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Thread: ANTM4 Ep.4 Recap: The Floundering Fish Who Almost Foundered

  1. #31
    Plotting spegs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    In the land of endless sunshine
    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    Plus, my prediction that an ANTM model will have crustacean parts at the end of her limbs comes true!!! Move over, Miss Cleo! Get bent, Dionne! In yo punkass face, Nostrodamus!

    “Crazy Girl” (coincidentally also the name of a fine topless establishment in Hollywood)

    See girls? Your Mama was right, all that makeup does make you look slutty [SFG licks finger and wipes eyeliner off your face in motherly gesture].

    This guy might look like someone’s grandpa, but make no mistake: HE…CAN…SERVE.

    In short: he hits because he cares, and strangely, the girls don’t seem to mind (Hello Kinky!).

    [SFG runs in slow motion à la bad action picture, hand outstretched, with a low cry of “Nooooo!”]

    I’m thinking thank God I don’t have Smell-o-Vision™.

    Well, TyraMail authors aside, nooo, no it is not okay to physically abuse someone simply because they’ve annoyed you.


    What the hell is that, TyraMail author’s little sister?

    With Michelle, I’m guessing…um, zero? Oh, just keeeding, you dear, little Sapphic spitfire (see you at Girl Bar).

    Or be the 12 Apostles and recreate the Last Supper (Tyra, naturally, would be Christ)—but nooo no one ever listens to my ideas.

    She did look good out there, but damn it, now I’m hungry.

    Call me now, at 1-900-555-SNOW, for all your psychic needs!
    !!! Snowy, every week you stun me with your genius! I always think "it can't get better than this!" and then it does. You rock !!
    Last edited by hepcat; 04-04-2005 at 12:13 PM.
    "Look, you love me, and I love you. Maybe in a different time, a different place, this would work out. But we both know that only one of us is leaving this room alive, and I'm the one holding the flame thrower." - Film Fakers

  2. #32
    Christian,Mom,Teacher mom2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Where the wind comes sweeping down the plain
    As always, awesome recap, SFG.

    And I shared a tear of joy at the end as well.
    "Being famous does not make you a hero." Zeus in Hercules

  3. #33
    FORT Fanatic SARA_MODEL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Vancouver, B.C. Canada...
    Once again, and amazing recap for the 4th episode by Snowflakegirl! SFG, you never disappoint us readers, and the humor is absolutely great!

    I really enjoyed reading this one particularly Brandy being Eliminated! Finally My prediction came true

    What a huge relief, she kind of reminds me of Ebony from season 1, with the huge temper and other similarities, doesn't it?

  4. #34
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Anticipating roses and broken hearts
    I have no idea how I have lived so long without watching ANTM or reading you recaps, Snowy. I caught my first show Friday night, and I was hooked immediately. The whole time I was watching, I was wondering if Snowy was the writer, and indeed you are. I loved it.

    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

  5. #35
    Devil Woman CourtneyLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Here. In My Head
    SnowFlake, I knew I loved you last season, and I'm glad you haven't let me down yet. I KNEW you would quote the two best lines of the show, Brandy's " if we didn't get kicked off for fighting, Yo' ass'd be to'e up right about now" and Tiffany's "All y'all bitches evil!" because you totally get what's great about the show. Once again, an amazing recap!!
    "Man is Elyse [top model] ever thin. Makes me want to go to the gym. Right after I eat my sandwich." - Giz
    "Every time you don’t buy CoverGirl cosmetics, Jesus cries" - SnowflakeGirl
    "And I'm also tired of people saying "OMG I'LL NEVER WATCH AGAIINNN". Come on now. ANTM is cocaine and you are the lindsay lohans who crave it" - queenegoist

  6. #36
    Anyhooters, with twelve girls, it is the perfect time to do the twelve signs of the Zodiac! Or be the 12 Apostles and recreate the Last Supper (Tyra, naturally, would be Christ)—but nooo no one ever listens to my ideas.
    Okay sorry, but thats the best line ever! That just provided the funniest visual. Great idea, you have my support. Hilarious recap, I was laughing the whole way through!

  7. #37
    Bloomin' FoRT Fanatic! ness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    SFG . . .

    Just finished reading your recap.

    As usual, my howls and screams (of laughter) were misinterpreted by my neighbors.

    I am writing this "Thank You!" after having been to my front door (aGAIN) to explain to the cop someone called that no, my husband is NOT in here bitchslapping me, but I've just finished yet another SnowflakeGirl ANTM recap!

    (BTW, the cop was really understanding . . . He simply shook his head, then requested I plaster my mouth with duct tape BEFORE reading your upcoming recap, as they get a little tired of coming by here to make sure no one's being murdered!)

    I am anxiously awaiting your next recap with duct tape in hand!


    "In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, broccoli, zits, ozone depletion, racism, sexism, stupid guys and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day?" - Unknown
    Spring 2016 FoRT Yearbook Title: "Most Likely to Make a Short Story Long, and a Long Story LONGER!"

  8. #38
    FORT Newbie
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Hilarious, and oh so true.
    Thanks again, SFG.

  9. #39
    Miss Universe HelenHandbasket's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Ack! What happened to this site? I'm just glad it's up again in time for the next recap. It was stressful couple of days for me, let me tell ya.

  10. #40
    Picture Perfect SnowflakeGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    In the Limelight

    Attention ANTManiacs

    It has been brought to my attention that a term I have used in my recap may be considered offensive or inappropriate to some. I hadn’t realized it at the time I used it because in the area where I live, the lesbian community has reclaimed and been proudly using this term publicly for years. Still, because it may be a loaded moniker, I have chosen to change it to the more playful “Sapphic Spitfire” in order to be sensitive to the feelings of certain readers.

    As many of you have already read the recap, I did also feel it important to post this message in order to clarify that I did not mean the term I used in any negative or derogatory manner at all, especially as I have strived to be an advocate for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender rights my entire life. In fact, I did try to balance the sentence out by saying "See you at Girl Bar" which is meant to be a wink to the reader that I am speaking in jest. (But it could also be taken as a real directive. Hey, I actually have been to Girl Bar and this is the best lesbian club in L.A.; Michelle should go there! )

    Perhaps because it is my modus operandi to make a lot of irreverent and off-color jokes (my Grandma, God rest her soul, would slap me for imagining models posing in the Last Supper the day before Good Friday!), I didn't recognize what I said to be out of line with the rest of my humor. Nevertheless, I do hope no one has been offended and people realize that by my remark, I was no more judging or making assumptions about Michelle’s actual sexuality than I am seriously alleging that in real life Brandy is an evil McBitchnugget, or Rebecca a bum-killer (although, in this case, lock your cardboard box tonight--you never know).

    Thanks for your time, and much love to EVERYONE,
    Sending good vibes and warm fuzzies your way..., SnowflakeGirl
    All New AMERICA'S TOP MODEL Recaps! Premiere Pt. 1 & Pt. 2, Ep. 3, Ep. 4, Dinah's Dynamite Ep. 5, Ep. 6, Ep. 7, Ep. 8, Ep. 9, Ep. 10, Ep. 11, Finale
    Relive every beautiful moment of America's Next Top Model...Click here for links to prior season recaps & interviews.

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