If selected, I promise to give America's Next Top Model
all rights to surgically alter my face, body, and personality. If I am not already a bisexual, I am willing to become one for the duration of the show.
While in the house, I promise to spread false and malicious rumours about the other egocentric, hyper-competitive b*****s who don't have an ounce of my unique talent, unbelievably great looks or humility.
I pledge to relentlessly suck up to Tyra Banks, even pretending to be impressed and to enjoy myself when subjected to one of her pathetic, meaningless, mind-numbing, nearly seizure-inducing rap songs.
I also pledge to shamelessly kiss the wrinkled ass of Janice Dickinson, even pretending to be in awe of her beauty and career, despite the fact that she's a washed-up, plastic-surgery-addicted, skanky old hag.
[sign here]: _______________________