Oh yes, my dear ANTManiacs, tonight’s the night. After nearly three months of the long, slow, torturous, product-placement-packed tease, tonight is the night when it finally happens…[Tears up, then moves in to make out with you.] What? Oh God, I’m so sorry—you’re only here to find out who has been named AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL! Heh heh, well of course, I knew that [discreetly sticks Jayla blow-up doll back in closet].
Homage à Trois
Out of the 13 finalists, only three girls remain. Which of these worthy candidates (and Bre) will win all the fame, the glory, the prizes and come back to haunt us with “My Life as a CoverGirl” spots? There’s Nicole, the baby-faced Chapstick chippy from North Dakota who at first chapped my hide then slowly won my respect; Bre, the “sassy” Earth Mama from Harlem who at first I respected and then slowly came to despise when her Inner Breyatch burst out of her suddenly and unexpectedly, like the Alien creature from John Hurt’s stomach; or Nik, the serenely beautiful Atlanta girl who consistently did well and kept her nose clean the entire competition—but perhaps too clean so as to be perceived as boring?
One thing is for certain, they are all thrilled to be the final three. At the Savoy, Bre and Nicole jump on the beds in excitement (ironic considering how Bre was once ready to kill Nicole over her propensity for bed-jumping). Bre talks about how she has made Top Model history by being in the bottom two four times…and yet, here she is. Not something to brag about, Bre; you’re only calling more attention to the fact that you don’t quite deserve to be there.
Conspicuously not bed jumping, or tub thumping, or even chair humping, is Nik. “The judges think I’m a dud,” Nik frets, as she sits alone, quietly, not laughing or celebrating with the other girls. No, ya think? She realizes she needs to show more personality to Tyra & Co., because history has proven that the quiet and reserved winners have the effect of thorazine on the public (sorry, Naima).
Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely CoverGirl Ad
TyraMail sayeth: “True beauty comes from a solid foundation. Be ready at 6am.” Yeah yeah, we get the point: the girls will be off to hawk yet more makeup. The next morning the girls meet Mr. Jay in the studio, where he asks them, “Do you guys know why you’re here today?” Why do they always insist on talking to these girls as if they have anterograde amnesia after every episode? Do you know why you’re here, do you know what year it is, do you know who’s the president? Mr. Jay relishes his dramatic pause, before screaming loud enough to make the girls piss their pants (where are those adult diapers when you need them), “CoverGirl!!! The coveted CoverGirl contract!” Silly me, how could I forget, what with your drilling it into my brain every week with your sick brainwashing!
Today the girls will do the photoshoot for the all-important image that will become the national CoverGirl ad for the winner of the competition, as well as shoot a commercial for CoverGirl’s latest product, TruBlend Powder Foundation—which Mr. Jay proceeds to talk about at great length, as if he can filibuster us into buying the bloody stuff. FINE, I’ll buy the frickin’ TruBlend, just shut the hell up!!! [SFG screams as she runs to drugstore, ears bleeding]
Jay says, for the shoot today, he thought he’d bring in someone they could relate to: current Top Model Naima Mora. Bre says she’s happy to see Naima there, as she can show them, “that rainbow, because all we see right now is no finish line.” Naima walks out with hair that’s the chocolate-colored version of Mr. Jay’s quiff, and gives an un-memorable pep talk before the girls are dismissed to hair and makeup and given their lines.
Bre and Nik confess they’re nervous. Nik makes sure to study her script diligently, determined to not blow this commercial like she did last time. Nicole is not worried at all, feeling since she did so well the last time, she’ll surely ace it again. Per strict reality TV rules, this can only mean one thing: the very opposite is bound to happen.
Before you know it, it’s time to shoot the commercial, which includes a few iconic British images: a Mini-Cooper, a neon Union Jack, male models dressed as The Beatles who no doubt have uncircumsi—[chunk of recap missing, à la “Lost” Hanso orientation film]—basically, little reminders that we’re still in England. They start with easy takes of them turning around to say “CoverGirl!” and palling around with the Fab…Two? They actually have only two Beatle boys in Sgt. Pepper era wear—is this some sick reference to the fact that only two of the band are still alive? Maybe I’m just sensitive because they are my favorite band.
They move on to part two of the commercial shoot: the close ups of the girls reading their lines. Bre is the first to go, and unfortunately she flubs her lines immediately. Furthermore, as she becomes more frustrated, Bre’s left eye starts to flutter in a way that makes me concerned that she is about to have a stroke. The thing about Bre is whenever she gets flustered, she has a tendency to come off as attitudinal. She entreats Jay and the rest of the crew, “Please let me have a good commercial cuz they gonna send my black ass home.” Jay says, “Okay,” but simpers at her as if he wouldn’t piss on her to put her out if she was on fire.
Nicole is pleased that Bre blew her lines, and is hoping that all of Nik’s practicing means she’ll end up “psyching herself out.” Nik, unexpectedly, delivers her lines (to borrow a word from the TruBlend script) “flawlessly.” The director, Sara Dunlop, kisses her with joy, even Mr. Jay is impressed enough to say, “You go, Miss Genius,” and the whole crew explodes in applause at her job well done.
It was, coincidentally, one of my favorite Beatles who said, “Instant Karma’s gonna get you.” Nicole, who had been trying to put the bad performance mojo on Nik, gets her instant karma served up fast. She can hardly get one line out with out tripping over her tongue. Jay winces as Nicole mangles her lines, and Dunlop groans that it would be nice if Nicole could at least get the first line right. The pressure builds for Nicole, who proceeds to have a complete meltdown. When Jay asks if she’d like to try again, she says, “I’m sorry,” and shakes her head no, because the lights are blinding her. Jay tells her she needs to focus and get through with it. Come on, Nicole, model up! Model the eff up! Even then, Nicole still can’t get it together, and she pouts like a baby. As befits a baby, Jay must hand feed her every line. “I’m gonna have to tell the judges that,” Jay says like an over-zealous hall monitor enjoying his bust far too much. When did he become such a tattletale?
It’s on to the photos. After having done a bang-up job with her commercial, Nik hopes to do just as well with the still shoot. She knows that judges have been on her case for having only one expression, so she’s working her hardest to give them variety.
This being CoverGirl shoot, the epitome of commercial modeling, it’s all about smiles, lots and lots of sunny smiles. Bre has trouble trying to look genuine and unforced the entire time and tries to think of funny things: like pouring Red Bull down the drain, going aggro on your loyal lesbian friend, not bathing due to sheer laziness. Haha heehee.
Nicole knows that she will have to make up for her poor performance earlier,
Good ol’ Jim Deyonker, the photo shoot producer, tells her that when she smiles, she has a tendency to push her tongue up against the front of her teeth in a way that is conspicuous. “That’s just how I smile, so it’s really hard for me to not do that,” Nicole grumbles. Ah ha, she’s one of those tongue-pushing head tilters, like Katie Holmes! At any rate, Nicole is determined to make sure her picture is amazing because she knows that’s the only thing that will save her from elimination.
Jay marvels at how all the girls upended his expectations; he’d thought Nik, being nervous, would do the worst and Nicole, being cocky, would be the best. They took his preconceptions and ended up “flipping it upside down for me,” rubbing it with oil, spanking it, and calling it Daddy. He didn’t say that last part, but, being Mr. Jay, was surely thinking it. “It just goes to show,” he adds, ratcheting up the drama another notch, "You may think you know who's going to be America's Next Top Model, but you really don't."
Cheesy, Bre-zy, Pitiful CoverGirl
Faster than you can say “fromage,” it’s time to ditch one of the final three. The girls reluctantly enter the judging room for one of the last times to stand before the stalwart panel regulars, joined this time by Vanya Strok and Nargess Gharani, the designers whose fashion show the girls will be walking in should they make the final two.
Tyra says they will be judged today on their CoverGirl photo and commercial, and evaluations begin with a screening of their commercial: 30 seconds of bright colors, jump cuts, and perkiness galore. Unlike some of the other projects we’ve seen on ANTM, however, it almost looks like a real commercial! Miss J. claims (in a good way, I think, I can’t tell with him these days) it nearly brought him to tears. Tyra, channeling Nolé Marin, says, “You guys look like a rainbow: chocolate, vanilla, and caramel.” In terms of the commercial, Tyra tells Nik she did “the best by far” and the director mentioned her standing out from the rest.
Evaluation of the photos, which Tyra says will be the first of many national CoverGirl ads for the winner, begin with Bre. Miss J. finds fault in the tense tightness around her mouth. Twiggy finds the picture “pretty” and Tyra agrees, although she says that while Bre’s film was largely pretty, it was not particularly “model-y.” Talk about tenseness around the mouth! After Tyra says that, Bre’s mouth tightens up like a lycra bathing suit on Alec Baldwin. Speaking of things that make you want to cringe, the panel gets to view Bre’s bumbling of her lines from the commercial shoot. Twiggy is disappointed, considering how much she loves Bre’s voice. Nigel says at least her personality came through.
Nik is next. Miss J. finds her photo “brilliant” and says it makes him want to be a CoverGirl. I’m sure it doesn’t take much to do that…[dream sequence bubble] What’s Miss J.’s secret? He pretends he’s got a national CoverGirl girl campaign and poses in his bathroom mirror. Every night. Drunk. [/dream sequence bubble pops] Oh I’m sorry, that’s not Miss J., that’s my secret. Nigel likes that Nik appears to be smiling at them, but Tyra says there wasn’t much to choose from. Nik’s single commercial take is deemed wonderfully fluid by Nigel, who also appreciates that she kept a smile on her face as she delivered her schpiel. Tyra’s one suggestion is that for commercials Nik be more “cheeky,” which does not refer to anyone’s booty, so much as a saucy attitude.
As well as Nik was received, however, when Nicole’s shot is unveiled, you can almost hear a gasp around the world. This is a CoverGirl ad. Twiggy finds it “absolutely gorgeous” and Nigel calls it “stunning.” They move on to the video of her commercial meltdown and Nicole swallows hard. Nicole admits she just forgot her lines and resorted to blaming the lights. Tyra and the guest judgettes point out that learning a few lines is not a lot to ask. You’re not working in a coal mine, damn it! Model up, bitches! Tyra thinks Nicole should take responsibility for simply “choking” under the pressure and not passing off her failure as the result of a challenge being too hard.
There is a quick deliberation, during which the judges agree that while the least modelesque, Bre has the most “pungent” personality of the remaining three. Pungent Bre, is this a play on her name being like the cheese, her dislike for bathing herself, or both? In any case, what an icky descriptive. In a nutshell, the judges appreciate Nik and Nicole’s consistency (if not their personalities), and Bre’s personality (if not her photos) with bonus points for improvement.
Tyra calls the trio back in, and the first name called is Nik. That leaves, yes, the “whine” with the “cheese”—har har. Tyra ponders aloud who will join Nik: the girl who’s been consistent, or the girl who’s shown progress? Tyra finally does the right thing, and shoots the horse that has been limping along on a gammy leg episode after episode. The picture goes to an emotional Nicole. What’s that smell? It’s Bre left for too long in the fridge. Time to throw that old cheese out!
As Nicole goes up to accept the picture that is her golden ticket to the final round, Bre slowly starts to de-evolve before our very eyes. She takes off her high heeled shoes (emphasizing her shortness), she puts on her glasses, her face falls into a scowl, she morphs into a single-celled organism…It’s the confident beauty regressing back into the lowly, insecure nerd, like watching She’s All That in reverse.
As Bre packs up and leaves, the full range of her dementia is displayed by the Muhammad Ali-like speaking of herself in third person. She talks about how “They took this little black girl from Harlem and took her to London to model. She ain’t never been out of the country.” Though disappointed, she remembers Tyra’s stories of all the rejection she faced before she achieved success, so Bre feels she can only go up from here.
Now it’s just Nic & Nik. If they started a group with a third person named Nick, they could be like the Toni, Tony, Toné of the modeling world. Back at the Savoy suite, which surely has never seemed so large, the final two celebrate their final twoness: Nicole, by putting on Groucho Marx novelty glasses (Lisa was right, they do plant things around!) and doing a hoe-down on the coffee table; Nik, by curling up into a ball on the sofa and hugging her arms to herself in a classic defensive posture. Way to show more personality, Nik!
The reserved Nik acknowledges that they’re two very different people; Nicole says, “I’m not afraid to embrace the dork in me.” But hey, if dancing on tables and hopping on beds is Tyra’s idea of “personality” then I wish she’d talk to my grandmother, who would have whipped my hide to a ruby red if it was my ass jumping on her precious furniture.
Either the girls have shrunk, or a larger than normal TyraMail envelope ever has appears on the mantle, or I took Benadryl and am hallucinating again. “You can’t tell a book by its cover. Or can you?” it asks. The next day, the girls meet a sentimental Mr. Jay, who says after all these weeks together he almost feels like crying. For God’s sake, someone forgot to take his Midol. The girls are there to do their shoot for ElleGirl, from which will be selected the winner’s photos that will be featured on magazine stands [bad voice dub]IN FEBRUARY 2006[/bad voice dub].
Brandon Holly, editor-in-chief of ElleGirl, instructs the girls to give it their best because it could be either of them on the cover. Hair and makeup purties the girls up, then it’s off to the set where Tyra awaits them with the famed Gilles Bensimon. At long last we get to see the photographer whose Gallic name is heard rolling off Tyra’s tongue each week. While he’s certainly charming, it’s safe to say Gilles is certainly no competition to Nigel in the hunky photog department. In fact, he looks a bit like Mr. Magoo cross-bred with George Washington and taught English by Pepe LePew.
Tyra tells us Gilles is quite the jokester. Apparently, when he first met a then 17-year-old Baby Ty, he told her, “You are the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen in my life,” but then proceeded to book her the very next day. [slaps knee] Oh ho ho, NICE ONE, Gilles! Those French and their wacky sense of humor. [whispers aside] These are the people who think Jerry Lewis is a comic genius. Check off French stereotype number 1!
As Nicole poses with Tyra (who must be standing on an apple box, because she is towering over Nicole), playfully tells them, “No kissing each other please,” and strokes Nicole’s face as he coaches her on how to give him the right expression, as if she were some kind of trained pet, then later holds her face in his hands after saying, “I’m going to touch the winner now.” Mind where you’re touching the winner, now, Humbert Humbert! Gilles gives off the air of a dirty old Frenchman who ‘thanks Heaven for little girls’ as it were—French stereotype deux!
Nik is thrown off her game by Gilles’ reference to Nicole being the winner. "It’s like ‘Hello, am I still here?’" she recalls. Gilles doesn’t seem to have to coach Nik as much, praising her throughout the shoot, and at the end comes over to pet her creepily and coo, “She’s a good girl, she’s a winner. She’s a winner.” Or in that French accent, a “win-AIR!”[/gargly phlegmy R]
After he’s done with both girls [shudder at that last phrase] Gilles goes to Tyra and asks, seemingly ingenuously, “I’m the one that makes the decision?” Bearing in mind what Tyra said earlier about Gilles’ propensity for joking, I do believe he’s been taking the piss out of both the girls—or as we say in America, yanking their pud chains or busting their figurative balls. That would be French stereotype trois: the taunting Frenchman! I wait breathlessly for him to fart in their general direction. Now go away, girls, before he taunts you a second time!
There is but one task left for the girls to perform, and it is the main event of every cycle: the head-to-head runway competition. Or, in Zoolander terminology, they are settling things the model way—with a walk-off. Our girls will not be walking alone, of course, and in addition to the usual coterie of real, working models (i.e. 12-year-old meth addicts from Romania), they will also be sharing the catwalk with former ANTM winners, Eva Porkford and Naima Snore-a.
Jay welcomes the girls to the site of the runway show, showing them the stage and explaining that as they walk, images of them recited lines of Shakespeare will be projected on a Jumbotron screen. Oh I get it, because Shakespeare’s, like, English, you know? [gives you vapid stare] “To get the super sci-fi walk,” Jay announces, “We had to get our Miss Thing…” And out comes a hooded Miss J. and her long stems to demonstrate the fast, wide-stride “stomp” they want for the show.
A rapid fire montage shows the frenzy behind the scenes, as the girls get gussied up, the runway is set, and the guests (including Nigel and Twiggy, of course) arrive and get seated. In the meantime, the former golden girls Naima and Eva give their contractually obligated pep talks. Naima advises them to transform their nervousness into “something powerful.” Like what, a gorilla or, ooh, a Liger? Eva’s message is more imperative, reminding them that it’s “your last chance” and they must command the audience’s attention. Nik looks she’s calculating the chances of her winning in her head, and as she stares at Eva and Naima, she’s probably going, “Oh damn, it’s gonna be the white girl.”
In their Bride of Frankenstein hair and makeup, the girls meet with Tyra (sporting a cute, retro-40s style coif) for some one-on-one’s, during which the girls are contractually obligated to cry. Why Tyra decided to have the crying bits after the girls went through hair and makeup is anyone’s guess. I hope that makeup is waterproof, and it’s probably not CoverGirl otherwise we’d have heard all about it from Jay by now.
“I’ve never felt so blessed and so proud of myself ever,” an emotional Nik croaks out, thanking Tyra for the opportunity, adding, “I am America’s Next Top Model, I can just feel it in my heart.” When Nicole sits down with Tyra, TyTy gets talk show on her ass, reminding Nicole about something she said in casting long ago: that she always felt second best to her sister. “I just feel like I have something of my own now…that I can be proud of,” Nicole says, before choking up on her own emotions as she talks about how badly she wants this win. “This is my passion, this is what I want to do,” Nicole says, sounding sincere.
The girls line up, the lights blaze on, the music pumps, and the show begins. Naima comes out first, and we get the first taste of the projections Jay was talking about—a disorienting, Videodromish acid trip that manages to be both creepy and pretentious at the same time. Crisis has struck backstage, however; Nicole puts on her first outfit (a backless gown) to find she has a long, red mark beneath her shoulder blade to the middle of her back that they need to cover up pronto. Where the heck did that mark come from? I think this may confirm what I’ve suspected all along—that Mistress TyTy flogs them for every mistake they make. Who’s been a naughty girl? That’s 30 lashes for forgetting your CoverGirl lines, Nicole! Muah hahaha!
Of course, Nicole makes it out just in time for her first pass, and glory be, she is no longer the whiny, ramen-ignorant, little girl that we first met in Los Angeles. By gum, somehow during the course of this competition, this bitch turned into a real model. As she strides on the runway, there’s a new side of Nicole, one that possesses more maturity and confidence than ever before. Tyra is pleased enough to scream out that she looks “fierce.” Nicole describes the adrenaline rush one gets on the runway, “It feels like you’re the center of the world.”
Next, it’s Nik’s turn. She looks beautiful and sexy in a flowing floral frock and waist cincher her first pass. Tyra calls out something I don’t quite catch (perhaps “You look good,” but it is something positive), as Nik puts her all into making this her moment. Though her stride is somewhat on the bouncy side, Nik is the kind of gorgeous you can’t help but stare at every second she’s onscreen. As Nik heads backstage for her change, a few other models and Eva come out. Now I am genuinely fond of Eva Diva, but she is looking incredibly swollen, and for her walk on the catwalk, dressed in a fur hoody, she looks like a bipedal sea otter that’s retaining water.
Nicole comes out again in a black top, red belt and skirt. Conscious of the fact that panel always describes her as “sweet and innocent” she deliberately works to convey something different, her “wild side,” as it were. Nicole is definitely giving edgy and sophisticated; utterly transforming herself almost beyond recognition. Nik is instantly recognizable, for her golden glow is unmistakeable. Her second outfit is a bright, opalescent blouse and skirt, also with waist cincher, but that golden Nik essence just radiates from her every pore.
Final pass. Nicole (pantsuit) says she’s been trying to bring something different to every pass she makes, and Nik (pink dress) says it just a blessing to be here, and would be an even bigger blessing to win. Backstage, Mr. Jay is there to congratulate them for completing their final challenge. He tells Nicole that he hasn’t seen her so confident this entire competition. “You were servin’ it!” he squeals to Nik. Nik feels confident in way she never has before; Nicole says that while she knows “Nik’s awesome” she feels this competition is hers. They hug in relief, knowing that now with the final challenge completed only time will tell who wins it all.
I Predict the Winner’s Name Will Begin with an “N”!
Nik and Nicole float into the judging room in their elegant Gharani-Strok gowns to meet their panel one last time. Tyra (also in Gharani-Strok) and the panel, Twiggy, Miss J., and Nigel, are all dressed to the nines for this important occasion, in particular Miss J. with her corsage nearly reduced to a boutonniere. Tyra says both of them have done an amazing job in the competition, but of course there can only be one AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL. Theoretically, Tyra, couldn’t you as the creator fudge your own rules and name two people for once? Maybe have a legion of Top Models to do your will, like a beautiful little army? Tyra reiterates the prize package: modeling contract with Ford, a spread in Elle, a cover on ElleGirl, plus of course the $100,000 CoverGirl contract.
They evaluate the girls’ runway performances beginning with Nicole. Nigel exclaims that he was “floored” by Nicole, while Miss J. remains critical of her lack of control with her hands and tendency to slouch. Twiggy almost didn’t recognize her, expecting the sweet romantic Nicole—Twiggy says she was blown away by Nicole’s strong strut. Tyra says she was a proud mama, but would have liked to see her look more “pissed.”
Nik is next, and chiiild, the makeup artist done beat her nose with contour like she was in the new “Jazzing for Blue Jean” video, but still she looks great. Unfortunately, the entire panel unanimously agrees that her “bouncy” stride was “a bad walk,” in Miss J.’s words. Tyra felt the jiggliness of Nik’s lady lumps detracted from the strong, high fashion sensibility required on this runway, but Tyra’s got some kind of nerve talking about “jiggly” after her final walk in the Victoria’s Secret show. I guess there isn’t always room for J-E-L-L-O, though Tyra admits it reminds her of her “era” when models had a “signature walk.”
Next, they evaluate Nik and Nic’s portfolios side-by-side. Superhero: advantage Nik; Country Couture: both nailed it; Fashion Victims: advantage Nik again; Pinup Girls: both did well; Vaseline Snaps: Nik’s eyes convey savage beauty, while Nicole’s gaze is haunting; Wild Boyz: Nik’s is strong, but Nigel likes the cinematic quality to Nicole’s; Bollywood: Nik and Nicole both stood out from the crowd. Lastly, the all-important CoverGirl advert; Tyra says that they both manage to be commercial yet modelesque, the perfect combo for the cosmetics company.
The girls are allowed some final words before deliberation. Nicole says that she is just grateful to be here
and she sleeps with a night light!, and she feels she has grown to be something bigger than she ever knew she could be. Hello watershed; the dam breaks and the tears start flowing for both the girls. Nik only says, “It’s really scary and I’ll be happy no matter what happens.”
Our girls file out, leaving the judges to do their thing. Tyra finds these girls are almost equally matched, meaning it should be a tough deliberation. Nigel believes that from the very first day Nik took beautiful photos. Miss J. makes an impassioned speech about how “wonderful” Nik is, and how she models from her head to her toes. Twiggy, unfortunately, finds her “too bouncy.”
Of Nicole, Twiggy says simply, “She’s a model,” and Nigel appreciates all the improvements she’s made throughout the competition. Miss J. is concerned “she might crack under fashion pressure,” but Twiggy thinks she’ll be able to cope with it. In turn, Twiggy thinks Nik’s “gentle soul” might actually have a tougher time.
Tyra thinks that Nik’s face in every picture is “similar” but still “fierce”— Blue Steel? Ferrari? La Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? Miss J. isn’t that impressed with Nik’s body, but Tyra defends it as “sick!” Nigel thinks Nicole’s chameleon-like quality is what makes her a true model. Twiggy says, “They’re both very, very special.”
Tyra calls the girls out for the final verdict. She says that while the judges think both of them did outstanding jobs, there is one that they feel can “take what AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL means and share that not just with America, but the world.” Because it’s not enough for us to police the world politically and post-colonial imperialistically, but we must also try to dominate fashion fascistically! Team Model America, **** yeah! Comin’ again to save the mother****ing day, yeah!
Nicole already starts sobbing before Tyra’s uttered a word, Nicole is dry-eyed but her mouth is downturned with tense anticipation. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL, Tyra says, sliding the 8X10 out for all to see, is Nicole. Nicole screams in excitement as Nik looks on silently. Miss J. tosses a flower out, while Tyra goes to give Nik a consoling hug. Nik is too stunned to say much in parting, other than, “It hasn’t sunk in yet that I’m not that girl.”
That girl is neither Nik, nor Marlo Thomas; it’s Nicole, who says of herself that she was “the girl who never really got that much attention, and now I’m a CoverGirl!” Nicole says that throughout the competition she’s grown, not just as a model, but as a person, and it really does show. Thus another cycle of AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL comes to a close, and this time, not with bang or a whimper, but with a whine. But this whine has definitely improved with age.
Ta much to all of you for sharing another Cycle of ANTM with me, your silly chum who chatters away while the telly’s on. Cheers, sweetie, we must keep in touch: snowflakegirl@fansofrealitytv. com.