Soccer Kicks Balls
TAR 2 EP 4 Recap
This Game is About Minutes
Hmmm. Nice title, but just remember most races are about split seconds…..
At the Pit Stop:
Wil: Lets get drunk and be stooooopid
Wil: I want some South African beauty
Tara: Fruck Off
Wil: I’m so glad you’re my wife. Just remember you can screw anything you want, just not in front of me.
Tara: Hey Boston Boy, lets get behind Wil
Boston Boy: OK Slut Girl!
Well, I wasn’t really paying attention, but it went something like that.
Start the race!
From Cape Town to Nabibia. There are two flights. 1 at 9am one at Noon. Only 4 teams will make the first flight, so hurry.
Dan and Os leave first. Os is worried because Danny has pulled a muscle. Oh, how masculine and tough that sounds… until you find out it was a foot muscle pulled doing Yoga ! LOL.
Tara and Wil leave next… Wil: Oh, Tara, you’re still my partner?
Mary and Peach leave, but Peach is sick…..
Paige has decided on her oh-so-becoming antennae nub hairdo again.
Blake offers cabbie extra bucks to hurry and beat the other teams to the airport, while Mary and Peach tell their cabbie he can slow down…. Hmmmmm we have a Jekyll and Hyde thing happening here:
LAST WEEK: “We’re cutting in line because we’re in a big race and we’re rude Americans”
THIS WEEK: “We’re so nice and polite, please don’t speed and get yourself in trouble. We don’t even care if we lose; we’re here for the experience…. Have you met our brother Gabe?”
Twins Cabbie knows a short cut that involves taking longer to get to the airport than anyone else Uh-Oh # 1
They get to the airport minutes too late for the first flight, hence the title of episode.
Twins, Pastors, Boston Boys and Blake and Paige make the second flight out.
Wil informs us that the desert is all sand. Man he’s brilliant!
Wil then argues with the “cab getter lady” about having to pay 560 Rand for a one way ride, meanwhile Mary and Peach are spending that EXACT amount on a juice box. Will says he believes in Karhma and this “cab getter lady” will get hers!!!! Honey, she just met you, she has paid back every bit of bad kharma she ever needed to and is now in the plus column!
Teams must get to the top of a lighthouse. There they are told to take one of the cars on the beach and go to the Matterhorn Sand Dune. There are drivers by the cars, but the drivers can only take over driving after 7pm as it gets dangerous then. Teams can only drive to the base and must hike to the top for the next clue.
Os and Dan decide to go for the fast-forward due to the yoga injury.
Wil spots driver…..
Wil: “What up dude…. Wanna hear my rap?…. I’m a fucked up white boy….. Some think I’m a sap…… I really be chillin….and oh so illin……once drove through the hood….saw my peeps up to no good…….went on this race……..’cuz Tara sais she’d sit on my face….”
OK, they only really aired “What up dude” But remember there’s a whole lot of editing in this show.
Mary and Peach decide to go for the fast-forward too. Meanwhile Os and Dan have found this “fabulous hotel” They go in to ask for directions but see the flag “oooohhhhh” giggle, squeal, giggle “We don’t need to ask”
Meanwhile at the dune:
Tara : WIL (almost reminiscent of “Leeennnnnnnyyyyyy”)
Wil: SHUT UP TARA
They find this is a detour to slide or stride. Slide down the dune on a piece of cardboard or stride the long way, get tired and have no fun.
They slide. Find next clue saying they need to drive 125 miles to the town of SPITZKOPPE and find “the general dealer”
2nd set of teams arrive and all but Chris and Alex get a cab…. Of course all but Chris and Alex asked for one…..
Shola gets in the truck (after the lighthouse) and is confused by the stick with the knob that has a numbered grid on it, and the letter R… Uh-Oh # 2
Wil and Tara find the General Dealer… it’s a store… they’re told to go to the woodcarvers market.
Shola and Doyin are lost, they find some people and ask: “Anyone know where the Matterhorn is?”
The answer? Drum roll please…….
“Oh, that’s in the desert” Uh-oh #3
Tara and wil arrive at the market. ROAD BLOCK. Person doing this must know their animals. S/he must buy one carving each of Africa’s BIG 5 (Lion, Buffalo, Leopard, Rhino, and Elephant) then bring those five to a bushman who will give them a giant giraffe and the next clue.
Tara bargains and gets all the animals, then decides she must first show the bushman the carving then act out the animal for him. This would have been great if one of the animals had been a Jackass.
Get to the Amani Lodge. It’s the next Pit Stop last team will be eliminated. (Both members, in case there’s confusion there)
Remember the AD for this weeks show? The “big fight” where Gary blows up at Wil? Well it consists of:
Gary: “Cheater, speeder”
Tara: “Get in the car Wil”
Wil: “I didn’t speed”
Gary: “Speeder Cheater, you’re going down”
Twins get the truck stuck in the sand. Uh-Oh # 4
Mary and Peach (having realized they lost the FF did the slide and are now at the woodcarvers market). Mary goes about teaching Peach how to negotiate:
Mary: “If they say 100 cut it in half immediately and say 50”
Peach: “I know”
Mary: “You have to negotiate, say low numbers”
Peach: “I CAN DO THIS”
Peach: “How much for this?”
Peach: “How much is this?”
Twins got moving again, and find a guy “Do you know where the Matterhorn Dune is?”
Answer……..drum roll please….
“It’s over by the dunes” Uh-oh #5
1st Dan and Os
2nd Gary and Dave
3rd Wil and Tara
Now sisters and siblings arrive at the gate at the same time but Blake and Paige decide to RACE, it’s amazing! They beat Mary and Peach!
4th Blake and Paige
5th Mary and Peach
7th Chris and Alex
8th Shola and Doyin Uh-Oh # 6
They had fun and think it was an absolutely amazing experience. They are so happy to have done it together. DAMN….. I’m going to miss these two.
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