Soccer Kicks Balls
TAR 2 EP 5 Recap
We’re still at the pit stop. Oh, how very exciting, it looks as though there could be a fight… (remember I’m a pacifist at heart, but sometimes a good fight is just plain fun entertainment).
Here are Blake and Paige… here are Tara and Wil… ohhhh….wait, I must remember it’s Tara we’re dealing with, she’s just trying to get a rise out of wil (or a Boston boy.
TARA: So, you say you want Wil and I gone
BLAKE: Nope, just that I don’t like you
Yep, ladies and gents that’s the fight.
Teams need to get to Bangkok Thailand. Apparently this is going to help Tara and Wil, as they travel to Thailand often for supplies for their business hmmmm….
So, Dan and Os leave first at 7:47 am
Tara and Wil at 10:34
Blaige lets the sisters read first due to his actually racing the night before.
2 teams get 42 minute penalties for speeding the day before… hahahahahahaha I just find that funny.
I could go on and on about the leaving times, but it doesn’t matter, we are setting up for a great equalizer anyway.
So airport number 1: Blake has a “secret weapon”. It’s one of the wooden animals from the previous leg. He’s going to get himself a good ol’ ticket now….
BLAKE: A present for you guys
TICKET LADY: Thanks
BLAKE: It’s a Rhino
TICKET LADY: Really? I’ve never in my entire life seen anything like it.. a Rhino, you say, WOW, I’m going to fly you on the best plane, FIRST CLASS… Wow, a rhino, hey everyone look this is what is called a RHINO, now we know, and we can all die happy.
OK, we might actually get a fight after all. Blake wants to confront Wil…….
BLAKE: You’re making my life a living hell
TARA: He’s done nothing
BLAKE: Blah, blah, blah, this isn’t fun anymore
WIL: If we’re all having fun, let’s have a party
TARA: Blah, blah, SMIRK, blah SMIRK, blah
WIL: He’s just being nice ‘cause I’m so brilliant and have connections in Thialnad. He wants to latch on to me like a BUG SLUGGER.
WTF is a Bug Slugger? Anyone? Please?
In Bangkok find the Temple Dancers. To do this take a bus to the sky train to Siam Station then hike to find the dancers.
Woodys friend informs him that he’s Wacko, when Woody explains that he feels like he’s going faster if he’s standing up.
Tara and Wil had great seats and are off the plane and through customs in no time flat. Wil is eager to go, but……
TARA: Let’s wait for the Boston Boys
WIL: I’m not waiting
TARA: We have to, they’re hot
WIL: I’d like to actually win this race
TARA: but I want to get laid
WIL: You’re stupid, I don’t want to play anymore, I quit, I’m a big baby
WIL: **Sulk, sulk, sulk**
TARA: I hate you, you suck
WIL: You wanna wait, we’ll wait
Enter the Boston Boys…
WIL: Hey buds, I got us a great private bus, I’m so cool, we’re gonna kick some racer ass
Boston Boy #1 : I heard you wanted to leave us behind
Wil: Who me? No way
Everyone else is getting off the plane, but it seems like Dan and Os got really bad seats, and are off last.
When the teams find the dancer they get a DETOUR: Confusion Now or Confusion Later.
Take a water Taxi to a bird market, buy some sparrows and release them for next clue.
Buy a car, burn it as an offering, (AT A SPECIFIC TEMPLE) then get next clue.
Os and Dan find Fern, their friend for this leg of the race. She’s supposed to be studying, but can’t resist the charm that is Os, well, that and she’s lazy, so she heads off with them.
G & D find a car.. It’s made of paper, whew.. easier to burn that way. They find a fire and throw it in…. look around… NO YELLOW MARKER.
Team Blaige finds a car. Look, here’s a fire, throw it in. Yep.. NO YELLOW MARKER
Team Blaige gets a new car. They find a new fire. You must pray.
BLAKE: “God help all these people who are so lost and worship idols. We won’t worship idols. Amen”
Throw, burn. HAHAHA wrong again IDIOT.
Blake decides that his prayer wasn’t insult enough, so he tries to grab the flaming car. He gets it out, only to poke at it until it is a pile of ashes. IDIOT.
One more time. Get car. Find Temple. Pray “Help us stay in this race. Amen”
“Burn you thing, burn” IDIOT.
Just to compare for you folks… Here is what Os had to say: “No matter what religion you practice you need to respect your fellow human beings. You send that into the universe, it comes right back at you”
Uh Oh, Cyndi and Russell are really lost.
Irony: (noun) definition # 5 in the Random House College Dictionary ~ An outcome of events contrary to what was or might have been expected.
Let’s think about what Tara might have expected from her Boston Buddies… hmmmm
Let’s see what the Boston Buddies do….
“Woo hoo, here’s our chance, let’s ditch them in their slow ass cab and get as far ahead of them as we can in rickshaw that can week through traffic… mwuuu hahahahahah”
Cabbie drops of Wil and Tara.
WIL: “I know Taiwan, yeah my bro, my bro”
Then needs to ask for directions and realizes that they have been dropped off in the “middle of nowhere”
Cyndi and Russell are still looking for the bird Market. They pass by a sign with an arrow pointing left, that says (in English) BIRD MARKET… they go right. Uh-oh Then some helpful Taiwanese person sends them up to a roof top to find the bird market… lot’s of stairs to climb. Uh oh.
OK, I hope you’re not reading all this just for some fun about the “Rickshaw race and fight” between Gary and Dave and The Boston Boys… Yeah ha ha, let’s moon them…. Boston Sucks… NYC… Yankees suck… blah, blah, blah. I’m sure that Woody would have been funnier in this episode, but he was busy trying to figure out how to invade JMJ’s dreams.
Peach uses a public bathroom. WOW, is this the first one? This has been a long race.. May be this is why she feels ill half the time. Honey, sometimes you just have to let the sh!t out.
What is it with the Taiwanese sending people up mass amounts of steps? This time it is Gary and Dave. If only they’d taken four steps to the left, they wouldn’t have had to traverse the 465,865,980,211 steps to no where. Oh well.
Team member who performs this must feel comfortable in a crowd.
Yep, that was the Batman theme.
Peach thinks long and hard. You can tell she doesn’t want to do this, and Mary is willing, but Peach wants to push herself and decides to do this road block. Good for herJ
She enters the cave “It smells terrific” oops, my bad, that’s HORRIFIC. May be she thinks if she closes her eyes the smell won’t be so bad. I say that only because she gets lost on the way out. Never fear though, Peach makes it out… luckily they weren’t fruit bats.
Os decides he’ll go into the cave, as it’s a chance for him to look really, really butch.
Flash to Wil and Tara….
WIL: I promise, if we can stay in this race, from this day forward, I will be nothing but humble”
Place your bets Ladies and Gentlemen… the odds on Wil staying civil are at 3,409,835,647,074,421,167,358, 247,899,753,345,648,
000 to 1
Cyndi enters BATCAVE
“Honey, I’m going to scream”
Well, she’s no liar! “AHHHHGGGG- EEEEEEKKKKKKK-AAAAHHHHHGGGGGGG”
PIT STOP BAN PLAI PONG PANG (No I didn’t make that part up.
1st Chris and Alex
2nd Mary and Peach
3rd Tara and Wil
4th Blake and Paige
5th Gary and Dave
5th Oswald and Danny
Eliminated: Russell and Cyndi. They had a great time! Bu-Bye.
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