Very well said, Midol.I agree...I also know men who feel deeply and have a hard time verbalizing, however, this is not a normal situation. I also don't know Ben, but I highly doubt that in the short time he spent with Ashley, Emily, Casey, etc. he developed such a depth of feeling that is between you and your husband. Other than the fantasy suite with Ashley, he never even spent any time alone with any of these women. They are constantly surrounded by producers, sound men, cameras...and I know they say that they don't even notice them any more...but still, any logical person would reason that this is not reality, particularly when this is your second go around and know what to expect and how manipulated/edited it can become.
While I don't expect Ben to go Rah, Rah, you picked someone else, I don't expect him to be so cold and frankly rude about it either. I don't think anyone else ever has been. I also, don't expect him to be so dismissive of others. I guess I expect a little warmth and interest when the women are talking to him about important events/people in their lives. The only time he has perked up at all is when Courtney offered to go skinny dipping with him or when she took off her top at that village and he had the nerve to suggest that he wished the others did too.
I guess what I am saying is that he seems to lack maturity, depth, empathy, and even interest in other people...unless they are getting naked. He should have realised with Ashely that he might not be the one...Others since the show have said it was clear her preference was with JP...so why he should be so surprised that he was rejected is beyond me. We can go on about producer manipulation all we want, being humiliated in front of millions of people who watch the show, etc., and if that had been the only time he acted that way I would give him the benefit of the doubt, but he has displayed similar behaviour multiple time this season as well, so I think this is just him. Hopefully, he will improve with age!
By the way ... You're a very lucky woman to have such a man and may you have many more years together. I should be so lucky.