OK here's my perfect cycle:
Photoshoot one: Cat-Fight
The girls all get in a REAL catfight, and a bunch of them get killed/injured so badly that they're taken off the show for rehab. The survivors are Robbyne, Tiffany, Jade, Monique, Melrose, Ebony, and Brandy.
Photoshoot two: Beer commercial
Tiffany gets in another barfight, gets eliminated.
Photoshoot three: Covergirl Commercial
Melrose and Ebony are both cut because Melrose doesn't have good lips, and Ebony is just plain fug.
Photoshoot four: Nude shoot on the goldengate bridge with cars going by
Robbyne refuses to do the shoot, gets cut.
And that leaves us with the final three of Brandy, Monique, and Jade!
Brandy is cut first without a photoshoot because she simply isn't crazy enough. Then Monique and Jade duke it out on the catwalk. Sorry, did I say catwalk? I meant Tyra puts them in a ring with machetes, and whoever survives is America's Next Top Model. Anyway, Jade has the better body and has more agility, but Monique is able to slither away real easily. Anyway, Monique wins for some strange reason.
MONIQUE IS AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL WAHAHAHAHAHA