First off I’d like to thank Manny again for filling in for me last week. I had a full plate and he did such an awesome job with the recap! So awesome in fact, that I’m worried. I should have asked a kid at school to write it… you know a fifth grader or something. That way I’d be more confidant that my return would be welcome. You rock Manny! The title this week came from both My Husband and I who uttered the same thing about the same time. If you watched the episode you can probably figure out that it’s about Christie. She and Colin are quite the pair. They can have each other… but I’d like to see if there is a way to sterilize both of them.
Teams will leave the Pit Stop in the order in which they arrived. Of course… I was hoping for another twist where perhaps they would leave in reverse order. Oh well. Teams must drive themselves 220 miles to Auckland, find the Westhaven Marina and locate a yacht named Hydroflow. On the yacht they will use a marked handle to lower the Roadblock clue. This weeks roadblock calls for the team member with strong arms, strong legs and no fear of heights. The player performing the Roadblock must climb a swinging metal ladder 75 feet to the girders below a bridge. Once they reach the girder they must walk along two steel planks to a woman holding the next clue. Then the player must step off the bridge to be lowered down to the boat where their partner waits. The clue they have received leads them to Manila Philippines. Once in Manila teams will proceed to Malaguena Motors where they will find a clue instructing them to decorate a “Jeepnee”… yeah, spell check doesn’t like that, but I have no clue how to spell it. Spell check suggests “Jeanie” and “Jennie” among other things, but they are not decorating either of those things, so I’m sticking with my awful guess at the spelling. Once the Jeepnee is decorated a driver will decide if it was done properly. If so he will give them the next clue and drive them where they need to go. This takes teams approximately 43 miles to the Giant Duck where the Detour clue awaits. The Detour has the choice of Plow or Fowl. Teams choosing Plow must use an ox drawn plow in a marked field. They must plow until the blade picks up a rope and drags the next clue to the surface. If teams opt for Fowl they must work together to herd 1,000 ducks from one pen to another, 50 yards away. Oxen are used to working with people, so that detour may be easier, but the duck choice may be faster even if ducks are not at all used to working with humans. Either choice will give the teams the final clue directing them back to Manila, now 120 miles away, where the Coconut Palace is the location for this weeks Pit Stop. And away we go…
Colin and Christie 4:56 am
Colin informs us that other teams make stupid mistakes. Christie chimes in to let us know that the other teams suck. She laughs as she says it and I feel bad for defending her a few weeks ago when Colin went off on her in the police station. The twosome is starting to get cocky, but everything really does seem to be going their way. They have no problem getting to the marina and finding the boat. Once Colin lowers the clue and learns that the person choosing to do the Roadblock must be strong, he jumps at the chance to do it. He has no problems climbing the ladder, walking the girders or stepping off the bridge. This depresses me. While being lowered to the boat he is yelling and having fun which prompts Christie to tell him he’s stupid. Yeah, God forbid he try to have fun. They arrive at the airport and have 25 minutes to make a flight. When they go to buy tickets they learn the flight has been delayed, which is good as they wouldn’t have been allowed on it if it were taking off on time. They are thrilled with their luck and happy to know that the ticket agent believes they will still make the connecting flight to Manila. Their cockiness is grating and I spend a lot of time rolling my eyes. The pair takes a hit when they miss the connecting flight and have to fly to Hong Kong to get a connection to Manila. They are starting to worry until they see the other teams waiting for the same final flight. They have all been equalized. I am not sure as to how it happens, but they are the last two out of the airport. They arrive at the Jeepnees and are furious to learn that they have been Yielded. As they stand on the mat waiting for the timer to finish they watch the other teams hoping they can decorate the vehicles faster if they know what to do. Colin id positively seething and his stares are making the other contestants a tad nervous. I have noticed that when things are going well for these two they seem to get along fairly well. Things are not going well now, so the arguing starts again while they are decorating the Jeepnee. They seem to finish in good time and the driver hands them the next clue. The three (well, 5 including the camera man and sound guy) climb into the car and start the journey to the Giant Duck. Christie climbs into the fron seat next to the driver and starts yelling at him to: “Please hurry, please hurry, please hurry”. The driver seems irritated. She then starts yelling some more, and upon seeing a couple in the street yells… and I quote…”Whoa, it’s OK, run them over, they’re not….” Colin cuts her off here and I miss the last part. They’re not what Christie? Important? Supposed to be in the street? Related to me? What is it???? Christie does her best to calm down and tries to talk nicely to the driver. She informs him that they must catch the other teams, as the others yielded them and played unfair. I wonder what the driver is thinking at this point, and if he seriously gives a crap if the team has been yielded. I find it interesting that using the Fast Forward is completely fair but using the equally game legal Yield is Not fair. The driver gets them to the Giant Duck and as Christie steps out of the cab she turns to the driver and says “I’m really sorry, I know it’s not an excuse, but we’re frustrated. I hope you can understand that and will be able to accept my apology”. HA! No she doesn’t. As Christie exits the cab she yells to Colin: “Let’s just GET OUT”. At the Detour, they choose to Plow… or rather they choose to have Colin Plow as Christie stands in the mud telling him he’s doing it wrong. The ox is taking Colin through the field, but in some random order. He finally walks up to Christie, practically begging to be led. This prompts Christie to sneer at the ox and tell Colin there’s nothing she can do. The ox almost leaves the marked field and Colin yells that his ox is broken. He is starting to have a serious melt down as he can not control the beast. Colin is having a melt down too. Christie continues her interesting form of support by telling Colin to steer the ox. Colin insists that he can’t and we watch the ox try to leave the field again. Colin starts yelling… again and claiming that this is BS… It’s an Ox not a Bull Colin. Over and over Christie is telling Colin he’s doing it wrong, that he needs to steer the ox. Over and over Colin is yelling that the ox won’t work. Finally Colin puts his head down and mutters :Oh my God, I hate you”. I have no idea if he’s talking to the Ox, Christie, or both. Somehow the dysfunctional pair find the clue and the ox breaths a sigh of relief. Colin and Christie learn that they cannot get a cab to the Coconut Palace ”from here”. They hop on a bus planning to get off in a larger town to hop a cab. They seem to have no problem, and luck out with a cabbie who knows exactly how to get to the Palace. They see the mat, run, and arrive…
Karen and Linda 6:23 am
The moms never expected to be leaving second. They are happy about their placement, but for some reason they start arguing almost immediately. Unlike Colin and Christie… and a lot of other people really, these two seem to get along better when they are behind. They are trying to get to the Marina and Karen has the map in the back seat. Linda asks if they need to go right or left, but Karen has no idea. Linda wants the map, so she stops the car and Karen throws the map up to her friend. They manage to get lost and have to ask a man for directions. Knowing they may no longer be in second place they start working together again. Linda chooses to do the Roadblock and talks to herself the entire way up the ladder. “Heel, toe… heel, toe”. She seems to get to the top quickly and steels herself for the walk across the girders. Karen is down in the boat yelling encouraging words to her friend and it seems to work. Linda walks the girders and is relieved to get to the woman with the clue. Her relief is short lived however, when she learns she must step off the bridge to be lowered to the boat. She fears she can’t do it, and once again we go to the commercial with Linda’s face in anguish. Since this happens at every roadblock I rest assured that she will, eventually, step off the bridge. I am wrong. She really can’t step off. She decides to climb down and hang off the edge so that she literally drops off the bridge. As she flies down to Karen I turn to my husband and say: “Hey, she looks like Peter Pan”. I barely finish my sentence when Karen says to Linda: “Hey, you look like Peter Pan”. Weird. Even weirder that it caused my husband and I to laugh out loud… I mean really laugh. We are a sad pair, as really, it wasn’t that funny at all. As mentioned above they are equalized with all teams in the Hong Kong airport as they await the flight to the Philippines. They arrive at the “Yield” sign and are in agreement with other teams: Colin and Christie need to be Yielded. They opt however to let another team do the dirty work, and proceed to start decorating the Jeepnee. Being mothers they have no problem following the directions and place the decorations on the Jeepnee in good time. The driver takes them to the Giant Duck and the moms decide to Plow for their Detour choice. Karen leads the Ox as Linda handles the plow… Hmmm one team member leads and the other plows… interesting way to accomplish this task. After receiving the clue they get on a bus to Manila. After riding for a little while they opt to get off the bus to get a cab. They try to hail one, but can’t seem to get a cab to stop. They watch the bus pull away and realize they’re stranded. Finally a taxi pulls over and luckily knows exactly where the Coconut Palace is. He drives them right there and they arrive…
Brandon and Nicole 6:46 am
Brandon says everyone wants to win. My God they boys a genius. The pair find the yacht in the marina and Nicole is positively thrilled to have Brandon do the Roadblock. Brandon isn’t quite as happy about it as Nicole is, but agrees to do it. Half way up the ladder he freezes. He is petrified with fear and cannot move at all. No, that didn’t really happen, but it was the halfway point where Brandon started to get nervous. He actually did a great job with the ladder and the girder walking. He steps of the bridge and…well… acts a tad foolish on the way down. For some reason Nicole didn’t call him an idiot. Weird. As we all know by now… assuming you’ve read the previous paragraphs… the teams are equalized in Hong Kong. Brandon and Nicole are standing at the Yield mat with the moms and Chip and Kim. They too think that Colin and Christie need to be yielded, but allow someone else to do it. The suspense is over eh? Yeah, Chip and Kim get to be the bad guys. I feel bad for Nicole during the Jeepnee decorating as the directions are very confusing, parts are labeled in a really strange way: Right Front, Right Rear, Left Front… etc. Poor Nicole has no idea what “Left” means. Those damn producers… that’s just not nice. They do manage, by the grace of God, to finish the Jeepnee, and get to the Detour. Nicole wants to choose Fowl, but Brandon says the ducks will “Fly and Yap and stuff”. Hmmm, yapping ducks? What’s next…quacking Toy Poodles? Nicole relents and it’s off to the Ox and Field. These two also opt for the Leader and Plower method of working together. Brandon uses the Plow as Nicole leads the OX. It seems as though they find the clue quickly. They thank God, compliment each other, and head off for the bus. After riding for a while they decide that a larger town may have a taxi that will take them directly to the Pit Stop. Immediately upon exiting the bus they are able to grab a cab. They are energized until they realize that the cabbie wants to take the to the “Cookie Palace”. These two seem to have crappy luck with cabs. They hand the cabbie the clue so he can see for himself and although he takes the clue, he seems no more confidant in where he is to take them. Finally the cabbie gets them where they need to be and they run for the mat. Brandon and Nicole arrive…
Chip and Kim 7:02 am
Chip has decided that this isn’t the time for friends. The married couple can have friends after the race. They get to the marina with no problems and everyone knows, perhaps before the clue is opened, that Chip will be performing the Roadblock this week. Chip does have both strong arms and strong legs, but with that muscle come weight. He seems to have trouble making it up the ladder, praying along the way. Once on the girders he takes, what can only be described as teeny-tiny steps. Chip does make it to the clue and for some reason decides to step off the bridge backwards. I find that odd, yet I’m not sure why. Hee, hee… I’m looking over my notes and see that I’ve written: “excited as always about Phil”. I had to wonder if I’d been in some fugue state as I took notes… no, I wasn’t… my notes translate to: As always, the couple is excited about their next destination, this time the Philippines. While leaving the bridge they see the moms on the way to the ladder. Chip comments that if they can do it, he guarantees that they will win the race. Of course we now know that the moms did indeed complete the Roadblock and I wonder if it’s a bit of foreshadowing there. So, they get to Hong Kong, are equalized with the others and as you’ve read decide to use the Yield. Chip doesn’t have a problem using it until he sees Colin and Christie. Chip can’t look them in the yes and has a hard time concentrating on the Jeepnee with Colin glaring at him. Kim feels bad too, but realizes it’s a game and they are playing it. They finish with the decorations and wind up choosing to Plow as their Detour choice too. Funny how these two decided that Chip could lead the ox while Kim directs the plow. I am thoroughly amazed at the fact that three teams figured out a way to do this detour. Hmmm, could you detect the sarcasm there? I would have loved to see Colin and Christie at the Pit stop as they all talked about who led and who plowed. The couple is upset to learn that no cab will take them straight to Manila and that they must take a bus. Like the others Chip and Kim decide that it’s in their best interest to get off the bus and find a cab. They are concerned as they can see no other teams. They do see the P[I]Pit Stop[/]I though, and they run to Phil… ha! Maybe they are excited about Phil after all. They arrive….
[The Pit Stop at the Coconut Palace
As always I’ll list the teams in the order in which they arrived followed by their departing place in parenthesis:
1. Chip and Kim (4) They win a trip to Hawaii
2. Linda and Karen (2)
3. Brandon and Nicole ((3)
4. Colin and Christie (1)
I couldn’t believe it! Colin and Christie came in last. I assumed we’d hear all about how it was only because of the Yield… that they would have won the whole thing… that Colin’s ox was broken. Unfortunately we got to hear non of that because my least favorite team came in last on the final Non Elimination Leg. I really thought that maybe the last one would be when they were down to three teams, but alas, it wasn’t. Phil made it clear once again that the NEL’s are predetermined. Blah! Be sure to tune in next week for the two-hour season finale where we will see one of the remaining four teams win a million dollars.
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