6/5 Show Discussion **Spoilers**

[Krom]

Originally Posted by jacobson00

is it me or does anybody think that another singer or singers will win.

Its a given that this will happen. The only other kind of performer who has even a chance of that kind of mass appeal would be a dancer, and the chances of that happening are... slim to none.

[Google]

 

[jacobson00]

the reason i am saying that is because, the british judge didn't like noone but the singers, even though some of the non-singers were actually good,

[Leftcoaster]

This may read weird because my screen doesn't show this as a covered show, so I wrote as if there weren't any posts. I'm going to leave it as is rather than edit.

America’s Got Talent

Does it?

Though this is a reality show, it isn’t surprising it isn’t covered here, all things considered. {I couldn’t/still don’t see this listed as a covered show. Thanks to Leo for the link}I’ve never watched it before, but it appeared as potentially entertaining to me as the other available options last night so I gave it a look.

The 2 hour episode I watched left me with questions, beginning with whether it is always 2 hours, but especially how they move from the initial stage that I viewed to doling out a million bucks to an act at the end considering that the vast majority of those shown appear to have shown all they have to offer in the minute or two that was allotted to them their first time on stage. Other than a few singing acts, there appeared to me to be little room for improvement in skill or honing talent nor any appreciable expansion of their act.

The show makes no pretense about not being kissing cousin close to American Idol in at least certain ways, starting with the judging talent. I saw Simon Cowell’s name in the credits as an executive producer, and his influence was apparent; especially his clone Piers Someoneoranother. Paula’s slot is filled by Sharon Osborne, and the third judge is David, who I was guessing about until about midway through the show. There was a series of texting commercials/contest that ran the length of the show where they named the judges as Piers, Sharon, and something for the third I just never could manage to capture with my ear. I went through thinking it might be The Hob, The Hod, The Hog, and {laughingly} The Hot before one of the acts referred to him as either Mr. or David Hasselhoff.

Ohhhh. The Hoff. Mystery solved.

Except for this one. I’m familiar with his name, but not the man, other than he enjoys being filmed while drunkenly eating his burgers off the floor. Where should I know this man from otherwise? Anyhow, he seems to be the Randy that exhorts acts to bring it on. Irritatingly so; he’s at least as overdone with his prompting as Randy, in his own way.

The {new} host this season, which I must have heard somewhere on the show, is Jerry Springer. I’d just about started to verbalize to myself that I like Jerry Springer much more than the Jerry Springer show when America’s Got Talent turned decidedly Jerry Springerish, as Sharon flounced off stage in high dungeon mode ranting about something with Piers {and cameras} following to suck it all up and milk it for all it was worth for presumed entertainment purposes.

Moving on selectively to the stage talent, and in order that may differ from what was shown, the show begins with Tony, a Barry White wannabe who does indeed sound more than a little similar to Barry. He comes on wearing a robe and for inexplicable to me reason, after beginning to sing his chosen tune guesses his act is well served by doffing his robe and treating us all to his man chesties and watermelon gut.

He guessed wrong. Bye bye, Tony. Being a big, well or over fed man didn’t seem to hurt Barry White, but I don’t recall his incorporating skinning down and including the wiggle-jiggle into his performances.

Then there was The Dutton’s, a Country Music act that included their entire Branson, Missouri family. I wonder a little about what influence Branson has had, if any, on their act. In chicken or the egg terms, which came first, their act or the influence of living in a Country act Mecca which got them to thinking about developing an act of their own?

Whichever it is, they are pretty entertaining; at least in the small dose dished out during their audition. Barely controlled chaos is what it came across as, everyone in the act, constant motion and switching of instruments leading up to 4 or 5 of the adults doing a workout on their violins while each played the NEXT persons instrument. The Dutton’s move on to the next round, but not before Piers attempts to extort a promise to snuff half the members of the family in return, believing there are JUST TOO MANY DUTTON’S. I’m agreeing with Piers, even before Jerry trots yet another pint sized one out on stage in his arms. Sharon and David disagree with Piers, either because that’s their scripted role or because they actually believe the horde aids the act. Piers DID have it right. Some of those Dutton’s are just downright talented on multiple instruments. Including the whole family in the act is misplaced loving loyalty; if the aim is to win a million bucks rather than bond as a family.

Megan appeared, first nicely teasing the camera about what her act entails before being shown arriving on stage with a puppet on each arm. Nice work creating those figures, Megan, and she’s a pretty darn good ventriloquist to boot, doing a three-way {I know, I know; what a surprise} rendition of ‘Supercalifragilisticexpialido cious’. Nicely done. I forget, she may have squeaked through to the next round, but I believe hers was the first act shown dismissed by at least one judge of being good enough to entertain no one beyond kids.

Elvis’s sad sack not much of a twin wannabe arrived in the house, threatening to ooze out of the seams of his jumpsuit at any moment and swiftly got triple X’d {XXX} out of commission before he opened his mug. {To clarify, each judge has a buzzer. Clicking on the buzzer highlights their corresponding X. If and when all three X’s light up, your act is over. They then vote yea or nea. Sometimes.} Following Whatsisface’s humiliating pre-emptive Triple X’ing, and the ragging on his appearance from the judges, Jerry Springer appears on stage to plead his case, saying to give the guy a break, “he’s been dead 25 years”. The judges relent and allow Elvisman to sing. He gets as far as “Please, release me, let me go…” before the judges grant his wish and do just that. One X lighting up on “release me”, the other two on “let me go”. Elvis exits stage C-Ya and says something like they never gave him a chance, and just for a split second actually sounds like Elvis. We’re then treated to Jerry solemnly informing us that “Elvis has left the building, and he isn’t coming back”.

Little Ericka decides she’s going to follow in the footsteps of last seasons half pint champion, including singing what I think was her signature tune or the one that won her the big bucks. In her intro she’s self assured to the point of coming across cocky, I believe??? Going so far as to state she was going to out sing the reigning champ when asked if she believed she could do the song justice. Piers X’s her early on, and I don’t blame him. She’s not terribly bad, but she’s not all that good either. After she’s done, David says “We have to be honest, but we’re going to be nice….Piers?” Apparently Piers wasn’t listening to that prompt, because he promptly rips Ericka a new one and serves notice to all the other wannabe clones in the pipeline that he hates them already. Attaboy, Piers. I’m starting to like this dude, though that broadside was waaay HARSH. So long, Ericka.

A bald bulletheaded cab driver{?} named Mr. Bill lurches onstage. Hearing him identify himself in a monotone, looking at him with his stony expression and off-kilter eye-glasses I’m guessing that this is the beginning of a droll stand-up comic routine. Nope. Mr. Bill starts singing a version of “Climb every mountain” that resembles a funeral dirge to me. Weird song choice for a man, or so it seems to me while listening. Piers is quick out of the gate with his X, and the audience joins in with their distain, hooting and jeering, some adding the physical addition of crossing their arms in X’s. This appears to trigger something in Mr.Bill, and he brings the song home in laudable manner, at least better than the dismal start. Piers states that he may have been too quick with his X’ing, having noticed the same transformation I did. I believe that it was David who states that if they were awarding the million bucks based on personality, Mr. Bill would win. A real What The Heck?! moment for me, because the most notable thing about Mr. Bill other than that he has some heart is that he has NO apparent personality. NONE.

Inexplicably, I believe Mr. Bill squeaks through to the next round. Talented this man IS NOT.

An singing trio named Southern Girls makes it to the next round. The judges gushed over them, I thought they were just alright, with one lead singer with two back-ups Supremes style. Not bad, at least they’ve got the potential to show something different down the line.

David and Joe Letterman were something to behold. As I recall, it was them that when asked what constituted their act stated that the act would speak for itself. Given the go ahead prompt, they promptly removed their shirts, and accompanied the song Dueling Banjos associated with the movie Deliverance, making their pecs approaching man boobs dance along to the beat of the tune. Entertaining as all get out to see.

Once.

A Texas girl who’s name I missed as she spoke about her palsy did make it through, doing well enough with ‘Who will save your soul’. Huge smile. The judges liked her singing as well as her looks.

I also missed the name of a visually entertaining act where the guy moved around within several connected slinky looking cloth tubes. He didn’t make it through. What he did do was scare David, who equated the act to a human colon hungering for a little Hoffbrau.

Missed her name, but the most Springeresque moment of the show followed the act of a 9 year old girl who performed what I think she called a competitive cheerleading routine. She made a nice entrance, doing a little flip, and was asked what she’d do if she won the million bucks. It appeared she hadn’t given to much thought about the cash, because she paused more than a moment before responding that she’d get her mom a new car. Her routine was OK but not at all spectacular. I mostly liked what appeared to be her favorite or signature move, flipping with one hand held to her hip, mostly because I don’t believe I’ve seen that before.

Piers starts ripping her after her performance, or rather her mom, suggesting that this was all about her moms wishes and desire for money and cars, something the little girl steadfastly and credibly {to my eye} denied. Jerry then dragged mom on stage for an inquisition session, saying that even though parents aren’t ordinarily allowed onstage, Piers had called her out in effect on national tv and she had a right to defend herself. Oh dear, I’ve seen where these ‘defenses’ head elsewhere. Sharon joins in in laying into mom, I’m recalling, but then she gets a hair up her rump and storms off, mutter ranting about I’m not sure what. She says its Horrendous {or something} but what? Piers’ behavior? The mom’s? I didn’t know then, I still don’t. She’s removing her eyelashes for visual effect, saying she’s removing her makeup and going home. {Sharon? Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. Actually, don’t say it at all; JUST DO IT}

Piers ambles off as well, I don’t know, perplexed or something at her behavior? This is all filmed off stage like they do on the Springers, Montels and such. All this while, the girl and her mom remain on stage, because they haven’t been officially dismissed. Uh huh. Riiiiight. Give me a break. That came across about as cheesily scripted as can be accomplished. Back stage, Sharon comes out to talk with Piers, and after chatting it up for a few someone informs them they need to go out and vote, like they’re freaking Senators or somesuch. They express surprise. ‘They’re STILL there?!’

Take some acting lessons, you two.

They go back to the bullpen and Sharon begins by apologizing for her departure. The little girl {Little TROOPER, I should say} graciously says OK much micer than I’d probably manage in her place. Each of the judges say something nice about her before going on to state she’s not quite ready yet, but come back again. She thanks each of them, and off they go.

Brandon, the eye-candy airialist comes on bare chested and fit before climbing up and tangling himself creatively in some sheeting. He doesn’t make it through, but Sharon invites him to come to her house and practice, mentioning her tall ceilings.

Down, girl.

Sam Adu, who gets his inspiration from Sir Elton John and Stevie Wonder comes on and says he’s going to attempt to make Stevie Wonder proud, or maybe it was do ‘I Wish’ justice by performing it. Whatever it was he said he was going to do, he didn’t. Accompanying himself on an electronic keyboard, he, in one of the judges words “Murdered Stevie Wonder”. Simply dreadful.

The Jabberwockeez Crew makes it through {waitaminite, I THINK they did}. I don’t see how, or imagine how they could possibly win. Their act seems far too limited. They’re a too large group of {mostly} synchronized rap dancers? I don’t know how else to term it. They did a good enough job, but its an act that seems to me as one that once you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it.

Bob, Rose and their dogs entertained me, but not the judges. Bob is Bob, Rose {a cutie} is his daughter, and their dogs are, well, you can guess. Their act is something Bob picked up from his dad, and the dogs were mostly rescued from the pound, something David liked. I’ve seen better doggie acts, but I wouldn’t mind seeing this one again anyhow. The doggie at the end was especially cute balancing on the rope standing on hind legs. Piers punked out and went cruel, suggesting that a couple of the dogs were good and the rest should go back to the pound.

BAD, BAD BOY, Piers!

The show saved the best for last.

Intoducing Andrew, Sax player/Freak Boy extraordinaire. The extraordinare DOES NOT pertain to his sax playing, though that wasn’t bad. This dude was mesmerizing. I can easily anticipate hearing about him in the future, though it may be attached to an ax murder. He gives the distinct impression of someone who is {choose one or more of the following}:

Riding the crest of a kick butt cocktail of pharmacuticals
In dire need of a kick butt cocktail of pharmacuticals
An exchange student from Bizarroland
Graced with Jim Carrey type insanity

Watching his facial mannerisms, I know I’d like to party with that dude for one evening, even though he looks like the type of guy that when he plays ‘I got your nose’, he’s probably speaking literally through a blood drenched half full mouth.

They voted him through, fearing for their lives if they didn’t might not have played a primary role in the vote.

Go Andrew!

[ArchieComic Fan]

Leftcoaster, that synopsis is worthy of Post of the Week! Thank you for putting such an entertaining spin on the show. To clear up about Sharon's walk-off, I'm pretty sure she was upset at Piers for the way he treated the little girl. I don't think she agreed with him about the mother but I could be wrong. I admit my attention wasn't on the show 100%.

I can't believe you didn't know who the Hoff was though (Knight Rider, Baywatch) He's a legend in his own mind, that's for sure.

[Leftcoaster]

Thanks for your comments ArchieComic Fan. You were too kind.

I'm pretty sure Sharon aligned with Piers about looking down on something, I think the assumption that kid acts are really parent acts performed through their proxy offspring.

Thanks for the Hoff origins. Neither of those shows were ones I watched. I never saw a moment of Knightrider {was that the one with a talking car?} and though I can't say for certain I never saw a moment of Baywatch, that may be from the parodies and clips I was exposed to over time, not actually tuning in.

The more I recall his judging performance, the less I like it speaking about those prompts. Is his post position one where it is part of his role to say things like 'Bring it on', 'Wow us' and the like, do you think, or is he just personally drawn to do so where the others aren't?

I think if I was there I'd give every act either no verbal prompt or a civil 'Get on with it'.

[skyhigh79]

Having been a stage mom to two girls who danced, I thought Piers was beyond horrible. Yes, the little girl didn't do her own hair and makeup, but that doesn't mean she didn't want it done that way... believe me, these pint size performers have very strong opinions and desires for how they want to look.

Secondly, whether he felt the mom was using the kid, it still hurts tremendously when someone calls your mom all kinds of not nice things. He had no business being so rude and mean. All he had to do was say she wasn't ready for this level of competition. After she left the stage her could let the viewers in on his thoughts on stage moms, but not in the little girl's presence.

Thirdly, many of these kids have agents and they were called to attend these auditions. It wasn't just some pushy parents searching the internet looking for ways to make a million bucks. One of my girls gets calls for this all the time and I have never wanted her to go near it. It is an invitation for abuse in my mind. It isn't fun to be ridiculed, nor is it worth the prize money either.

I would agree that the mother should have known that her daughter didn't have the kind of talent needed for this show and should have had the sense to turn down the audition.

[prhoshay]

I honestly believe that God put parents on this earth to say, "No."