American Idol 1/19: Show Me Some Talent In The Show-Me State

lobeck · 01-20-2005, 01:10 AM

Tonight's show opens with Ryan standing in front of a huge arch, so he's either in front of a really, really big McDonald's, or he's in St. Louis, Missouri. It is the latter, of course, as St. Louis is the second of seven audition cities for this season's American Idol. Before we get to tonight's show, we have a recap of last night's show in Washington, DC (which, in turn, is preceded by a new opening sequence showing the past seasons' winners), and then it's down to the business at hand.

Ryan talks about how it helps to be a "triple threat", and that leads us into our first audition. No, it's not some actor/singer/model; rather, it's Mandy, Erin, and Melissa Maynard. Yes, they are triplets, and they have come to the audition to sing together. While this certainly gives them a gimmick that nobody else has, the fact that they've come to sing together does not bode well for their chances. However, that does not deter them, and they launch into a very good rendition of "It's Raining Men". Their harmonies are great, and I think they sound really good. While Randy and Paula seem impressed with their performance, Simon says they remind him of "three overweight Jessica Simpsons". Now, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the fact remains that they cannot be advanced as a group. So, Simon asks them whom they think is the best, and Mandy and Melissa both point to Erin. The two of them basically signed their own death certificates, as Simon immediately asks them to leave so the judges can decide about Erin. Randy votes "yes", and Paula votes "no", leaving the decision up to Mr. Scowl himself. Without much hesitation, Simon says "no", and Erin leaves the room, leaving me to wonder why they even separated the girls out in the first place if they were just going to go through the motions and say no. I mean, they did not even let Erin sing by herself before dismissing her. *deep breath*…OK, I feel better now. Anyway, Erin leaves the room and lets her sisters in on the bad news. They then go to the confessional where they proceed to tear into Simon as expected. I think it is a shame they were not advanced, because I think they could have gone farther than any family act has up to now.

Our next AI hopeful is Katrina Rece, and this girl has led a very interesting life. For some anthropology class, she actually ate some human flesh. (She says it tastes like bacon, but I do not think I'll ever be seeing for myself, thankyouverymuch.) Her parents also have a "panic room" in their house. And, what does Katrina do for a living? Why, she works for some sort of customer service call center set-up where she takes calls from mental patients all day. So, basically, she is a cannibal who lives in a padded room and talks to crazy people all day. If that does not sound like a Lifetime Original Movie, I do not know what does. She sings Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody", and, while her voice is rather high, I don't think she sounds all that bad. The judges are not impressed, though, and she does not advance to Hollywood. Before she leaves the audition room, Simon makes some sort of joke about how he wants to introduce her to the Maynard triplets so that she can help them slim down by eating some of their flesh or something equally as tasteless (the joke, that is, not the flesh). Personally, I think that was not funny at all, but Simon has never professed to be a comedian, and I certainly hope he doesn't claim to be one after tonight.

After our first commercial break of the evening, we see footage of Ryan throwing out the first pitch at a St. Louis Cardinals' game (where he does not even come close to the plate). This is a nice segue into our next hopeful, Osborne Smith. Now, if that name sounds familiar to any of you, it is because he is the son of Cardinals great Ozzie Smith. See the tie-in? Anyway, Osborne sings "All I Have To Give", and I think he sounds pretty good. Apparently, all he has to give is enough for the judges as well, as they advance him through to the Hollywood auditions.

Next up is Johnny Hayes. Johnny has chosen to sing "My First Love", a song that Randy says is "close to my heart". Now, if a song is close to a judge's heart, you had better do a damn good rendition of it if you want to advance in the competition. Unfortunately, Johnny does not come through. They must have been passing around a big tank of helium in the waiting area, as Johnny is the first of many hopefuls who sound like they have been doing helium shots before coming in to audition. Needless to say, Johnny does not advance to Hollywood.

The next hopeful we meet is Angel Higgs. Angel is a vocal teacher, and she has arrived at the auditions with her student Jeremy. Both of them plan to audition, but Jeremy's audition will come later in the show. For now, the focus is on Angel, and she's chosen to sing the Chaka Khan hit "Ain't Nobody" for her audition. In my opinion, it's not as good as Latoya London's version from this past season, but it is certainly good enough for her to advance to the next round. (Randy even goes so far as to say that Angel is "one of the best we've heard yet".) Will Jeremy advance as well? Patience, children, patience. We will find out soon.

Next up is Jessica Pontius, who says she has "the look" to be the next American Idol. Well, I guess if no makeup and crooked teeth is the look, then, yeah, she has it. However, it is singing that really matters, and Jessica has to impress the judges in order to advance. She's chosen to sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow", and it just doesn't go very well. Her voice is distractingly high, and her breathing pattern is way off. Instead of singing, "Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me", it comes out sounding like, "SomedayI'llwishuponastarandwa keupwherethecloudsarefar (*breath*) behind me". Simon calls Jessica's audition "excruciatingly awful", and Paula suggests that Jessica might be able to find voiceover work in cartoons. In the end, while Jessica may think she has "the look", the judges decide that she does not have "the voice", and Jessica does not move on.

After another commercial break, it is time to meet Joe Schoen. Joe should have walked into his audition in a superhero costume with a big "E" on his chest, because he is definitely (*insert dramatic superhero music here*) Captain Ego. He's shown up with his own rooting section (complete with banners and signs), and he tells us that he told his boss at work that he had to leave work and return home for a "family emergency". Yeah, you guessed it; the "family emergency" Joe had to return home for is his audition. Anyway, Joe—who says he is "the total package", by the way—walks into the audition room full of <s>himself</s> confidence and announces that he is going to sing "My Girl". He sounds good, but I think his performance is too affected (to use last season's big buzzword), and he comes across as rather cheesy. (You can just imagine my surprise and shock when Joe reveals that he used to sing on a cruise ship and now helps train performers to go out and do that very thing.) I mean, this guy even looks directly into the camera during his performance! Anyway, when it is time for the judges' comments, Simon says the performance reminds him of "one of those terrible entertainment shows from the 1970's where someone does an act, tells a joke, and ends the act with a song. That's what you are, which is a cruise ship singer." Joe gets all pissy and says, "I am NOT a cruise ship singer." (Um, Joe, you said yourself that you have sung on a cruise ship, so what does that make you…a firefighter?) Simon interjects, "You and I are going to have a problem if you keep on like this." When Joe asks him what he means, Simon responds, "You're getting obnoxious." At this point, I half expect Joe to put his hands on his hips, stomp his foot, and march out of the room in full-on pout mode, but he doesn't. He just gets pissier and says, "I have the story, and I look the part." He implies that previous contestants, most notably last season, were one-note wonders (*cough*John Stevens*cough*), and he continues, "I can sing more than one genre of music, and you have to put me through." Actually, hon', they do not have to put anyone through. It goes without saying that Joe isn't put through, and what Joe has to do now is explain the whole "family emergency" story to his boss once his boss sees tonight's show.

Joe is a hard act to follow, but if anyone can do it, it's Justin Smith. Justin says he is going to "try to susseed" in his audition. Now, I am sure he meant "succeed", but, then again, maybe he was referring to withdrawing from the Union as the southern states did before the Civil War. Anyway, Justin shows up for his audition in a powder blue jumpsuit, and I do not know if his garbage truck is parked outside or if he is on some sort of work-release program from the local penitentiary. After hearing his rendition of "Proud Mary", though, I am thinking maybe he should be sent to prison, because his singing is an absolute crime. His performance—which included a really bad attempt at duplicating Tina Turner's original choreography—is so bad that it wouldn't even work in a camp drag musical revue. Justin does not advance, of course, and his performance leads us into a montage of several other bad renditions of "Proud Mary" from the St. Louis auditions. I thought "Isn't She Lovely" was this year's version of "Fallin'", but, after seeing how many people performed "Proud Mary" in St. Louis, I may have to change my mind.

After another commercial break, it is time to hear from Aa'shia (pronounced "Asia") Jackson. This 16-year-old girl comes into the audition room exuding confidence and reciting some rap at the speed of light. That is impressive enough, but how is her singing? Well, Miss Aa'shia must have taken a hit on the helium bong as well, because, when she sings "I'll Be There", she definitely sounds like one of The Chipmunks. What do the judges think? Well, Randy calls her "unique" and finally votes to advance her. Simon says, "100 percent, categorically, no." Paula throws her two cents in and says, "100 percent, categorically, yes." That means that Aa'shia is through to Hollywood, and I don't know who is happier, Aa'shia or her mother. Mama Chipmunk says her daughter is the best performer this show has ever seen and that she's gonna sell a gazillion CD's and blah blah blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do y'all know that big hook they use to get people off the stage on Showtime At The Apollo? That would sure come in handy about now…

Following Aa'shia is Maurice Thomas, whose family has told him he sings like Brian McKnight. That means he should be good, right? Um, no. He sings the Tevin Campbell song "Can We Talk?", and I don’t' know about talking, but one thing I know for sure is that he sure as hell can't sing. The judges give a unanimous "no", but Maurice begs for another shot. He tells the judges that his family says he can sing like Brian McKnight, so the judges ask him to sing a Brian McKnight song. I don't know what song it is he sings, but he does not sound any better, and the judges just look at him and say, "Still no." Dejected, Maurice leaves the room. Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, he does not advance to Hollywood.

After yet another commercial break, it is time to hear from Carrie Underwood. We hear all about how Carrie has lived all her life on a farm, has never flown anywhere before, and, in general, has not done a lot of things people her age have probably already done. I can already see the writing on the wall for this girl, but I will withhold judgment until I hear her sing. Carrie does not disappoint and gives an excellent rendition of Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me". The judges are unanimous in their praise, with Simon calling the performance "very good" and Randy saying, "You've got it vocally." Carrie is sent through to the Hollywood round, and you know this sweet, sheltered girl is going to either be totally freaked out by what she sees in La La Land, or she's going to go hog-wild and end up as a guest on a future edition of Maury.

Remember Angel Higgs, the vocal teacher who showed up at the audition with her student? Well, it is time to hear from that student, Jeremy Wakefield. Jeremy struts into the audition room and announces that he is going to sing "Ain't Too Proud To Beg". He sounds pretty good, but he is moving all over the place, and his performance comes across as very affected (there's that word again). The judges ask him to sing another song—this time less affected—and he does. Sing another song, that is. It is just as affected as the first one, and the judges end up being split on their opinion of Jeremy. Randy votes "yes", but Paula and Simon both vote "no", so, unfortunately, Jeremy does not advance. He goes outside to deliver the bad news to Angel, and she absolutely loses it. She breaks down in tears and wails about how this is not right and how she really came to the audition for Jeremy and not for herself. So, Angel, does that mean that you are not all that interested in continuing on to the Hollywood auditions? Yeah, I didn't think so…

After our final commercial break of the evening (yay!), it is time to hear the story of "When Adam Met Dirk". No, you have not suddenly been switched to some gay porn channel, so calm down. Adam Pratt and Dirk Pearman are two contestants who met in line at the audition and quickly became fast and furious friends. Now, they look like they would fit in better at your local Star Trek convention, but do not forget that looks can be deceiving. Anyway, Dirk is up first, and we learn that he's obsessed with the show Baywatch. No, he does not tune in to watch the women run along the beach in slow motion. He says he watches the show because he is obsessed with David Hasselhoff. Yes, you read that correctly. He says he thinks that David Hasselhoff is a great singer, and that right there should have been a sign that this guy might need to be shipped off to the nearest nut house. He sings a David Hasselhoff tune (puhleeze…as if I am going to know the title of that one), and it is just painful to watch (not to mention listen to). It is so bad that I almost feel sorry for Dirk. I said almost. Anyway, Dirk doesn't make it through to the next round, but there is still hope for Adam, right? Adam guarantees that the judges "will see an awesome performance" from him, and he adds, "I can appeal to America". Think again, Sporto. He sings the 'N Sync song "This I Promise You", and the first line out of his mouth is, "When the visions around you bring tears to your eyes…" Now, it is not the visions around me that are bringing tears to my eyes; it is Adam's damn singing. It goes without saying that Adam does not make it through, either, but the two guys say that, regardless of the outcome of the auditions, they have found a new friend in each other, and they then turn and walk off into the sunset together.

Well, folks, that is it for the St. Louis auditions. Of the 12,000 people that auditioned, 32 were selected to move on to the Hollywood round. Did "The Show-Me State" show us the next American Idol? Keep watching to find out!

To contact the author of this recap, send e-mail to lobeck@fansofrealitytv.com.

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tracylee · 01-20-2005, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Simon calls Jessica's audition "excruciatingly awful", and Paula suggests that Jessica might be able to find voiceover work in cartoons. In the end, while Jessica may think she has "the look", the judges decide that she does not have "the voice", and Jessica does not move on.

I was a little put out by the way they went on like she wasn't even there. Like they've been doing this in a vaccuum for a little too long.

Quote:

After another commercial break, it is time to meet Joe Schoen. Joe should have walked into his audition in a superhero costume with a big "E" on his chest, because he is definitely (*insert dramatic superhero music here*) Captain Ego.

What an incredible jerk!

Great recap!

**hepcat** · 01-20-2005, 02:04 AM

Awesome recap delivered at light speed, Lobeck!

sleepysluggo · 01-20-2005, 02:09 AM

Wow, this recap came quick!

Quote:

After our final commercial break of the evening (yay!), it is time to hear the story of "When Adam Met Dirk". No, you have not suddenly been switched to some gay porn channel, so calm down.

kenjixs · 01-20-2005, 02:59 AM

today was ok, man i cant wait to see the hollywood rounds tho, i havent been to the fort in awhile and its good to be back

, god i hope jasmine comes back this year

soybean · 01-20-2005, 03:24 AM

I liked Carrie and Osborne best tongiht.
The teacher was a pretty good but her personality was...strange.
I'm sad they didn't let any of the triplets through

I think they were very good and a lot better than any of the twins from previous seasons.
I loved Katrina Rece's personality. She sang pretty well, too, but I agree she wouldn't have made it to the semi-finals.

Kariann1 · 01-20-2005, 05:34 AM

Oh, I am so glad to be back!!

Lobeck, you just have that magic touch with these recaps! Great job!

I was very impressed with Carrie Underwood, the farm girl who sang Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me". On the replay, I closed my eyes and she truly has a pretty voice. However, I am thinking they may not want another one of those "sweet ones"!

Unklescott · 01-20-2005, 07:05 AM

Quote:

So, basically, she is a cannibal who lives in a padded room and talks to crazy people all day.
Well, I guess if no makeup and crooked teeth is the look, then, yeah, she has it.
Um, Joe, you said yourself that you have sung on a cruise ship, so what does that make you…a firefighter?)
No, you have not suddenly been switched to some gay porn channel, so calm down.

I particularly loved the firefighter line as I love Al Jaffee's Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions from Mad magazine.

RubyRed · 01-20-2005, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lobeck

After another commercial break, it is time to meet Joe Schoen. Joe should have walked into his audition in a superhero costume with a big "E" on his chest, because he is definitely (*insert dramatic superhero music here*) Captain Ego. He sounds good, but I think his performance is too affected (to use last season's big buzzword), and he comes across as rather cheesy.

Good sum of Joe. He was so arrogant he was almost unbearable. Although, it would have been good TV if he made it further, but he just pissed Simon off so much there was no way he would go through.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lobeck

Remember Angel Higgs, the vocal teacher who showed up at the audition with her student? Well, it is time to hear from that student, Jeremy Wakefield. Jeremy struts into the audition room and announces that he is going to sing "Ain't Too Proud To Beg".... Jeremy does not advance. He goes outside to deliver the bad news to Angel, and she absolutely loses it. She breaks down in tears and wails about how this is not right and how she really came to the audition for Jeremy and not for herself. So, Angel, does that mean that you are not all that interested in continuing on to the Hollywood auditions? Yeah, I didn't think so…

Man, talk about a drama queen. For those of you who didn't see she sat on the floor and wailed and wailed while it didn't seem to bother Jeremy at all.

I think both Joe and Jeremy have confused arrogance with confidence, and I hate that.

tmlw1971 · 01-20-2005, 03:35 PM

I loved OJ (Osbourne) & Carrie. Looking forward to them. as for the music teacher, I hope she got al of her crying out. I hate to see how she'll respond to Simon's critique's live on stage in front of an audience.

01-20-2005, 01:10 AM	#1
lobeck For Your Entertainment Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Right here, right now Age: 45 Posts: 14,685	American Idol 1/19: Show Me Some Talent In The Show-Me State Tonight's show opens with Ryan standing in front of a huge arch, so he's either in front of a really, really big McDonald's, or he's in St. Louis, Missouri. It is the latter, of course, as St. Louis is the second of seven audition cities for this season's American Idol. Before we get to tonight's show, we have a recap of last night's show in Washington, DC (which, in turn, is preceded by a new opening sequence showing the past seasons' winners), and then it's down to the business at hand. Ryan talks about how it helps to be a "triple threat", and that leads us into our first audition. No, it's not some actor/singer/model; rather, it's Mandy, Erin, and Melissa Maynard. Yes, they are triplets, and they have come to the audition to sing together. While this certainly gives them a gimmick that nobody else has, the fact that they've come to sing together does not bode well for their chances. However, that does not deter them, and they launch into a very good rendition of "It's Raining Men". Their harmonies are great, and I think they sound really good. While Randy and Paula seem impressed with their performance, Simon says they remind him of "three overweight Jessica Simpsons". Now, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the fact remains that they cannot be advanced as a group. So, Simon asks them whom they think is the best, and Mandy and Melissa both point to Erin. The two of them basically signed their own death certificates, as Simon immediately asks them to leave so the judges can decide about Erin. Randy votes "yes", and Paula votes "no", leaving the decision up to Mr. Scowl himself. Without much hesitation, Simon says "no", and Erin leaves the room, leaving me to wonder why they even separated the girls out in the first place if they were just going to go through the motions and say no. I mean, they did not even let Erin sing by herself before dismissing her. deep breath…OK, I feel better now. Anyway, Erin leaves the room and lets her sisters in on the bad news. They then go to the confessional where they proceed to tear into Simon as expected. I think it is a shame they were not advanced, because I think they could have gone farther than any family act has up to now. Our next AI hopeful is Katrina Rece, and this girl has led a very interesting life. For some anthropology class, she actually ate some human flesh. (She says it tastes like bacon, but I do not think I'll ever be seeing for myself, thankyouverymuch.) Her parents also have a "panic room" in their house. And, what does Katrina do for a living? Why, she works for some sort of customer service call center set-up where she takes calls from mental patients all day. So, basically, she is a cannibal who lives in a padded room and talks to crazy people all day. If that does not sound like a Lifetime Original Movie, I do not know what does. She sings Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody", and, while her voice is rather high, I don't think she sounds all that bad. The judges are not impressed, though, and she does not advance to Hollywood. Before she leaves the audition room, Simon makes some sort of joke about how he wants to introduce her to the Maynard triplets so that she can help them slim down by eating some of their flesh or something equally as tasteless (the joke, that is, not the flesh). Personally, I think that was not funny at all, but Simon has never professed to be a comedian, and I certainly hope he doesn't claim to be one after tonight. After our first commercial break of the evening, we see footage of Ryan throwing out the first pitch at a St. Louis Cardinals' game (where he does not even come close to the plate). This is a nice segue into our next hopeful, Osborne Smith. Now, if that name sounds familiar to any of you, it is because he is the son of Cardinals great Ozzie Smith. See the tie-in? Anyway, Osborne sings "All I Have To Give", and I think he sounds pretty good. Apparently, all he has to give is enough for the judges as well, as they advance him through to the Hollywood auditions. Next up is Johnny Hayes. Johnny has chosen to sing "My First Love", a song that Randy says is "close to my heart". Now, if a song is close to a judge's heart, you had better do a damn good rendition of it if you want to advance in the competition. Unfortunately, Johnny does not come through. They must have been passing around a big tank of helium in the waiting area, as Johnny is the first of many hopefuls who sound like they have been doing helium shots before coming in to audition. Needless to say, Johnny does not advance to Hollywood. The next hopeful we meet is Angel Higgs. Angel is a vocal teacher, and she has arrived at the auditions with her student Jeremy. Both of them plan to audition, but Jeremy's audition will come later in the show. For now, the focus is on Angel, and she's chosen to sing the Chaka Khan hit "Ain't Nobody" for her audition. In my opinion, it's not as good as Latoya London's version from this past season, but it is certainly good enough for her to advance to the next round. (Randy even goes so far as to say that Angel is "one of the best we've heard yet".) Will Jeremy advance as well? Patience, children, patience. We will find out soon. Next up is Jessica Pontius, who says she has "the look" to be the next American Idol. Well, I guess if no makeup and crooked teeth is the look, then, yeah, she has it. However, it is singing that really matters, and Jessica has to impress the judges in order to advance. She's chosen to sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow", and it just doesn't go very well. Her voice is distractingly high, and her breathing pattern is way off. Instead of singing, "Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me", it comes out sounding like, "SomedayI'llwishuponastarandwa keupwherethecloudsarefar (breath) behind me". Simon calls Jessica's audition "excruciatingly awful", and Paula suggests that Jessica might be able to find voiceover work in cartoons. In the end, while Jessica may think she has "the look", the judges decide that she does not have "the voice", and Jessica does not move on. After another commercial break, it is time to meet Joe Schoen. Joe should have walked into his audition in a superhero costume with a big "E" on his chest, because he is definitely (insert dramatic superhero music here) Captain Ego. He's shown up with his own rooting section (complete with banners and signs), and he tells us that he told his boss at work that he had to leave work and return home for a "family emergency". Yeah, you guessed it; the "family emergency" Joe had to return home for is his audition. Anyway, Joe—who says he is "the total package", by the way—walks into the audition room full of <s>himself</s> confidence and announces that he is going to sing "My Girl". He sounds good, but I think his performance is too affected (to use last season's big buzzword), and he comes across as rather cheesy. (You can just imagine my surprise and shock when Joe reveals that he used to sing on a cruise ship and now helps train performers to go out and do that very thing.) I mean, this guy even looks directly into the camera during his performance! Anyway, when it is time for the judges' comments, Simon says the performance reminds him of "one of those terrible entertainment shows from the 1970's where someone does an act, tells a joke, and ends the act with a song. That's what you are, which is a cruise ship singer." Joe gets all pissy and says, "I am NOT a cruise ship singer." (Um, Joe, you said yourself that you have sung on a cruise ship, so what does that make you…a firefighter?) Simon interjects, "You and I are going to have a problem if you keep on like this." When Joe asks him what he means, Simon responds, "You're getting obnoxious." At this point, I half expect Joe to put his hands on his hips, stomp his foot, and march out of the room in full-on pout mode, but he doesn't. He just gets pissier and says, "I have the story, and I look the part." He implies that previous contestants, most notably last season, were one-note wonders (coughJohn Stevenscough), and he continues, "I can sing more than one genre of music, and you have to put me through." Actually, hon', they do not have to put anyone through. It goes without saying that Joe isn't put through, and what Joe has to do now is explain the whole "family emergency" story to his boss once his boss sees tonight's show. Joe is a hard act to follow, but if anyone can do it, it's Justin Smith. Justin says he is going to "try to susseed" in his audition. Now, I am sure he meant "succeed", but, then again, maybe he was referring to withdrawing from the Union as the southern states did before the Civil War. Anyway, Justin shows up for his audition in a powder blue jumpsuit, and I do not know if his garbage truck is parked outside or if he is on some sort of work-release program from the local penitentiary. After hearing his rendition of "Proud Mary", though, I am thinking maybe he should be sent to prison, because his singing is an absolute crime. His performance—which included a really bad attempt at duplicating Tina Turner's original choreography—is so bad that it wouldn't even work in a camp drag musical revue. Justin does not advance, of course, and his performance leads us into a montage of several other bad renditions of "Proud Mary" from the St. Louis auditions. I thought "Isn't She Lovely" was this year's version of "Fallin'", but, after seeing how many people performed "Proud Mary" in St. Louis, I may have to change my mind. After another commercial break, it is time to hear from Aa'shia (pronounced "Asia") Jackson. This 16-year-old girl comes into the audition room exuding confidence and reciting some rap at the speed of light. That is impressive enough, but how is her singing? Well, Miss Aa'shia must have taken a hit on the helium bong as well, because, when she sings "I'll Be There", she definitely sounds like one of The Chipmunks. What do the judges think? Well, Randy calls her "unique" and finally votes to advance her. Simon says, "100 percent, categorically, no." Paula throws her two cents in and says, "100 percent, categorically, yes." That means that Aa'shia is through to Hollywood, and I don't know who is happier, Aa'shia or her mother. Mama Chipmunk says her daughter is the best performer this show has ever seen and that she's gonna sell a gazillion CD's and blah blah blah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do y'all know that big hook they use to get people off the stage on Showtime At The Apollo? That would sure come in handy about now… Following Aa'shia is Maurice Thomas, whose family has told him he sings like Brian McKnight. That means he should be good, right? Um, no. He sings the Tevin Campbell song "Can We Talk?", and I don’t' know about talking, but one thing I know for sure is that he sure as hell can't sing. The judges give a unanimous "no", but Maurice begs for another shot. He tells the judges that his family says he can sing like Brian McKnight, so the judges ask him to sing a Brian McKnight song. I don't know what song it is he sings, but he does not sound any better, and the judges just look at him and say, "Still no." Dejected, Maurice leaves the room. Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, he does not advance to Hollywood. After yet another commercial break, it is time to hear from Carrie Underwood. We hear all about how Carrie has lived all her life on a farm, has never flown anywhere before, and, in general, has not done a lot of things people her age have probably already done. I can already see the writing on the wall for this girl, but I will withhold judgment until I hear her sing. Carrie does not disappoint and gives an excellent rendition of Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me". The judges are unanimous in their praise, with Simon calling the performance "very good" and Randy saying, "You've got it vocally." Carrie is sent through to the Hollywood round, and you know this sweet, sheltered girl is going to either be totally freaked out by what she sees in La La Land, or she's going to go hog-wild and end up as a guest on a future edition of Maury. Remember Angel Higgs, the vocal teacher who showed up at the audition with her student? Well, it is time to hear from that student, Jeremy Wakefield. Jeremy struts into the audition room and announces that he is going to sing "Ain't Too Proud To Beg". He sounds pretty good, but he is moving all over the place, and his performance comes across as very affected (there's that word again). The judges ask him to sing another song—this time less affected—and he does. Sing another song, that is. It is just as affected as the first one, and the judges end up being split on their opinion of Jeremy. Randy votes "yes", but Paula and Simon both vote "no", so, unfortunately, Jeremy does not advance. He goes outside to deliver the bad news to Angel, and she absolutely loses it. She breaks down in tears and wails about how this is not right and how she really came to the audition for Jeremy and not for herself. So, Angel, does that mean that you are not all that interested in continuing on to the Hollywood auditions? Yeah, I didn't think so… After our final commercial break of the evening (yay!), it is time to hear the story of "When Adam Met Dirk". No, you have not suddenly been switched to some gay porn channel, so calm down. Adam Pratt and Dirk Pearman are two contestants who met in line at the audition and quickly became fast and furious friends. Now, they look like they would fit in better at your local Star Trek convention, but do not forget that looks can be deceiving. Anyway, Dirk is up first, and we learn that he's obsessed with the show Baywatch. No, he does not tune in to watch the women run along the beach in slow motion. He says he watches the show because he is obsessed with David Hasselhoff. Yes, you read that correctly. He says he thinks that David Hasselhoff is a great singer, and that right there should have been a sign that this guy might need to be shipped off to the nearest nut house. He sings a David Hasselhoff tune (puhleeze…as if I am going to know the title of that one), and it is just painful to watch (not to mention listen to). It is so bad that I almost feel sorry for Dirk. I said almost. Anyway, Dirk doesn't make it through to the next round, but there is still hope for Adam, right? Adam guarantees that the judges "will see an awesome performance" from him, and he adds, "I can appeal to America". Think again, Sporto. He sings the 'N Sync song "This I Promise You", and the first line out of his mouth is, "When the visions around you bring tears to your eyes…" Now, it is not the visions around me that are bringing tears to my eyes; it is Adam's damn singing. It goes without saying that Adam does not make it through, either, but the two guys say that, regardless of the outcome of the auditions, they have found a new friend in each other, and they then turn and walk off into the sunset together. Well, folks, that is it for the St. Louis auditions. Of the 12,000 people that auditioned, 32 were selected to move on to the Hollywood round. Did "The Show-Me State" show us the next American Idol? Keep watching to find out! To contact the author of this recap, send e-mail to lobeck@fansofrealitytv.com.

01-20-2005, 02:04 AM	#3
hepcat Gleek Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: not sleeping Posts: 25,917	Awesome recap delivered at light speed, Lobeck! __________________ Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never, ever told a soul.

01-20-2005, 02:59 AM	#5
kenjixs #1 chris fan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: San Jose Ca Age: 25 Posts: 295	today was ok, man i cant wait to see the hollywood rounds tho, i havent been to the fort in awhile and its good to be back , god i hope jasmine comes back this year __________________ kEnJiXs BRING BACK SANJAYA... CHRIS RICHARDSON

01-20-2005, 03:24 AM	#6
soybean FORT Fanatic Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Ca Age: 26 Posts: 545	I liked Carrie and Osborne best tongiht. The teacher was a pretty good but her personality was...strange. I'm sad they didn't let any of the triplets through I think they were very good and a lot better than any of the twins from previous seasons. I loved Katrina Rece's personality. She sang pretty well, too, but I agree she wouldn't have made it to the semi-finals.

01-20-2005, 05:34 AM	#7
Kariann1 FORT Fogey Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1,076	Oh, I am so glad to be back!! Lobeck, you just have that magic touch with these recaps! Great job! I was very impressed with Carrie Underwood, the farm girl who sang Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me". On the replay, I closed my eyes and she truly has a pretty voice. However, I am thinking they may not want another one of those "sweet ones"!

01-20-2005, 03:35 PM	#10
tmlw1971 Church Girl Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Where Ever I Am Age: 38 Posts: 322	I loved OJ (Osbourne) & Carrie. Looking forward to them. as for the music teacher, I hope she got al of her crying out. I hate to see how she'll respond to Simon's critique's live on stage in front of an audience.