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Thread: ANTM3 Ep. 8 Recap: The Spider Who Shagged Eva vs. The Hat That Smelled Like Dookie

  1. #31
    Endlessly ShrinkingViolet's Avatar
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    Is it beauty, charisma, the ability to command attention wherever you go? Or is it, in fact, a battery of stylists and publicity parasites that pump prefab personages out of a fame factory like generic little hot dogs of celebrity?
    This pretty much set the tone for this show, and you summed it up quite nicely. Excellent recap, Snowy. Your intellect far surpasses YaYa's, without your having to scream it from every rooftop! I love how you plow through all the superficiality of these people, yet are still able to maintain the human vulnerability of these same people.

  2. #32
    Nevermind Lotuslander's Avatar
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    Precision accuracy, Snowy. Your scalpel has never been sharper. Bravo!

  3. #33
    Picture Perfect SnowflakeGirl's Avatar
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    Thanks everybody, I do so enjoy hearing from you. Imagine me perusing your comments on my laptop in bed, in sumptuous, silky nightwear like Tyra (reality: flannel Paul Frank monkey pajamas).

    Quote Originally Posted by -ANTM-
    I hate blogs, but do you have one?! I can't help but think it would be hilarious.
    Are you sure you can stand me more than once a week?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chorita KaBoom
    (Note to those planning a trip to the N.Y. area, Century 21 is a must. $600.00 Versace shirt - $50.00, Gucci pants - $20.00, it's a REAL designer close-out store, makes Ross look like Walmart).
    Good Lord, when are we going?!! *straps on convenient hip holster for easy access to credit cards*
    Sending good vibes and warm fuzzies your way..., SnowflakeGirl
    All New AMERICA'S TOP MODEL Recaps! Premiere Pt. 1 & Pt. 2, Ep. 3, Ep. 4, Dinah's Dynamite Ep. 5, Ep. 6, Ep. 7, Ep. 8, Ep. 9, Ep. 10, Ep. 11, Finale
    Relive every beautiful moment of America's Next Top Model...Click here for links to prior season recaps & interviews.

  4. #34
    Cy Young 2010 Mariner's Avatar
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    Snowy,
    This is the first time I've ventured into the ANTM forum. Kudos on a great recap! I loved the whole thing.

  5. #35
    Come Along, Pond phat32's Avatar
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    SnowflakeGirl, this was a recap of beauty (no pun intended). Your attention to detail and your ability to spin funny from any and all situations is, frankly, incredible. You set the bar--and it's high--for the rest of us.

    Some of my favorites:


    slow-mo flashback to our avatars strolling on a sunlit beach, ogling pixellated bodies in hot tubs and pouring beer on each others' weaves

    and the disdainful tone of her voice indicates that this place is atop a gigantic pedestal high enough in rarefied air that one cannot detect that one's own fecal matter stinks.

    Rebecca roots through Yaya's closet like a pig on the hunt for truffles.

    Eva's clothes "don't say much"--what the hell, woman, do you want those pants to get on stage and deliver Hamlet's bloody monologue to you?

    I am convinced this man is the devil

    it's Tyra, who plunks herself down at the table and proceeds to eat off of everybody else's plates. Talk about a producer who keeps a tight rein on the budget

    taking a milk bath is luxury, having the cast of "Manhunt" massage me with oils and fan me with palm fronds is luxury--listening to people insult my physical appearance and tell me I don't belong week after week after week? Let's call it a "unique opportunity.

    Norelle, everyone knows the first rule about Fame Club, is you do not talk about Fame Club! The second rule of Fame Club? You DO NOT talk about Fame Club!

    Conspiracy theorists--talk amongst yourselves.

    "maybe it is a wall, with nine blocks that spell out 'competition'." But...nine blocks would only spell..."c-o-m-p-e-t-i-t-i"? Is "COMPETITI" a new word Yaya will print on a shirt to wear,

    Ah, with reality TV there is always a catch

    adding a "Hello, MacFly" for good measure. Well hello, MacFly to you, lady!

    A GIGANIMOUS TARANTULA MAKING LOVE TO A HUMAN EYE [shudder--wait, is this a German porno again?

    Rebecca Weinbeeyotch, my favorite Emmy-winning stylist [eye twitch]

    I guess it's true that even cowgirls get the the blues,
    "...Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things donít always soften the bad things, but...the bad things donít always spoil the good things." - The Doctor

  6. #36
    What's The 411? Fanatic277's Avatar
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    Another hilarious recap. I'm with Speedy, I'm a Snowie recap addict too!
    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    [slow-mo flashback to our avatars strolling on a sunlit beach, ogling pixellated bodies in hot tubs and pouring beer on each others' weaves]

    As everyone gathers for dinner, Yaya contemplates the fact that she feels she comes from "a different place" than everyone else in the house; and the disdainful tone of her voice indicates that this place is atop a gigantic pedestal high enough in rarefied air that one cannot detect that one's own fecal matter stinks.

    Just Be Yourself, Except Wear What We Tell You and Say What We Say

    Rebecca says the trick is to take cheap things and give them a twist to make them look like more than they are. Oh I see, it's a game of opposites; that must be why Weinbitch is wearing what I imagine are very expensive clothes, yet on her they look like garbage. See, for a woman whose job it is to make people look good, especially one who's won an Emmy (as she is quick to inform us), Rebecca looks surprisingly bad. I mean she looks swap-meet clearance bad, has a lame "R" tattoo on her shoulder, and acts like a total cooz.

    Eva's clothes "don't say much"--what the hell, woman, do you want those pants to get on stage and deliver Hamlet's bloody monologue to you?

    After the whirlwind of image-making and soul-sucking, Weinbitch and the sleazy publicists say their goodbyes. Old sleazy publicist guy leaves clapping and yelling, "Make millions, make millions!" I am convinced this man is the devil.

    Guess who's coming for dinner? Sidney Poitier? No, silly, it's Tyra, who plunks herself down at the table and proceeds to eat off of everybody else's plates. Talk about a producer who keeps a tight rein on the budget--Tyra, just buy your own damn dinner.

    Their little smooch session must have made Ann more comfortable with Norelle, because Ann stares intensely at Norelle as she's speaking, and even fixes the little label sticking from the back of Norelle's shirt. Mayhaps Ann has a new crush? (I'm a believer in the small, but significant gesture).

    Tyra tells them it is a "luxury" for them to be able to hear the criticism they might normally get behind their backs. I don't know if I'd call it a luxury--taking a milk bath is luxury, having the cast of "Manhunt" massage me with oils and fan me with palm fronds is luxury--listening to people insult my physical appearance and tell me I don't belong week after week after week? Let's call it a "unique opportunity."

    The girls are whisked away to Century 21, a department store where they are greeted by Rebecca Weinberg, with her stupid two-toned hair, stupid fishing tackle earrings, stupid sofa upholstery blouse and stupid unflattering big ass knickers. Century 21, we're told, is a great store where you can get "big designers for ridiculously cheap." Honey, hide my AMEX.

    She is met at the end by Sarah Pyper, a reporter from US Weekly magazine, who administers a test of questions you might get on the carpet, from "What are you wearing?" (and no, not in the obscene phone call sense--Eva's in Valentino, by the way)

    Norelle admits she feels Yaya "has a wall built up" around her. Yaya answers, dramatically, "maybe it is a wall, with nine blocks that spell out 'competition'." But...nine blocks would only spell..."c-o-m-p-e-t-i-t-i"? Is "COMPETITI" a new word Yaya will print on a shirt to wear, like "RESPEITO"?

    Meanwhile, Ann gives Eva a hard time for "flipping out like a child," adding a "Hello, MacFly" for good measure. Well hello, MacFly to you, lady! Who was it bawling like a baby and crying for her "Mama" on the plane to Jamaica?

    Back in hair and makeup, Eva has begun to cry, not aided by remarks like Jay saying, "Let's just hope that spider doesn't think those lashes are his partner." There's a comforting thought--A GIGANIMOUS TARANTULA MAKING LOVE TO A HUMAN EYE [shudder--wait, is this a German porno again?]!

    Ann registers surprise that "hard ass" Eva is crying so much about a spider. Again, did she develop amnesia after the flight to Jamaica or does she not realize what a spectacle she made of herself on the plane? I guess Ann doesn't have to be so nice to Eva now that she's hot for Norelle.

    Nigel says, "You need to install your personality chip back into you." Toccara just says, "Okay." Did the sleazy publicity guys succeed in sucking out her soul entirely?

    Have I been replaced by an alien pod person this week? How would you know? How would I know? How do I know you're not a pod person? Maybe we're all pod people! I just don't know anymore!!! Sorry, much betta now. Email me at: snowflakegirl@fansofrealitytv. com
    As always, excellent recap, you never fail to deliver!

    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    Thanks everybody, I do so enjoy hearing from you. Imagine me perusing your comments on my laptop in bed, in sumptuous, silky nightwear like Tyra (reality: flannel Paul Frank monkey pajamas).
    I'm assuming that unlike Tyra, you prefer to be in your bedroom without camera's filming your every move?
    Last edited by Fanatic277; 11-14-2004 at 02:51 PM.

  7. #37
    Stunning Darling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    Thanks everybody, I do so enjoy hearing from you. Imagine me perusing your comments on my laptop in bed, in sumptuous, silky nightwear like Tyra (reality: flannel Paul Frank monkey pajamas).


    Are you sure you can stand me more than once a week?


    Good Lord, when are we going?!! *straps on convenient hip holster for easy access to credit cards*

    HOLY POOP!!!

    Gret Recap SFG!
    I used to have a handle on life... but then it broke off.

  8. #38
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    Fantastic recap Snow!
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by charstar813
    OMG, Snowy

    I don't watch the show, but your recaps are mandatory. Hilarious!
    Actually, I prefere the recaps to watching the show too.

  10. #40
    FORT Fogey did_it_again's Avatar
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    Great recap Snowflake!!

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