I am not saying it is ok to look for the most attractive person you can find. Ypou should choose the total package of what is right for you. I am defending Melena and Larissa because I think a woman should be able to choose a man she finds attractive and not be put down as shallow. If a woman is always getting hit on by AJ's and good looking men, most likely she will look for a person who is the whole package. She has plenty of oppurtunity to choose. So she is luckier than most.Chances are the person she chooses will be one she finds sexually attractive.
It just seems men think it's ok to want someone who they find sexually attractive, but a woman who does that is considered shallow. Why? Should'nt the attraction be equally mutual? or are women not supposed to care what a man looks like? My husband is very good looking, but I chose him because he was the total package. Intelligent, sweet, caring. Most people I have dated Average or above cannot come close.
Many men think they are entiltled to having a beautiful girl solely because they are men. If a pretty woman will not date them they will often go far out of their way to find one. That is the main reason men want to make money. To get a pretty girl.
But God forbid a woman has an ideal type in her head she may find attractive. Even if she has easy access to that type because they are always hitting on her, she is considered a bitch if she does not choose an AJ.
So everyone making judgement calls on Larissa and Melena should understand
Originally Posted by JacknJillfmHill
The race is back!
Well, let's not play around... Larissa's going to be considered a bitch regardless of who she chooses. This is a "no-win" situation for her.
I still fail to realize what mail-order brides has to do with anything. But don't bother explaining it again.
I agree with you in the fact that she can choose whoever she wants, and in most cases that will be based a lot on who she finds attractive, and she has that right, its just all set up for everyone to want the little guy to win (in this case the nerdy guys).
If you ask most guys if they could spend time with Roseanne or a Super Model for nothing more than a few weeks of romance, I think most would choose the model.
There are no commitment issues here, she's just having a good time. Like the first average Joe, she will probably fly off with a hunk for a few days of scmooching at some tropical island, and they will never see each other again after that.
As for the Russian bride thing.....I think its mutually beneficial.
In this week's People magazine (Feb. 9th issue), there is a story about an average Joe Scientist who killed his beautiful wife. At the age of thirty-nine, he married a young, beautiful, twenty year old mail order bride. Long story short, she had several affairs. On Jan. 16th, the now 53 year old man snapped and clubbed his thirty-four year old wife to death. It seems some of these women will do anything to come to America. While here, they realize they can do so much better and eight times out of ten they have affairs or leave the average Joes.
Just read the bios of some of the AJs, and see who their dream girls are. Compare that to some of the hunks versions of dream girls. Very interesting.
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Would agree with the idea that Larissa ought to be able to pick whomever she wants without appearing shallow. Although there are some people out there that are just flat out fugly, most people, with some effort, can look OK. Accordingly, being "unattractive" might equate in a lot of cases to not giving a rip about your appearance, health, etc. -- with the exception of the 90's grunge crowd, ambivalence and apathy aren't particularly attractive traits.
Larissa is in good physical condition and obviously takes care of herself. I don't think it is unreasonable for her to be attracted to someone else that shares that passion.
Let's face it - men put far more priority on a woman's looks than women do on men. That is why we can have a show like Average Joe and not Average Jane. Of course, this can be debated, but in the course of my life, which has been fairly lengthy, I have known men to be much more shallow than women.
Women put more emphasis on a man's personality, professional potential, and status than looks. However, that being said, first impressions and chemistry also weigh heavily in a woman's decision to become intimate with a man.
I have known wonderful men who I became interested in after I got to know them even though I wasn't initially physically attracted. They were charming and intelligent but just average in looks. However, none of them were dorks or grossly overweight like many on this show. With the exception of AJ Michael and a few others, I would have never been attracted to any of these men.
"Hunks" are also scrutinized by most women. If a man is merely handsome but has no personality, is dim witted, or jobless with few goals, he would be quickly rejected. The type of men who appeal to most women are not the hunks on this show, but the ones on the Bachelorette - attractive, well groomed, intelligent, career minded, and charming.
I agree that Larissa (and Melana) were both in darned if you don't, darned if you do scenarios. In Melana's case, it turned out she had to choose between the eye candy and the millionaire. Therefore, she had the choice of looking shallow or like a gold digger.
Originally Posted by John
I understand what Dasha was saying about the mail-order brides ... I'll put it in different terms in a more familiar scenario. I've known quite a few guys (some of my husband's friends) that on a scale of 1 to 10 are probably around a 4 appearance-wise. These guys will (and have) turned their noses up at nice, intelligent ladies that are say 7's or so. For some reason (hubby can't figure it out either), these guys think they should only be with 9's and 10's. When these guys do find such a girl that will go out with them, hubby always says "he's batting way out of his league".
From what I have heard of the mail order bride scenario, the US has guys in the 1-3 range getting foreign 10's to marry them. These women put up with these men because the situation in their homelands is so bad that they are willing to do just about anything to leave. The man gets the trophy wife he wanted, the woman gets to live in the US, and pool boys get lucky.
I think that Shallow Hal cover this topic in their movie.... Men want a supermodel, while women want a good provider... Sucks, but is true!!!!
Originally Posted by JulieC
1. America's Top Model: Eva
2. The Apprentice: Andy
3. Survivor: Julie
You hit the nail on the head. If you try to fix a man up with a blind date, his first question will be, "what does she look like?" and a woman's will be, "what does he do for a living?"
Originally Posted by croftchrism
When the first AJs premiered, one of my colleagues who happens to be African-American and I had a discussion about AJs wanting to date supermodels. He said something which I thought was interesting. He said without a doubt he would rather date Halle Berry than Condolezza Rice any day. Did I mention he is an average Joe? Go figure!
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