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Thread: ANTM2, Ep. 8 Recap: The Italian Job

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    ANTM2, Ep. 8 Recap: The Italian Job

    Ciao a tutti gli miei amici al FORT! This week on America’s Next Top Model, all the girls are given the boot—the Italian boot! [Get it? Italy? Boot? You know how the country is shaped like...aw, go look at a map.] Our model recruits are sent to Milan, the fashion center of Italy, for more intensive boot camp training. [Get it? Another boot? Like a leitmotif of boots and Italy, and—Mi scusi, I should just shut up now and commence with the cappin’...]

    Arrivederci Big Apple

    You know how it starts: someone at the apartment crying over their respective crisis du jour. This week, it’s Yoanna wiping a tear from her eye, explaining that she (indeed, everyone) has been saddened by Sara’s departure. Fear of elimination has, perhaps, heightened some insecurities. We see Yoanna on an exercise mat on the floor involved in an activity that would certainly make me cry: lower-ab crunches. Over pictures of a chubbier, younger version of herself, Yoanna reminds us that she only recently lost 45 pounds and adds, “I might feel a little uncomfortable with my body, and I don’t want that to be a reason why I’d ever get eliminated.”

    Even Camille isn’t made of steel (disproving the robot theories). Recalling the advice the psychic imparted to her about opening up and making friends, she decides to give her attitude an extreme makeover. Is Camille having a true change of heart? Like the Grinch, is her shriveled little heart beginning to beat with humanity and kindness? Or is this just another part of her cold and calculating strategy to stay in the game? “I’ll do whatever it takes to win,” Camille says. Even if it means being nice to people??? Wow, what a Herculean challenge! Camille then proceeds to reach out, having a chat with Mercedes, who advises her to take the psychic’s words to heart.

    Mercedes says, “I just want all the arguing and bickering to stop between Yoanna and Camille.” She plays peacemaker, going to Yoanna next and telling her that Camille wants to talk to her, adding, “You never know, she could be a good person.” Yeah sure. Or she could be a two-faced bitch in disguise!!! Still, Yoanna (with a huge, I mean gimongous, Mount Vesuvius-size zit on her chin) seems to be listening and taking Mercedes’ words to heart. As Yoanna says that she prays for Camille every night, I can’t help but recall the moment in the first episode when Camille refuses to stop blabbing in the car where Yoanna is apparently praying, and then, after Yoanna asks her to be quiet, Camille asks to see her rosary. Since then, I imagine Yoanna as praying for Camille to shut up, or perhaps worse. Mercedes mentions to Yoanna that Camille just wants to feel wanted, “especially by you.”

    The next morning, TyraMail announces, “It’s time to head to Heidi’s, Giselle’s, and my house.” The girls are psyched because they (and even I) think they will be meeting supermodels Giselle Bundchen and Heidi Klum at Tyra’s home, but when they arrive at their destination they are greeted by manager Kyle Hagler, and find out that they are, instead, at the office of IMG Models, which is the agency, and therefore the “home” of the Heidi, Giselle, and Tyra. No fair! False advertising! Then I remember, we’re watching UPN, which probably couldn’t afford to pay for a stock photo of Heidi’s uvula, much less a television appearance. Nevertheless, the girls are excited to be there, as this will also become the “home” of the ANTM winner once the competition is over and they receive a contract with IMG. Kyle tells them that IMG sees approximately 100 people every day, and of those people, only 2 are signed per year! He then talks to girls about the all-important “go-see”: essentially, the industry term for job interviews for models. He tells them that “On a go-see, nobody cares who you are. You have to make them care, you have to make them want you.” He asks them some practice questions (from basics like age to what photographers they like), and then ends by congratulating them on making it this far.

    Back at home, April observes with some incredulity a most bizarre phenomenon, “Honesty, I don’t know when it happened, but all of a sudden Yoanna and Camille are like…friends.” Put this in the X File, next to crop circles and UFOs. April’s remark is then followed by footage far more disturbing and unbelievable than alien autopsies or video of Sasquatch: tape of Yoanna and Camille goofing off together in the confession room, with matching sunglasses, declaring love for each other, hugging, and even calling themselves “Ebony and Ivory”! I am hit with a visceral wave of nausea, like a rookie cop walking in on his first homicide scene. DISTURBO!

    Later, the girls meet Tyra in Little Italy for lunch. Tyra tells Camille that she too much makeup, saying, “As a model, you kind of want to be a clean pallet when you’re walking around.” Camille pouts, but new Camille does not talk back defensively at the crtiticism. Tyra (conspicuously wearing her Ty necklace again—available at Kmart, perhaps?) then proceeds to do no favors to her musical career by performing a self-aggrandizing rap that she claims to have written in the ninth grade with lyrics that include her bra size (and invite you to feel her up to prove they’re real), her height (“I’m five foot nine, and I’m so fine), and a coda which declares “Pack your bags, y’all, you’re going to Milan!” Wow, perhaps it is Tyra who has the psychic ability, to have had the foresight to compose a rap in high school that included lyrics so appropriate to tonight’s episode?

    Needless to say, the girls are screaming and excited. Mercedes says that for models, getting news like this is almost better than sex. Tyra tells them that Milan is “all about high-fashion” therefore being pretty isn’t enough, “You’ve to be really edgy.” By sucking down 80 cups of espresso, that kind of edgy? She gives them one hour to pack and get ready to leave.

    Go-See A-Go-Go

    Strange, bobble-headed animations of the girls segue into their arrival in Milan at 8:30 am (2:30 am in New York), where they receive TyraMail at the airport (wonder if it required extra postage?) informing them that they will be heading directly to Tyra’s agency overseas, D’Management group. On the car ride over, the girls ogle Milan through the windows (Yoanna with a Catholic prayer book pressed to her chin, and Shandi who, despite being “so tired and so hungry,” still can’t help but marvel at being in Italy). They meet D’Management’s president, David Brown who tells them in incredibly patronizing tones that his agency exclusively handles “top models” such as, of course, Tyra and Kate Moss. He informs them that today they will be going on five go-sees with prospective clients where they will have to display the following top model aspects: appearance, personality, professionalism, and confidence. Shocked, Shandi says, “This day is going really, really fast. We don’t get to rest, we don’t get to do anything, we are going straight to work.”

    David hands them their “books,” a portfolio of their photos from the show thus far, and then takes them outside to show them how they will be getting around town. Five cute Italian boys come riding up in Vespa scooters, and the girls get to choose their drivers. With helmets on and their arms wrapped around hunky strangers, the girls take off in separate directions around town for their various appointments. A split screen shows the girls zipping though the streets like a scene from a movie. Camille, whom I think happened to select the cutest (and apparently most English speaking) driver, actually shows that she can be charming when she wants to be, as we watch her flirt with him throughout their travels about town.

    The go-sees are shown in a fast-paced montage: the casting director for D-La Republicca doesn’t like Yoanna’s body; Shandi demonstrates her walk; when one client tells Camille that they work only with top models she says, “Oh good, so I’m in the right place then.” All throughout, Camille and her Italian stallion continue to flirt shamelessly. “You are like a princess today,” Stud says, as he helps her buckle her helmet on. The D-La Rep casting director who took issue with Yoanna’s body deems Mercedes, “too commercial for me.” A casting director for Maxim tells April she looks, “obviously mixed-blooded” (who, outside of the British Royal Family that is, isn’t in this day and age?). April explains her mother is Japanese and her father German, Irish, Scottish, and Welsh. “Come on, pretty boy let’s go,” Mercedes orders her driver, who is busy inspecting himself in the rearview mirror. “My little Italian man,” Mercedes says later, “he did not speak that much English, but other than that, I’m having fun.” More quick flashes: Camille trying to suck up to the Maxim casting director by asking if she’s “ever graced any of the covers herself”, Mercedes giving a belly dance demonstration.

    The producers have saved the best for last, and the Go-See-Go-Round ends with a montage of the girls meeting Liliana Rolando, the casting director for Caractere, a rude, temperamental skag who doesn’t appear to speak much English and is accompanied by a snippy male translator/assistant. She barks orders at the girls to change quickly, and is borderline abusive with her criticism. She asks Camille why she is wearing so much makeup, tells Yoanna take off her big earrings, asks Mercedes why she walks the way she does. When she yells, “Hurry! I have many other girls to see today,” as Shandi does her walk, Shandi appears visibly rattled and fumbles. When asked about her walk, Camille tells Liliana and her assistant, “This is my signature walk, and this is what’s going to make me famous.” Liliana does not appear impressed, in fact she has the facial expression of someone’s who’s just smelled something very foul.

    “The lady was tough,” Yoanna says, bravely adding, “But I’m not gonna go cry in the corner or anything.” Shandi, not as toughskinned as Yoanna, pouts, “She’s a meany and she is a bad woman and I don’t like her!” April is asked what her portfolio pictures portray, and she responds with intelligence and professionalism (which the judges will no doubt find too business-like). Camille, bending over to put on her shoes, is rudely discharged like a $20 hooker by the assistant who says, “Can you fix yourself outside please?” Camille is nonplussed by the dastardly duo, saying afterwards, “I’m sure Caricature will be calling me pretty soon, so it’s not a problem.” Whether she mispronounces the name by accident, or is smart enough to knowingly make such a sly dig, we’ll never know.

    Post go-see, Camille’s Italiano takes her sightseeing on the Vespa, and they engage in some hardcore flirting. I swear I see Camille swoon, although this could also be due to the fact that she’s been awake for two days. Still, when he tells her that in a half hour they’ll be done, she lays her chin on his shoulder and says, “No! I’m gonna miss you.” This is a softer, more sincere side of Camille, perhaps the first time we’ve ever really seen her smile—and I wonder, maybe she really is changing. There is much slo-mo hugging, touching, and tussling as he drops her off, resembling Cinemax at 2:30 in the morning more than UPN at 9:30 at night. When she remarks that at the go-sees they liked her walk, Italiano says, “I like more than your walk.” What is this, Emmanuelle in Milan? They don’t seem to want to let go, but with patented Italian double-cheek farewell kiss and an embrace he tells her, “Our day is finished, I want everything good for you…It was a very, very, very, really great pleasure.” Ah, what he lacks in English grammar he more than makes up for in charm. Beaming, Camille says, “A very nice man…wanted to win my heart, and I’m happy with that.”

    If I Said You Had a Sub-Par Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?

    At 9:39 pm, Milan time (3:39 pm in New York), the girls return to D’Management where they meet with Tyra and David. They share their opinions on what was best and worst about their first day of go-sees: Shandi says that being new and learning was the hardest part, and as for what was the best, April quickly answers “the Vespa!” Tyra shares some of the results from their go-sees. Shandi was seen as “more high-fashion than commercial, but way too shy and not self-confident.” April appears puzzled when told that she was seen as “strong in appearance but weak in all the other areas.” Yoanna was told “you have a really gorgeous face, but you have to work on your body.” Mercedes was “weak in appearance, but a strong and very confident person.”

    Finally, Camille was seen as having “standard” looks but “the best confidence overall” making her the winner of a contest for the first time. Tyra informs her that her prize will be to have her portrait by an Italian artist, and Camille gets to choose one other girl who will not only accompany her, but also get her portrait painted. Camille selects…Yoanna!!! Everyone is touched by the gesture, like April who remarks, “It feels good to see them friends. It feels like we’ve come full-circle.” Camille damn near makes me cry when she says that she chose Yoanna because, “Yoanna has an issue with her self-confidence, and I wanted her to actually see that she is gorgeous.” Perhaps miracles can happen…and if you believe that, I have a tower to sell you in Pisa.

    One thing is clear—Yoanna is troubled by the criticism of her body. She asks Tyra for more clarification about what they want her to work on in terms of her body. She’s told they probably mean toning. “I mean, I’m already a size 2,” Yoanna says. Talk about your unrealistic socio-cultural expectations of beauty standards begetting body dysmorphia!

    “Honestly, it did upset me with the criticism that I don’t have the body type…I probably won’t be able to be a top model,” Yoanna admits. She remains poised throughout the meeting, and David hands them the keys to their apartment in Milan, but once outside, poor Yoanna breaks down crying. Still crying in the car, Yoanna says, “I want to go home. I’ll just put it on my credit card. I want to leave.” Mercedes, who has been trying to comfort Yoanna all this time, says the sweetest thing as she puts her head on her shoulder, “I don’t want you to leave. If you leave, then I’ll leave…as much as I love modeling.” Seeing Yoanna this hurt makes me want punch some editor at Vogue or Bazaar for making a beautiful, perfectly normal woman feel this bad about herself and her body. After talking it out with Mercedes, Yoanna comes to her senses and sees that perhaps she’s extra-sensitive to the criticism due to lack of sleep, lack of food, exhaustion.

    The girls finally arrive at their Milan digs, which is smaller than their place in New York, but still nicely appointed. The new place, probably combined with jet lag, hunger-induced crankiness, and who knows what all else causes a little squabbling amongst the girls. Mercedes tells Shandi, “Ew, don’t put your scary boyfriend here,” moving the framed portrait of the Eric, who looks like a grown-up Harry Potter (no, this is not a compliment) off of the vanity. Shandi, upset, puts up more pictures of her boyfriend, which she says makes her feel less homesick. “Who ever thought Ebony and Ivory would be sharing a room together?” Yoanna asks her new roomie, Camille. Truer words were never spoken. “Camille and I are getting along,” Yoanna says, seeming pleased. In a private confession, Camille tells the camera, “The best way to get revenge on someone is to kill them with kindness, so that’s what I’m doing, I’m killing Yoanna with kindness.” I guess that’s better than waking up to find a decapitated horse’s head in your bed, but revenge is not the sort of word in a newly changed, softer, cuddlier girl’s vocabulary. [Cue ominous organ music and flash back to Janice acting if Camille’s new kindness is “just an act”]

    M-m-m-my Verona

    The next day, the girls are transported to breathtaking Verona for their very first Italian photo shoot. They are taken to the stately Arena de Verona where they will be shot outside in the majestic open air coliseum. None other than Jay Manuel (in a fur-lined cardigan, no less—this is high fashion, PETA be damned!) greets the girls with a sprightly, “You didn’t think I was going to abandon you guys in Italy did you?” He tells them they will be doing a shoot for Solstice, a high-end retailer of designer sunglasses like Dior, Maxmara, Burberry, Gucci, and Armani, then introduces them to their photographer Massimo Costoli. The look for today’s shoot is high-fashion editorial, so the key is that indefinable, yet all essential element: edge, edge, edge. Yoanna, conscious of her body, says that today she is determined to prove she can be a high fashion model.

    Our old friend Nolé Marin (sans pup today, sadly) meets them down in wardrobe, where the girls get decked out in the real deal, haute couture (sorry, Catie, no Wet Seal here). Yummy, couture arouses me! But I digress (and, possibly, overshare)…There is a fabulous montage sequence of the girls getting dressed and styled, and Nolé saying “fabulous” repeatedly. “We should do a word count of how many times Nolé says fabulous in a day,” Jay quips (in this segment alone, we hear 6).

    Yoanna is the first to be shot, looking absolutely, well, fabulous in a romantic John Galliano [I’m drooling] frock with Dior glasses. Jay instructs the girls to give him “deconstructed poses, like they don’t care” in order to combat their tendency to “overthink” their poses which is making them “stiff on set.” Yoanna does a fantastic job, earning a “Brava” from Massimo. Nolé says that although “slightly larger than the other girls,” Yoanna “moved well.” Good Lord, they keep addressing her as if she’s Zaftig at size 2! In the meantime, Mercedes and April sneak a peek and marvel at how this is a “real high-fashion shoot”; Mercedes expresses feeling “insecurity” at seeing her competition.

    Camille goes up next, and garners my hardest laugh of the evening with her delusional and pretentiously stated comment, “I feel very privileged to be in this spot, even…quite royal.” Oh yeah, Camille’s royal alright, a royal you-know-what…but perhaps she’s changed [cue ominous organ music, flash back again to last week’s judgement, and Janice wondering if Camille is like “Jekyll and Hyde”]? During the shoot she appears to have a hard time taking direction again, with Massimo and Jay trying to keep her from being so “forced” and more “natural.” The photographer appears frustrated, having to tell Camille things over and over again, even to the point of getting up and showing her how to do it.

    Shandi follows, with huge, fright wig hair, but despite saying that she doesn’t know what she’s doing, manages to make it work. Jay tells her that her poses look better when she’s not trying so hard, and after that she just flows naturally. In the back, Jay is eating a banana [!] and talking with Nolé, in disbelief at how well Shandi is doing. “She looks like she is in Italian Vogue, period. I don’t know how she came from Walgreen’s to this?” Jay ponders. “That’s where they all come from,” Nolé says, “From Walgreen’s and Dairy Queen.” Do I smell two new sponsors for ANTM? Nolé is amazed is amazed at Shandi’s transformation from the “electrified chicken” of the Queench shoot to the “superstar” of today.

    April lays on the steps of the Arena in a striking orange and marigold dress, feeling like “the sun, a flaming ball of fire.” I’m just about to call someone to get the girl some Bactine, when she says, “I love that because colors fuel my energy.” Jay says, “April is very consistent. April continues to do a great job.” Mercedes goes last, and works diligently on tamping down her natural tendency to be “cute and bubbly” and work on being edgier. A few smiles and laughs can’t help but escape from her. Smiling, Mercedes says, “is a nervous twitch for me.” Jay says, “She’s a beautiful girl, but I keep looking at Mercedes, thinking that she’d be a toothpaste girl. Very commercial.”

    Portrait of a Lady (And Also One of a Two-Faced Bitch)

    After the shoot, Camille and Yoanna traipse through the old-world charm of Verona’s streets to meet the artist who will do their portraits. Yoanna earnestly thanks Camille for choosing her, “I feel so special.” They go up to embrace the windows of the Louis Vuitton boutique as if paying respects to a god (and who could blame them—I’m still waiting for my Murakami bag!).

    They meet their guy, one of those quaint artists who set up shop right on the street, and sit as he sketches out very accurate likenesses on his pad in charcoal, embellishing it with a couple splashes of color. As nice a scene as this is, and Yoanna and Camille are certainly enjoying their day in the streets of Verona, tell me I’m not the only one that thought Tyra made it sound like they were getting their portrait painted like by Michelangelo or someone. I mean, Venice Beach is just two blocks away from me, I can go out there and get a charcoal sketch of myself too. Cheap UPN producers!!! But I digress…Yoanna comments on how the day turned out to be more fun than she’d anticipated. “I’m actually building a friendship with Camille,” Yoanna says, cheerily. Sing it with me folks: FAMOUS…LAST…WORDS.

    All the girls assemble at a rustic little restaurant in Verona, where they toast amid the wine racks to health, happiness, friendship, love, and success. Tyra and Jay join them, and they discuss the allure of Italian men, the way Italian women get even sexier as they mature, and other observations about their trip. It’s a cozy, relaxed dinner, where everyone seems comfortable with each other. Mercedes even remarks, joyfully, “We were like a whole family now.”

    A dysfunctional family, perhaps. Right after dinner, Jay and Tyra wonder where Yoanna is, thinking maybe she’s in the bathroom. That’s when Camille very conspicuously makes a face that, without having to say a word, implies that somehow this is a regular thing for Yoanna [good time for the barf smiley]. Jay even asks her, “Okay, why do you have that face, Camille?” Tyra and Jay needle Camille, asking if Yoanna always disappears to the bathroom after dinner, and Camille just plays coy and shrugs. Mercedes looks at Camille as if disgusted, and defends Yoanna by saying “No,” but by then the damage has been done. Camille tries to play it off by saying, “She, you know, disappears…not after every meal…but she goes to the bathroom a lot.”

    Tyra, concerned will not let the issue go. “The eating disorder thing is very sensitive to me. I’ve never experienced it personally,” Tyra claims (of course not, she’s perfect in every way, oh Mistress Ty who doth control all within this universe), “Keep an eye on that, and watch her for me.” Mercedes feels this whole situation is the shadiest of shady, and says to the camera, “It’s important that what gets said when Tyra is at that table is the truth and nothing but the truth. I feel that Camille insinuated that Yoanna has an eating disorder which is not true.” Yoanna returns to the table with a matchbook, leading Tyra to ask if she was smoking, to which Yoanna replies no, she just took the matches as a souvenir. Tyra and Jay get up from the table to leave.

    Mercedes takes Yoanna aside and tells her what just went down because she doesn’t feel it’s right for people to talk behind her back. Yoanna is “furious because of the fact that that would plant a seed in Tyra’s head.” Yoanna immediately confronts Camille, who furiously backpedals, denying any responsibility. “I never in my life had an eating disorder,” Yoanna swears, “My body is a temple and I’m not going to abuse it like that.” Like a star prosecuting attorney, Mercedes steps in after Camile’s denial, and recreates the scene of the crime (even re-enacting Camille’s face after Jay asked if Yoanna went to the bathroom). Camille tries to claim that they didn’t ask about an eating disorder only if “Yoanna disappeared a lot.” Yoanna says, “I’m crushed that she would bring that up behind my back, and now I have to fix it.”

    Yoanna finds Tyra and has talk with her outside. She explains her side, and Tyra says that she needs to stand up for herself, adding, “Even though I saw that there was maybe a little bit of sabotage in [Camille’s insinuation], it did raise concern, because I want you to be healthy. I want everyone to be healthy.” This from the woman that ran her model recruits ragged just the day before by working them all day after a transatlantic flight with no food and no sleep. Call Alanis, because this is real irony. Ty gives Yo a hug, but thereafter the short-lived harmony of Ebony and Ivory dissolves into discord.

    Ding Dong the Bitch has Fled

    The next day the girls assemble before the judges for the eighth elimination of the competition. The judges are of course, La Ty herself, Janice, Eric, Nigel, and the guest judge for the week: Michael Giannini. The girls recognize him instantly, from the Go-See from Hell with Liliana at Caractere, however what they don’t know is that he is not Italian at all, nor is he an assistant. In fact, he talks with a New York accent, and just so happens to be one of Tyra’s agents at D’Management. He reveals that their go-see at Caractere was a test to see how they would respond under extreme pressure, and today they have clips from that day which the judges will be seeing for the very first time.

    They start with Shandi. Upon being asked why they should pick her despite her lack of experience, Shandi answers, earnestly, “If she were to see something in me, like in my photographs.” The judges applaud her for her sincerity. Janice says, “She responded honestly and from the heart. I love the way you dealt with his bizarre questions.” Michael still comments on Shandi’s shyness, but Nigel defends her by saying, “What he doesn’t know is the journey you’ve taken…it’s an enormous improvement.” The judges love her photo from Verona, too. “Perfection personified,” Janice says. Tyra says that not only was Shandi the photographer’s favorite girl out of the ANTM group, but that “your [photos] were some of the best photographs he’s taken all year.”

    Mercedes appears nervous as she stands for judgement. Tyra tells her that when Liliana asked her if she always walked like that, Mercedes should have said, “I will walk however you want me to walk.” Her photo gets a mixed response. Janice likes the “warrior pose” but Eric thinks that while the pose is high fashion her “face is just normal.” Tyra says Massimo said he had a great connection with Mercedes, but found her look a little to commercial.

    Next, they show Camille’s clip, including the moment she tells Liliana “This is my signature walk, and this is what’s going to make me famous.” Camille also adds, rather snippily, “Actually I’m here because I got chosen out of 6000 girls.” Tyra is so appalled, “I have to do a Janice.” She does Janice’s signature move: flopping her head down on the table in total disgust. “Time and time again, we’ve talked to you about attitude,” Nigel says, sounding like a beleaguered father. Tyra says it sounded like, “Look, bitch, I was chosen out of a million people, I don’t know what your problem is.” Camille weakly argues that she won the go-see contest, but Tyra says this was a separate test, and one that she clearly failed. They all think she could have done better with her picture, and Tyra points out that the photographer, “said that Camille was his least favorite girl, by far. She needs to be more in touch with her heart and soul.”

    Yoanna fares much better at her go-see. The judges love the way she looked at her go-see, saying that she inadvertently struck poses that were picture-quality during her interview. Michael gives her kudos for “not getting aggressive” but also “not backing down” despite the fact that he was really hard on her. Yoanna’s photo is another judge’s favorite. Janice deems it “fantastic” and Nigel says “It’s another look which I haven’t seen of you, which is great.”

    April’s clip shows her doing the same harsh hand gestures the judges didn’t like from the ANTM makeup campaign test—like a fascist dictator giving a speech behind a podium. Tyra says the fashion industry is “romantic, artistic, all about emotion” and again, April is faulted for being “too analytical.” Nigel tells her that when she gives some of the best answers, but what she ought to do when she gives them is “purr” (maybe he is picturing her in a latex outfit as she does this). Eric says April looks like “a corpse” in her photo, but Nigel strongly disagrees, “I like the intensity.” Janice nearly makes me soil myself from laughter when she says it looks like “the batteries died in her vibrator.” Come on, who hasn’t been there? But again, I overshare and digress…

    The judges deliberate, echoing many of their earlier concerns, then everyone reconvenes for the elimination. Tyra hands photos back to Shandi, Yoanna, and April, leaving Mercedes and Camille. Tyra tells Camille, “For some reason you feel you still have to prove to the world that you’re good enough.” Tyra tells Mercedes, “You’re here because of your personality,” adding that she saw tapes of many girls more beautiful than Mercedes, but that she had “a fire…little something extra.” Still, the fact she is so commercial makes the judges ask “Would the fashion industry believe it?” Mercedes starts to cry looking convinced that her run for America’s Next Top Model is over. “Maybe the world will, believe it, Mercedes,” Tyra says, handing Mercedes her picture.

    And thus Camille is at long last ousted from the race for America’s Next Top Model. No tears, no emotion, just Camille saying “Ciao” and walking out of the room. She says that she will take the criticism and use it to “make Camille a better Camille.” I certainly hope so, that somewhere inside that cold, bitchy, diva exterior there is some small glimmer of humanity. But if there’s not, I don’t particularly care. YAY, THE BITCH IS GONE!

    Grazie per la lettura della mia ricapitolazione! Se avete qualunque domande o osservazioni, prego trasmettami un messaggio a snowflakegirl@fansofrealitytv. com
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  2. #2
    FORT Fogey Salome's Avatar
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    "Ding Dong the Bitch has Fled"

    The appeal of ANTM really is in the details... Jay's banana, for instance.

    Great recap, as usual.

  3. #3
    I miss ANTM!! blueworld's Avatar
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    Your recaps are hilarious and so detailed! Thanks so much for another great recap.
    Living in a Blue World....
    I wanted Troy to win on the Apprentice... and not just because I live in Idaho!! John Peter Lewis on the other hand...

  4. #4
    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    Call Alanis, because this is real irony.


    Another great recap! You had me in stitches!

    I agree with you about an industry that can make a girl feel inadequate and too large at size 2. That must be especially hard to hear for someone who has worked hard to lose weight. That's just not right.
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  5. #5
    FORT Fan MidniteLace's Avatar
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    Quote:"Get it? Another boot? Like a leitmotif of boots and Italy, and—Mi scusi, I should just shut up now and commence with the cappin’...]"

    LOL This recap rocks!!!!!!!!!!
    Yet another great job Snowflake Girl...

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    nice recap snowflake girl! come back to post more often! you've been MIA!

  7. #7
    FORT Regular JaniceDRocks's Avatar
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    bravo as always darling!
    JaniceD'sbatteriesjustdied

  8. #8
    FORT Regular
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    Your recaps are singlehandedly responsible for my addiction to this site!

  9. #9
    FORT Fogey nausicaa's Avatar
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    [Get it? Italy? Boot? You know how the country is shaped like...aw, go look at a map.] Our model recruits are sent to Milan, the fashion center of Italy, for more intensive boot camp training. [Get it? Another boot? Like a leitmotif of boots and Italy, and—Mi scusi, I should just shut up now and commence with the cappin’...]
    Oh ... I think you're the only writer on this site who'd even dare attempt such a pun, Flake.

    Then I remember, we’re watching UPN, which probably couldn’t afford to pay for a stock photo of Heidi’s uvula
    Les mots justes!
    ETA: I should add that I first read "uvula" as "vulva" and thought - bad SnowflakeGirl! Bad!

    Call Alanis, because this is real irony.
    Yay! A reference to one of Canada's own!

    Excellenct recap.
    Last edited by nausicaa; 03-05-2004 at 12:08 PM.

  10. #10
    Plotting spegs's Avatar
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    So funny, SFG! Thanks!
    "Look, you love me, and I love you. Maybe in a different time, a different place, this would work out. But we both know that only one of us is leaving this room alive, and I'm the one holding the flame thrower." - Film Fakers

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