So far on ‘Average Joe’, Melana has met and spent time with sixteen completely normal, run of the mill, ordinary men. Among these common everyday men are Tareq, your typical twenty-one year old college professor on the verge of attaining a doctorate, and Dennis L., a plain old hula hoop toting thirty-five year old virgin. Over the course of six weeks – or three episodes – Melana has narrowed the group down to three guys: Adam, John, and Zach.
The Average Joes discuss their feelings in private interviews.
“Melana’s a great girl,” a jovial Adam says as he wolfs down a large pizza, a bag of chips, and a box of Twinkies, “We seem to have a good connection. And she has a great ass.”
“I’m in love,” John swoons, “I’ve only spent a total of six minutes with her and know nothing about her beyond her physical beauty, but I love her. And I haven’t washed my lips at all since she kissed me.”
“She’s okay,” Zach shrugs disinterestedly, chain-popping tic-tacs, “But I hate being the only decent guy in this group of hopeless geeks. I’m so far above the others, it’s pathetic.”
“These guys are so . . .um . . . unique,” Melana gushes to the camera, “I didn’t think it was possible, but I definitely have feelings for these three guys. Sometimes the feeling is friendship, sometimes it’s mild attraction, and sometimes it’s hellacious nausea. ”
Before Melana gets the chance to use the standard reality TV dating show key words – connection and journey, Kathy Griffin barges into the room.
“Hello, losers,” she sneers as she paces in front of the guys, “Have you heard the expression ‘nice guys finish last’? Well, they do. Behind those doors is a twist that will change this entire game and determine whether Melana is a genuine person searching for love or a shallow witch.”
On cue, the doors open and three seemingly far above-Average Joes enter and introduce themselves as Michael, Jason, and Alex, a Chippendale’s dancer, an Armani runway model, and a Mr. America finalist.
“Oh my! Wow!” Melana shrieks with glee while Adam, John, and Zach hang their heads in defeat.
“Okay, geeks,” Kathy says to the conventional, common fellows, “Meet your new competition!”
The Average Joes react in private interviews.
“This sucks!” Adam proclaims level-headedly, munching on a dozen chalupas and box of Lucky Charms, “But we’ll see what happens.”
“What am I going to do?” wails John, adjusting his thick-rimmed glasses, “I love her! We are meant to be together! This isn’t fair!”
“I’m still confident about my chances,” Zach says, unable to hide the fear in his eyes, “Those guys don’t worry me at all.”
Melana reveals, “This is so awesome! Finally I get to party with some hot guys! Oops, I mean – um . . . This is such a shock. I didn’t expect this at all. I hoped for it, but I didn’t expect it!”
With the entire game on the brink of changing forever, the evening has come to an end, but not before we get a glimpse of what lies ahead . . .
“This is so hard!” Melana whines in the previews as she primps in front of the mirror. She applies a few layers of makeup and adjusts her push-up bra. “It’s tearing me apart inside!”
Will Melana’s bond with the alleged geeks be strong enough to thwart the advances of the hunky new players? Will Zach consult a dentist regarding his bad breath? Will loose cannon Tareq return to exact his revenge? Will Kathy Griffin be able to effectively insult the new pretty boys? Will Melana be able to avoid being labeled as superficial by convincingly pretending she’s still interested in the original guys? Will there be more disappointing shocking twists? Find out on the next episode of ‘Average Joe’.