Fourth and 22, It’s Time To Punt
TAR episode 3 recap
This week’s episode was full of surprises. I was fully expecting what I have come to call the “Great Equalizer”. Having all the teams jam up at the airport and head into the next leg of the race on equal footing. I believe I have complained about that in the past, but to be honest, I like it when it is a race.
Get yourself to London England
Go to Cambridge to find the next route marker
DETOUR: Punt or Bike. Travel in a punt (boat) about 1 mile down river or take a tandem bike about 6 miles to the next clue
Catch one of several Charter buses to Aberdeen Scotland
Catch a cab to Storehaven (?) find the next clue in a field
ROADBLOCK: Feeling Gamey? One team mate must play three traditional Highland Games: The Caber Toss, The Hammer Throw and the Shot-put.
Get yourself to the chapel at Dunnottar Castle. Last team will be eliminated
In the order they leave the previous pit stop:
Derek and Drew are the first to leave the pit stop at 3:18am. They have used their fast-forward already, and now have to rely on their wits. Yikes, poor, poor guy’s! I bet they are hoping there is no equalizer this episode…. They manage to get themselves on a flight to Mexico City at 7am. They then fly to Miami, then to Heathrow International in London. These two are kind of goofy. They seem to be oblivious to many things happening all around them. They live in a happy little world where Bambi’s mom is still alive, Old Yeller never got Rabies, and The Brady Bunch was never canceled. It’s a nice world, unfortunately it’s not the real world. They arrive in England and decide to ‘punt’. They actually look quite at home in the gondola type boat. Drew handling his pole very nicely and Derek playing well with his paddle. They make quick work of finding the next clue and head off to find the charter bus. After lunch they find the bus, and having hours to spare so they decide to sunbath. Luckily Apollo sees fit not to burn them, and they head off for Scotland. They find themselves on the same bus with many other teams… sort of a “Mini Equalizer”. Other cabs heading for the Roadblock pass them. Even though they receive a wonderfully juvenile thumb on the nose wave by another team, they wave back obliviously… I thought…. It turns out that the cabbies all hear what is going on in their sister cabs. D&D’s cabbie has let them in on a little secret: Many of the other teams don’t like them. Not to worry though, the cabbies don’t like the alliance, “Dinnae worrie wee jimmies, Nae a body likes eh alliance, we will make sure they oan yer bike.” For all you non-Scots that means: Don’t worry boys, no one likes the alliance we will make sure they get lost. Derek makes the choice to participate in the highland games. Making quick work of the games Team Double D make their way to the pit stop where they come in_______
Aaron and Arianne
They leave the Pit stop at 4:43. These two actually said that others look to them as leaders. Leaders of what? The insane Twin bashing? These two couldn’t lead their way out of a paper bag. They are always following someone. They manage to get a decent flight out of Mexico, and arrive in London at 10:15am. They have decided to align with Heather and Eve, Mike and Kathy, and Flo and Zach. They are complete idiots. There is no voting on The Amazing Race. An alliance is not going to help you. You are stupid. In Scotland that would be: Glaekit. Whew, sorry. At the detour these two decide to go for the punt. After spending 2.3 minutes trying to figure the punt out, they go for the bike. I realize that this is the faster of the two choices, but it seems to me that you would need to exert more energy. They are sweating like pigs. Sooooweeeee. They wind up finding the clue and getting the first bus out to Aberdeen. When they arrive at the Highland Games Aaron does the road block. He complains that the caber (With a circumference of a whole 6.28”) has to land in-between the lines, yes, the lines that are 5 feet apart. Arriane complains about everything else: Why is it taking him so long? Why can’t he do it. Why was I picked last for kickball? Why don’t the twins find me attractive? They finally get through it, and head off for the chapel. They arrive_________
Heather and Eve
Heather and Eve leave the pit stop at 4:44am. They are a part of the alliance mentioned above. Do I need to remind you how poor a choice alliances are in this game? They wind up at the airport trying to get 8 tickets on a flight out. That is what we hear, but being the savvy TAR watchers that we are, we know that what that really means is 16 tickets, as each team needs to bring their cameraman and sound guy along too. 16 tickets last minute. Glaekit, Glaekit, Glaekit. Some how the four teams decide to split up and meet again in London. I guess between the 8 of them they found one brain. They arrive in London at 11:10am and find their way to Cambridge. I joyfully watch as these two try to maneuver a punt. Eve spends her time complaining about her back. She has pulled a muscle. She then complains about “sitting on this wooden thing” this HARVARD Graduate has no idea that it is called a "seat". These two fine young specimens find a way to run into everyone else on the river at least twice. They assure some of the other punt riders that they aren’t trying to run into them. I take that to mean that they are trying to run into others. Once they find the clue Eve once again complains about her heavy bag. Poor baby. She is wanting Heather to take some of her load. Heather, being a HARVARD graduate realizes that wouldn’t be good for her. She informs Eve that she’s in pain too, but she’s trying not to complain about it every five minutes. They taxi to the charter bus, I guess this is where they dip into the “ha ha, look at all the money we got from those stupid men” fund. Upon arriving at the roadblock Heather decides it would be best if she play the games. She tosses her caber, then makes her way to the hammer throw. Once there she informs us that she’s too strong for the hammer throw. I might have bought that if she had OVER THROWN, but she continually fell short of the mark. The wonderful gentleman showing her how to play remarks: Swatch at eh silly wee lass try thes a body Mac. (Look at the silly little girl try this one Mac) Once she did complete the task, we get to witness her strength as she picks up the shot put. Being a HARVARD graduate, she understands what put means. She “puts” the shot put about a foot in front of her. The two HARVARD graduates then only have to follow the bright red and yellow markers to the castle, yet somehow Eve manages to start off in the wrong direction. Heather gets her attention with a “Here Eve, good girl” and they head off to the chapel. The arrive_____
Michael and Kathy
Mike and Kath leave the pit Stop at 4:45. They are in the Alliance. They too are Glaekit. I had hoped for more from Mike. The only plus I see for them, is that they parted ways with two of the teams at the airport. Mike went as far as to say that he “couldn’t stand listening to their little chicken heads squawking at him any more”. Any guesses as to whom he was talking about? They get on one of the good flights to London and make their way to Cambridge. They decide to punt, and have a grand time trying to steer the boat. I have no idea how much action this river usually sees, but people are lining up to watch the silly Americans try their hand at getting a mile up the river. These two also get seats on the number one charter bus. Seeing that that they are in the alliance it takes them a little longer to get to the Highland Games. Although they were in the upper tier before they are the 6th to arrive at the games where Mike does all the work for the team. They head off for the chapel and arrive___________
Flo and Zach
Eff and Zee leave at the same time as Mike and Kath. They get stuck with the HARVARD graduates, and arrive in London at 11:10am. They make their way to the detour and choose to ride the tandem bike to get the clue. I think Zach has figured this one out. If he is on the front of the bike, wearing a helmet, having wind whipping by, chances are he will not hear the whining and complaining from Flo behind him. They find the bridge and walk down to the river. Hmm, you are standing on a boat. You are 2 feet away from grabbing a clue. There are poles and paddles there. The clue is hanging down at face level. I think it would be a grand idea to take that pole and shove it up…. Oh wait, take the pole and go up onto the bridge, lean over and try to grab the clue that way. Yes! Brilliance! God people. Your stupidity will be something of legends in London for years to come. Zach does get the clue and they head off. At the roadblock it is Zach who plays the games. I am more impressed with him than I thought I would be. I find it interesting that he only gets support and help from Flo when he is doing well. That irritates me. They are off to the chapel and arrive at the pit stop______
Ken and Gerard
Leaving the Pit stop in 6th place at 6:03am may have caused other people to be frantic. These two guys are just having fun. I realize it’s early in the race, but we’ve already seen a couple teams break down and go at each others throats. I like to inject humor into my recaps. Most of the time I throw in sarcasm to help “make” a team more enjoyable to read about.. I really don’t think I have to with team "Oh Brother". They get a great flight to London, reserving each leg of the trip before leaving Mexico, and find themselves in second place at the Detour. It doesn’t take long for them to decide to punt. They are tired, and explain that they’d rather do neither but that the punt looks more relaxing
Ken is sitting in the front of the punt rowing while Gerard stands in the back with the pole. Seeing that these two are really the second team to try, I don’t think this detour is very difficult. The twins really did make it look easy…. In all honesty Ken and Gerard are actually doing a much better job overall with the punts that many of the other teams eventually will. Gerard falls off the back of the punt three times. I am laughing out loud as I watch them. Gerard never loses his smile. The crowds that have gathered to watch the silly Americans is cheering and clapping. Gerard plays it well to the crowd and bows. I know absolutely now, that I am laughing with them, and not at them. I guess they decide it might be better to have a go at the other position in the boat, so Gerard and Ken switch. As Ken is walking toward the back of the punt, Gerard playfully pushes him in, again causing the crowd to go wild. They eventually get the clue, and thankfully are still in second place. They chat with the twins, while waiting for the charter bus to leave. At the Roadblock it is Ken who takes on the challenges. He does an outstanding job, after getting the next clue he and Gerard book it to the chapel. They arrive_________
John Vito and Jill
JV and Jill leave at 6:52am. We didn’t see too much of them this week. They are not part of the “Brat Pack” that has made it their goal to “get the twins”, and that in and of itself is enough for me to like them. By the time these two arrive in London the twins have been there for 11 full hours. They are off and running on the way to the detour
EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT: Man in Trash Can, believes to have been there his entire life. When asked why he lives in the trash can he responded by yelling “SCRAM….BEAT IT” We now return you to your recap:
JV and Jill decide to punt. If you missed this part I feel for you, it was “How To Treat Your Partner 101” Jill encouraged JV (That’s great sweetie, a little more to the left…”) and JV was showed his care and concern for Jill (“OK, just don’t fall out of the boat……”) They found a charter bus and caught a ride to Aberdeen. They were the only Amazing Racers on the bus…… they may have been the only people on the bus….. Once at the roadblock Jill decides to play the games. I love this. The truth is, when other teams arrived there, they had the advantage of seeing D&D already playing… they could tell somewhat what they were getting into. Not so for JV and Jill. She looked even smaller than normal while holding the Caber. I do believe it was more than three times her size. She does a great job, with more encouragement from JV. I loved that she asked the Scott if she needed muscle: He told her she was too Pretty for muscles and you hear JV saying “Ya got that right”. He’s not jealous, mind you, just accepting the complement for both of them. They head off to the Pit stop and arrive_____
Andre and Damon
Leaving at 7:46, puts them a tad less than 3 ½ hours behind D&D at the beginning. By the time they land in London they are over 11 hours behind. They get to the detour in the dark and knowing that is truly is fourth down and 22, they have no choice but to punt. They have a hard time navigating the punt in the dark. When they finally reach the bridge and clues, they are elated to see 3 envelopes hanging, they now know they are not in last place. I have a feeling that the Powers That Be at TAR had now idea teams would be this spread out. I think they had to hire extra Charter buses to stay and wait for the rest of the teams. I wish I had something funny to report. There wasn’t even a man in a trashcan here for me to remark on. They make it to the roadblock. One of them does it and they head off for the pit stop. They have to be feeling good, because they know they are not last…. We do to, so I’m really not spoiling anything there. They arrive________
Andrew and Dennis
Leaving at 7:46am, isn’t too bad, they meet other teams at the airport so they are feeling ok. It isn’t until they realize there are NO MORE flights to anywhere helpful, that they start to get nervous. We get to see Andrew get mad because he just wants help yet can’t seem to get it. We get to see Dad to the rescue telling Andrew to just leave if the ticket person wants to be a jerk. I couldn’t help but laugh. Andrew spends time on the phone trying to get a flight out (or possible a better flight out, I’m not sure). He has received kudos here on the board for pulling the “my mom is sick and I want to get back to her” card. This actually made me cringe. I’m always afraid that if you say something like that, it will actually happen! They finally get to London 27 hours after Derek and Drew. They know that their only hope is to go for the fast-forward. In this weeks FF the team gets to drive a tank, and I’m not talking about a 72 Chrysler Newport, I’m talking a REAL tank. It was so cool to watch Dennis just jump right in and start driving. The course had to be done in 90 seconds or less. The team trying could do the course as many times as it took. Pops is the Tankinator, and finishes the course in plenty of time. Andrew is thrilled, and we are once again flashed that brilliant smile. I didn’t think he could get happier, but when he finds out that they get to ride to the Pit stop in a limousine, the smile widens. It is dark in Scotland at this point and people come to their windows to try to find the source of the light. They enjoy their ride, complete with a bottle of wine, and arrive____
TeRi and Ian
Leaving the pit stop at 7:47 puts them in last place. All the teams in the top 7 have gotten the only decent flights to London. I was happy to see Ian actually smiling and pleasant to TeRi in the airport. He announced that the race was becoming fun. I have HOPE! They also have a hard time getting a flight out. They do not get to London until 6:30pm. A full 11 hours and 55 minutes behind the twins. At one point Ian resigns himself to the fact that “all this is an exercise in futility”. That, in Wil speak, is “I quit”. TeRi, in her first “You Go Girl” moment of the evening would have nothing of it, and they continued on their way. At the detour the two decide to punt. This was a mistake. TeRi should have insisted that they go with Zach’s strategy, so she wouldn’t have to listen to Ian complain.
Ian Can’t you paddle a canoe?
TeRiWhy are we pulling over?
IanBecause this is probably the bridge
TeRiThere is no sign
IanI CAN’T SEE!! I have to look at the map
TeRi (please read in a smarmy, condescending voice) How are you gonna see it?
That, my friends was her 2nd “You Go Girl” moment of the evening. They do finally find the envelopes. They make no mention of the fact that there are two envelopes hanging there. I don’t know if they just don’t “get” that it could very well mean there is still a team behind them, or if they just assumed that someone went for the fast-forward. They wind up on a charter bus with the two missing members of the village people, and get to the Highland Games pretty darn late. As soon as they envelope is opened Ian informs TeRi that she has to do it. I am sure she is just as tired as he is, but she doesn’t complain. I can’t help myself and let out a giggle as I watch her try to toss the caber. I even laughed the next two or five times. Don’t get me wrong, I started feeling bad after the third attempt, but it wasn’t until Ian started complaining about the way she was doing it that I got mad. I LOVED it when TeRi had her third and final ”You Go Girl” moment of the evening when she ever so sweetly told him to “Kiss my caber, jerk”. No, not really, I can’t back that up. She did however remind him that it was his idea that she do it, and to Stop telling her HOW. I was happy. They finally finished the Highland games and headed off for the chapel, only to arrive______
PIT STOP at the Chapel at Donnotar Castle
This is their arrival order, followed by what place they started in
1. Derek and Drew (1)
2. Ken and Gerard (6)
3. Flo and Zach (5)
4. Aaron and Arianne (2)
5. Heather and Eve (3)
6. Michael and Kathy (4)
7. John Vito and Jill (7)
8. Andre and Damon (8)
9. TeRi and Ian (10)
Which sadly places Andrew and Dennis in last place. I honestly enjoyed these two. I am so glad that, although they started off as a close father/son they seem to have been able to make their bond stronger. They were a joy to watch, and will be missed!
Way to go Guys
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