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Thread: "I Was So Close To A Title, Then I Quit" 8-10-04 episode recap.

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    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    "I Was So Close To A Title, Then I Quit" 8-10-04 episode recap.

    Yeah, that's a great title eh? If I happen to think of a good one I'll insert it later. Thanks John! I get to almost quote you this week.

    Hey… Was I giving the brothers a hard time? Was I the one making snide remarks? Could it have been cali, sweet, unpretentious cali, that laughed at the knee injuries? Spent time trying to come up with knee jokes? KARMA Babeeeee. Yeah, my knee hurts like hell this morning. No Little Z it is not because of my beautiful slide tackle on you Wednesday. It’s because I actually ran some… and I’m old… and I made fun of Marshall. I truly should have known better.

    Anyway, if you want lots of slams on the Brothers today I suggest you skip this recap. I don’t have it in me to be mean to them. They were very nice to each other and everyone around them this week. Jerks… taking away my material like that!

    So let’s get this thing going with what I call:

    The Particulars

    When teams leave the Sphinx after their mandatory 12 hour rest, they must head off to the Great Pyramid. Once they get there both team members must descend to a chamber 350 feet down. Once in the chamber, known as the “Creation Room” they will receive the next clue.

    This clue sends teams to the OLD airport where they must try to find a flight to Luxor Egypt and locate a temple known as the “Mound Of Creation”. If they can not find an earlier flight, there is an 11:30 Charter that will take them there.

    Once at the Mound Of Creation teams receive directions for this weeks

    Detour in which they must decide between Herd It or Haul It. Teams choosing Herd It must take a horse drawn carriage to Banana Island where they will load 10 goats or sheep (or a combination of both) into a boat. That boat takes the Herd to the other side of the Nile where a shepherd awaits with the next clue. If the team decides to Haul It, they will need to use (Gee, forgive my butchering of this word) a Shadou to fill an urn with water. They must then take that urn by donkey to a man with jugs… water jugs People!! After they fill one jug, which may take several trips, Jug Man will give them the next clue. Either choice reveals the same clue, sending teams to Habu Temple where the clue for the

    Roadblock awaits them. Teams must decide which partner has Keen eyes, and a lot of patience. Once the choice is made that player must choose one of 7 “dig sites” where they will dig and sift through the sand until they find a stone scarab. It quickly becomes obvious that not a single racer ever saw The Mummy as no one knows what the heck a scarab is. They must turn the scarab in and receive the clue sending them to the

    Pit Stop located on Crocodile Island on the Nile River. The last team to arrive will be eliminated…. And away we go:

    Colin and Christie 11:27 pm

    Colin is confidant that the lead they have from using last weeks Fast Forward will help them immensely on this leg. That is why one can’t help but laugh when we are shown the sign on the entrance to the Great Pyramid: “Hours of Operation 6am – 9pm” Poor, poor Colin. The seven-hour lead has just been cut to a 45 minute lead. They start their descent, and I must say Colin is trying hard to show Christie what he thinks is the best method. Leg over leg going sideways. Counting each step as a “1” or a “2” helps also. It certainly seems to work for Colin, but I honestly can’t even see Christie anywhere behind him. Evidently she catches up, as we see them in the “Creation Room” reading the clue. Colin is still confidant and feels certain that he and Christie will be able to get on a flight that leaves earlier than the charter flight. The first stop they make is at the international airport. I know this as the sign is prominently displayed behind them as they exit the cab. Of course, they realize the mistake. Not because they read the sign though, but because they went in and tried to find another flight. I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if they had arrived moments earlier, as there was a flight leaving, but it had already closed. If they’d made it would they have been penalized for taking a flight from the New Airport instead of the Old one? Hmmm, doesn’t really matter does it? So, Colin and Christie hop a cab to the Old Airport, but this time want to make sure they are in the right place. They leave all their belongings in the trunk of the cab, and… this is important… they do NOT pay the cabbie. The transaction is NOT over. I will get into that a little later. Let me just close this portion of the journey by saying that Christie can’t believe the audacity of another team, and Colin hates them. Well, ponder that one for a while, I bet you’ll never guess who it is. So, Colin and Christie await the charter flight and sit idly by as more teams arrive. When they arrive in Luxor they hop a cab to the temple. The clue awaits inside, and teams must buy tickets to enter. Wow, tickets to enter a temple. I find that unsettling. Anyway, Colin manages to bump into Mirna while exiting the ticket line, prompting Mirna to tell us he’s jealous of her. I don’t get it, but thought I’d add it in anyway as it’s a tad comical in my opinion. The pair quickly decide that the Haul it choice of the Detour would better suit them. Colin is very good at filling the urn with the water and hops onto the donkey so Christie can lead it to Jug Man. Jug Man is one extremely happy fellow. He’s clapping and cheering as Colin empties the urn of water into the jug. Jug Man sends them back for more, still hollerin’ and hootin’ away. The second urn fills it and Jug Man does a little happy dance for us as Colin and Christie head off for the Habu Temple. The clue there informs the teams of the Roadblock. Colin seems to think he has the keen eyes and is a patient person so he offers to do it. Christie questions his decision, but Colin flashes her a look that has her saying “OK”, before she’s really even done questioning. Good Girl, you do just what Colin says and your life will always be fine. Or not fine at all, one or the other. Colin decides that a scarab is a sword until he sees that the sifter provided really wouldn’t hold a sword. The two spend time trying to figure out what he is looking for as he digs. Finally he finds it, deciding he must be right as it is the only thing he’s found that didn’t resemble something I find in the litter box every day. He graciously shows some other team members what it is they are looking for, and the two of them run to get the final clue. They head off for the Pit Stop and arrive…

    Charla and Mirna 6:41 am

    Mirna is convinced that every other team is jealous of her. Since all teams get to see Phil, I can’t figure out her reasoning. The cousins have a 4 minute lead over one team, and a 5 minute lead over another, so again I can’t figure them out when they seem shocked that teams have caught up to them at the Great Pyramid. Mirna is already complaining, and I fear a long episode is waiting. Charla basically walks through the tunnels leading to the clue as Mirna freaks out behind her. Once at the Old Terminal of the Airport they decide it may be agood idea to check out other flights at different terminals. Charla’s plan is to wait for another team to arrive and take that cab. This happens a few minutes later when Colin and Christie show up. The cousins run to the cab and hop in. Colin is going off about his stuff being in the back. Christie is freaking out that anyone would even think to take the cab.Mirna is saying since they got out, the cab is free, Charla is saying they shouldn’t have gotten out, and since they did they should get back in and leave… something like that I swear. I’m wondering why everyone talks at the same time, making it harder on me. ME ME ME!!!!! Oops, sorry. So, the cousins finally get out, but no one is happy. Except maybe Chip who knows they are all in the right place anyway. Charla and Mirna get on the charter flight, and head off for the temple. Once they get the directions for the Detour they decide to Herd It and head off for the river to gather sheep. There are many, many sheep and goats hanging out by the shore. Some are rather large and some are quite small. Mirna brilliantly grabs big ones to carry to the boat. Charla is hanging out on the boat trying to stop the ones Mirna collects, from jumping off. She is scared of them though, and everyone knows sheep can sense fear. I am absolutely shocked that they weren’t attacked. Lucky if ya ask me. So, after complaining about the impossible task she’s doing, Mirna somehow gets the strength to go on, and gets all the sheep loaded. They take them across the river and receive the next clue. Now I don’t know if Charla complained a lot at the Pit Stop, but Mirna decides to do the Roadblock even after carrying all those sheep. I must say I am very surprised. Mirna has no clue what a scarab is but at some point in her digging decides that since you needed good vision, it might be small, like a bug or something. She finally gets it, and the cousins head off for the Pit Stop where they arrive…

    Brandon and Nicole 6:45 am

    Obviously this is one of the teams that caught up with Charla and Mirna. When they are all down in the “Creation Room “ we hear that it is very hot, so Brandon must remove his shirt. Nicole drools, Mirna admits that he’s cute, cali rolls her eyes. The dating couple get the charter to Luxor, and have no problem getting a cab to take them to the first clue. Once reading the descriptions for the Detour they decide to Haul It and head off to fill the urn. I don’t know if they got an especially ornery donkey, or if they are clueless about everything, but they are having major Donkey problems. Nicole is pulling, Brandon is falling off, cali is laughing. As I mentioned above, Jug Man is just one hell of a happy guy. He is thrilled to see them as they fill the jug. He sends them back for another one, but ew don’t get to see the misadventures this time around. The jug gets filled, Jug Man dances and Brandon and Nicole head off in search of another clue. At the Roadblock it’s up to Brandon to dig. He is having a hard time, and of course doesn’t have any idea what a scarab is. He’s digging and whining and passive aggressive in his attempts to get Nicole to boost his ego. He asks that she pray for him. Dear Creator, hear my prayer! We are in the desert… I know you see us! We are trying to win money on a TV show! Please help us… you can get back to the “Cure my kid of cancer prayers” later Lord, this won’t take you long! Amen. So, even though she prays, it still takes Brandon a while to find it. The two turn it in for the next clue, and head off for the Pit Stop arriving…

    Chip and Kim 6:46 am

    Kim is feeling guilty about not being able to help a lot on the different challenges they’ve had. I think that’s sweet, but then she mentions that she wants to help more to build her confidence. It apparently has nothing to do with actually helping Chip out. When they start the descent to the “Creation Room” we see that Chip really is a big guy, as there are parts of the tunnel that he barely fits in. They both make it down easily and after finding out that they need to et to Luxor, they go back to the surface and hop a cab. Chip comments that he wonders how Marshall will do, as this trip was hard on his knees, and he doesn’t have knee problems. While watchig the fun argument at the airport, Chip finds it funny that they are all at the right place any way. I guess I won’t give away too much when I say that Yes, this is indeed a great equalizer, as all but one of the teams are standing around waiting for the delayed Charter Flight. As teams exit the airport, they find themselves in a cab behind many other racers. Luckily they have found a cabbie who seems to be related to Mario Andretti… (OK, I apologize, I know nothing about car racing… I just know the name Andretti. I think there’s a Gordon too… but you can insert any racer name you’d like in there) The cabbie passes all the other cabs. This might not seem to thrilling, but they are on a two lane road, and the lanes go in opposite directions. They are speeding right into oncoming traffic. Chip is laughing, Kim is stunned. I do believe I would have soiled myself. The married couple decide they would have beter luck choosing the Herd It portion of the Detour and head for the docks. Chip carries the sheep onto the boat, as Kim keeps them herded, she feels bad that she’s not helping much, but the sheep smell funky! I find it nice when teams are forced to sit and relax a bit as they were on the boat taking the sheep across the Nile. These times are made even more enjoyable when a team will use this time to truly enjoy the scenery as Chip and Kim did. Kim is more than happy to do the Roadblock and finally feels as though she is contributing in a positive way. It’s not long before she is getting discouraged as she is not the only one digging. She is worried that other teams will pass them and that she will fail. After digging and sifting for a while she finds the scarab, and she and Chip hide it from others so no one will figure out what it is they are looking for. They turn it in, get the clue and head off for the Pit Stop where they arrive…

    Marshall and Lance 7:21 am

    Marshall’s knees are actually feeling better after the 12 hour rest, but it’s not long before the walking starts taking it’s toll. Lance is carrying both bags, and doesn’t have a mean thing to say to anyone, not even the locals. It’s amazing. They aren’t thrilled to hear about the 350-foot descent, but instead of complaining they work together to try and find the best way to get both down to the room, and back up. When you think about it, 350 feet is a LOT of feet. A 100 yard football field is only 300 feet. A Ten story building is only 300 feet, and that’s if it had tall ceilings. The brothers are slow and steady, and they make it down. Luckily they also make the charter flight and have a few hours to get Marshall off his feet. In Luxor the phenomenal music that IS the Amazing Race is playing as the racers run to find the next clue. The music is loud, fast, and makes your heart pound a little harder in your chest. Until they get to a shot of Marshall and Lance. I almost feel bad as a laugh escapes. The music slows down and the brothers are seen walking slowly through the street. The music speeds up again, and we see the others looking like squirrels in the road trying to make a decision on which way to go when the car is coming. On the way toward the clue they pass the twins… no the twins aren’t dead, they are heading in the other direction. Kami and Karli see them and give them directions to the box. This is a Pay It Forward moment as they were given directions last week. The Detour choice they make is to Herd It and of course Lance boards the sheep as Marshall sits on the boat to guard them. They head off for the Habu Temple where it’s up to Lance to perform the Roadblock as Marshall pulls up a chair. They…

    Kami and Karli 8:33 am

    They are confused most of the time. Hey! Don’t get mad at me, they are the ones who said it. They inform us that they are never sure whether they are reading the clues right or not, and it is slowing them down. The twins don’t know what descend means, and I can’t help but think that confusion is the least of their problems. They do figure it out… perhaps the red and yellow flag hanging over the tunnel that “Goes Downward” was a hint, I don’t know. They get the clue and head of for the airport where they make it in time for the charter flight. At the temple they find themselves in the lead and decide to Herd It for the Detour. They hop into the horse carriage (which actually has a fancy name, but I don’t have any idea what it is) and get a great driver. If by great I really mean Crappy. The twins tell him about 5 times that they need to go to Banana Island and he responds 4 times with a resounding “Yes!”… the fifth time he responds with a “Banana Island? Oh” then turns the carriage around. After they share the responsibility of loading the sheep I think it’s Kami who announces, after several sneezes, that she thinks she’s allergic to…poop! I believe it’s Karli who performs the Roadblock. She is digging in one spot when Kami (if it is Karli doing the roadblock) points to a certain spot, and says “I’m telling you, I really feel like it’s right here”. Karli digs but finds nothing causing her to throw sand in Kami’s eyes… Kidding! It actually is right there, or the editing leads us to believe it is anyway. Karli grabs the scarab and the two turn it in for the final clue. They head off for the Pit Stop arriving…

    Linda and Karen 10:09 am

    The mothers have to start this leg with absolutely no money. All of it was taken at the end of last weeks Non Elimination Leg, and they do not receive the $65.00 that all other teams did to start today. They are forced to beg for money, which doesn’t sit well with either of them. They decide that the best thing to do is to ask tourists, as they know Egypt is not a rich country, and wouldn’t want to ask the locals. At first this strategy isn’t working as people just look at them and laugh. Soon a few tour buses pull up, and Karen and Linda hit the mother load. They try to sell the people apples and or oranges, but as far as I could tell the tourists just gave them money. The moms felt really bad, and were very thankful even when people decided not to give. I think they are pretty classy chicks! They make it down to the “Creation Room” and realize they have one hour to get back up, find a cab, get to the airport, check in and make the charter flight. Did you read Kami and Karli’s paragraph? I do believe that Linda and Karen’s cabbie was a relative of Kami and Karli’s carriage driver. I’d say the moms said “Old Airport” 7-8 times. Every time the statement was met with a “Yes! Yes!”. The cabbie drops them off and they are told they are at the New Airport. They have about 2 minutes until the flight takes off, and assume the plane is taxiing up the runway. Luckily for them the flight had been delayed and they are thrilled when they see other teams waiting to board. So, if you hadn’t figured it our yet, ALL teams were equalized. I believe this to be the first true equalizer this year. Their choice of Detour is to Herd It and Linda guards the sheep as Karen loads them. They, like Chip and Kim, enjoy the ride across the Nile, and unload the sheep. After receiving the next clue they decide that Linda will do the Roadblock. She has a great strategy. Or a terrible one. Yeah… it’s terrible. We sit and watch as she seems to dig in one spot the entire time. She is piling sand next to her and has a huge mound forming. I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach that she’s actually burying the scarab in her attempt to find it. Finally Karen suggests she dig in another spot and points out the huge area that Linda hadn’t even thought of digging in. Linda is getting more and more discouraged, but Karen is doing her best to keep both of their spirits’ up. After much digging the moms get the scarab and the clue. They head for the Pit Stop where they arrive…

    Crocodile Island, This Weeks Pit Stop

    As usual I will list the teams in the order they arrived. Their departing order will be in the parenthesis next to their names.

    Colin and Christie (1)
    Chip and Kim (4)
    Kami and Karli (6)
    Brandon and Nicole (3)
    Charla and Mirna (2)
    Linda and Karen (7)

    Now, usually this is where I say, “That means that so-and-so, came in last”. I won’t be saying that this week though. If you noticed in Marshall and Lance’s paragraph I ended it with: They… Well, they quit ladies and gentlemen. Not that it mattered much in the grand scheme of things. Lance realized that there were 7 sites to dig in, and after digging for a little while saw that 6 had already been dug up. Marshall was tired, Lance was tired, and they decided it wasn’t worth it. Phil came out to the dig site to tell them that they are the first team in the history of the race to have an injury that caused them to quit. He then told them that they’d be last if finished anyway. Lance was proud of Marshall, Marshall was proud of Lance. I’m glad I won’t be writing about them next week.

    Comments? E-me cali@fansofrealitytv.com
    Last edited by cali; 08-12-2004 at 03:50 PM.
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  2. #2
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Yeah, that's a great title eh? If I happen to think of a good one I'll insert it later.
    Cali, you were SO close to coming up with a title for this, and then you just quit!



    Great recap!

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    Answer's in John 3:16 Apollonia's Avatar
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    Nicole drools, Mirna admits that he’s cute, cali rolls her eyes.
    De-lurking to say that this was too funny, thanks for the recap.
    Inscribe zany quip here

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    LG.
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    thanks for the recap, cali. I'm glad you finished it. I loved this part, and I'm picturing you digging through the Pretty Kitty Litter right now:
    Finally he finds it, deciding he must be right as it is the only thing he’s found that didn’t resemble something I find in the litter box every day.
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

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    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    I like the title. And you're right, it is unsettling to buy tickets to enter a temple.

    Great job, cali!
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    What's The 411? Fanatic277's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cali
    Colin seems to think he has the keen eyes and is a patient person so he offers to do it. Christie questions his decision, but Colin flashes her a look that has her saying “OK”, before she’s really even done questioning. Good Girl, you do just what Colin says and your life will always be fine. Or not fine at all, one or the other.

    I’m wondering why everyone talks at the same time, making it harder on me. ME ME ME!!!!! Oops, sorry.

    we hear that it is very hot, so Brandon must remove his shirt. Nicole drools, Mirna admits that he’s cute, cali rolls her eyes.

    I don’t know if they got an especially ornery donkey, or if they are clueless about everything, but they are having major Donkey problems. Nicole is pulling, Brandon is falling off, cali is laughing.

    He asks that she pray for him. Dear Creator, hear my prayer! We are in the desert… I know you see us! We are trying to win money on a TV show! Please help us… you can get back to the “Cure my kid of cancer prayers” later Lord, this won’t take you long! Amen. So, even though she prays, it still takes Brandon a while to find it.

    On the way toward the clue they pass the twins… no the twins aren’t dead, they are heading in the other direction. Kami and Karli see them and give them directions to the box.
    Thanks for the excellent recap Cali, it was hilarious.

  7. #7
    FORT Fogey joeguy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cali
    Colin manages to bump into Mirna while exiting the ticket line,
    I was glad to see someone else noticed she was trying to go in the exit, i'd have bowled her over too


    It surpised me that they show the scarab to the others too as much as colin wants to be in the lead. surprized to at Chip hiding it. but then again it was the end of the leg.

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    Hey Cali great recap as usual! I especially like this paragraph!

    Quote Originally Posted by cali
    ... She is digging in one spot when Kami (if it is Karli doing the roadblock) points to a certain spot, and says “I’m telling you, I really feel like it’s right here”. Karli digs but finds nothing causing her to throw sand in Kami’s eyes… Kidding! ...
    Thanks for adding a little drama in this oh so boring team !

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    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cali
    They must then take that urn by donkey to a man with jugs… water jugs People!!

    When they are all down in the “Creation Room “ we hear that it is very hot, so Brandon must remove his shirt. Nicole drools, Mirna admits that he’s cute, cali rolls her eyes.

    The cabbie passes all the other cabs. This might not seem to thrilling, but they are on a two lane road, and the lanes go in opposite directions. They are speeding right into oncoming traffic. Chip is laughing, Kim is stunned. I do believe I would have soiled myself.

    On the way toward the clue they pass the twins… no the twins aren’t dead, they are heading in the other direction.

    The twins don’t know what descend means, and I can’t help but think that confusion is the least of their problems. They do figure it out… perhaps the red and yellow flag hanging over the tunnel that “Goes Downward” was a hint, I don’t know.


    Great job, Cali. (I have been in a cab in Mexico City alot like the one Chip and Kim were in...I nearly soiled myself, too. )
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

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    Jug Man

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