Alright Amazing Race fans, it's time for season number 3. Are you ready? I sure am. I've been doing a lot of traveling myself this summer (India, the Caribbean, Hawaii, NYC and over 20 different states), but I'm sure nothing will compare to what the AR3 Racers have in store. Here's a little pre-race prognostication from one of the men who knows what it takes to win (actually, I'm the only man who knows what it takes to win, seeing that I carried Rob and Tara and Wil carried Chris and Alex). I'll take the teams in the order they're presented on the CBS site (which in my unsurpassed wisdom I realize is also known as "alphabetical order").
Aaron and Arianne - Alright, first of all, Ipod??? We weren't allowed to bring any "electronic devices" with us. What I would have given for some rocking music while cruising up the Great Wall or navigating the streets of New Delhi. This team looks strong because they don't have emotional ties. They're only "friends," but, I can see them being a little on the giddy side. As a result, the fun and frolicking could slow Team Duracell (playing on their double A initials) down a little. I'm guessing about a 5th place finish (but, what do I know). Although, they do have wrist bands…wonder twin powers activate. Oh wait, it's wonder woman that had the wrist bands, never mind.
Andre and Damon - Uh oh, these two are from L.A. L.A. took home gold in AR1. In case you forgot, or weren't watching, the two boring lawyer dudes were from L.A. Another team with no emotional attachment, which is definitely a plus. Also, Team Civil Servant has to be physically fit…Andre's right hand is in shape from all those donuts he's had to raise to his mouth, and Damon has strong hands from sliding down poles. Watch out for these two. Plus, Damon says that "The most important item I am carrying is not in my backpack. It is underneath my hat." It may be a ukulele or a lucky rabbit's foot. We'll have to watch AR3 to find out. I'm handing these two 7th place (but who cares what I have to say).
Andrew and Dennis - Let's hope the first father and son AR team brings us some drama, and I think they will. Putting aside the gay/Baptist thing, I'm focusing on "Both Dennis and Andrew are concerned about keeping clean on the road." Good luck. When I crossed the finish line, the stench emanating from my armpits was so strong it could have knocked over the elephant Rob and I rode to the top of the Amber Fort in Jaipur, India. I have a feeling Team Baptist Cheerleader will struggle, but will entertain us for at least a few episodes. Give them a 9th place finish (if I'm right, I'll kiss the elephant I spoke of above).
Derek and Drew - I'm disappointed right off the bat reading their bio - "Thirty-two-year-old twins Derek and Drew can't recall the last time they got into a physical fight with each other." Well, that sucks…a fist fight from Team Twinbots would have made some great television. They look like a couple of clones of the two robots who won AR1. As a result, they are the only two white, young males on AR3. So what does that mean? They're going to win? It can't happen three times in a row. I think they'll be a strong team, but somewhere in Vietnam they'll be swarmed by the local women and held up long enough to only slide into a 3rd place finish (but, I'm just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe).
Flo and Zach - Go team Alice! All I can think of when I see Flo's name is the waitress from the old sitcom ALICE. Is that wrong? Another "no emotional ties" team…or is it? As was pointed out in the great movie "When Harry Met Sally", guys and girls can't be friends without one of them being sexually attracted to the other. Who knows, maybe the emotion and the "spending every waking moment together for a month" experience will give us some Flo and Zach love. We'll see after these two eek out the victory. Call it a hunch…then again, don't call it a hunch, it's just a wild hair up my butt guess.
Gina and Sylvia - These two have what it takes to win…a diaper changing contest. Sorry Team Homemaker, but I'm just not seeing you two standing on the AR3 victory platform. Although, I am seeing you make it pretty far. Far into the "sequestered city" (the city where they send the eliminated teams) that is. Actually, these two should make it through a few rounds, but will see their demise when they pull into 8th place (I'm sure they'll laugh in my face after they finish in the top 3).
Heather and Eve - Nice, a little female eye candy. That certainly can't hurt. Team pre-esquire could go far using their brains and beauty to travel the world while contemplating why in the world they went to law school. Harvard Law has a great track record (in the form of Rob), but as Eve said in their bio, not many normal people go to Harvard Law (you don't know Rob the way I do). So, I'm guessing that these two will make it farther than any other all female team in AR history, but that they will only be able to eek out a 2nd place finish (hey, you got to pull for the law school grads).
John Vito and Jill - Team 911 is certainly the sentimental favorite. How cool that they started dating after the events of 9/11 brought them closer emotionally. However, this emotional tie could make the race difficult. With a relationship that has only been sustained for shorter than a year, the stress of the race could bring some unwanted baggage and emotion to the surface. Seeing that Drew (of everyone's favorite frat boy team) represented Staten Island well, and secured a 4th place finish, I'm seeing these two slip into the same position (but I don't see too well, so who knows).
Ken and Gerard - What are the chances we could have another team of two bald dudes from New York and New Jersey, one of which is straight and the other of which is gay? I can't believe it. What's that you say, neither Kevin or Drew were gay. Are you sure? Team Fudd actually looks like a lot of fun. They're from the NYC area, so I'm sure they'll be exciting and entertaining, but I'm not sure that they'll be able to overcome their differences enough to focus on the Race. As a result, I'm prognosticating that these two finish 10th (yeah right, I've only got a 1 in 12 chance, so I'm probably wrong).
Michael and Kathy - Team Airfare will self-destruct easily. They don't know each other well enough. I've done the "long distance" thing, and it doesn't work. The easiest way to figure this out is to stick a couple together in a stressful situation where they can't get away from one another. Some people call it marriage, others call it The Amazing Race. They'll make it through the first round, but I see them bowing out in round 2. Say goodbye to them with an 11th place finish (against all odds, these two will probably end up engaged by the end of the trip).
Teri and Ian - Although an emotional relationship is involved, these two have been together long enough to overcome the petty fights that could ensue. Although, this quote from the bio irks me a little bit "As Ian spent the day worrying about his wife's whereabouts, Teri went sightseeing and thoroughly enjoyed herself." How the heck could she take off without telling him where she was going? Oh well, this is typical of most women's' communication skills (no wonder I'm a bachelor). Team Terian will finish somewhere around the middle of the pack after representing well for the "around 50" crowd. Put them in 6th (or put them in 12th, why would I have an inkling where they finish?).
Tramel and Talicia - OK, first things first, the most important thing in Tramel's backpack is "his clothes?" Unless he's going to use them to flog another team while nearing elimination or rappel down a cliff clothes don't do anything on TAR
but make you look good. Obviously that's important since everyone on TAR
is secretly a media whore, but it certainly doesn't help you win the Race. Team Audi (I just love the Audi TT) will have a tough time since they are so far apart in age. I don't know what it is, but I see these two finishing last. Maybe it's just that they're the last team left for me to comment on and I haven't picked a last place finisher (I'm sure Talicia will laugh at me after they win the first round seeing that she's from L.A.)
Well, that's it. I'm sure I won't get a single guess right, but that's why they call it a guess. At least we'll have fun watching, and you'll have fun laughing at me as Tramel and Talicia win and Flo and Zach are gone first. But what do I care, I am writing this sitting in the outdoor piano bar (unfortunately the piano man didn't know the TAR
theme song) of the Kea Lani Resort in Maui (thanks Rosie) watching the sunset through the silhouette of palm trees while sipping a Mai Tai, and you're not. Ahhh, the spoils of winning The Amazing Race. Which of the AR3 teams will have the opportunity to do the same? We'll know in a few months. Let's enjoy the ride and the entertainment in the meantime.