Average Joe Recap 11/24 - Iím An Average Joe Ė Get Me Out of Here!
What happens when you introduce a former NFL Cheerleader to 16 average guys, have her narrow down the field to 3, and then introduce 3 male models with hard bodies. Well, weíre about to find outÖ
6 Packs, Meet 0 Packs
The show begins with a replay of the last few minutes from the week before. Alex, Jason and Mike are all reintroduced. Mike is a model/waiter and says he has no problem meeting girls. Jason is also a model/waiter and has the lofty ambitions of becoming a weatherman. He even has a name picked out; Jason Storm. I wish Tareq was still here so they could compare life ambitions. Finally we meet Alex, the lesser of the hotties, as Zach might say. Alex is a vet technician and admits his looks has opened doors for him.
Meanwhile, the original guys are not taking the news well. Already feeling invisible, John decides to sleep as much as he can, Adam puts himself on a strict diet and exercise regime, effective immediately, and Zach puts on a bandana. The bandana ensures that the other guys donít notice Zach is balding; apparently his only weakness. Hey Zach, just because they are good looking doesnít mean theyíre dumb. Zach tells Adam and John that no matter what, heís loyal to them. Iím sure thatís a real comfort to John.
Meanwhile, Zach heads out to greet the new guys. He thinks Mike looks like Joe Millionaire on crack. Maybe so, Zach, but he looks better than you doÖ even with that bandana. Zach wastes no time getting to know the new guys. He admits he thinks they are easily manipulated. He brings the new guys up to speed and lets them know heís kissed Melana. He tells them that Brad claims to have kissed her too, but makes no mention of Adam, or Johnís legendary kiss. Later, the new guys admit that they canít stand Zach and Alex goes so far as to call Zach insecure. Someone needs to brush up on their manipulation skills.
Melana assesses the situation and believes that the new guys will have a tough time of it because she has a connection with each of the remaining guys. She considers the original three guys serious competition.
Donít Feel Bad Enough Yet?
The new guys face off against the originals in pick-up basketball. The winners get to dine with Melana while the losers have to serve and clean up. Itís shirts versus skins. Since Melana has already seen the originals shirtless, she asks the new guys to disrobe. Sheís obviously impressed while John, Adam and even Zach are obviously depressed. Quickly into the game, Adam becomes disgusted with Melana, since sheís not making proper calls. Give her a break Adam, when is the last time youíve seen a ref make good calls, much less a ref in a crop top? Adam pulls Melana aside, explains some rules to her and essentially lectures her. He quickly remembers the incident with Tareq on the golf course and regrets taking an attitude.
Like usual, Melana picks a favourite and admits she wants the new guys to win so she can get to know them. The game is tied at 10 and the originals are not about to give up. Adam is about 2 minutes away from a heart attack, but determined to win. The originals go up by 2 and John quickly scores another 2 points, his only 2 points of the game, for the win. Melana says sheís proud of John.
John, Zach and Adam gather before the date where Zach and Adam immediately goof on the hot guys. John points out that they are more arrogant than anyone. Iíd say heís correct. As promised, the new guys serve dinner and clean up. To add insult to injury, they have to wear chef hats. Perhaps Zach should try one to see if it hides his baldness. Zach takes the high road and tells Melana he thinks the new guys are all great guys. This impresses Melana, and Iím becoming more and more convinced this girl couldnít see through a window. Adam suggests John sing for them and John excitedly does so, insisting that Melana really wanted him to. Hmmm, that clip must have been left on the cutting room floor. Adam immaturely laughs throughout Johnís performance. The new guys are looking better and better.
Somethings Are Better Left Unsaid
Zach, Alex and Mike head out for their group date with Melana in the woods. Each of the guys get a bit of private time with Melana until she decides who sheíd like to take out for a private date. Alex tells Melana heís looking for a girl thatís into God, and thinks that Melana is his type. Melana tells Mike that he looks like Evan, from Joe Millionaire. He says he gets that a lot. Yeah, but do you get that you look like Joe Millionaire on crack a lot? On Zachís one on one time, Melana tells him that sheís sick of hearing about what a jerk he is. Zach says that despite what Brad said, heís a good guy. He explains that heís a defensive guy, but since meeting her heís let down his walls and vows to do better. Melana says she believes him, but warns him to watch his Ps & Qs. What? Did Melana turn 80 all of a sudden?
Melana selects Alex for a private date because she finds him fascinating and wants to hear more about his childhood in South America. Zach and Mike are visibly annoyed. Zach tries to downplay his disappointment and says that while she may be physically attracted to Alex, Melana is both physically and mentally attracted to him. God help the woman that is mentally attracted to Zach.
Back at the house, Zach admits to the other guys that Melana asked him about being a jerk. Gotta give Zach credit, he could have pulled a Brad and told everyone that all they did was kiss. Once again, someone points out how much Mike looks Joe Millionaire, much to Mikeís dismay. (Can you blame him?) Adam says not only is Mike better looking than Evan, heís smarter too. Atta boy, Adam.
Alex and Melanaís date starts off well and Alex scores points when he says grace. Things take a turn for the worse when Alex talks about his ex that was cheating on him. He tells her about waiting on her doorstep for 6 hours. And her problems with drugs and prison. The red flags bring the date to a screeching halt and Melana cuts it short. Alex returns to the bachelor house oblivious and tells the others that whoever ends up with Melana is a lucky guy. All Zach wants to know is if Alex took off his shirt.
They Know How to Play Polo?
The second group heads out for a game of Polo. Melana greets each of the guys before the game begins and says sheís excited to learn more about Jason. When she gets her big chance, they start talking about white jeans. Times like this makes me long for Tareq and the broccoli conversations. Adam tells Melana he misses her and hopes to hold her in his arms again. Melanaís caught off guard and says an ďOh, Adam!Ē which sounds less touching than it was meant to be. John tells Melana he feels neglected, but all he needs is a wink or a smile. Melana does him one better with a kiss on the cheek. As expected, this energizes him so much heís almost floating off the horse.
Adam and Jason are paired up against John and Melana. Jason scores way more than Adam and John do, which is Iím sure, the story of their lives. Melana decides to choose Jason for the one on one date and very courteously decides to fill in the other two. John gives her a rose he had kept in his pocket during the game and tells her how much the kiss on the cheek meant to him. Melana gently explains that a pretty face and a 6 pack donít translate into a connection, but she has to give Jason a chance. John is already convinced that Jason is not the man for her. John reminds Melana of their date from 2 weeks ago and tells her that he feels a bit neglected. When Melana meets Adam, she apologizes for her reaction earlier, but explains that he caught her off guard. She lets Adam know that of all the dates, theirs was the most real. Adam is touched and while he doesnít really like Jason, he doesnít think Melana will be intimate with him. Based on the 90 or some odd previews of Melana shoving her tongue down Jasonís throat, Iím gonna wager that heís wrong.
Melana and Jason head out on a gondola ride and the date starts out on a pleasant tone, asking innocent, getting to know you type questions. Then Melana asks Jason if he just likes girls. Jason is a bit thrown, but answers yes. She later explains that heís so gorgeous that heís the kind of guy people of all genders are attracted to. Later the two return to her house where they are impressed with how attractive they both are. Good to see Melanaís going for that deeper connection and silencing her critics that think sheís completely shallow. Melana gives Jason a good-bye kiss, which leads to about 10 more. Melana is shocked by how good a kisser he is and explains that she thought sheís had the perfect kiss, but Jason is just awesome and continues to babble. Seriously, she sounds like John. Jason arrives back to the bachelor house around 2:30 am. This does not go unnoticed by anyone, especially Adam, who has gone through about 3 packs of Tums by now.
Pick Me! Pick Me!
The next day, they all assemble for a day in the pool. Alex tries to befriend John and tries to give him suggestions on how to improve his appearance. John is having none of it and insists heís fine the way he is. Adamís insecurity is at a peak as he insists his own mother would root against him at this point. Adam notes that Melana didnít look his way once the whole day unless one of the hot guys was behind him and called her name. Zach pours on the charm and tells her that heís happiest when heís with her. Privately, he admits he feels pretty confident since he knows she wanted to take him on the date instead of Alex. Sure she did. John feels confident and is sure that Melana will remember their magical date from 2 weeks ago when making her decision. He gives her a music book with the song he sang to her in it. He hopes he has another chance to sing to her. Well John, Iím not sure if thatís a selling point, but stick with what you know, I guess.
Kathy makes her only appearance in the game so far and pulls a RoboChris. She consults with Melana, who explains that itís a difficult situation since she has strong feelings for more than one guy. Mercifully, Kathy does not join Melana downstairs to uselessly point out when there is only one person left to be eliminated.
The first person eliminated is Alex. Melana explains that she felt he shared too much. Alex is devastated and is reduced to tears. Next eliminated is John. She accurately explains that they are not on the same level and felt stronger for the other 4 guys. Thatís pretty cold. Mike has been there about 3 days and hasnít had a private date with her yet. John gives her a rock from their first date as he says goodbye. John is crushed and admits that he truly believed she was the one for him. Like Dennis before him, Iím sure John will have no problem finding women out there. Letís hope he doesnít get too enthusiastic about every kiss from here on out.
Next week: The guys meet Melanaís fat Ďcousiní.
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