Sour grapes syndrome

[overthetop]

Well, there you have it, folks. I guess when you are new to the forum nobody replies. Too bad, so sad. Your loss.

Kind of cool how there's sour grapes on the show AND in the thread, eh?

I totally agree about rejecting many of the Average Joes. I grew up in the Boston area and I've met quite a few guys that Dennis L reminded me of. For him especially, but for quite a few of the Average Joes, it's the same story--In the first minute after meeting him, you know that this guy is an incredible sweetheart, but there's absolutely no attraction for him at all. And then you're stuck wondering if you're shallow. I think that Melana was in a bad spot with some of the guys.

[AJane]

and if you found a big guy with a winning personality there is no reason that you can't still have your salad while he has his cheeseburger and fries.

My hubby exactly

[melpepinla]

JiffyBear Welcome and don't feel too bad about people not responding. It happens to all of us one time or another!

I, too, was laughing when the Joes kicked off were bad mouthing Melana. I think that the comments were mostly a knee-jerk reaction to being booted. But then again, some of the men who made these "sour grape" comments were the ones who "fell in love" with Melana after only speaking with her for a few minutes at the most.

[palmer62]

Jiffy Bear. You are right, the guys do have sour grape syndrome. I think they should be happy that she booted them. Now they can spend the rest of the lives trying to recover what ever dignity that they possibly can.

[KaiCee]

My hubby exactly

I'm shallow, I guess. I passed on bigger guys and married an average guy. Guess what? Twelve years later - he is on the obese side. Serves my shallow heart right, huh?

I've never been in Melena's league looks-wise. I never dated anyone model gorgeous. I have no idea if she is shallow or will pick looks over personality (I'm rootin' for Adam though!!)....But isn't everyone just a little bit shallow? The average Joes are shallow. I mean, come on...how many of them "fell in love" or "began to have strong feelings" for Melena? Does anyone think that their attraction is based totally on her personality or inteligence...and not her looks?

[Six Degrees]

Melana uses the word 'chemistry' as often as The Bachelor crowd uses the words 'journey' and 'amazing' and 'connection.' She's dead-on accurate there. It is all about chemistry which can happen between men and women of all sizes. Who hasn't every found themselves attracted to somebody they 'never thought was their type.'

That being said, if the chemistry isn't there, it isn't there. It does not make you shallow if you can't be attracted to somebody. John and Tareq were both thin, she just wasn't romantically interested in them.

I recently dated a guy who was quite overweight, around 5'9 and over 200 pounds. We had amazing chemistry and got along really well. I was over the moon until I found out he was unreliable, a pathological liar and was seeing other women. That behaviour had nothing to do with his size, it was just how he was. Once I stopped liking him due to his behaviour, then I started thinking his weight was unattractive. Looks followed personality.

[glittergerl]

[QUOTE=Looks followed personality.[/QUOTE]

I totally agree... Remember in Paradise Hotel when Dave joined the group! He went from a dog, to handsome...then back to an ugly dog, back to handsome when Charla wouldn't give him any money! HA, looks totally follow the persons perception of the other.

[mbcrowder]

Anyone think that maybe she let all the heavy guys go because they had no personality at all? (Or, the one that did had a negative personality - "Wow, if I could buy a girl from a catalog, it'd be her" - what an ass.) PS - Adam is not exactly small... and he's doing just fine. In fact, I expect he'll win.

[Miss Filangi]

Well, there you have it, folks. I guess when you are new to the forum nobody replies. Too bad, so sad. Your loss.

We're all ignoring you. (I haven't been to this forum for a couple days, so I missed the thread the first time around)

Actually, I completely agree.

The classiest exits are the people that can walk away recognizing that they don't want anyone that doesn't want them. Poor Alex last night was blubbering like it was the end of the world. He's a cute guy, good personality, sometimes it's something like sharing your past history that does it. Not everyone is going to connect and often it has nothing to do with who you are.

[Six Degrees]

It's also possible the heavier guys had rotten attitudes about their weight and it was the attitude she didn't care for. A heavier guy that likes himself and lets his personality and sense of humor shine is more appealing than a heavy guy that mopes around complaining that a woman is shallow if she doesn't look past his size.

We've all seen plus sized women that exude confidence and charm and have men chasing them, and thin women with surly demeanors and rotten attitudes that guys may go out with once or twice and then kick to the curb because they think their looks cover any personality defects.

If you care about a person, they become attractive to you. If you dislike somebody, they become unattractive.