Was Larissa's conflict typical of women?

[network]

Larissa seemed to be torn between choosing a guy that she had a great emotional connection but no physical attraction (Brian), and a guy with a strong physical attraction and a slight emotional attraction (Gil/Jim). I believe she wanted a spark to be there between her and Brian. Before her hometown date with him I think she said something like she wanted to see his moves or something like that. So she wanted to have some attraction there, but it just never materialized.

I don't think that Larissa's choice is that unique. It seems to happen all too often. A woman will say she wants a nice guy who will treat her right, but she'll fall for a hunky, good-looking guy. Then when the hunk dumps her, she'll cry on the shoulder of some nice guy that she "just wants to be friends with".

I'm not trying to women-bash with this. But it seems that the pattern in Larissa's behavior is pretty common. Intellectually she wanted to have a relationship with someone where there was a strong emotional connection, but in the end she let her physical desires make the choice. She even 'deluded' herself that there was emotional depth to Gil.

Men follow their physical desires too, but they are usually more up front about it. Ask a man what he wants in a woman and probably the first thing he'll say is that she be attractive.

So I can't blame Larissa too much for the choice she made. I had hoped that the underdog would have won, but it did not happen. I feel Larissa made the same choice that many other women would have made. Or actually, the same choice that many other people would have made.

[Sunnyone]

So I can't blame Larissa too much for the choice she made. I had hoped that the underdog would have won, but it did not happen. I feel Larissa made the same choice that many other women would have made. Or actually, the same choice that many other people would have made.

I don't blame her either. I honestly think if she had the choice, she wouldn't have chosen either one. I think she really tried for the spark with Brian, but it just wasn't there. But, maybe with another beauty queen it would have been. It just so happened that the NBC picked her. Throughout the whole season, I kept thinking how young she is. (and how old I am, but at least I've matured). I can totally see me doing what she did when I was 25! I think taste is such a personal preference and that is why I was bothered by the stigma of the AJ's- many of them were good looking, and some of the hunks weren't.
Also, I personally can't have a physical relationship with a man that I am not attracted to. (but again, that is personal taste). So I can see the conflict with Larissa. If it were me, I probably wouldn't have chosen Brian either. Many women would have.

[JunkieGirl]

I have to admit after watching this show that I have learned something. ACKKK learned something from a REALITY SHOW?? I too have made hasty judgements based on someone's looks regarding whether they would be dating material or not. OK OK Bring out the wet noodle. But by watching this show I have it set in my mind that I will not be so quick to judge in the future. Of course chemistry does play a part (and believe me I have made many a mistake in THAT department lol). But on the other hand I have thought that many of these Average Joes are particularly handsome to me. I am not into pretty boys or model types. But with that being said, maybe opening my eyes to the possibility of looking just beyond the looks, maybe there is hope I will find my Prince Charming one day! Awwwww how sappy is that?

[Spritz]

I don't blame Larissa either. Chances are, a good-looking guy has alot of issues & maintenance - which some like as a challenge.

I did as Larissa did above, too, and here I am single again. And heck, I'm okay with it. There's no real black & white, as dating either has it's own pros and cons. But if it came down to a choice, never settle!

[meathead11]

They've done some studies and found that good looking people perfer other good looking people. Don't we all. People like Larissa know that they are good looking and know they don't have to "settle" for somebody less attractive then they are. To make a show where the "Average Joe or Jane" has a chance they all need to be blindfolded and sent on dates together. You take out the looks factor and have only personalities to judge by. Hmmmmmm, I think I've come up with the next reality TV show. Better go pitch it to NBC!

[NoreenPerfect]

To make a show where the "Average Joe or Jane" has a chance they all need to be blindfolded and sent on dates together. You take out the looks factor and have only personalities to judge by. Hmmmmmm, I think I've come up with the next reality TV show. Better go pitch it to NBC!

Sorry. It's been done. Was called Mr Personality and the men wore masks. Major bomb.

[msundin1376]

I have to admit after watching this show that I have learned something. ACKKK learned something from a REALITY SHOW?? I too have made hasty judgements based on someone's looks regarding whether they would be dating material or not. OK OK Bring out the wet noodle. But by watching this show I have it set in my mind that I will not be so quick to judge in the future. Of course chemistry does play a part (and believe me I have made many a mistake in THAT department lol). But on the other hand I have thought that many of these Average Joes are particularly handsome to me. I am not into pretty boys or model types. But with that being said, maybe opening my eyes to the possibility of looking just beyond the looks, maybe there is hope I will find my Prince Charming one day! Awwwww how sappy is that?

There is hope for Reality TV after all!

[smarty]

I think Larissa is one of those dumb women who say they want to settle down with a nice guy, however, they seem to the opposite. There are people who are gorgeous physically as well as truly nice, but most people aren't so lucky. A great personality can make someone far more attractive. Besides, its not like Brian was "hunchback in a bell tower ugly". He was okay, but is personality made him awesome (imagine pronounced with Boston accent). I am a sucker for some one quick, witty, and funny, so I definitely would have chose Brian.

[Catniptoy]

My husband and I (married 15 years now) actually sat down and had a conversation about this after the show. He is a therapist by profession.
The problem with Larissa (and with a lot of people--not just women, but men, too) is the "fairy tale" fantasy they have in their heads. They grow up thinking that they will meet Mr. or Ms. Right and sparks will fly and they will be carried away with love. Sometimes they do feel a huge chemical attraction with someone and they get married quickly and are very surprised and upset when that chemistry wears off, and they are left with someone who doesn't feel like dancing around the kitchen every evening because the real world has intruded. People just have unrealistic expectations about what marriage is and what makes a strong marriage. Larissa obviously had a problem with her previous relationship that was similar. She said it went very fast, she was with him nine months and that she came to the realization that she loved him but didn't know if she was "in love" with him. (I guess that was Fabio, although I'm not sure he was her last romance). Well, that description has all of the signs and symptoms of the fairy tale syndrome, because when the whirlwind is over (or when the plans for the big wedding and honeymoon are over and you face reality) there is no strong foundation for the relationship and they look at each other and think the "spark" is gone, so they break up.
Of course, you don't want to marry someone you are completely unattracted to physically, but if you find qualities in them that are physically attractive and you build a foundation with them, that could make a lasting marriage. These reality shows allow so little time for the people to see each other that really they are doomed to fail. The only one I've ever seen last is Trista and Ryan, and they haven't come down from their honeymoon high yet. My criteria when I decided whether my husband was the one for me was whether I could picture this man standing by me and still loving me if I was in an accident or something and no longer looked the way I looked the day I married him. I knew I would stand by him if that happened to him, and I needed to feel he would do the same. You can't build a marriage on a fairy tale, because most fairy tales end with the proposal of marriage and "they lived happily ever after." So yes, I think that sort of expectation is really common, and that is why people should attend pre-marriage counseling together, to make sure they understand the real day-to-day life they will live. OK, lecture over! Sorry I got on the soapbox--it's a pet subject.

[ylsf]

Wow.. I guess it has been about a week since the show ended but I finally saw the finale.. I am doing some travelling and managed to d/l the episode from my PC at home to my computer here!! What Catniptoy says seems very true.. I have know girls in the past (including one that I dated) who seem to have this "fairy" tale fantasy and expect things to happen a certain way. I think Larissa (based on what they showed on the show at least) may very well "expect" things to be a certain way, and when they are not be confused.