Anachronism before Noon
There is absolutely nothing we can say here that will amount to one-tenth of the anguish that child would experience if any of his schoolmates were to come across this show and recognize his mother.
Originally Posted by becky2002
I don't think mommies and daddies should be appearing on casual dating shows like this. Brittany made a poor choice, and should be criticized.
Originally Posted by friendofbrittan
Thanks for the information... I was well aware that it was an oversight though.
Leave No Trace
I agree. As a single (divorced) mom (age 36) of a young daughter (age 5) I would never personally fish for a date on a reality TV show. I do not date casually, as I don't want people popping in and out of her life.
Originally Posted by Anemic Dog
We all know how out of hand the media / internet frenzy gets over these type of shows - why would anyone risk exposing their child to that? I bet you there are people are off trying to track down this child as we speak.
I also agree with previous poster (Maveno) in that [quote] "lemme say this...to have a successful, happy, healthy and wholesome longterm relationship with someone, that someone HAS TO HAVE A POSITIVE "role model", "daddy-like" behavior in the relationship/home. Or it won't work.
He won't be DADDY..but he'll have to take up the responsibilities that daddy isn't doing cause daddy is absent, regardless of what she wants to see happen."] quote
(that's a quote - hope I did that right)
It is a VERY big deal to be in a relationship with someone who has a child. To the child, the parent, and whoever the parent is dating. I know - I have been on both sides of the scenario.
I find it irresponsible that she is doing the show, and personally feel she must be doing it for completely selfish reasons (exposure). There are better ways for ANYONE to find a partner, especially for someone with a child. I would hope that she is immediately up-front with Adam about the situation, and would hope that Adam (if he hasn;t already been in a relationship with a mother AND child (cuz' that is honestly how it is) and thought through his TRUE feelings about this) let's her go next time. This is not a situation to be taken lightly and there is not enough of a time frame for all those feelings / things to be worked out.
She made a poor judgement call. JM(informed)O.
Wow! I think you are all being a little harsh here. So I guess every actor, newsperson, celebrity, person who appears on television etc should refrain from having children b/c it is such a detriment to the child. Should we chide everyperson who appears on television for bringing a child into this world?Come on. Appearing on the show isn't a poor judgement call if she doesn't engage in any innappropriate activity. I know Brittany, and I know for a fact thant she doesn't casually date. She doesn't even drink alcohol. She told me that on the show her drinks were all non alcoholic! She never even goes out. She is totally devoted to her son. She stays at home every night with her little boy, and that's where she is happiest.
For whoever made the comment about her son's classmates finding out, he proudly took her picture from the local newspaper in to school. He is so proud to see his mom on tv. He begged her to submit to the show, and that's the only reason she did. She is a responsible, mature, educated woman, and she takes very good care of her child. She will continue to protect and nurture him once the show ends, and he will have a fond memory of his mother appearing on television portraying the loving relationship they have as well as her love for him.
Don't make comments until you see the show. This is a very happy time for them, and they are both thrilled with the outcome.
Leave No Trace
You are missing my point - appearing on the show AT ALL is where she is making the poor judgement call, IMO. You don't expose a child to this kind of situation, with all the unknowns. Nothing is a given on these shows.
So, the only reason she applied is to appease her son - and of course his Mommy is the greatest - and so is Adam and of course she will win - and of course no one will be hurt - great....IF (BIG IF) it all works out.
What about the potential for hurt? No way I'd do that to my child. As a parent, you must also look at the worst case scenario. To have all that play out on national TV? In front of him and his friends? Worth the risk? Not in my book.
Obviously you think very highly of this woman, I get that. All I said was I view it as irresponsible and self-serving. Not saying the woman doesn;t have a right to pursue happiness, but, come on, on a reality TV dating show? There must be better options, for her and for her son's sake.
Lasty - with regards to you saying "don't make comments until you see the show" Sorry. That's what this forum is for.
Obviously we disagree (and you know the woman so I understand the position you have taken), but I was just expressing my own opinion. That is what these forums are for.
(And BTW, your last comment seems a little "spoiler-ish" to me)
Anachronism before Noon
You're missing the point, friend of Brittany. Dating implies huge changes in a young child's life. I'm not criticizing the fact that she is appearing on television (or even in Playboy, apparently). I'm criticizing the fact that she's on a dating show, and exposing her child to the experience.
Once you decide to bring a child into the world, you have to remember that there's someone else affected by every decision you make. It's a huge responsibility.
She should be the adult here - even if the kid thinks it's fun at first, she should have the maturity to understand that it could quickly turn around and become a major embarrassment.
And if she "does well" on this show, she's going to be seen making out with someone she's known for about three hours. Is that the right message for the child? Potential father figures are auditioned at the rate of one every three hours?
It's a four week show. The only boyfriend she had since her son's birth did not even meet her son until they'd dated for a year. Regardless of the outcome, anyone she would choose to date wouldn't meet her son unless it became long term and serious (I'm talking a year+). No guys are in and out of her son's life b/c she doesn't go out on dates. Also, brittany would never "make out" with someone she'd known for only four weeks regardless. Her son doesn't really get the concept of a dating show or the win/lose/rejection situation. He thinks it's neat. Life goes on..end of story.
I don't know the outcome of the show or what's to come, so nothing I say is spoilerish. I just know that Brittany was cognizant that her son would watch the portions of the show she appeared in and acted accordingly.
Either way, you've all made your points. Why not change the topic of conversation.
Anachronism before Noon
So, in other words, Brittany went on the show solely to further her modeling career. Got it.
Yoffy lifts a finger...
The topic of conversation will change as soon as people feel they have said all they want to say.
I think it's natural that people would be interested that she has chosen to appear on a romance reality tv show when she has a child.
Whatever assurances you feel compelled to give about the kind of mother she is, the way she protects her child etc. apparently do nothing to persuade people that the basic decision to appear on the show in the first place was a good one.
If that is the case, the I wonder how you an say with such certainty that Brittany did not become in some way intimate with Adam, unless she has told you that she didn't.
I don't know the outcome of the show or what's to come. . .
If that is the case, then Brittany should be careful that she is not violating any secrecy agreements in speaking to you.
You should likewise be careful that you are not laying her open to a lawsuit for making comments here.
Unless she has told you what went on during her time on the show, your comments, while admittedly based on personal knowledge of the contestant, are speculative.
Making out with someone she has known for a short time might well be out of character for her in a normal situation, but this is hardly normal.
Last edited by fluff; 03-17-2004 at 05:15 PM.
Fool... but no pity.
I think the key here is that it was probably BAD JUDGEMENT to come on a reality show, at least if you (or friends of yours) will be worried about how it may affect your child. This is not the same as saying she's a bad person, or even a bad mother in general, because this is FAR too little to go on to make any assumptions like that. But it's NOT too little info to conclude that odds are always good that going on a show like this will bite you on the ass somehow.
Why was it bad judgement? Because what happens on so-called "reality shows" is not reality, and every person in the universe knows that by now. It's not that it's not ever an accurate representation--because the kernel of truth is always present despite clever editing and even resequencing--it's more that Reality TV is "hyper-reality". Things will happen which people are FULLY capable of doing (because they do them), but they happen due to combinations of events which would never happen in the real world. And the editing (even the misleading editing) follows the pattern as well. You HAVE to know that going on a reality dating show that you WILL be put in positions, either sincerely and cooperatively, producer manipulated, or edited into being, where you won't look so good. You can't go into a show like this with open eyes and yet claim that your child, or your friends at work, or your boss, or your parents or even Joe Sixpick USA isn't going to have plenty of occasions to witness you humiliate the hell out of yourself.
Was it Brittany's right to do so? Sure? Might she be naive enough to actually believe that nothing totally mortifying would happen to her? Perhaps. Will she get lucky and nothing like that WILL happen? Possibly--but if so it will be at the whim of fate and the producers in combination as much or more than the actions or non-actions of Brittany Ducker. But no matter which way it falls it's pretty natural to look at someone who takes a step like this and ask "is she nuts?"
Speech about theoreticals over. I still like what little I've seen of her. Perhaps her gamble will pay off, and she might come out of this unscarred.
Last edited by Krom; 03-17-2004 at 07:27 PM.
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