Witness for the Defense: Why Melana chose Jason
I've watched the show now three times, and spent the past two hours reading hundreds of posts about people's feelings and the outcome.
Most think that it was a slam-dunk; that Melana had to chose Adam if she was to redeem herself in front of the American viewing public.
However, this was NOT a show where the viewers could phone in their votes for whom she should end up with; it was Melana's choice all along. Also it was NOT "Who will Melana Marry?" It was a D.A.T.I.N.G. show, plain and simple.
Although I was shocked that she chose Jason over Adam, these are my thoughts on why she made the choice she did.
1) Childhood similarities: She remarked over and over again about the similar childhood experiences that she and Jason had: bronzed baby shoes, living in the same home from 3 years old on, etc. For many people who end up being together, it's the Formative years that are the foundation for their beginning relationship. Whether they grew up in the South, in a high rise, or had the same religious up-bringing, it's the sameness that lends a level of comfort to an early relationship.
2) Wow! The prejudice against someone living at home with his parents while he's trying to further himself...amazing!!! I live in a heavily Hispanic area of Chicago, and not far from that area is a Greek neighborhood. It is completely unthinkable for an unmarried male or female to leave the family structure, just to be on their own. My own crew foreman has all three of his "children" still living at home: Sandy 21, Sylvia 26 and Domingo 30. Two are going to school, the son is helping his dad in my business. To these cultures, and many more, the family is strongest when it's together, not apart.
I found it heartwarming that Jason thinks so highly of his parents and obviously that his parents think the same of him that they both still want to be in each others lives. And how many people can still say at the age of 26 that their parents are even still living together.
Looking around his bedroom, I was impressed with the lack of "creature comforts." There was no GIANT Big Screen TV, no kick ass stereo system. There was a plain desk, a map of the places he had visited (which I found sweet) and very little else. If he was the wastrel that he's portrayed as being, there would have been plenty more crap for us to see.
The man is humble. I like that.
3) Jason is not the aggressor in the relationship and Melana enjoys being in charge. I certainly can't fault her with that because I've been the Lead in 100% of the relationships that I've entertained. She was the one that took him to task for the alcohol; Adam was the one that was chronically taking HER to task: at the basketball game, in the limo, etc.
In most relationships that I'm privy to seeing, there is always a leader and follower, the dominant and submissive. I'm NOT saying The Bully and The Bullied, but, the person who is going to set the pace and the person that's pretty much going to follow. Looking at Jason's birthday, he's a Cancer and if you follow astrology, Cancers are Caring, Giving, Demure, and Homebodies. They are rarely the Steve McQueens or Rocky's of the World. Melana wants to be in charge; being with Jason, allows her that role.
4) Melana and Jason were on a more level playing field, emotionally. She was on this show to find someone fun to date. She did. End of story. She did not come on the show to be engaged, to find a meal ticket or to do anything beyond some dating. Melana had a crush on Jason and Jason had a crush on her. They wanted to explore it.
Adam, on the otherhand, was taking the entire experience WA-A-Y too seriously. For him, it was Do or Die. For him, it was yet another Goal that he had to accomplish. He was Rocky and he had to beat his opponent to win the title and the girl. Melana was NOT a prize that was meant to be won; she was a girl on a dating show that tried to find someone who made her comfortable.
Much has been said that she chose Looks over Money. Well, what's so un-noble about that? What if Jason had not made the finals, and Dennis or Wally had gone against Adam, making it TWO Average Joe's? If she had chosen Adam and his millions vs. Dennis and his part time acting, then she would have been accused of being a Greedy, Money-Grubbing Bitch, rather than a Stupid, Bubble-Headed Bitch. People would have pulverized her for selling out; for taking Adam when she found out he was worth millions.
She didn't. She took the guy that had nothing to offer, but himself. I find that personally refreshing.
If you watch any romantic films from Hollywood, the premise is "Who will the pretty but poor girl chose?" In Sweet Home Alabama, Reese turned down the rich, powerful Mayor's son (who was nice and sane) over the poor, backwoods hillbilly that she left behind. We were set up as an audience to wish her to turn down Mr. Rich for Mr. Poor, and that's the way the game is played. The fact that Melana chose Mr. Poor elevates her in my mind, not diminishes her.
For my tastes, I felt that Adam was just "too" too for Melana or me. He tried to impress her with the framed articles of himself in his bedroom. Interestingly, Jason had NO framed modeling photos of himself in his.
He had to "show" off his 1/2 interest in his restaurant: including a drink menu that he customized to include their dates. Again, Adam...you don't have to try so hard to impress the girl. I'm surprised that he didn't have the Mayor name an honorary street in her name on Fifth Avenue.
And then there was the romantic evening. He should have just opened up his wallet and given her is Gold Card; sorry, but only Richard Gere can get away with surrounding his leading lady with 200 pink roses and endless gifts. Am I the only one that thought, "He's trying to buy her affection!" ?
The more that I rewatched the shows, the more "nice" Adam came off as "Competitive" Adam: it was all about the WIN and Malena would have made the nicest, little Trophy Girlfriend and then Trophy Wife that Adam could find.
I think it's great that he's a self-made millionaire by 27; I don't hold that against him. However, I personally know NO ONE who is a millionaire at 27 (maybe 40 or 50) but not at his age. Adam reminds me of the an extreme Type A personality that has his Life List made out and the only thing that he needed to check off was 7) Beautiful Trophy Wife, 8) 2.5 Beautiful Kids.
Lastly, many found Jason's viewing of Melana and Adam tacky and his coming down to greet Adam as the final straw. Gee, I'll glady wave my hand and say, if in similar circumstances, I would have been watching from the airplane, too. He's curious. It's a human trait.
And as for saying something to Adam, it showed good graces and manners. If he had stayed skulking in the plane, he would have looked callow. By coming down to the platform and shaking Adam's hand and talking to him, it was a sign of good upbringing and "No hard feelings."
My GrandMa had a saying that went, "A beautiful face at 20 is a gift from God; a beautiful face at 50 is what you've earned."
Just because the genetic roll of dice granted Melana and Jason with favorable looks, I can't fault. People are pissed at Paris Hilton because she came with a Silver Spoon in her mouth. People are pissed at good looking people for their birthright. It's appearing to me, that the snobbism that we attribute to the rich and wealthy is more rampant in the EveryMan response, which is, unless you're average and earned every nickle that you can rub together, you're subject to criticism.
I'm happy for Jason and Melana. I'm also happy for Adam and Tareq and Dennis and Wally and all the people that entered into contracts with this show. No one ended up losing, for they all came away with an experience.
And that's all that any of us could ask for.