Fantasy American Inventor (Canadians too!)

[Krom]

Assume realities of production aren't a problem. What item would you invent and present to the judging team on this show? *

* - note, this topic is for laughs, although we will give a real analysis of an actual idea if you have one

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1st idea: Me, I'd invent a container for Simon Cowell's ego. It would strap around his gonads and related organs kind of like a male version of a chastity belt.

2nd idea: The Wonder Baton. This device is for keeping people you don't like at a minimum distance of 3 feet away from you. Please note this is neither a "stick" nor even a "wand".

3rd idea: The Yawni. This is a patent-pending sleep aid. It looks kind of like one of those Nature Sounds devices that Brookstone and Sharper Image sell, but instead of natural sounds it puts you to sleep via the greatest hits of that fabu new-agey pan-flute musician Yanni. The wake up alarm is quite a contrast--it's the sound of Yanni arguing loudly in Greek with his girlfriend.

[Twiddler]

Well...let's see....I don't have any ideas, but I am guessing a certain character from my novel series probably does. So, without further ado, here are some of Carcer Corkin's Greatest Creations! (Please keep in mind that I will be typing the rest of this post in the mind of Carcer Corkins. )

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1. The BWW - Bathtub With Wings! Basically, it's just like any other bathtub. Except it has wings. Which means it can fly, so you can now clean yourself fourty feet in the air! Instant GENIUS!

2. The RDF - Rubber Ducky Flamethrower: Is your child bored in the bathtub? Does he not want to get in because, for whatever stupid childish reason, he doesn't think he needs to get in? Well...your problems are solved! Set your troublesome child on fire before tossing him in the tub, or give the RDF to your child for some bathtime fun! Huzzah! Instant GENIUS!

3. The FBTU - Flying Bovine Transportation Unit: Created from a harmless, and, I assure you, purely accidental smelting accident, the FBTU will make your dreams come true! I mean...come ON! Who HASN'T wanted to fly all around the world on the back of a cow, hmmm? Tell me! NOW!! So I can make them go BOOOOOOOM! Ha-HA! Instant GENIUS!

(More to come later....after I get some sleep.)

[SentFromHeaven]

This should be fun.

The only invention I can think of is a Time Travel Machine, if only it were true I could go back to the 90's. Oh well, life goes on.

[MsFroggy]

This is a serious thread so I will very seriously share with you one of my ideas for which I have a patent currently pending:

- "The Reality TV Contestant Idiot-O-Meter". This is like a barometer only it's used to establish whether a person is stupid enough to qualify to be a contestant on a Reality TV Show. The way it works is sort of like an electric chair, well, minus the whole frying to death part. So the prospective contestants are strapped in the chair and hosed down with water. They are then told that they need to concentrate on the TV screen in front of them for 5 minutes, at the end of which they will need to answer questions about the Reality TV montage they just saw. Every wrong answer they get zapped with a bit of electricity.

Reasonably smart people at this point will scream and kick till they are let go proving that they don't belong on reality TV; people with ambitions to be on TV will stick it out for 1 or 2 zappings, proving that while they might be adequate they are just not ready to sell their soul yet and the truly qualified will make it as far as 3 or even 4, depending on how desperate they are, proving that they are perfect for reality TV. That way we'll have no more pretenders, only serious famewhores will get through!!

[Newfherder]

I had a brilliant idea for an invention the other day. It should be standard equipment in every vehicle on the road.

I don't know if every area has them, but we have street signs that say "DEAF CHILD AREA" to warn drivers that kids in the area may not hear them honk their horns. To provide an additional level of safety for the hearing-impaired kids, cars should have a pair of mechanical hands that deploy and use ASL to sign "Hey kid, get out of the road!" or some similar message.

I've invested my life savings (all $2.73), sold a kidney (my brother will be surprised when the buyer comes to claim it), and exhumed dead relatives to look for antique jewlery that I could pawn, all for this dream.

[waywyrd]

I've invested my life savings (all $2.73), sold a kidney (my brother will be surprised when the buyer comes to claim it), and exhumed dead relatives to look for antique jewlery that I could pawn, all for this dream.

What, you haven't sold your house yet?

Can somebody invent a device that will make Tom Cruise and Anna Nicole Smith go away? I'll gladly pay....

[Newfherder]

What, you haven't sold your house yet?

There just isn't much of a market for cardboard boxes

[MsFroggy]

What, you haven't sold your house yet?

Can somebody invent a device that will make Tom Cruise and Anna Nicole Smith go away? I'll gladly pay....

Good news! The "Tom Cruise Eliminator" is right now in the works! A dedicated and fearless group of talented screenwriters, directors and producers are working on an audacious plan to bring the following, sure to be Cruise free movies, to a big screen near you: "The Shrink", "The Psychiatrist", "Prozac For Everyone!", "Death to Aliens" and last but not least "Tom Stinks".
This is the only scientifically proven way to get rid of certain persistent pests that are hard to exterminate. Hopefully this new invention will catch on and more and more movies will feature psychiatrists, lots of antidepressants and cult themes!

There is no known antidote for Anna Nicole Smith.

[waywyrd]

Too funny, MsFroggy!

We'll have to keep working on Anna Nicole...