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Thread: Teaser Breakdown (for those who haven’t seen them all)

  1. #1

    Teaser Breakdown (for those who haven’t seen them all)

    This week, I discovered that if you set the vcr on UPN and let it record from about 7:45 to 9:00 (basically the ANTM time slot) you have a 99.99% chance of catching the previews. So that's what I did, and I think I've got them all.

    Teaser #1 – Length: 2 minutes
    Voiceover: “Last spring, millions watched as Yoanna House became America’s Next Top Model. Wednesday, September 22nd”
    Tyra: The hottest show on television is back.
    Voiceover: Meet Nicole…
    Nicole: I have a different perspective. I have a different opinion. I have a different look
    Voiceover: Cassie…
    Cassie: I think I have have the self confidence and determination that a lot of girls don’t
    Voiceover: Norelle…
    Norelle: I’m not the girl who’s going to be out there seeking drama. I’m not the girl out there ready to stick my claws in some other girls back. I’m here for me.
    Voiceover: YaYa…
    Ya Ya: I come from a very afrocentric family. That has shaped my beliefs and I demand respect. I’m not here for drama, so please don’t start any.
    Voiceover: Amanda…
    Amanda: I’ve really got a unique look, considering that my eyes are something that you don’t see every day
    Voiceover: Eva…
    Eva: I’m humble … while very confident. I’m very just – free. I’m different
    Voiceover: Jennipher…
    Jennipher: My worst asset? I really don’t know. I don’t think I have one
    Voiceover: Julie…
    Julie: I wanna become a model to represent my family, to represent my culture, and to represent myself. I don’t know, you gotta watch out for me, cuz I’m here for me.
    Voiceover: Kristi…
    Kristi: I’m pretty spiritual. I was raised really Christian. I have a lot of family that might be pretty disappointed if I end up naked on tv.
    Voiceover: Magdalena…
    Magdalena: I think it’s quite possible for me to lose my temper while living with 13 other girls
    Voiceover: Leah…
    Leah: I’m just going to be 100% true to myself and uh…you know…take every…um…challenge they give me and stay positive and focus on it, not get involved in too much drama
    Voiceover: Toccara…
    Toccara: Girls, watch out, cuz big is in. Get ready. Get ready America.
    Voiceover: Ann…
    Ann: I don’t get along with people that have attitude and are stuck up. My biggest drawback would be that I talk way too much.
    Voiceover: Kelle…
    Kelle: I know I’m steep competition and you can guarantee I’m gonna give it everything. So good luck, , cuz. You’ll definitely need it.
    Tyra: Only one will make it to the top

    Voiceover: America’s Next Top Model – back on the runway, Wednesday September 22nd.


    Teaser #2 – Length: 30 seconds
    Voiceover: September 22nd …
    Tyra: We’re baaaaa-aaaack
    Voiceover: America’s Next Top Model returns…
    {Quick shot of the girls posing for the photo where they're all wearing black. Then cut to scene of Tyra and the girls in what looks like the outdoor seating area of a restaurant or something.}
    Tyra: Who's gonna win?
    The Girls: "Me!" (squealing and pointing at themselves)

    Voiceover: With 14 new contestants…
    {Cut to a scene from the interviews. J. Alexander, Tyra, and Jay Manual are sitting behind a table. The girls walk in one at a time. Eva struts in first, wearing sunglasses and a tan shirt that appears to be fastened with a single safety pin. No shirt underneath. She's also wearing big black plastic hoop earrings and her hair's all diva-d up. She take the glasses off - all business.

    Then Kristi walks in wearing that incredibly…er…eyecatching patriotic dress. She salutes the judges and J. Alexander (whose hair is in pigtails) salutes back. “Hail to the Chief” is playing in the background.

    Then Toccara walks in wearing a batwing-style black top with cutout sleeves.}
    Toccara: “I'm Toccara and I'm big, black, beautiful and loving it,” she says, giving herself two snaps up.

    {Some random skinny chick is shown shaking her butt and doing a lot of pelvic thrusting. She has a very large dangly ring in her navel. It’s disturbing.}

    Voiceover: Things are about to get scandalous…
    {Cassie comes in wearing a pink tank top. She points to the ceiling - for no apparant reason}
    Cassie: I might look like the all-american girl, but I don’t have the all-american job, cuz I’m a stripper.”

    Voiceover: Who will be America’s Next Top Model?
    {Cut to quick shots of the black shoot and the cocktail dress shoot.

    Cut to another audition scene. A girl who looks a bit like Jenny McCarthy – if Jenny had short straight dark hair – and is wearing an artfully ragged green tank top. Our friends at upn chopped the hell out of this scene, but this is what we’re meant to see"
    Tank top girl: “…I can’t take the pressure.”
    Tyra: “But don’t you think with any job interview...“
    Tank top girl (interrupting Tyra): “I don’t wanna do it.”
    {Then she turns on her heel and marches out. Tyra grabs hold of J. and screams a little, in a “what the hell is wrong with these girls?” kind of way.}

    Voiceover: All new, UPN Wednesday September 22nd


    Teaser #3 – Length: 8 seconds
    {shot of the girls doing the tank top shoot}
    Voiceover: For 14 girls, the competition has never been tougher
    Tyra: Only one can make it to the top
    Voiceover: America’s Next Top Model. Back on the Runway, UPN next Wednesday.


    Teaser #4 – Length: 2.5 minutes

    Voiceover: And now, the top five reasons to watch America’s Next Top Model.

    The girls…

    {Cut to a couple quick bikini shots of Ann, Cassie, and Norelle – I think.}

    The comedy…
    {Cut to shot of Kristi saluting in that stupid dress again. Cut to another model who says “I model like buttah.” J.’s eyes roll up in his head and he squeals like a stuck pig.}

    The drama…
    {Cut to shot in a bar/restaurant type of place. A female of the Caucasian persuasion, who has medium brown hair just past her shoulders, pours a bottle of beer over another - much taller - female, this one African American. It’s not Toccara. It’s not Eva. It’s not Ya Ya. It’s either Kelle or some random chick who just happens to be there. Then there’s a millisecond shot of one girl throwing something at another girl. Then the cut to YaYa who appears to be reenacting the drama.}
    Ya Ya: “I’ve never been in a bar fight before.”
    {Then the girl who got the beer poured on her and is now soaking wet scurries by, while two other girls cringe in the corner booth.}

    The judges…
    {Toccara walks in wearing a brown and white checkered bikini. She’s what they call “thick.” She’s clearly plus-sized, but she doesn’t have rolls of fat or cellulite. (Kinda like when Anna Nicole Smith was heavy.) Toccara also has an extremely large chest and it seems to have made quite an impression on the judges.}
    Tyra: I had no idea!
    J. (holding his hands out in front of his chest to show how big Toccara’s boobs are): Girl, when she unleashed those pupples, they were full-grown dogs!

    Tyra Banks :rolleyes
    {Cut to shot of Tyra walking into that outdoor restaurant type of place. Two of the girls (one of which I think is Ya Ya) bow down before Tyra (we’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!)}
    Last edited by lifeisastory; 09-17-2004 at 01:11 AM.

  2. #2
    Danger Bunny
    Quote Originally Posted by lifeisastory
    This week, I discovered that if you set the vcr on UPN and let it record from about 7:45 to 9:00 (basically the ANTM time slot) you have a 99.99% chance of catching the previews. So that's what I did, and I think I've got them all.
    I've got my system set. If I catch them tomorrow I'll post some screen caps.

  3. #3
    Wow thats great! Specially since I live in New Zealand and ANTM3 isnt going to come out until Jan I just loving reading ahead!

    Thanks very much!

  4. #4
    Team Natasha! nora's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Woo!! Thanks so much! I'd only seen #1 from the website, so it's nice to get a very clear idea of the others since I can't seem to catch them.
    "At this point I'm assuming their child is dead. Most likely crushed beneath a mountain of corn dogs. Not that Britney or Kevin would notice. Arguing and drinking seems to take up most of their time. As does Britney's attempts to turn herself into a giant blob of jello."

  5. #5
    It would be great if someone could upload the teasers!

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Milay
    It would be great if someone could upload the teasers!
    I haven't seen them all yet...

  7. #7
    My soul... Lonelyguy82's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Sacramento, CA

    I saw all of the commericals but there's no closed caption. :phhht

    But your breakdown sure helps a lot.

    Much hugs,

  8. #8
    Nik.Nicole.Bre.Lisa bhanson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    I havent seen any commercials! My granny watches smackdown on upn alot. Maybe I'll catch come then

  9. #9
    FORT Fanatic baby_wipes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    thanks! I've only seen the one on the UPN website and I also saw another one on CityTV (Canadian channel); I totally forget it except one girl said that she burps a lot I don't think I've read any descriptions of that commercial on this site yet!

  10. #10
    Nik.Nicole.Bre.Lisa bhanson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Quote Originally Posted by baby_wipes
    t I also saw another one on CityTV (Canadian channel);!
    Babywipes, are you from Vancouver!? ( I think City TV is based in Vancouver)

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