average Joe shallow Joe

[njdasha]

I have been reading this board for a few days now. I have to say in defense of Melena and Larrissa, they have the right to preffer a partner they feel is sexually attractive to them. Why is it only men are allowed that right no matter how ugly.
I am originally from Russia. I am 27 years old. I came to the U.S. 9 years ago. Though I came here with my family, there are a lot of Russian women who come here as mail order brides. Why? Because many Average Joe's will travel all over the world to find a beautiful woman desperate enough to put up with him. He does not care if he does not understand a word she says. He does not care if she finds him repulvise. All he cares about is the fact he does not want an average girl andhe will be the envy of all his friends.
Instead of looking at themselves and trying to be more attractive to the opposite sex, they do not. Why? Because they have a different set of rules for a woman. If a woman is out of shape, plain, or has bad teeth they will make fun of her and not want her. But if they are,and women will not date them she is called shallow.
Also, many Average Joe's have social problems. Some cannot talk to women and really have not dated a lot.
I look at some of these average Joe's and think of the health issues they will have as they age. But instead of admiring someone who works out, they make fun of the hunks for doing something that will improve their quality of life for years to come. They make fun of the hunks for trying to look good. Yet the AJ's love women who are in shape and take time to look good. That is hypocricy.
I would love to take a RoseAnne lookalike and put her beside Larrissa to give the AJ's the oppurtunity to date her too.See if they are really just nice guys looking for a nice girl. I bet no one would even bother with her. She would be invisible when Larrissa was around.

If anyone still is feeling sorry for AJ"s go to www.planet-love.com and look at the forums. AJ"s looking for foreign wives.

It is funny how 40 50 60 year old "below AJ's(sometimes you can see pictures)want a young 20's 30's beauty. All they talk about is what town or country has the most beautiful women.They love to go to countries that are very poor. Because then the beautiful women are desperate enough to marry them. They also talk about how fat and ugly AW are.Forgetting there are plenty of men in the U.S. especially them, that pretty much fit that description. They are bitter because beautiful women in the U.S. have many choices to date men who take pride in appearance and will not date them. But yet, they do not want the Average girl because they feel she is beneath the.
Dasha

[JR.]

Sure, they absolutely have that right. But, the problems come up when they are not honest. Don't tell some BS story about looks not being important, and go on to drool all over the "hunks".

I didn't see the first one, but I have to give Larissa some credit. She's a model and has been in beauty pageants so it's obvious that looks are high on her list. She was straightforward is saying that she's interested in someone that takes care of themselves and cares about their appearance. I have to applaud that.

[Candybar]

I have been reading this board for a few days now. I have to say in defense of Melena and Larrissa, they have the right to preffer a partner they feel is sexually attractive to them. Why is it only men are allowed that right no matter how ugly.
I am originally from Russia. I am 27 years old. I came to the U.S. 9 years ago. Though I came here with my family, there are a lot of Russian women who come here as mail order brides.
Dasha

Welcome to the FORT ! I enjoyed reading your thoughtful response to the issues the show raises. Have fun here.

[KaiCee]

Larissa has the right to pick any guy she wants. She did go into this whole thing believing she was going to get hot guys...something like Bachelorette. Getting AJ's instead of hunks was a surprise to her. I do think that this particular group of hunks are either acting like or actually are above-average obnoxious though.

In defense of these particular Average Joes (and I am in no way defending the men who advertise for foriegn wives - not caring how he obtains one as long as she is young and pretty...and willing to serve him). The guys on this show did not originally sign up to get a date with a beautiful woman. NBC said it was going to be a "Life of the Party" show. When they saw Larissa...sure...they would liked to be picked. Not many of them would ever expect her to be interested in them under any other circumstances. Larissa is the cream of the crop...no doubt about that. The fact that they all would be honored to be the one she picks makes them a lot different than the AJ's you are talked about, Dasha. The men you talked about can be disgusting - when you take advantage of a woman that makes you much less than average. I really liked your post though, Dasha. It made me think about a lot of things. Poor women that are brought to this country by men who just want slaves. (I'm sure that not all the men do that...I am sure there are some who advertise for foreign women because they are lonely and they treat them well once they get here...but the ones who only want slaves are scum). Kaicee

[haibane]

You can't say all Average Joes are shallow and only interested in beautiful women. If you put an average girl with a great personality next to Larissa, I bet you most of the Joes will go for the average girl. There are many average men who love and marry average women. I'm sure many of the Joes will eventually settle down with a girl in their league.

Of course, there are some men who are socially-retarded, or simply have such repulsive personalities, they cannot attract ANY women on their own, so they settle for a mail order bride. Then there are the men who were warped by bad experiences with American women and begin to fear and hate them, so they'd rather settle with a non-threatening foreigner. But these men are exceptional cases.

And more often than not, the mail order brides they marry are smarter and tougher than the helpless victims you imagine. I hear stories about foreign women using their husbands to get a green card and ditching them the minute they see an opportunity. I personally know of 3 average guys who married mail order brides. 2 were fat, ugly, bald middle age men and 1 was a decent looking but socially inept young guy who got hurt by several relationships with American women. The 2 foreign women who married the fat ugly bald men were after money: 1 woman is turning her husband into a scrooge, so now they're both super cheap and obsessed with making money in real estate investments ; the other woman is the saddest case because her husband is quite an a$$ and looks down on her and only wanted her to birth babies to give him a big family (and she went through years of operations and pain for that since she's not too fertile), BUT... she loves all the stuff her husband affords to buy her and she loves to tell her guests how much everything in her house costs. The socially inept young guy married a very pretty and very nice Chinese girl who learned English quickly and they seem pretty happy.

[dfleming2]

I think you have to remember that Larissa is the only woman to choose from... If I had to choose between Larissa and a less attractive intelligent woman, Larissa would be on her way out.

[John]

I think drawing a comparison between an "average person" and someone who would order a mail-order bride from Russia is a liiiiiiiiiitle stretch of the ol' imagination.

[njdasha]

I think drawing a comparison between an "average person" and someone who would order a mail-order bride from Russia is a liiiiiiiiiitle stretch of the ol' imagination.

I am not comparing the AJ's with the mail order brides. What I am saying is though most call Larissa shallow, they have to understand she has options and if she chooses someone she is attracted to who can blame her.

I am saying most men no matter how out of shape or socially enept feel they are entitled to a beautiful woman. They will go as far as travelling to an imporished country . Not caring if they cannot understand her language or culture,as long as they can obtain the beauty .

Some who can afford it go the Mail order route. They get angry with women in the U.S. because they feel the women here are picky. But they will do nothing to make themselves more attractive to the opposite sex.
Yet they then turn around and go to a foreign country looking for the youngest and prettiest woman they can find,being even more picky than the American woman they accuse..

I am not at all conceited but I am considered attractive. Many times AJ's who I know or dated would be very shallow. Some friends I have tried to fix up with girls who I consider cute would complain the girl was not "their type" or not attractive enough though they were nothing great.

I am now married to a great American man. He is a hunk but a really great guy. People, especially men judge him by his looks. Though he is successful many attribute it to luck. He is extremely intelligent, but people assume he is not. Some men say they are too busy to work out so much. My husband has a workout plan that consist of less than 10 minutes a day. He uses stairs at the office and works out 5 minutes with weights . I have heard men imply he must be gay to take all this time with his looks.But he hardly takes time at all. It is genetic. Many people hurt his feelings with this negative attitude.

What strikes me is that he is way kinder than many of his AJ friends. I have been with some of his friends who are also so picky with what they want in a woman. I noticed many AJ's are pretty shallow.
I think it is time men understand women can and are allowed to pick and choose who they are attracted to without being put down.
Yes, I have met a few AJ's who are really sincere and are not into looks. But they are few and far between.

I also agree Mail oder Brides are not the poor girls that are sometimes portrayed. But some will portait them as scammers because they leave their husbands once they get to the U.S. I disagree. I think it is a situation very much like Larissa's and Melena where they choose from the small sample of Average American men that come to their country. But once in the U.S. the very pretty girl realizes her choices are much greater,and like anyone will choose who she finds best suitable for her. Water seeks it's own level.

[dreaminginblond]

I think the important thing to remember (aside from mail order brides of course) is that most people don't "pick" who they fall for or who they are attracted to. If it's a genuine attraction, it comes from someplace within you and not your connived idea. It's natural and automatic, not planned.

[JacknJillfmHill]

njdasha,
I'm confused. Are you defending Larissa and Melina? Is it okay to try and be with the most attractive partner you can find? Is that shallow or not? Or it is only shallow if you are old and/or ugly and are with a young and beautiful person? Would it make a difference if the old ugly person was a rock star? What aspect of the mail order bride thing is so upsetting to you? The fact that the men aren't better looking or younger or that they didn't choose older, less attractive wives from overseas?