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Thread: ANTM5 Ep. 5 Recap: The Cheese That Beat the Big Girl

  1. #11
    Cynical Optimist ThehappyCynic's Avatar
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    Jul 2005
    Amazing recap! Hilarious as ever.

  2. #12
    FORT Fan Stellaluna's Avatar
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    Aug 2003
    Great recap!

  3. #13
    Toby's Slave kimrs's Avatar
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    May 2005
    Great recap! I especially love that this was a "mathematical" episode (so says the Geometry teacher)

  4. #14
    Flawless Beauty My ANTM kema's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
    New Jersey
    you hit the nail on the head about all the girls especially Diane and Lisa

  5. #15
    Water Nymph coftia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    over here!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    The straight male viewers gasp, Our fantasies have at long last been confirmed! That’s right, boys, it’s what all women do when we’re alone. We’re not sitting in sweat pants, eating straight out of the ice cream carton, and talking about the stupid things you do at all—we’re half-dressed and giggling, engaged in semi-erotic pillow fights, spanking one another with purple velvet cat o’nine tails and recording it all on camera for you. [Breathy whisper:] Call me now...Oops! Sorry, got confused and thought this was my other job, heh heh!

    “Why would I follow the advice of someone I’m competing with?” Smart cookie. Eat one. Then go sit on your ass and watch reruns of “Dead Like Me” on DVD. (For more on the SFG Workout, please contact 1-800-PIE-LUVR to learn more about the high carb diet/“PIE BO” exercise sensation that’s sweeping the nation.)

    I’m sure Diane, not to mention anyone in the general population over the size of 2, is thinking, “Yeah thanks, you skinny little hag.”

    May I mention, for a moment, that Kyle has been sitting quite close to Kim all day sporting a tight t-shirt with odd pixellation spots around what are likely her [looks around nervously, then whispers] nipples. Coryn is giving you Linda Hamilton/Terminatrix masculine muscularity in her first shot, then a girly ‘ohmigodlikenoway’ flirty-mall-rat head tilt in the next. Photographer Jay decides to give today’s prize to No-Neck Kyle, who picks Kim and Coryn to join her in hot lesbian three-way action (we all hope). Coryn says it was nice for the three of them to have quality time together, since they are the three left who get along the best: Yup, that’s the woman who looks like a man, the woman with the man’s name, and the actual out-and-out lesbian. Anyone here surprised by that?
    "this love is unbreakable..."

  6. #16
    FORT Fanatic MissT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    ... Twigster reassures her that’s not a problem, adding “the camera sees deep…right into your soul.” Is that from a fortune cookie? It’s one of those things that sounds very profound, and yet doesn’t really answer the question at all.
    LOL!!! Too funny!

  7. #17
    My Hero il2az7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    At the Kissing Booth
    I'm so signing up for PIE/BO!!!

    Love the recap, as always!! Have fun on vacation! You will be missed!

    And tonight she's going to scream your name from the highest rooftop
    Because for the first time in her life, she's not afraid to fall in love

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    Lisa asks who wants to see her “secret bag,” which sadly does not contain pixie dust, flying fairies, and magical rainbows; instead, it turns out to be a gigantic stash of vices aplenty: cigarettes, booze, and God knows what all else, perhaps crack, smack, a hacksaw, a bunny rabbit, a rope of knotted handkerchiefs, a jar of Crisco—everything you need to have a good time.

    Anyhooch, this explains why Lisa is such a bitch with a capital “C.”

    For your advantage, it would be better if you just ate and didn’t work out.” Funny, that has been my daily regimen for years and, unbelievably, I have not yet gotten a Vogue cover—What gives?

    Is Tyra going to chop them to bits, and use all their best features to create the ultimate FrankenModel?!!

    Lisa is excited, thinking Janice is the sort of supermodel that she most resembles. If by that she means they both share a constant blood-alcohol level of 0.38 and an unchecked tongue, then yes, they are quite alike.

    Nigel remarks, “I always think models make the best photographers,” and then we are treated (and when I say that, I really mean, it’s a treat—schwing!) to drool-inducing shots of Nigel back in the day when was a model o’ magnificent man meat himself.

    there’s “chat rooms dedicated to the ‘I Hate Bre’ fan club,” or people on message boards start scrutinizing and criticizing your every—hmm, yeah that would suck [looks guilty]. (GXG: HAHA I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF FORT!!!!)
    Awesome job once again!

  9. #19
    CCL is offline
    Climbing Solsbury Hill CCL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Here and there
    Um, I called 1-800-Pie-Luvr and it said the number was not in service?

    Great recap, Snowy! I'm going to miss you (almost as much as I miss my German porn. )

    Have a fantastic vacation/marriage renewal ceremony. I toast you & Mr Snowy & wish you both years of happiness.

    (Okay, that's not really a picture of me, but you get the idea. )
    Before we begin, what are the parameters of the guessing game? How many guesses do I get? Is there a time limit?

  10. #20
    E is for Ernest SisterGracieLou's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Thanks, Snowy. You are kind to have left us such a wonderful parting gift before leaving on vacation. So many funny references! "Daddy Drank" is one of my favorite KITH skits. HEHEHEHE

    (if we are allowed to link to outside sites I recommend a view) NSFW

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