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07-27-2005, 03:28 PM
| #1 |
 Wonky snarkmistress  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Playing kickball for the beer Age: 33
Posts: 8,862
| 7/26 recap: A Complete Account of the Tahiti Trip, Abridged I’m back! Much thanks to Shazz for covering last week’s show so splendidly. I’d love to start out with extensive vacation stories, but there’s no time! We’ve got another one of these puppies coming up in mere hours, so I’ve got to slam this out so you can all be caught up by the time the finale comes on tonight. What’s that thing staring me in the face? It’s a deadline. *eek* In that spirit, I’m giving you a rundown of the penultimate episode’s action, “Reduced Shakespeare Company” style. Because hey, less is more. Act I: Anna: We’re going to Tahiti. The guys: Woot! Limo driver: But first we’re stopping at this fountain. Everyone: Huh? Anna: Hark, what’s that I see through this water fountain? Four eliminated, made-over Joes: Yo, babe. You don’t recognize us because we’ve changed. Anna: Really? Two of you look just the same. Nathan: Not me. Anna: Then you get to come to Tahiti. Now that you’re hot I like you, even if I didn’t before. Nathan: Ok, that’s not shallow at all. Men in limo: Damn. Act II: Everyone: Oooh, Tahiti. Anna: Line up, boys, it’s date time. Rocky: I’m a dreamer. And a model. Anna: I’m not. I have goals. And right now my goal is to stick my tongue down your throat. Average Josh: I love you. Thank you. Anna: Gratitude isn’t sexy. Get me off this pedestal. Wait, let me kiss you first. Hunk Josh: I love you. Here’s some coral. Anna: That’s sweet. Wanna see my tonsils? Arthur: I love you. I can love again! Don’t mind that bee sting, you’re not allergic, are you? No, no one as lovely as you, and as perfect as I’m sure you are even though I’ve barely gotten to know you, could be allergic. Anna: Good for you. Can we sit silently for a few minutes? And stop crying. Nathan: I’d like to kiss you, but despite my new-found confidence, I’m just going to stare at you awkwardly. Anna: You’re pretty smart. But are you going to stare at me awkwardly all night? Because I haven’t been kissed in two whole hours and I’m jonesing, man. Act III: Anna: Time for three of you boys to go. Men: Duh. Anna: You can see how hard this is by the tear in my eye. But I don’t want to be worshipped and thanked and adored. I want a partner. Average Josh, Hunk Josh and Arthur, buh-bye. Rocky’s a good kisser and Nathan writes me letters so they can stay. Average Josh: That sucks, but I’ll be ok. Hunk Josh: *sob* I can’t go on! Arthur: My darling, it’s cool. I can love again! And, curtain. *curtsies* Be sure to tune in tonight for the finale (which will then be recapped in regular style, fear not.) If brevity’s not the soul of wit, keep it to yourself. lucy@fansofrealitytv.com
__________________ It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins |
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07-27-2005, 03:41 PM
| #2 | |
 eternal optimist  Join Date: May 2003 Location: greener pastures Age: 38
Posts: 3,039
| Quote:
 OMG this was the best idea EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fantastic! I love this version!! HOly cow pies! Fantastic! And so freakin' hilarious!  MY SIDES! *holds sides* Now I must utter a statement that has never been more sincere: I could have quoted the whole thing! Sooooo TRUE! This is how I feel right now: -->  *insert giggling and snorting*Be afraid: we might all want to use this format from now on.  You are witty, hilarious, and as delightful as ever. Much love! 
__________________ "If you're like me, you have a 'been there, done that' attitude when it comes to paleolithic paleontology." - Jon Stewart "I swear, you are the ho-ho ho." - OTS | |
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07-27-2005, 03:52 PM
| #3 |
| RESIDENT JEDI MASTER  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: On a Rocky Mountain High Age: 34
Posts: 11,852
|  I echo Shazzer's sentiments exactly. Never in the history of FORT has someone captured the very essence of an episode in so few words. Brilliantly hysterical, Lucy. 
__________________ "Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter."- Yoda "I'll just see where Providence takes me and try to look like I got there confidently." - Craig Ferguson |
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07-27-2005, 03:59 PM
| #4 |
| Pineapple!  Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Changing my name to Pistol Tanker
Posts: 2,522
| That was HILARIOUSLY accurate!!!! |
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07-27-2005, 04:28 PM
| #7 |
| Too cold to run away!  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Texuhs
Posts: 1,257
| That was great Lucy!   |
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07-27-2005, 07:00 PM
| #8 | |
| Countin' Words  Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Drinking another gallon of coffee
Posts: 2,285
| Quote:
Who knew a mini-cap could be so entertaining? + 
__________________ "'Oh, I say, poor show…. These chaps are in fact allowed to use their hands, are they not? Because you certainly could not tell by watching them.'" - The Onion on the Buccaneers' 35-7 loss to the Patriots at London's Wembley Stadium | |
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07-27-2005, 07:44 PM
| #9 |
| FORT Fanatic Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 525
| Beautifully done, Lucy. You captured the essence of the entire show. |
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I love the abbreviated format. Now if only the SHOW were so direct and interesting 
