Welcome to another episode of The Amazing Race. Last week we bid adieu to those feisty geriatrics, Fran and Barry, leaving only four teams to battle for the million dollar prize.
Our teams are still in Perth, Australia, home of this week’s Pit Stop. I don’t know how many of the teams are using the mandatory rest period for rest- there seems to be a lot of tension among the teams, particularly between MoJo and the Hippies. Apparently BJ & Tyler are “sleazy,” while Monica & Joseph are angels. Hmmm… we’ll see if that continues.
Fighting is Fun.
First up for our racers this leg: a trip to Swan Bells Tower, home of 18 church bells given as a gift from England to celebrate Australia’s Bicentennial. On arrival, the teams have to make their way to the top of the tower for their next clue.
Eric & Jeremy are the first out of the Pit Stop, followed closely by Monica & Joseph, then BJ & Tyler. Joseph declares that they’re going to beat those damn, dirty hippies, and Monica tosses her Barbie- hair in agreement. I’m glad she was able to fit her blow dryer and hairspray in her backpack.
Yolanda & Ray aren’t too far behind the other teams, and Yolanda admits that this is the longest time the two have ever spent together and it’s been a learning experience. TAR- getting couples ready for cohabitation, (or messy breakups), since 2001.
The teams arrive at Swan Bells… only to realize that it doesn’t open until 8am and they’ve got about 7 hours to kill on the mean streets of Perth. Monica asks a passing bloke if there’s a cheap place to stay in the area, and he replies that she can stay at his place for free, ha, ha. Joseph is not amused. But, when is he amused?
Ray & Yolanda go off alone, and the other teams make fun of them, saying that Yolanda really has Ray on a short leash. Joseph jokes that Monica has him on a short leash as well, which I don’t believe for one second, and Eric says he doesn’t let Jeremy out of the house. Just adding fuel to that fire, boys.
BJ & Tyler wisely stay out of the leash discussion, but conspire to repeatedly bring up the fact that Eric is flirting outrageously with Monica. They think this will make Joseph crazy, and I think they’re probably right. It doesn’t seem to take much to set him off.
Taxi for Doug Brubaker?
At 8am when the teams are let into Swan Bells, they see that their next task is to journey 1700 miles to Darwin, Australia, find the marked cars, drive themselves to Crocodylys Park and wade into a pool of hungry crocs to find their next clue. Ooh, scary! I wonder if someone will get eaten?
All the teams call for taxis, but silly Tyler and Ray book the cabs under their own names. First rule of racing- never use your own name. Jeremy knows this, and calls for a taxi for “Doug Brubaker,” and then has Eric call back and cancel Tyler’s and Ray’s taxis. Eric, Jeremy and Joseph have a good laugh over the situation, because those other teams have no idea what’s happening.
One taxi shows up and the hippies jump in, only to face the wrath of Joseph. Tyler is the first to get out, and when BJ asks him why he left, Tyler replies that it wasn’t worth the fit Joseph was going to throw. BJ thinks it’s probably worth a million dollars to piss someone off, and I worry that there might be trouble brewing in paradise for these two.
BJ & Tyler and Ray & Yolanda soon realize that there ain’t no taxis coming for them, especially when they call the cab company and are informed that the cabs have been cancelled. The other teams immediately decide that MoJo cancelled their cabs… well; actually they assume that Joseph cancelled the cabs, probably because Monica isn’t bright enough to dial a phone or couldn’t stop crying long enough to do it or something.
Eric & Jeremy do not set the other teams straight, which cements their role as evil geniuses of the race. Or does it? While the other teams call for new cabs, the Frat Boys are still waiting, and waiting, and waiting for their cab. The other two teams get picked up, but there’s still no taxi for Doug Brubaker. The boys realize the error of their ways, state that “karma really bit us in the ass,” and find a cab to take them to their next destination. They’re happy that “at least our canceling worked.”
What a croc.
MoJo arrive at the airport before the other teams, and Joseph tries to persuade the clerk not to tell any of the other teams about the early flight to Darwin by pimping out his girlfriend. I guess the clerk is not interested, because all of the teams end up on the same flight. BJ & Tyler ask Joseph about the taxi cancellation, and he ignores them, but is actually able to piece it together that the Frat Boys let the other teams believe he was responsible to the taxi-fiasco. Wow. His deduction skills are better than I gave him credit for.
The teams arrive at Crocodylus Park, but it doesn’t open until 9am, so that gives them all plenty of time to bicker and pick at each other. The Hippies start their Eric/ Monica plan of attack, and Eric just spurns them on by saying he’s going to put some meat on Joseph so that the crocodiles eat him and leave Monica available for the taking. I’m not sure what kind of “meat” he’s referring to, but I hope his comments don’t cause friction within his own team.
At 9am, the gates open and the teams rush in to face the crocodiles. They pass a sign that says “Warning- Crocodiles bite. They can also move really quickly.” Really? Crocodiles bite? Thanks for that tidbit. I hope the teams are all paying attention, because I would hate for someone to lose an appendage because they don’t know that crocs bite.
The teams put on rubber waders and venture out into the croc pond. We see a lot of footage of snapping, riled up crocodiles, but I don’t actually see any crocs in the pools our teams are wading through, and the water seems pretty calm. Maybe they have to wade through the pool of docile, retired crocs. They’re warned to move slowly with their hands up, and to hand over their wallets if the crocodiles ask.
Up next? The teams have to drive to Batchelor Airfield for their next clue. Warning: Yield Ahead.
Sometimes life is just not fair, Monica.
The teams jump in their pricey SUVs for the drive to Batchelor Airfield. BJ & the Bear have repeatedly warned MoJo that they will be Yielded, so both teams are anxious to make it to the clue box first. MoJo arrives at the airfield a split second before the Hippies, and it’s a mad dash to the box… and it’s the Hippies first, which means that poor MoJo are getting the Yield.
They don’t handle it well, and that’s an understatement. Monica keeps repeating that they arrived at the airfield first, and it is not fair that they got Yielded! Well, Mon, I don’t really think it’s fair that I’ve had to watch your whiny ass all season, so suck it up!
Roadblock! Those teams that have not been Yielded have some skydiving in their immediate futures! One team member needs to pick a plane, climb to 12,000 feet, and tandem skydive with an instructor to the ground below. BJ finally gets to do a cool roadblock that does not involve digging in the sand for hours, and Tyler feels guilty that they Yielded MoJo. Oh well, there’s no turning back now, Hippies.
The editors burn a lot of tape on MoJo at the clue box, and here’s a quick summary:
Monica: “Whaa, whaa. This is not fair. Why did we get Yielded? I hate my life!”
Joseph: “Grow up! Why are you crying? Cheer up!”
Monica: “I don’t want to cheer up. Stop looking at me! Ttow, my ass!”
…and a lot more of the same. When the Hippies finish the roadblock and run past them, Joseph says that if he wasn’t in the race, he’d beat the Hippies down. This is a pretty stupid statement, because if he wasn’t in the race, he probably wouldn’t even know BJ & Tyler, and therefore would have no reason to want to harm them. Think about what you’re saying before you open your mouth, Joseph!
My peg leg!
From the airfield, the teams need to get to Litchfield National Park and find the Magnetic Termite Mounds. Sounds fun! Beej & Tyler arrive first, and BJ warns Tyler not to touch the mounds, because the termites will devour all the wood in their bodies. Tyler responds “My peg leg!” And I just about fall off my couch because I am laughing so hard. Whew! Let me wipe the tears out of my eyes so that I can see what the next task is.
Detour- Wet or Dry. In Wet, the teams must drive 6 miles to a roadside park where they will hike and swim a 1 mile course down a jungle river inhabited by huge spiders and poisonous plants. In Dry, the teams must drive 6 miles to an intersection, then another 6 miles off-road to a natural rock formation called Lost City. Teams must choose a didgeridoo, follow the sound of music in the air, and locate an aborigine playing a didgeridoo with the same patters that’s on theirs. The aborigine will teach them to play a note, and once both members have successfully played, they will receive their next clue.
Teams Hippies and Frat Boys choose Wet, while MoJo, (once they’re mercifully un-Yielded) and Ray & Yolanda choose Dry.
I really don’t like spiders.
BJ decides to do the swim/ hike in his underwear, but Tyler doesn’t wear underwear, so the red cords will have to do. Eric and Jeremy stripped down to their boxer briefs before they even arrived at the jungle river, but I think those two probably take any chance they get to run around in just their underwear.
This task does not look fun. Both teams complain that it is taking them forever to get through the course, and it’s slippery and there are enormous spiders everywhere! Both teams finally make it through the course, and get their next clue which tells them to head to the Lake Bennett, the next Pit Stop for this race.
Monica and Joseph blow.
Ray & Yolanda make it to Lost City, pick up their didgeridoo, and find their aborigine in only two tries, and master the note within a few minutes. They’re off to the Pit Stop.
MoJo know they’re in last place, and tell us that the Hippies really lit a fire under them with their Yield. They reach the Lost City, find their aborigine on the first try, and master the didgeridoo within no time. By the time they leave the Detour, they’re in second place behind Ray and Yolanda.
First to the mat are Ray and Yolanda. They are really excited, and become even more so when Phil tells them that because they are the winners of this leg of the race, they are each winning a year’s lease on a Mercedes M Class, just like the one they’ve been driving all over the day. Ray jokes that he hopes the steering wheel will be on the right side, (and by “right,” I assume he means “left.”), and Phil assures him that the cars will be all set to drive in America.
And where are the rest of the teams? They’re all driving furiously to the Pit Stop in a line, one right after the other: The Frat Boys, The Hippies, and MoJo. They all know it’s going to come down to a footrace to the mat, and they’re ready.
All three teams pull up at about the same time and take off for the mat on foot. I’m shocked that there isn’t any shoving or tripping, but I guess the teams aren’t ready to play that dirty yet.
Eric & Jeremy are second to reach the mat, followed quickly by Monica/ Joseph/ BJ/ Tyler. I honestly can’t tell who arrived first, but I guess it was Monica & Joseph, because Phil said so, and the man is never wrong. BJ & Tyler look scared for a moment, until Phil tells him that this leg was another predetermined non-elimination round. BJ & Tyler then look scared for another reason- Phil has to take all of their money, and all of their possessions but the clothes on their backs. For BJ this includes a t-shirt and boxer shorts. He’s not even wearing shoes! Really? He couldn’t have put shoes on in the car on the way to the Pit Stop? Foresight is an incredible thing sometimes, BJ. I hope next week doesn’t include a task at a broken glass factory.
Tune in next week to see Monica have a breakdown of Flo-like proportions. I can’t wait!
I am fine-tuning my didgeridoo skills, but you can reach me at: SueEllenMishke@fansofrealitytv .com