Originally Posted by
SnowflakeGirl 
Guess Who’s Coming to Breakfast
Megan and Michelle (Or is it Amanda? No, I’m pretty sure it’s Michelle. Or is it?)
Please tell me that’s hot Mountain Dew I just felt on my leg.
Moan ‘N’ Groanique
Jaeda condemns herself to a fate of Reality TV Irony by declaring loudly, “My hair grows so fast, I don’t care. Shave it.” Remember these words. I say, Remember these words!!!
Salon, and Thanks for all the Weaves
Oh snap! Shoulda gone for the double-double reverse-reverse psychology!
What’s this? Someone’s crying? It must be ten after eight [adjusts Timex].
Amanda says they’re disappointed to have different looks because now they can’t switch and play games with people. Sounds like a pitch for a Disney movie. Amanda’s after picture gives gorgeous glam and smooth sophistication.
(See, reverse-reverse psychology…or is that the reverse-reverse, or the double reverse-reverse triple toe loop?).
A.J. has the nerve to tell Frederic Frickin’ Fekkai, “You have to make it darker,” and “I hate this color.” This is the equivalent of telling Da Vinci his sfumato sucks and his chiaroscuro blows chunks. Ooh, I know she didn’t!!!
Monique won’t cooperate because she doesn’t want her tracks to be seen on national TV. Because pretending to pee on a bed is so much less humiliating.
Brooke gives a perky white girl speech about her idea of a New Young Queen is a “prom queen.” OMG, maybe in 1955, Peggy Sue!
B.I.T.C.H. Phone Home
Mon(ster)ique
She has no one to blame but herself, and perhaps Karma. Sweet, sweet, instant karma.
That’s Monique’s mom encouraging this behavior? Now I see the problem; this bitchness is hereditary. We shouldn’t be mad at them, in fact we should be more sympathetic: it’s clearly a genetic disease making them behave like utter twats.
She’s not there to “make friends” and says they can all “kiss my grits.” Oh I think her housemates would all rather kick her grits to a pulpy mess than kiss them.
Bitter, party of one! Your regular table is ready.
Head Wig and the Angry Wench
Imagine wearing a Swiss Cuckoo clock on your head, or heck, the “It’s a Small World” ride at Disneyland, and you’ve got the right idea.
“because I’m a winner,” she insists. A weiner, more like [snorty laugh].
Last, and least, is Jaeda.
Melrose has a sudden, inexplicable, screaming fit. Is the mansion built atop an ancient burial ground, and she is possessed by angry spirits?
These backhanded compliments almost make me feel bad for Monique. Almost.
Gettin’ wiggy with it! Na na na na na nana…
