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Thread: ANTM3 Ep. 1 Recap: The Stank Ho Who Poured Beer on My Weave

  1. #11
    FORT Fogey DjDeluxay's Avatar
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    haha that sex comment about Norelle is useless. But the rest i love applaud.

  2. #12
    Bloomin' FoRT Fanatic! ness's Avatar
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    I saw the show . . .

    But there was NO WAY I was gonna pass up an SFG recap!

    Bravo!

    "In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, broccoli, zits, ozone depletion, racism, sexism, stupid guys and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day?" - Unknown

  3. #13
    FORT Fan HughFire's Avatar
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    Amazing as always SFG - you had me rolling in the floor.

  4. #14
    Nik.Nicole.Bre.Lisa bhanson's Avatar
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    Wow after 15 minutes Im done!

    That was amazingly hilairious !!! You are an excellent, humourous write, SFG

  5. #15
    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    Oh SnowflakeGirl, it wouldn't be America's Next Top Model without your recaps! Your writing is full of meaty details while still being chock full of laughs. I can't believe you kept all the names straight, much less were able to weave it into an enjoyable, witty read. Here's the deal about quoting: I could aim my mouse randomly and whatever I picked up would be hilarious. Here goes:

    Quote Originally Posted by SnowSweetie
    something like this, I will never get out of there. I don't want to be a Pocatello girl that gets knocked up and stays there." Ack! This message not brought to you by the Pocatello Tourism Board.
    I rest my case! You are a . <--- rockstar
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  6. #16
    What's The 411? Fanatic277's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    ANTM veterans are used to this: the obligatory barrage of Tyra beauty shots which serve the same purpose as a dog pissing all over the area rug in your living room.

    Of her profession, Cassie says that "I try to keep it classy" and clients always come in asking her, "Why don't you model?" Poor Cassie. That is what every horny guy tells every naive stripper from Podunk, usually in hopes of parlaying it into a "private" lingerie photo session.

    Mr. and Mrs. J. each express surprise at how "Disney" and "Breck Girl" she looks doing her walk--not like a stripper at all. Methinks it helped that there was no pole in the room.

    We learn that she was kicked out of her high school for fighting, so I hereby withdraw any snarky comments I might have made about the Tiff lest she track me down to administer a beat-down.

    Jay asks if Norelle ever played model as a little girl, and Norelle answers by saying that she played "Paris Hilton." So that means, what, while her peers were pretending to work the runway, she pretended to be videotaping herself having sex with other people's partners?

    Nicole, 21, from Minot, ND says she can't drink or else she becomes a ho that throws herself on anything with a pulse--well, that's the gist of it. So ladies and gentleman, remember her face at the bar--it's a sure thing.

    Amanda decides that it is time for her to come out, so to speak, to the rest of the girls. Some girls look excited, probably thinking, "Man, I totally thought it was Kristi who was the M to F, TS." But no, that's not the revelation.
    As always, excellent recap SFG, I could've quoted the whole thing. Like Hepcat said, ANTM isn't the same without your recaps, I'm glad they're back!

  7. #17
    {Nik - Kim for ANTM5} FairytaleDREAMS's Avatar
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    Seriously, those recaps are sooo much better than the ones on the UPN website!

    Thank you!

  8. #18
    FORT Fogey DevilTwin's Avatar
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    Excellent recap.

    As for me, I'm voting Republican.

  9. #19
    Anti All Things CoverGirl
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    Y'know, if I wasn't an ANTM veteran, I would not have realized just how much manipulation happens during the editing process. I would have thought, for example, that the girls flew in on day 1, had the first cut on day 2, and the second cut on day 3. I would have thought that they ran those girls through the panel like parts on an assembly line.

    By my reckoning, the girls were in L.A. 3, maybe even 4 days before the first cut. I'd be willing to bet that the judges spent at least 30 - 45 minutes with each girl. Probably more, since I know it took Kristi a few minutes to suit up in her USO tour costume. (Yeah, like the producers didn't tell her to bring it with her.) Plus, they had to keep each girl talking long enough to catch her saying something stupid, funny, embarrassing, or waaaay too personal.

    Cassie did not launch right into the stripper thing two seconds after walking into the room. Kristi didn't walk in and launch into a soliloquy about her long blonde hair. That was editing. I don't for a minute buy the cheesey "shocked" reaction shots we saw every time Jay mentioned the upcoming eliminations. That was bad editing. I don't believe every single girl ran into the judging room and started b!tching about Eva. And I especially don't think Wednesday, or whatever her name is, really walked out on Tyra mid-sentence.

  10. #20
    FORT Fogey DjDeluxay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lifeisastory
    Y'know, if I wasn't an ANTM veteran, I would not have realized just how much manipulation happens during the editing process. I would have thought, for example, that the girls flew in on day 1, had the first cut on day 2, and the second cut on day 3. I would have thought that they ran those girls through the panel like parts on an assembly line.

    By my reckoning, the girls were in L.A. 3, maybe even 4 days before the first cut. I'd be willing to bet that the judges spent at least 30 - 45 minutes with each girl. Probably more, since I know it took Kristi a few minutes to suit up in her USO tour costume. (Yeah, like the producers didn't tell her to bring it with her.) Plus, they had to keep each girl talking long enough to catch her saying something stupid, funny, embarrassing, or waaaay too personal.

    Cassie did not launch right into the stripper thing two seconds after walking into the room. Kristi didn't walk in and launch into a soliloquy about her long blonde hair. That was editing. I don't for a minute buy the cheesey "shocked" reaction shots we saw every time Jay mentioned the upcoming eliminations. That was bad editing. I don't believe every single girl ran into the judging room and started b!tching about Eva. And I especially don't think Wednesday, or whatever her name is, really walked out on Tyra mid-sentence.


    Yeah, but one thing i found funny was when the girl changed into bathing suits or prom dresses, they just walked in and walked out then their turn was over.
    So, they did not know how well they did.
    And like they focus on them "walking off stage"
    I wanted them to tell the girls how well/bad they did and stuff.
    But yeah, they spent quite some time with each girl like they always do.

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