Well, another fun-filled, action-packed week for Jack and me in The Amazing Race!
We started out in second place--right behind Tian & Jaree--and learned that we were headed to Amsterdam. "Oooh yum. Isn't Amsterdam famous for their fries? Don't they do something really weird like put mayonnaise on them or something?" I asked.
"Jenn, Amsterdam is famous alright, but I think you're thinking of the wrong craving."
We continued the discussion in the taxi on the way to the airport. We were just getting to the interesting part where Jack was explaining to me the red light district and the hashish houses when we heard a sputter and came to a stop in the middle of the road. Pierre (our driver) turned around and explained that he had been having car problems, and it looked like we were about to experience them, too.
Jack immediately asked our driver to call for a backup. As handy as we are, we didn't have our "Car Repairs for Dummies" guide with us, and we needed to get a replacement as soon as possible.
Our replacement cab showed up, but quite some time had passed and we knew that we had lost our second place advantage. While we were waiting, we borrowed Pierre's cell phone and called ahead to find out about flights to Amsterdam. The earliest flight on Air France was booked already, so we knew we would have to head immediately to the British Airways counter for the flight that left 20 minutes later.
Fortunately, we kept our lead over Steve & Dave and Jeff & David, so we made it onto the British Airways flight with ReichenChip, Millie & Chuck, Jon & Al, and Monica & Sheree. This wasn't so bad, as we know we'd like to stick as close to the clowns as possible. They seem very trustworthy and competent, and if we align with anyone at this point, we'd like it to be them. We also think the NFL wives are pretty funny, and I was thinking I could chat with them and see if they could help me with my fantasy league draft picks for next season. I mean, after all, they are married to professional athletes. Did we mention that before?
Like most of the other teams, we opted to take the train to the Magere Brug instead of a taxi like Millie and Chuck had. Navigating a boat to the Scheepvaart Museum, was pretty difficult. Jack overheard Kelly & Jon making fun of Millie & Chuck and murmured to me "Those two are just nasty. Let's go the opposite direction." What a great move that turned out to be. We spotted Jon & Al up ahead and decided to follow them. Those two have great map-reading skills, and they led us right to the clue. We jokingly commented, "We owe you one" to them as we reached the clue. Al nodded with a smile, and I think that this may just be the start of our unofficial and loose-knit alliance with the boys.
Manure or cheese? Wow, this seemed like an easy decision. You see, both Jack and I have a great deal of respect for cheese, unlike cow manure.
"15 feet!? Wow, that's over twice our height, Jenn."
"And we could get some cheese for later if we did the clog detour."
Jon & Al convinced us that we should all go together to the manure and check out that option as it was much closer and would likely take less time. Reluctantly we agreed and all headed to the manure.
As we reached the site, Jack took one look at that pile and exclaimed, "What a bunch of crap!" I knew what Jack meant, but I couldn't help myself and turned to him and said, "You don't say!"
Jack was not amused. He continued, "They want us to look through all that s*** for our next clue? We are SO going to stink after this. It's too bad we didn't bring disposable clothes in addition to disposable underwear!"
With all our protective gear, we looked like extras on "Outbreak 4." Fortunately, Jack and I found two clues in a fairly short amount of time. Jon & Al were playing around throwing manure at each other and I suggested that we quickly toss one in their direction before they decided to include us in their little cow pie fight. And with that quick toss, and a little wink from Jon acknowledging he knew where the clue came from, we were able to pay back Jon & Al and begin our unofficial alliance at the same time.
We were off to Monnickendam to find our next route marker which turned out to be a Roadblock. All I knew was that the smell of seafood as we approached the dock was making me nauseous. Afraid that the Roadblock would entail eating seafood, Jack quickly suggested that he do it. My allergy to shellfish could pretty much ruin any chances for us in this race. We learned quickly that it has nothing to do with eating anything, but rather catching 25 live eels and throwing them in a bucket! When he found out what he'd be doing, Jack was horrified. "First I have to look through cow s*** for a clue, and now I have to try to catch these slimy things???"
Being right next to Al proved too much, and Jack couldn't get a grip on those eels because he was laughing so hard. Again, I couldn't help myself and responded with, "Oh, come on, Jack. Donít pretend that youíre no expert on handling long slippery things." Jack just looked at me and said, "Girl, if this was Last Comic Standing, you wouldn't have even made it out of the Peoria auditions. Don't give up your day job."
The clowns beat us out of the Roadblock and headed to the Pit Stop. With some cheering from the sideline, Jack finished the task, and we were finally outta there and on our way to Kasteel Muiderslot, the next Pit Stop. We saw Jon & Kelly arrive as we were departing and gave them the one-finger wave over the top of the steering wheel along with the polite nod. How unfortunate for us, we thought as we headed out. That meant having to spend more time with them once we got to the Pit Stop.
Boy, did we ever need to have a "Calgon, take me away!" moment as we realized how horrendous we smelled between the fishiness and the cow manure. That alone was enough to motivate us to beat any land-speed records to the castle.
Millie & Chuck had taken Fast Forward, so we arrived in third place behind Jon & Al and before Kelly & Jon. Third place and we haven't even used our Fast Forward option yet! Not too shabby.
Later on in the evening, Steve & Dave arrived at the Pit Stop, and we met them to say goodbye. They invited us to share the cheese that they had brought back with them from the Detour which was very sweet of them, and an added bonus. Who needs mayo or legalized prostitution? Amsterdam has great cheese! Those guys were really nice and we will miss having them around!
See you next week!
To contact the author of this article (BravoFan, aka Jenn), please send an e-mail to BravoFan@fansofrealitytv.com
The Amazing Race Virtual Journal is for entertainment purposes only and is not an account of actual events.