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Thread: They Never Claimed It Was Calamari TAR recap Episode 10

  1. #11
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    David and Jeff realize that their stomachs are not quite as strong as they thought, and decide to “pull and Ken and Gerard” and change detours halfway through.
    ABORT! ABORT!

  2. #12
    COMBAT MISSIONS junkie! BravoFan's Avatar
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    OMG!
    Silly kids… that’s Phil talking. He could be catching me up on the amount of lint he found in the dryer and I would listen. Rewind.

    I am pretty sure I’ve mentioned in a previous recap that teams should not take the “Yes” head movement that is the nod to actually mean yes. Oh well.
    “pull and Ken and Gerard”
    Ah, the "Abort!" I still to this day think about that and laugh.

    And there were some other VERY funny parts that got me earlier that I didn't quote here, but you know what they are.
    "They can only edit what you give them. They cannot manufacture a fictional character out of thin air." (Bill Rancic - 4/04)
    Regarding editing reality TV: "You can't edit IN a bad personality." ("Cali"-11/02)
    BB8 - A "conveyor belt of human garbage." ("Pono" - 9/07)

  3. #13
    FORT Fogey kyrjar's Avatar
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    great reacap, and I personally don't mind seeing the K/J comments as it assures me that I am correct that those two are despicable (and I rarely, rarely say that about anyone -- I probably annoy people with my defenses of people when I think the criticism is overboard).

    For an NEL, it was an enjoyable show.

  4. #14
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    They never claimed it was Calimari TAR recap episode 10

    CALI, I have been reading your recaps for the past two season, and have enjoyed them "almost" as much as the show, keep up the good work. No need to "ABORT,ABORT!!!!" anytime soon.

  5. #15
    LG.
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    fantastic job, Cali, this was my favorite part:
    Once at the temple, they seem to have no problem locating their Buddha. I seem to think Buddha himself was throwing the statue at them, along with the key, the rattan basket, and the clue. Anything to get them out of the temple. I could be wrong.
    Buddha himself can't stand Kelly and Jon and wants them out of the temple.

    BTW, there is no "secret" for breaking boards, just don't hit them with your thumb inside a closed fist or you'll break your thumb. I was friends with TKD blackbelt and it's straight, fluid motion with maximum force on the target aiming with the palm, side, or knuckles of your hand, but not a swing with a fist like boxing. You can also use your foot, or head, elbow, etc. Knuckles (like the teams used) break boards well because you have bone mass there, but you can also break those bones accidentally.
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

  6. #16
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Thanks guys.

    Droolingoverhim, I respect your post and appreciate that you wrote it in praising manor... that's hard to do when you really don't like something about it. I like that you pointed out the things you liked first... softens the blow.

    The funny thing is, I know I've been giving Jon and Kelly a really hard time which is why I started their paragraph this week with the disclaimer that I understand that what we see are edited versions of the couple. When I see them being nice (yes, it has happened) I actually try to point it out.

    Of course I don't want for either of them to be killed, and I realize it is an insensative thing to allude that I do (or outright state that I do), but their actions so grate on my last nerve.

    I could never write a recap for an official site, because there is no way I could keep my personal views out of the writing. That's why I love writing for the FORT.

    How about this?

    In next weeks recap I will not wish a hideous death to my least favorite team, but I also won't hold back if they are rude, snotty, immature, mean...

    Although I probably don't need to say that I hope these two don't win, they have brought some action to the show. I don't deny them that.

    I am really looking forward to Johns interview with them. If they've been reading I have a feeling they have some choice words for me. I will say that I hope they don't want me killed
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  7. #17
    eny
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    We love you just the way you are Cali don't change ...
    As always, a pepsi through the nose recap.

  8. #18
    Courtesy and Goodwill Mantenna's Avatar
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    GREAT recap, Cali!!! I always love your level of hilarity and remarkable wit. However, I also find one thing slightly disturbing about your recaps. I, too, really enjoy reading your recap as previously mentioned, and I'm not insulting you in any way. But as I just read on and on, I find that your comments towards Jon and Kelly are simply too *kind* based on their actions during the series.

    Please try to do better in the future!

  9. #19
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Mantenna!

    pepsi through nose = Flo's voice in ear

    Sorry eny!


    LG, I missed your post when I was busy typing mine...I think I'll go to the workshop and try it. If I'm not here typing tomorrow it's all LG's fault
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  10. #20
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    Hilarious recap, as always!

    Don't change a thing about the way you write. It is fantastic!
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

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