Iím filling in for Cali this week, and thus, dipping my delicate toe into the deep end of the pool, by attempting to take on such a huge project as TAR. I will do my best to fill her shoes (hopefully theyíre comfy). Donít worry, Cali will be back soon. Try to bear with me.
Episode 8 recap ~ Men, Women and Babies
I have heard the term of endearment Ďbabyí enough to last me a lifetime on this show. Remember the drinking games you played when you were young? Or, perhaps, you still do? You and all your friends, watching tv, deciding every time you heard certain words, everyone was to take a drink? No, just me? Well, I think a pretty good game for TAR would be to take a drink every time anyone says ďbabyĒ. Who knows? Maybe even Victoria and Jonathan would look and/or sound better after 20-30 shots. But remember, donít drink and drive, just drink and post.
We begin with brief highlights from last weekís show where we are once again seeing Freddyís impression of psychotic Jonathan, wearing gag-gift Groucho glasses (minus the moustache), during the gate conspiracy. From there we move on to the unique Hungarian soup, Vomit Paprika. Frankly, I could have done quite nicely without that refresher footage, especially since there was nothing refreshing about it. By the way, Victoria? Jonathanís presence makes me want to hurl, too. Itís obvious Phil and Joe Rogan have been comparing notes, because we go from the soup to the pigís blood. We get to see Heraís beautiful eyes one more time before she and Gus are eliminated, sigh.
Teams will make their way to Budafok (whoa, I had to really slow down to ensure I typed that correctly) Winery to a 14,000 gallon wine cask where they will drink, er, get their next clue. All teams arrive at the winery, where itís apparent we have the first bunching of the night. After sleeping outside until the doors open at 10:00am, everyone dashes inside where they are informed they will be flying 1300 miles to the town of Ajaccio, Corsica. From there, they must make their way to the house where Napoleon was born for the next clue. Once there we learn there is the option to use the last remaining Fast Forward. If a team chooses to do this, both team members will don old-style diving suits, weighing more than 100 lbs. each, and walk along the ocean floor to a lobster trap where they will get the FF award. The other teams will drive themselves to the beach city, Calvi. Once there, they must find Camp Rafalli for the next clue.
Detour: Climb Up, or Fly Behind
Climb up. Each team member will use a mechanical ascender to climb up a 45- foot-block wall. At the top, they will receive a medal, then rappel 75 feet down to receive their next clue.
Fly behind. Teams must choose a Zodiak boat for one member, which will drag an inflatable raft with the other member hanging on for dear life. They must search among 25 buoys to find the clue.
Once the Detour is completed, they are faced with a Roadblock. One team member will have to stomp grapes with their feet, and drink one glass to receive the next clue.
As some parts of this episode seemed to be a real snooze-fest, Iím only going to concentrate on the more entertaining aspects. Ah, the power of the recapper!
Lori and Bolo Ė 1st to Depart
Mr. Foreshadow makes an appearance this evening as Bolo tells us the physical aspects wonít be a problem for them. They arrive at the wine cellar, and are able to board the first plane to Corsica. They land and head for Napoleonís home where they discover it opens at 9:00am the next day. Bolo decides to take on the Detour of Climb Up, and slowly, very slowly, starts ascending the wall. I remember his comment regarding how physical aspects arenít a problem for them, and I canít help but wonder if perhaps he meant some other physical aspects, because from where I sit (in my comfy chair), Iíd say heís having some problems right now. Eventually they get up the wall, receive their medals, and descend back down. They make their way to the grape stomping, which Bolo completes with the help of Loriís bellowing. With the stomping done, they make their way to Phil at the Pit Stop arriving...
Kris and Jon Ė 2nd to Depart
Jon makes the statement that setting out, he and Kris wanted to make sure they continued to respect each other, and they feel they have definitely done that. I canít help but feel that comment was in reply to someone off camera asking, ďSo, isnít Jonathan an abusive jerk? How do you feel about the way you and Kris treat each other in comparison?Ē Of course, we will never truly know...Iím just guessing. As most teams hail cabs, Kris and Jon run across the street to a pet groomer, and book their reservations over the phone. Although there are some tense moments at the airport, eventually we see they were able to board the second flight. They arrive at Napoleonís home too, and wait for the opening with the other teams. We see them scale the wall, and return back down with ease, so itís off to the grape stomping. Kris stomps ala Lucy-style, complete with a great ďLucy faceĒ in the cab, and I just have to say, I love Kris. As the other team members are screaming and screeching at each other, she and Jon seem to have fun with it. They complete the task, and arrive at the Pit Stop...
Victoria and Jonathan Ė 3rd to Depart
Notice I put Victoriaís name first? Thatís for you, Jonathan...thought it may help push you over the edge. From now on, youíre only mentioned after Victoria, got it? Itís so easy to misuse recapper power, isnít it? sneer... Victoria informs us sheís not the kind of girl who needs someone to hold her hand (thatís probably a good thing, since sheís not getting it anyway). Apparently, Jonathanís not too keen on holding her hair when sheís puking, either. This woman is seriously as delusional as he is if she truly believes, ďJohn is extremely motivating.Ē Yeah, heís motivating me to hate him, and heís also motivating me to begin chanting, ďget eliminated, get eliminated, get eliminated.Ē Extremely motivating...okay, got it. Because of Jonathanís wonderful brain, they head to a travel agent to book the flight (note sarcasm). I canít stand the guy. Letís just cut to the chase (or would that be race?), and say they board the first plane with Lori and Bolo. They land and head to Napoleonís home. As Victoria and Jonathan realize they missed the FF, Jonathan is ďmotivatingĒ Victoria again by telling her itís her fault they werenít able to beat Adam and Rebecca to it. After much bickering, Victoria and Jonathan decide to Fly Behind. I hoped there would be a third choice of Fall Far Behind, but guess not. They take off with Victoria in the boat, Jonathan on the raft. I sit upright. Well, this could get interesting...my imagination takes over, as I hope to see Jonathan get eaten by sharks, snapping turtles, or any other ocean creature who is just as sick of him as me. But Iím just not that lucky. Either that, or marine creatures donít want him either. To be brief, Victoria shrieks, Jonathan hollers, and Iím convinced the men in the boat are trying to come up with a plan to dump them without getting caught...damn cameras! At the grape stomping Road Block, Jonathan has difficulty stomping because of Victoria...Iím not sure why this is Victoriaís fault, but I know Jonathan could explain it...if I asked him...which Iím not. As far as Iím concerned, neither of them have any redeeming qualities at this point. They arrive at the Pit Stop...
Hayden and Aaron Ė 4th to Depart
We see a weird sampling of Aaronís attempt to humor Hayden, and sheís not having it. She informs us, ďAaron needs to get more assertive with me because I will steam roll over him, and it will screw us.Ē Sounds like Hayden has taken Jonathanís course on ďHow to Blame Others for All Your Problems, 101Ē. Nevertheless, they board the second plane for Corsica and join the others at Napoleonís. As the model alliance continues to hold strong for now, the foursome make their way to Camp Rafalli. They ascend and descend the wall, and Aaron quickly finishes the Road Block. They arrive...
Adam and Rebecca Ė 5th to Depart
Rebecca says she does love Adam, but that isnít enough to make a relationship work, adding she doesnít want to be his mother anymore. Iím surprised she signed up for the job in the first place. Youíd think the diapers and daycare would be enough to put you off, but I guess some ladies like that. Certainly this relationship has changed because Adam begins answering her with one of many ďYes, maíamsĒ we will hear through the night. Adam puts himself in time-out because apparently there wasnít a boat he could threaten to jump from, or railroad tracks he could lay down on. I am, however, at a loss as to why he didnít find a plane to taxi over him. They are able to board the second plane also. The following morning, they are the first team to get the clue from the Napoleon look-alike. They decide to use the FF (or in this case, the slow forward), and make their way to the harbor. Not only is Adam uncomfortable about donning the dive suit, he has to ask Rebecca what it is they are actually going to the lobster trap to get. Daycare, anyone? As Adamís helmet is secured, he gets one last chance to tell his mother he loves her. Thatís exceptionally funny considering there must be 20 people clustered around him. I just watched Adamís diving attempt about 10 times. I didnít need to see it that often for recapping sake, but it is some of the best reality tv footage Iíve seen in a while. He bobs...he floats...he groans...he calls out in pain, all to a soundtrack of carnival music. He basically does everything but drop to the ocean floor. Eventually, he is brought back up to the boat, and his helmet is removed. Although Rebecca retrieves the award, a very patient man informs Adam, he must go back down, walk over and touch the trap in order for them to proceed. He gives it another try, and this time he is successful. I think Adam proved heís not mamaís little boy anymore. At least for today, he can consider himself A MAN. As a nervous Rebecca asks her brand-spanking new man to hold her hand while they use the FF to fly to Calvi, Adam revels in his newly-discovered manhood. All is right in Adamís World. They land safely, hop in their convertible, and arrive at the Pit Stop...
Freddy and Kendra Ė Last to Depart Itís obvious the second half of the nowĖfamous Model Alliance has had a face malfunction. As is clearly seen in the taxi, Freddyís forehead is sporting three small gashes from the gate fiasco. I wonder how long it will be until we see him on Dr. 90210, or Extreme Makeover getting the plastic surgery he will so desperately need in order to resume his career? They also are able to catch the second plane to Corsica and wait to enter with the others. At the Detour, they ascend the wall, and after a brief stumble by Kendra on her descent, they are safely back on the ground. I have to note, however, that even wearing a medal from a French Legionnaire canít make someone look distinguished while wearing Groucho glasses. Kendra stomps the grapes by jumping up and down, much to the delight of all males in the viewing audience, Iím sure. Kendra has been particularly chipper during this episode, and was actually a pleasure to watch. Iím not holding my breath, however, that this will continue for much longer.
The Pit Stop
1. Adam and Rebecca, winning a Caribbean trip (I wonder who is going to join Rebecca? Will it be Mamaís Boy Adam, Manly Adam, or someone else entirely?)
2. Freddy and Kendra
3. Lori and Bolo
4. Kris and Jon
5. Victoria and Jonathan
6. Hayden and Aaron
We learn it is a non-elimination leg, so Hayden and Aaron will be allowed to continue, sans money. By the way, tonightís ďbabyĒ count was 43 (yes, I spent my precious time counting), so it may not be such a good idea to drink every time itís uttered...perhaps every other. We can only hope that Victoria and Jonathan will be eliminated next week...I try to look at life with optimism.
Good comments only - firstname.lastname@example.org