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Thread: ANTM8 Ep. 4 Recap: Ty’ll Take You to the Candy Shop

  1. #11
    FORT Fanatic catwoman1955's Avatar
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    ...Tyra gives Jaslene some styling tips: fluff up the hair, lose the chandeliers dangling from her head. “So much earrings…you just can’t help yourself!” Her Dulce De Leche picture is some sexy caramel (although if Janice was her, she’d be mentioning something about how she looks like an amputee in the leg area), Twiggy says the camera loves her, Nigel says she looks the most comfortable in front of the camera. The panel, however, thinks she doesn’t stand out in person as a model. Oh my God, the judges drive me crazy when they pull this amnesiac act. “But back at home I’m real Cha Cha,” Jaslene protests. Tyra says, “Culture is beautiful.” Yeah, free to be you and me, right Tyra! Except if you’re Danielle and talk like you’re from the country, then culture needs to be eradicated!
    Snowy,

    You are right on point, here. When Ty-Ty and Company pull that crap, it drives me up a wall! Jaslene not standing out in person? Please... But, I digress. Love your commentary about the "Secret Black People" That's hilarious to me, as a black person.

    As always, a great recap, girl. I can miss an episode, read your review and stay up to speed. Great job!

    Cat

  2. #12
    REMAIN INDOORS MotherSister's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl;2282168;
    Care for a slice of life? How would you like your recap served, sugarcoated or straight up? It’s a piece of cake!

    Yo, dawg, fa shizzle! Is she also a secret black person like Jael, Wentworth Miller, or Michael Jackson?

    She feels that just because she’s in a competition, it doesn’t mean she can no longer be herself and be nice to people. Bless your little heart, you don’t watch much reality television, do you, Cassandra?

    [overly-enthusiastic Oprah voice] MAAAAKE-OVERRRRRS! [audience screams and foams at mouth]

    Easy, breezy, barfing…CoverGirl!

    “The walls in a house full of women are paper-thin.” Confucious say!

    The photographer Joseph Cultice will shoot the girls, who head back to get styled—er, garnished?

    Natasha’s portraying Gumballs. Jay thinks it’s looking rather “burlesque.” Maybe it’s the Dita Von Teese cup she’s posing in?

    Nice Girls Finish Tenth

    “too much…shingshingshingaling,” says Miss J. That’s rich coming from the guy in the room with more ruffles going on than Elizabeth the First.

    Tyra says exactly what Jay was trying to get her to do in the shoot, suck the belly in/stick the booty out (Words to live by—that’s my new bumper sticker!)

    Tyra says, “Culture is beautiful.” Yeah, free to be you and me, right Tyra! Except if you’re Danielle and talk like you’re from the country, then culture needs to be eradicated!

    Don’t give up Cassandra, until your personality shines through on film, because if you had a picture one tenth as beautiful as your soul, it would definitely be a winner.
    Another fan-freaking-tastic recap, Snowy! Wonderful as always.

  3. #13
    Tyra, shut up. StarbucksLover's Avatar
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    Great recap, SnowflakeGirl. I love your way with words.

  4. #14
    Big Electric Cat jasmar's Avatar
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    I'm about 15 years past being any form of in-the-know… what the heck is gluing tracks to someones head?

    Another superbly funny recap, SFG. I stopped watching the show two or three cycles ago, but I still live for recap day!
    Token Christian.

    If truth is relative, how do you know?

  5. #15
    *~A.J.~*~Jael~* The Last Soul's Avatar
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    Hilarious as always. Although, I think Jael said, "Brittany takes the most amazing photos I have ever seen be taken. I think Brittany's awesome. And they're all jealous." Not "We're all jealous."

    That's just what it sounded like to me. But I suppose it doesn't matter.
    "It's a little sick and twisted, which is kind of like me." - A.J., America's Next Top Model
    "Oh yeah, I have a nerdy moment in my life everyday." - Jael, America's Next Top Model
    "You are NOT allowed to enter me, but you may hang out with us now through this token from your past." - Adrianne, Celebrity Paranormal Project

  6. #16
    From the corner of my eye Jewelsy's Avatar
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    Excellent recap, Snowylicious.

  7. #17
    CCL
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    Climbing Solsbury Hill CCL's Avatar
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    Snowy, I give your review two lollilops up! Even if it does mean I'll be singing that silly 50 Cent song for the rest of the day!
    If you type "google" into google you can break the internet.

  8. #18
    FORT Newbie mtommy33's Avatar
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    Snowy, you are fantastic. I was reading this on the train and cracking up, people were looking at me as if I had gone off the deep end. I think I have gone coocoo for Snowy's recaps. Keep up the good work. Snowy are you a "Secret Black Person?" Or is it your "hook on Ebonics" that is working for you....
    Tommy

  9. #19
    Endlessly ShrinkingViolet's Avatar
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    Fabulous recap, Snowy. As always, too much to quote:

    The two plus-sized models sit commiserating together, while the PA’s for the show look on, nervous they’ll break the expensive rented patio furniture. Just kidding!

    Bless your little heart, you don’t watch much reality television, do you, Cassandra?

    The Devil Wears Curlers

    Speak of the devil, Tyra comes padding into the room in ratty house slippers, pajamas, and a head-full of jumbo curlers, looking cranky as hell. Now that’s what I’m looking like at 6:30 am.

    I mean, she really nails it, but I guess after 8 seasons—er, cycles!—of ANTM, she’s had plenty of time to prepare for this, her Emmy moment.

    Press pause on your remote just after this and watch out for the look on the red-headed stylist’s face that says “I would rather stuff live Moray eels slowly into my ears than have to hear any more of this girl complaining.”

    . . . the look in her eyes says: Waaah waaah waaah, why is Jaslene given the hot hair cut? I know I could rock that better if they gave it to meee…It isn’t fair! Waaah!

    Whitney says that Brittany cries so much, she just wants to “smack her and say ‘Girl I will give you something to cry about.” Whoa, Whitney just channeled my Grandma right there!

    Make Up In The Garden of Good and Evil

    Speaking of racks, hers is bustin’ out of the dress she eventually dons!

    Still, whoa, Natasha looks like she got a makeover from China Blue, high class prosti from Crimes of Passion.

    But you do care, Renee, otherwise you wouldn’t be bitching so much about it. All. The dayum. TIME!

    Sweet and Sour

    Confucious say!

    Diana and Renee are smoking like chimneys and emitting foulness—and I’m not just talking secondhand smoke.

    Really? I thought that was what Photoshop was for!

    Jay thinks it’s looking rather “burlesque.” Maybe it’s the Dita Von Teese cup she’s posing in?

    Nice Girls Finish Tenth

    That’s rich coming from the guy in the room with more ruffles going on than Elizabeth the First.

    Wait, don’t tell me now Brittany is a Secret Black Person too!

    Even my satellite hates her, so the audio drops out for part of her eval, but I’m able to catch that they want Renee to mess up her hair and make it edgier.

    Renee nods like a good girl, but her inner child must be clawing at the walls.

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