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Thread: ANTM3 Ep. 12 Recap: The CoverGirl Who Became America’s Next Top Model

  1. #31
    FORT Fox likeafox's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    I burst out laughing at the description of Jay looking like the high priest of queer. You always do a great job SFG. I'm going to miss the show and the recaps.

  2. #32
    Nevermind Lotuslander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Lotusland of course
    I wish the show itself was half as funny as your re-caps.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Thanks, Snowy, for another great season of hilarious and wonderful recaps! As many others have already stated, you are incredibly talented, so big props to you!

  4. #34
    What's The 411? Fanatic277's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    “On the twelfth week of America’s Next Top Model, Miss Tyra gave to me: 12 weeks of drama, 11 weeks of crying, 10 weeks of fighting, 9 weeks of bitching, 8 million spots for 7 million products, 6 umeboshi, 5 scary clown shoots, 4 girls in a hot tub, a 3-way Pink Triangle, 2 former strippers and a finale to announce the winner!”

    Anyhooker, back to our three remaining contenders,

    They replay last week’s heart-rending cold-shoulder from Ann (including Eva’s quiet, final plea to her “Banana”—this is why it’s not wise to rely on fruit for companionship, things are always bound to go bad),

    How about we call a moratorium on models who want to act in movies or appear on TV, hmmm? [pause] Yuhum, I didn’t think so. That’s right, I’m talkin’ to you, Miss Coyote Ugly and Bad Ass Biker Girls!!! Oopsy, that last movie actually features Tyra Spanks—my bad! [carefully places BABG lovingly back in personal video collection]

    This is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen Amanda, and I’m blown away by her 500 watt smile, of which she says, “I was really trying to utilize my inner joy…my appreciation for bunny rabbits and France.” <--Actual quote!!! Honeychild, whatever you’ve been on these past few weeks, I want a hit, because it sounds like some feelgood shiznit.

    Yaya comes out looking lovely in lavender and tries hard to smile and look sweet, by “reciting poetry or seeing little ways in which my education’s keeping me posi—“ Oh shut up, Yaya, we get it, you’re smart and beautiful. However, “smart, beautiful” is Maybelline’s motto, and won’t win you any favor here.

    Amanda (or “Japanda” as Janice calls her—have these two been hanging out, smoking in the back or what? Smoking, um…life, kids. JUST SAY NO!)

    Tyra then mimes taking off glasses and tucking them away (methinks someone wants to add another slash—model/actress/reality tv producer/talk show host/mime?).

    Tyra likes her bone structure and everyone agrees that she looks “really sweet” and “approachable” (i.e. not your normal, uppity, bitchy self). In pondering what was behind her smile, Yaya claims to have been thinking about how much she loves her brother (in a regular sibling kind of way, or an Angelina Jolie kind of way?).

    Yaya manages to squeeze in one more reference to her Ivy League education by saying she has the same butterflies in her stomach that she felt when she “walked across the stage and got [her] diploma.” Alright already, we know you’re a bloody genius!

    Jay greets them in a long black gown that makes him look like the high priest of queer,

    That’ll Do Pigford, That’ll Do

    Congratulations, Eva Diva, on becoming the third winner of America’s Next Top Model. Now, join with me everybody, just one last time: [dancing] In yo tall bitches face! Uh huh!
    As always, fantastic recap Snowy. I love your humor and the show wouldn't be the same without your hilarious and entertaining recaps!

  5. #35
    Come Along, Pond phat32's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Hi, Olivia!
    Outstanding writing, SfG. (Pssst...I confess that part of why I read your recaps--along with the obvious: they're fun--is because I'm inspired by your exceptional writing ability.)
    "...Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but...the bad things don’t always spoil the good things." - The Doctor

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