Well it figures the one guy with a personality (Heejun) is also the worst singer. But god he's hilarious and I love that J Lo and Randy haven't figured out it's all a joke yet, and keep critiquing him like this is some serious Juliard shiz. Hello? He's deadpan and he's laughing at you! This is why we need Simon. He would've known what Heejun was up to, called it "absolutely dreadful", and turned him into the next Sanjaya, which would've been amazing! And I can't believe Steven woke up from his nap long enough to be the most perceptive judge, but he totally had Heejun's number and was PISSED about it. "Music is gonna kick your ass."
I have to say though, a lot of the singing is surprising me from week to week. Jessica owned the night on Whitney week, then Joshua ripped off his jacket all "Take THAT bitch!", and now Older Blonde Chick and Girl Formerly Known as Other Older Blonde Chick* told those youngsters to sit their asses down because Elise and Erika are gonna blow it up tonight!
It's too bad we know how this is all gonna pan out (Philip/Jessica F2 duh) cuz man, think how enjoyable this show would be if we had Simon and two judges worth a damn who'd have the balls to call Jessica the worst performance last week (thereby setting up her spectacular comeback this week), and tell Philip he's falling into a douchey, lazy rut and stop dressing like a hobo already. How the competition would seem like it could go in ANY direction with Jessica, Philip, Colton, Erika, Elise and Joshua all delivering at least one GREAT performance already and Hollie and Skylar seem capable of doing that soon. We could then feel as if we're discovering a frontrunner rather than being force-fed one. The way Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks, David Cook and Kris Allen weren't preordained winners and we were somehow a part of their evolution.
But instead we get "Everyone's great!", crawfish, goosies (still not happening, J Lo), real time with Jimmy, and -- to borrow from Deandre who's totally going home tomorrow night -- LORD HAVE MERCY, let's just freaking read Jessica the runner-up speech (if the reigning Idol can't fulfill his duties blah blah) and give Philip Phillips the sash he won't wear cuz it's not grey, and call it a day already.
(*Hollie Cavanagh is threatening to turn into Other Older Blonde Chick if she keeps wearing Miss Havisham's clothes and doesn't lose her stiff stage presence)