What we do know is that Vienna is a drama queen. I go back to last week and her listing off the abusive things he did to her and one of only two things she listed (or that the producers chose to show us) was him not eating food that she cooked. Huh? So was he really abusive or did he not act exactly the way she wanted him to act and she has pulled out the abuse card to garner sympathy? We have definitely seen the controlling side with Kasey.

    Here's my end take on this - I think Jake has a temper, absolutely. But Vienna is not coming off as an abused woman. She is coming off as a very strong, vindictive, drama queen. If there was abuse, that is horrible. But in this day and age where women are truly physically and emotionally abused and have an uphill battle in proving it and getting help, it seriously ticks me off when someone throws the word around (and I mean Vienna, not anyone saying it on this thread) when it isn't present - because it becomes yet another stumbling block for those who are truly suffering to overcome.
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  3. #53
    Live-Love-Laugh Fanny Mare's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    If you did it more than once, & if you were all over him behaving lovely dovey and then said no sex.Its a form of punishment.I can call it abuse, I lived with such a man, I wouldnt leave either.My insecurities had more than a chink, it was a chunk.Just my opinion on the way he behaves, I am sure his leaving will be all about him. Its always about him. on DWTS they reported he was a bit of a control freak, I read that online, no surprise there either. He needs a woman he can control.I say good ridance to bad rubbish.
    We only see what they edit us to see, and from what I have seen, my opinion of Jake was formed long before Vienna said a word about him
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  4. #54
    FORT Fogey norealityhere's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    I've said before that I'm not that fond of any of the 3 - Jake, Vienna or Casey.
    They all have their own issues.
    Jake seems to have a short fuse, but I can't say that I'd really blame him when it came to Vienna. That woman could drive anybody crazy!
    Last edited by canuckinchile; 08-23-2011 at 07:20 PM.
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  5. #55
    FORT Fogey ASassyKat's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    The behavior I witnessed last night from Kasey was also emotionally abusive, when he cornered her in that little room off of the kitchen.

    Chris Harrison posted in his blog that when Vienna doesn't get her way she cries and plays the victim. It's a pattern with her. The trio are all toxic to each other, IMHO.
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  6. #56
    FORT Fogey Duckyface's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    In my opinion they are both vindictive brats trying to make a case for themselves being the one in the right when they both bear responsibility and neither seems very good at relationships. I think they are more like ill behaved children than truly abusive.

    I think women need to stop pulling the "abuse" card so easily or it will lose it's meaning. Whatever standards we have for calling something abusive needs to be equally enforced on women as well.

    I think almost everyone has arguments at times during their relationships in which they behave childishly, say mean things and try to hurt their partner. Yes we need to learn to rise above this and behave like grown ups and learn to control those impulses, but that's hard for anyone to do 100% of the time. To be labeled an abuser is a serious thing and I think it should be treated that way. In my opinion the label shouldn't be applied unless there is a lot of evidence of sustained, one sided, truly abusive behavior.
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  7. #57
    Lux et Veritas chrisg's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    Quote Originally Posted by ASassyKat View Post
    The trio are all toxic to each other, IMHO.
    I didn’t see last night’s show, ASK (as I’ve evacuated the BP), but I just happened to see your post just now and it reminded me of this assessment of Jake’s textbook -- from my study of psychology -- emotional and verbal abuse. And since Jake also exhibited very similar behavior toward Chelsie Hightower, it certainly appears to go well beyond being any woman’s imagination or fault from a clinical perspective:

    Bachelor Jake Pavelka’s Violent Body Language, Smugness, Emotional Abuse, and Lack of Empathy Towards Vienna on Bachelor Reunion Showed A Toxic Man

    JAKE’S VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

    Jake showed that he was arrogant, smug, cut off from communication, unsympathetic, completely into himself. He clearly showed behavior of a control freak who demanded that he be listened to! When Vienna tried to apologize to him, he could care less. He was detached and arrogant. He then told her in the most gruff and harsh tone to “BE QUIET!” How dare he speak to anyone like that! One wouldn’t even speak to an animal in that tone of voice. It was highly abusive and very disturbing to watch.

    JAKE’S HOSTILE AND ABUSIVE BODY LANGUAGE

    When Jake told her to “BE QUIET” his body language was abusive as well, in that he presented his back hand to her. This is a very hostile gesture and can often be a precursor towards physical violence. When a person shows you the back of their hand during an argument, if they are angry enough at you and out of control enough, they could literally “back hand you”.

    Jake also kept shaking his foot indicating that he wanted to get out of there. His body language was saying that wanted to leave and be far away from Vienna. If the backhanded violent gesture wasn’t enough, Jake then did something very shocking. It actually repulsed me to the point that I lost complete respect for him. If Jake could be this violent body language wise when telling her to stop interrupting him on national television, what could he do to her when the cameras were off of them and they were in the privacy of their home?

    Jake did a mock karate chop on his thigh when he yelled at her to stop interrupting him. This is a HUGE red flag in my view. Gestures like that can and have often lead to physical violence. When someone punches a wall or punches their fist, or karate chops their thigh to get a point across it may be a dangerous signal and something to watch for.

    JAKE’S ABUSE MAKES VIENNA CURL UP INTO A BALL

    Vienna was so devastated by the Karate chop, the yelling at her, and the verbal abuse that she retreated into a fetal position while sitting. She literally curled up into a ball with her head on her lap as she sobbed. What was even more disturbing to see what Jake had done to her through his emotional abuse was to see that Jake didn’t even bat an eye. He could care less. He showed absolutely no humanity. Instead, he was focused on himself. He leaned away from her and tried to explain himself via anger, with his fist-like hand clasped to his shaking foot. He showed no compassion towards her whatsoever.

    The selfishness and lack of compassion on Jake's part can never be forgotten. It reflected who he truly is as a human being.
    Bachelor Jake Pavelka’s Violent Body Language, Smugness, Emotional Abuse, and Lack of Empathy Towards Vienna on Bachelor Reunion Showed A Toxic Man « Dr. Lillian Glass Body Language Blog
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  8. #58
    Wild thang Rattus's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    I recall that almost my first, if not my actual first, comment about Jake during Gillian's season was that he appeared to be of weak character and nothing he has done since has changed my opinion. While I'm not going to make level charges of abuse against him, my experience has been that abusive people (not just men) do tend to be weak. And people that weak have a tendency to lash out in frustration and anger when things aren't going their way.
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  9. #59
    FORT Fogey ASassyKat's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    They try to gain control in any given situation, and all 3 of these individuals have done that in one way or another.

    Certain people are just toxic when mixed together, that much is clear in this situation.

  10. #60
    Live-Love-Laugh Fanny Mare's Avatar
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    Re: Jake Pavelka BP2

    Quote Originally Posted by ASassyKat View Post
    The behavior I witnessed last night from Kasey was also emotionally abusive, when he cornered her in that little room off of the kitchen.

    Chris Harrison posted in his blog that when Vienna doesn't get her way she cries and plays the victim. It's a pattern with her. The trio are all toxic to each other, IMHO.
    What CH blogs and what he lets us all see are two different things or scenarios.I am not sure I want to watch anymore..its like, well , its like I am condoning bad behaviour. I guess this isnt the show for me.is it?
    Last edited by Arielflies; 08-24-2011 at 12:28 AM.

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