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Thread: Quit Quoting them Already! ~ Ep 12 recap

  1. #1
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Quit Quoting them Already! ~ Ep 12 recap

    Someone here at the FORT had made a point weeks ago, that last year many of the show titles were direct quotes from Flo and/or Zach. This was disappointing news then, because so many of this seasons titleís have come from the mouths of Kelly and Jon. This week was no exception, and I must admit, I am worried. Iíd like to credit the person who had that insight weeks ago, but with over 300 threads and 13,000 posts in the TAR forum I donít have the patience to find it. Sorry. You deserve the credit, so if youíre reading this, please credit yourself!

    With only three teams left, we got to hear a little more from each team.

    David and Jeff, who have been virtually invisible, actually got quite a bit of interview time. We didnít learn all that much about them, but we did get to see them. They feel good about how they have raced, and think they have made few mistakes (?) and have run a good race. Their goal for this leg is to come in first again, and increase the lead they will have in starting the final leg.

    Have they forgotten about the equalizers?

    Kelly and Jon admit to their fighting, but think that they have been doing great. Jon feels that the other two teams will be so worried about each other, that he and Kelly will be able to sneak by and win the race.

    Do they really think they can sneak by when they canít keep their mouths shut?

    Reichen and Chip are happy to still be in the race, and realize that they made a huge mistake in the last leg. They also feel that they are both trying to hard to prove something to the other, ultimately messing them up as a team.

    I wish I had a smart alecky question to end this segment with, but can you believe I canít think of a thing?

    The Particulars

    Teams will leave the Pit Stop 12 hours after their arrival and make their way to the Australian Woodshed in Terny Hills where they will have to find a clue buried in a huge pile of sheared wool.

    That clue instructs teams to get to Brisbane Airport where they need to get a flight to Cairnes. Once there, they get a marked car and drive themselves to the Wild World Zoo. At the zoo we are treated to a loooooong commercial. Teams must pick up a Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera and take it to the crocodile pen. Once there one team member will feed Sultan while the other takes a picture with the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera. Teams must then take the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera to the souvenir shop, put it in the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera Dock and develop the picture they took with the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera. The next clue will be on the back of the photo.

    That clue directs teams to Wangetti Beach where this weeks Detour awaits the teams. The choices at the beach are Saddle or Paddle. If a team chooses saddle, they must ride a horse along 1.5 miles of beach to look for flags that mark clue clusters. There are 4 such clusters along the beach, but only one of them contains the actual clue. The others instruct teams to try again. Teams choosing Paddle must first inflate a little boat, then row it out to an orange buoy where the clue waits.

    The clue found in the detour instructs teams to drive to the town of Gelatin and find a place called Off Road Rush. Once there they find this weeks Roadblock which requires a team member to drive a racing buggy (with a race instructor in the vehicle) along a 7 mile course. Upon completion of the track, the clue will be given.

    This weeks Pit Stop, the last one not in the United States, is located 50 miles away on Ellis Beach located on the edge of the Coral Sea.

    Here we go:

    David and Jeff 10:41pm

    The pair stops at a gas station just moments after reading their clue, and get absolutely fantastic directions to the town of Terny Hills, and seem a bit disappointed to learn that the Woolshed will not open until 6am the next morning. Itís always depressing to watch your lead dwindle as other teams arrive to wait with you.

    After sleeping in the Mercedes SUV they wake looking refreshed and waste no time in running toward their wool pile. There are three stalls that look to be about the size of a one-car garage and each is filled with what seems to be 3 feet of wool. Thatís a lot of sweaters.

    The two start grabbing huge armfuls of the wool and tossing it outside of the stall in a mad attempt to locate the clue. Unfortunately after removing all the wool, they realize that it may have been a better strategy to actually look through the wool they were tossing out. They had to begin again, and search a little more carefully.

    After finally getting the clue, they head off for the airport and get themselves a 7:45 flight to Cairnes.

    They have to deal with some immaturity on the road as they try to get to the Zoo, but are in good position once they arrive. After reading the clue David decides to feed Sultan while Jeff snaps the photo using the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera. They take off to the souvenir shop and develop the photo at the docking station specifically made for the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera.

    In the past I have given these guys a hard time about their lack of a good sense of direction, but it seems like they picked one up somewhere, as this week they are getting to all the marked places in good time.

    Once at the beach they decide to go for Saddle as their detour choice and head off to the right, which turns out to be the right way, and they find the correct cluster of clues on what I believe is the first try.

    They are off to the Roadbock where it is up to David to drive the race buggy.

    He takes off, and I am not sure he didnít suffer some sort of leg cramp that prevented him from taking his foot off the gas. He flew, literally, through the course, being airborne on more than one occasion. The driving instructor that was riding with him gave them the clue and the two headed off for the Pit Stop. They arriveÖ

    Kelly and Jon 10:59pm

    After getting bad directions to the from a man in the parking lot, the two have to stop at a gas station to get more directions that actually get them to the shed.

    They see another team hanging out waiting, and realize that the place wonít open Ďtil the morning.

    Kelly wakes up in fine form, and starts the day by ribbing Reichen and Chip. Now anyone who has ever read any of my recapís knows that I am not to fond of the characters known to us as Kelly and Jon. I am still not fond of them, but I have to say that I donít think the ribbing was mean spirited, and some of the things Jon said wereÖ. gaspÖ.kind of funny.

    Sorry, I had to go wash my mouth out with soap.

    So anyhoo, Jon makes comments pretending he is Chip. Talking about his days in Connecticut shearing sheep, and the fact that he owns lots of wool sweaters, meaning he should be good at this portion of the race.

    The married couple doesnít think itís funny, and simply because of that fact, I think Kelly and Jon should stop. If itís not fun for everyone STOP.

    The gates open, and Kelly and Jon run to one of the piles and start digging. Kelly makes the comment that the wool smells like ass. This confirms my belief that she must be a bitch, because only a dog should know what ass smells like. SeriouslyÖ Iím 36 years old and have no freakiní clue what that smells like.

    They dig through what looks to be half the pile, and find the clue. They take off for the car and drive away toward the airport, getting themselves a 7:45am flight to Cairnes.

    Once there they get out of the airport and drive the car to the Wild World Zoo all the while trying to make it difficult for other teams to pass. Now to me this is a fine thing to do. It was all legal and they didnít hurt anyone while trying to maintain a lead. Still, because I donít like them, it pissed me off. Grow up and drive.

    They head off to Sultans enclosure where Jon will feed while Kelly will snap the picture with the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera. Unfortunately, neither one of them grabbed the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera, so they have to head back to the clue box where the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera waits for them.

    After taking the photo, they run to the shop and put the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera in the dock, and developed their picture. Kelly thinks itís one for the fridge. Why did she and I have to share a thought??

    They get back to the car and start to drive. It seems like they have no problem finding the town of Wangetti, but somehow canít find the beach. They find out from a nice young man that they have passed it, and it puts them back at least 15 minutes.

    Once they do arrive at the beach they quickly decide to Saddle up and look for the clusters of clues. Following another team they have an easier time finding the correct flag, but Jon wanders right past the cluster, meaning Kelly actually had to do something and grab it herself.

    They head off for the Road Block where Kelly informs Jon that it is her turn. I figure the pattern out as 5 RBís Jon, 1 RB Kelly, 5 RBís Jon 1 RB Kelly. She decides to let him have this one too, and it really was a nice gesture as he looked as though he was going to pee himself with excitement at the thought of driving one of the buggies.

    Once behind the wheel, he offers it to Kelly one more time. She laughs and cheers him on to start. He revs the engine andÖ.stalls? Iím not sure really, I donít think the engine died, but I know he went about a foot. She is laughing and repeatedly yells how embarrassing it must be for him. I am sure thatís why he decides the best way to drive this car is by not letting off the throttle.

    Although this worked for David itís a disaster for Jon. We get a couple of aerial shots of the course, and as I am asking my kids how long they think it would take me to run the course we witness Jon take one of the curves to wide and fast and the buggy flips.

    Kelly screams. I donít blame her in the least. She and some walkie-talkie guy go running towards the vehicle. Sheís yelling for Jon, but heís not answering. Once she arrives he is being helped out of the buggy and is laughing. This causes a justified shoulder punch from Kelly.

    The buggy gets turned right side up again, and Jon climbs in to finish the course. He finishes with out incident and receives the clue directing them to Ellis Beach and the Pit Stop where they arriveÖ

    Reichen and Chip 11:33pm

    They make a good decision and ask a cab driver for directions to the woolshed. They get there and realize, as we all have, that this is equalizer number one. While David and Jeff were not happy with this turn of events, Reichen and Chip seemed rather pleased.

    As I mentioned above, Kelly and Jon ribbed the guys a little in the morning, and it really upset them. I honestly donít know why. If you canít laugh with Kelly and Jon, you can always laugh at them.

    The pair runs into the area with the wool, and dig through the mess looking for their clue.

    After finding it, they drive themselves to the airport and are happy to get onto a 7:45am flight.

    After finding their marked car at the airport in Cairns, the two waste no time finding the Wild World Zoo, where Chip feeds Sultan, while Reichan mans the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera and snaps the picture, after a quick ďplease be carefulĒ to his husband. After taking the photo with the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera, the pair makes their way to the shop to develop the picture taken with the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera. Unfortunately, they canít seem to get the dock (the one made specifically for the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera) to work, meaning it takes them an extra few minutes to get the clue. They seem upset that the other teams are getting so lucky. Hmmm, lucky that they could read the directions? Where did luck play into this?

    Anyone remember the days when it took weeks to get pictures back. Wow, thanks to the Kodak Easy Share Digital Camera we neednít worry about things like that anymore.

    After asking another cabbie for directions, the pair drives straight to Wangetti Beach. Having a love for horses (all animals it seems, which endears them to me), they choose Saddle, and seem very comfortable on the horses. Choosing to turn left was not a great idea, and I bet they wish they had seen a cabbie to ask directions from.

    They find the first cluster: Try again. Second cluster: Try again. In fact Iím pretty sure it wasnít until they located cluster number 4 that they finally received the envelope containing the clue.

    They are hurrying a bit much and Chip tries to start the car without holding in the clutch. For those of you unfamiliar with a standard transmission, if you try to start it without the clutch depressed the car will lurch forward. Although this might seem like a good way to get somewhere during this time of high gas prices, I really wouldnít recommend it. It turns out that Chip ran over Reichenís foot and this really pissed Reichen off. After yelling at Chip about it, Chip decides to call Reichan an Ass----. (Side noteÖ. At my house we find it very interesting that of those two words it was the second half that was bleeped, much like I just did with the ----Ö.. why the second half?)

    Sorry. OK, so Chip is mad at Reichen, because he, Chip ran over his, Reichenís foot. I do believe they have been hanging around Kelly and Jon too much. I am thankful the race is coming to an end.

    They make up on the way to the Roadblock where neither one hesitates to have Chip perform the task.

    He gets behind the wheel and takes off. The wheel is shaking in his hand, and it seems as though heís having a hard time controlling the vehicle. This point is driven home by the fact that he keeps hitting branches, and running over the tires that mark the course edges. After finally running over a stump in the woods (no, the track itself is not in the woods), Chip manages to break the buggy. This prompts a watching Reichen to be upset that Chip got a ďbadĒ car.

    The crew is counting the money they will be getting from the producers, in what has to have turned into a much more expensive roadblock than anyone anticipated. After they figure out how much they are making off the crazy Americans, they bring Chip a new buggy, and he finishes the course. He receives his clue and offers up an ďIím sorryĒ as heís getting into the regular car to drive to the Pit Stop where the team arrivesÖ

    Pit Stop at Ellis Beach

    1. David and Jeff, receiving a European vacation
    2. Reichen and Chip
    3. Kelly and Jon

    All three teams will compete in the final leg of the race, to be shown next week. Hereís hoping everyone who watches has power, and there are no storms that need an hour of Doppler Radar coverage.

    My thoughts go out to anyone who was in the middle of the blackout. I hope you got your power back in good time, and that you managed to finish the ice cream from the freezer without getting sick.

    If you would like to contact the author of this recap please email: cali@fansofrealitytv.com
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  2. #2
    Ready? haejin's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    New York City
    Thank you, thank you, cali!!!!!!!!!! I missed it last night due to the blackout, and now I don't feel so clueless anymore! Of course, I did manage to piece some stuff up from other threads here.

    Thanks anyway and great recap!!!!!!

    By the way, the ice cream tasted fine when I took it out of the freezer not too long after the power came back. I have yet to try to milk.

  3. #3
    COMBAT MISSIONS junkie! BravoFan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    At the FORT
    Great job Cali!

    I know I've mentioned the Jon/Kelly quote title thing several times in the past few weeks. I can't be 100% sure that I was the first, but it definitely has had me worried.

    What kind of digital camera was that again?

    Sorry, I had to go wash my mouth out with soap.

    If you canít laugh with Kelly and Jon, you can always laugh at them.

    and there are no storms that need an hour of Doppler Radar coverage.
    "They can only edit what you give them. They cannot manufacture a fictional character out of thin air." (Bill Rancic - 4/04)
    Regarding editing reality TV: "You can't edit IN a bad personality." ("Cali"-11/02)
    BB8 - A "conveyor belt of human garbage." ("Pono" - 9/07)

  4. #4
    FORT Fanatic cajro62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    great job Cali! I believe that I mentioned the quote thingy as well Thanks

  5. #5
    THANKS once again CALI!

  6. #6
    It was you. splatty's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    great recap!

    can't wait for the finale . . although i'll be sad when it's all over (especially if kelly and jon win).

    thanks for introducing me to the show everyone!

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by cali
    Do they really think they can sneak by when they canít keep their mouths shut?

    Bravo Cali and thank you!

  8. #8
    I Think I Can Dance. Aota Bass's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Don't feel too bad to those who missed it...this was a fairly lame episode compared to the rest this season (or the other seasons), since EVERYONE knew it was a non-elimination leg.

    The highlight was when someone (either Chip or Reichen) said Kelly was the biggest-mouthed crocodile of all

    I didn't like ANY of the teams this leg- although I can't really blame Reichen for getting pissed at Chip for running over his foot- probably just a reaction to the pain...

    And Duhvid and Jeff were just so...i don't know...i don't like them. Maybe it's the whole goats thing- I can't STAND goats, never could- they freak me out. Still I just don't like Jeff's condescending tone when talking to the camera, and Duhvid's look of total incomprehension...now that the network is forced to show them more this is really sticking out more to me :oP For some reason I think they'll win...
    And I sing sometimes like my life is at stake because you're only as loud as the noises you make.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by cali
    Someone here at the FORT had made a point weeks ago, that last year many of the show titles were direct quotes from Flo and/or Zach. This was disappointing news then, because so many of this seasons titleís have come from the mouths of Kelly and Jon. This week was no exception, and I must admit, I am worried.
    Seasoned Finale Title: It's Like Adam Building His First House!

    I think this title also direct quote from Kelly, referring to Jon doing a task/road block, naked on the beach.

  10. #10
    Great recap as usual, cali! but here in Singapore, each episode has no title at all.

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