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Thread: Fun with the Bachelor 15

  1. #1
    The British one... VelvetBex's Avatar
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    Fun with the Bachelor 15

    Since things are moving slow and we know a lot about our bachelor for this season I thought I might as well start some pre season fun (spoiler free of course).



    ----------

    PRODUCER: Brad, now I will go over this...one...more..time

    Brad: Yuh...

    PRODUCER: in a few months, the end, you oick up rose...

    Brad: Yuh...

    PRODUCER: Then you give it to one girl in some pretty far away land

    Brad: Yuh...

    Producer: Then you tell her you love her..

    Brad: But uh, I have to tell her goodbye

    Producer: No Brad, no saying goodbye

    Brad: Uh, can i say goodbye a month after?

    Producer: Of course.
    BIG BROTHER INSTANT CELEBRITY MIX- Just add Fame hungry Idiot.

    Warning: Effects may not last.

  2. #2
    FORT Fanatic IrishGal's Avatar
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    Re: Fun with the Bachelor 15

    Fleiss: Remember Brad, one of these girls will be the next Bachelorette.

    Brad: OK. How do I know which one?

    Fleiss: She'll be the one who is most engaging, the coolest, the brightest, the best.

    Brad: Um, then why won't I fall for her?

    Fleiss: Cuz we will tell you not to.

    Brad: But what if I fall in love with her?

    Fleiss: Too bad.

    Brad: So I kick off the girl I like the most, early on?

    Fleiss: No you wait til it's most dramatic. Lead her on til the bitter end.

    Brad: Then I look like a douche-bag again.

    Fleiss: Brad, we love you but you are a douche-bag for doing this again. Why do you think we love you so much?

  3. #3
    There are Cameras?!? Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Fun with the Bachelor 15

    What We Reap is What You Sow

    Fleissmeister, Fleissmeister, what row do you hoe?
    Why every season do you plant such woe?

    The planting is done, the harvest complete,
    When we sit at your table, what will we eat?

    Potatoes, peas and kale you've fore-sworn,
    In order to serve us only the corn.

    Your table groans with yellow and white,
    and we long for other, less flatulent delight.

    Won't you turn your attention to another field,
    If only to see what it would yield?

    The possible we ask
    The probable you blast
    Our desire for a crop to end our fast.
    Last edited by Arielflies; 11-22-2010 at 10:21 AM.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  4. #4
    FORT Fogey live4romance's Avatar
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    Re: Fun with the Bachelor 15

    Quote Originally Posted by Arielflies;4110720;
    Fleissmeister, Fleissmeister, what row do you hoe?
    Why every season do you plant such woe?

    The planting is done, the harvest complete,
    When we sit at your table, what will we eat?

    Potatoes, peas and kale you've fore-sworn,
    In order to serve us only the corn.

    Your table groans with yellow and white,
    and we long for other, less flatulent delight.

    Won't you turn you attention to another field,
    If only to see what it would yield?

    The possible we ask
    The probable you blast
    Our desire for a crop to end our fast.
    Great post Arielflies
    Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer. ~Author Unknown

  5. #5
    ... Ryvetted's Avatar
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    Re: Fun with the Bachelor 15

    Quote Originally Posted by VelvetBex;4109035;

    Brad: But uh, I have to tell her goodbye

    Producer: No Brad, no saying goodbye

    Brad: Uh, can i say goodbye a month after?

    Producer: Of course.
    Thanks VelvetBex for starting this thread!
    Love it! lol

  6. #6
    Little Red Sleuth Coupe! in2deep's Avatar
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    Re: Fun with the Bachelor 15

    Flieiss's choice of the Bachelor defending
    Brad Womack, on you we're depending
    Will you pick the girl?
    Will we get our twirl?
    [finish the limerick ]
    Never put in writing anything you wouldn't mind seeing on the side of a bus.

  7. #7
    FORT Fanatic Peppermom's Avatar
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    Re: Fun with the Bachelor 15

    Flieiss's choice of the Bachelor defending
    Brad Womack, on you we're depending
    Will you pick the girl?
    Will we get our twirl?
    And deliver a scripted ending?

  8. #8
    FORT Newbie
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    Re: Fun with the Bachelor 15

    Quote Originally Posted by in2deep;4113866;
    Flieiss's choice of the Bachelor defending
    Brad Womack, on you we're depending
    Will you pick the girl?
    Will we get our twirl?
    Or will we Hurl?


    Probably not what you had in mind but I couldn't help myself.
    Last edited by Arielflies; 11-28-2010 at 12:07 AM.

  9. #9
    There are Cameras?!? Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Fun with the Bachelor 15

    Because I can't seem to help myself. More bad poetry, this time used to call Reality Steve a speck of dust.

    As frost on the pumpkin signals the cold season,
    so Bachelor sleuths find their reason
    To discover people and places remote,
    though now rote when Steve gives his mote.

    This speck of dust in the universe
    is enough to make one adverse
    to sleuthing the highs and the lows
    of what makes up the Bachelor show.

    Do we say farewell to our autumn frost,
    say goodbye to what is now lost?

    Innocence falls beneath his keen blade;
    but someday, someday, the sleuthers will rise
    and take back the vaunted prize
    of figuring out without being told
    the secrets of this be-loved show.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  10. #10
    FORT Fogey Starshine_16's Avatar
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    Re: Fun with the Bachelor 15

    Quote Originally Posted by IrishGal;4109201;
    Fleiss: Remember Brad, one of these girls will be the next Bachelorette.

    Brad: OK. How do I know which one?

    Fleiss: She'll be the one who is most engaging, the coolest, the brightest, the best.

    Brad: Um, then why won't I fall for her?

    Fleiss: Cuz we will tell you not to.

    Brad: But what if I fall in love with her?

    Fleiss: Too bad.

    Brad: So I kick off the girl I like the most, early on?

    Fleiss: No you wait til it's most dramatic. Lead her on til the bitter end.

    Brad: Then I look like a douche-bag again.

    Fleiss: Brad, we love you but you are a douche-bag for doing this again. Why do you think we love you so much?
    Perfect!
    "I need to stop talking about shoes before I get tabbed to judge some gay fashion show, or get a call from Tanner to hang out." sdl

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