I love The Amazing Race. I had been looking forward to 8pm Thursday since 9pm last Thursday. Yeah, it’s not a good idea to wish your life away, but I really dig this show. I have a TiVo wanna be that allows me to pause live TV, but still don’t even think of calling me Thursday evening. Just don’t.
8:04 Ring, Ring. Now in my house you have to answer the phone if your home. If you let it ring more than two and half times the dog starts to howl.
“No, I don’t want to re-mortgage, thank you” Click
8:07 Ring. Ring
“No, I don’t want to transfer my higher rate credit cards” Click.
8:11 Ring Ri…. Phone now unplugged. Screw you all.
It’s Phil, he’s catching us up on last weeks happenings. I know I don’t have to watch, but I want to listen. Man what a voice.
The Race is beginning.
First I’ll go ahead and list all the stops they will need to make along the way.
Leave the pit stop and make your way to Trampolino Olimpico. No, sorry to inform all the guys it has nothing to do with trampolines, so you won’t get to see the models (all 16 of them) jumping on trampolines tonight. Here the teams must take a raft down an Olympic ski jump. The important thing to remember is that you must take a van with a raft on top of it up to the top of the hill, so you have something to ride down in.
The next clue tells players to go to Ponte Della Guglia Bridge by taking one of two trains. A train will leave from a closer station: calalzo and arrive second and a farther station: Alpi and arrive first.
Take the train to Venice to perform the Detour: Waterway or Pathway. For teams choosing Waterway they must guide a Gondolier through the water ways to a specific area without getting help or directions from anyone. For those choosing Pathway they must find the same spot by walking the alleys and streets, but they may ask for directions and help from anyone they encounter.
The Roadblock takes place at Palazzo Da Mosto where there will be a rousing, exciting, fantastic, thrilling, exhilarating, invigorating… wait I mean extremely boring party where guests walk around slowly wearing masks. The person who chooses to perform the Roadblock will have a picture of a mask and must find the party goer wearing the same mask. If they are correct they get the next clue, if not they need to leave the party and get back in line to try again.
The next clue directs them to the Pit Stop on the Citta Di Padova boat docked on the edge of the main lagoon in Venice.
This weeks Fast Forward will require the racers to find a plaza and participate in a comedic street performance with Commedia Dell’Arte after a few moments the Fast Forward will be revealed.
Millie and Chuck – 11:52pm
These two inform us that they are stubborn competitors. Millie feels the need to tell us that you have to have will power to stay a virgin this long. I figured it was either will power or the fact that you were not at all attracted to your partner. Nice that she cleared that up for me.
They take a cab to the first task and Millie, and I think Chuck too, start screaming before the raft moves.
They have decided to wait for the other first place teams at the bottom of the hill. Al three teams decided this, of course for team three it was a no-brainer. Nice is nice, but a race is a race. I don’t think this is a good idea. Of course, I didn’t think about the…
EQUALIZER At the bus station.
These two wind up on a bus that takes them to the Alpi train station and it’s off to Venice where they make what I believe to be the wise choice of Walkway for their detour. They make very good time and find the next clue quickly. This puts them in the lead, with no promises to wait for others. I think this is a good idea, but I really didn’t expect another…
EQUALIZER at the Roadblock.
Millie chooses to perform the Find-a-mask task and walks around the party grabbing everyone’s faces and turning them towards her. This seems to be a good strategy, as she makes it out rather quickly.
Chuck is waiting and they make their way through the confusing crowded streets looking for the Pit Stop. They finally see it and run towards the ramp that will lead them to Phil.
Amanda and Chris – 11:52pm
Chris thinks that he might upset Amanda by yelling at her all the time. Wow, what an enlightened guy this Chris turned out to be.
They seem to have fun on the raft ride down the hill, and I find it funny that Amanda is silent the entire ride down… no matter as Chris screams enough for the both of them.
If you read Millie and Chuck’s paragraph you know there is an EQUALIZER at the train station. They hang out with out any yelling or cussing as they await the train. They see the bus taking many teams to the earlier train and hop on board.
At the Detour they decide to take a gondola ride and Amanda decides to enjoy the scenery, she then surprises me by asking the gondolier to sing. He obliges and I think I may actually like last week’s potty mouth extraordinaire.
Of course they wind up EQUALIZED once again and have to wait for the Party to start. I assume they wander around Venice in the time they have to kill, as they get a crappy place in line.
Amanda is concerned about doing the Detour so it’s up to Chris. He enters the party and finds the person wearing the mask… in someone else’s photo. He is rejected and needs to head outside to get back in line. On his next turn in, he knows he has to be careful. He studies the picture and finds the right mask… to match someone else’s photo. Outside once again Chris.
He really does find the right partier on his third trip and runs out to grab Amanda and head off to the Pit Stop.
Steve and Josh – 11:52pm
Josh lets us know that there was a time in his life when he and Dad hated eachother. I find that amazing as I thought only I went through that awkward stage with my folks. I guess they are over that now, as when they are seated in the raft Josh looks over at his pop and says “hold me daddy”. I am disturbed by that, but I won’t linger.
It’s only the third team I am recapping and already I’m tired of typing:
EQUALIZER. Yes, they too wind up waiting for the train station to open. There is a little spat going on with some of the teams. I won’t get further into that until the other teams make an appearnance in the recap, but I will say that I found it interesting that most of the argument was in fact due to Josh’s behavior at the airport in Los Angelos, yet he seemed mighty quiet here at the train station.
He does say that Reichen and Chip and David and Jeff are real threats and teams should work to eliminate them. This bothers me, but what bothers me more is that I am pretty sure he didn’t mention the clowns! What’s wrong with him?
Steve and Josh hop the bus to the earlier train and decide upon Waterway for their Detour choice. They don’t like the fact that they got a slow gondolier. I find that fact funny.
Of course these two are
EQUALIZED again at the party. They decide to do some sight seeing and Josh is upset that when they get back people are waiting in line. It seems to shock him that anyone would even think of that.
He is holding a photo of a mask with black gold and red in it. He already decided that this would have been a better detour for his dad. To bad bucko… use the force.
The force is not found and he gives his photo to the wrong reveler. Outside he is very hard on himself for messing this up. I have a feeling things could get tough for him in this race.
His second attempt sees him being more careful and he finally finds the correct mask. He hightails it outside to find dad and they run through the now drizzly city of Venice looking for the Pit Stop.
Monica and Sheree – 12:49am
Having used the Fast Forward last week, or yesterday, they realize they need to stay in the front of the pack. They are very excited about the first task, and I really like these two. Then they have to go talk about their “luxurious” lives again. I don’t want to hear it chickies.
They scream in delight the whole way down the slide and are feeling great until they find out that they have hit an…
While waiting for the train, they smile as Josh talks about some of the other teams being a threat. On the last episode they said they felt as though Josh had “made things right” by directing them to the 4am bus. The look on their faces as Josh talks tells me a different story. I think Josh better watch his butt with these two.
Monica and Sheree make the bus to the earlier train, and when they arrive at the Detour they hop into a gondola. Again they are feeling good about their position in the pack, until they learn of the next
EQUALIZER. Monica decides to perform the Roadblock and realizes that she has to be careful not to give the wrong person the picture. She really doesn’t want to mess this up. She wanders from room to room, but did not master the “face grab” technique, so never got a really good long look at anyone. She finally manages to hand over the photo to the correct person and runs to the side lines to grab Sheree.
The two run through the streets trying to find the Pit Stop, going so far as to ask directions from another person in the streets who also happened to be lost. They see the boat and run towards Phil.
Steve and Jeff – 1:05am
These two seem start the game well as they ask a hotel guy to phone for a taxi. They arrive at the Trampolino Olimpico and I realize that there are probably people who are actually happy that it doesn’t involve a trampoline. They hop into their raft and start yelling “Gravity, Gravity”. I don’t ever want my air traffic controllers rooting for Gravity to win. EVER.
EQUALIZER. They take it upon themselves to be part of the disagreement at the train station. Again I am going to wait before going into any detail as all the teams involved haven’t been “‘capped by cali yet”.
They grab the bus and also make the earlier train to Venice. Once there they realize that the only smart thing to do is take the Waterway choice of Detour, as their knees are not in great shape.
They realize that they still have the Fast Forward at their disposal, and recognize the need to use it as all the teams have hit an…
Dave does a great job of standing around in costume narrating the “play” for us as Steve gets operated on with a saw. No wonder health care is free in Italy.
They receive the Fast Forward and head off to hang with Phil.
Kelly and Jon – 1:16am
They are arguing by 1:17am. I find that sad. Of course I must admit that I have come to the realization that I might not do as well on this race as I previously thought. I have a schedule dammit, and snow rafting in the wee hours of the morning is not a part of it. I might be crabby too.
I guess they were both sleepy as they incorrectly read the clue and took a taxi to the top of the rafting hill. They would have to get down to the bottom to get in a van with raft in order to correctly finish the task.
Realizing that the shortest distance between two points is a slippery, steep ass hill, they slide down on their buttocks. You can here Steve and Dave as they remark in awe that this is a really stupid move. They (Steve and Dave) had no idea that Kelly and Jon were this stupid.
They make it intact and hitch a ride to the top in order to ride the raft down.
In order to save money, Kelly decides it’s a better move to take a taxi to the bus and a bus to the train station. I’m not sure what to make of this. I do know that while on their bus, they miss the other bus to the train station with the earlier train. Silly Kelly.
Once they arrive at the Detour they choose Pathways. Jon takes the lead and they find themselves on a walking tour of Venice, that somehow does not include the plaza they are trying to find.
Some how they do make it in time to be in on the great….
Jon wants to party, so he collects the photo. He wanders around and his photo is accepted on his first try. He collects Kelly and off they go.
Jon and Al – 1:22am
I had a hard time believing the screams that came out of these guys as they made their way down the ski slope in their raft. One would think that being shot out of cannons would prepare you somewhat for a boat ride on a hill. I guess you just can’t hear the screams over the cannon fire.
Once at the train station they look on as other teams argue. No need to get involved in this.
They get the bus to the early train. No I didn’t forget. They too realize they’ve come upon an…
Once in Venice they choose the Gondola ride offered in the Waterway option, and enjoy their leisurely trip through the city.
When they get to the Party House, they figure they might as well go entertain the people of Venice as they have hit another
Al... heck, I think it’s AL balances what looks like some type of wheelbarrow on his chin. This is more impressive than the clue that was balanced last week, and I have to admit to actually trying to balance en envelope on my nose. What a sad life I live.
Al is up for the Roadblock and feels rather uneasy being the person NOT made up to look like a clown. He doesn’t actually tell us this, but it’s obvious to all those really watching. Or at lest to re-cappers trying to use up space in what would have been a short paragraph. Al finds his mark and he and Jon head off in search of Phil on the boat.
Russell and Cindy – 1:44am
Cindy tells us again how very smart Russell is.
Russell proves this by going the wrong way to the first task. After walking around in a huge circle they find themselves back at the Pit Stop. They run around trying to find the mat, but Phil just laughs at them and sends them on their way.
No, that didn’t happen. Oh... they did make the big circle, but they didn't really try to find the mat.... unless that was edited out... hmmmm, pesky editing.
They grab a taxi and head for the rafts. They seem to enjoy their trip down. Unlike the teams initially in the lead, Russell and Cindy don’t seem to upset about the…
Somehow, even after getting lost, they make the first train to Venice. On the ride Cindy wonders if Russell is the right partner for her. I don’t know if she means life partner or race partner. If it’s race partner I don’t know what she talking about. She seems upset that he is busy trying to get organized and prying information from other teams instead of relaxing on the train like she has chosen to do.
In Venice they decide to take the Waterway and again aren’t too upset about finding out they have yet another…
EQUALIZER at the Roadblock. Russell takes the initiative at the Roadblock, because he has proven himself so well at following directions. They are smart enough to get in line early and he is the first racer into the party. He studies the masks better than he does masks, and finds his match. He hands over the photo and runs to get Cindy.
They race around the streets of Venice in search of Phil. They spot him and head off.
Reichen and Chip – 2:29am
They take a taxi to the hill and inform us that they have realized they will have to play hard and maybe mean in this race. They let us know that this is not their fault, but the tone was set back at LAX when Josh bought tickets for Steve and Dave.
They enjoy their ride in the raft and are not at all upset to find themselves at a great…
They determine that the clue says nothing about first come first serve and therefore they have the right to butt to the front of the line and hold onto the train station doors. This upsets other teams, but it’s mostly Steve and Dave who try to argue the point with them. Reichen and Chip refuse to listen, explaining that they are carrying on where Josh left off. Steve or perhaps it was Dave points out that the other Steve’s backpack is actually holding Steve and Josh’s place in line. Reichen and Chip find this laughable, as do I. The entire point is moot, as a bus comes up to take them all to the other train station. Reichen and Chip made more enemies, and it was all for nothing.
They decide to take the Waterway as their Detour and make pretty good time. Again they realize there is another…
EQUALIZER at the party. They get back to the line relatively early and Chip decides to perform the Roadblock while Reichen waits patiently outside. After having his photo accepted they run off to find the Pit Stop
David and Jeff – 3:08
I know these two were in this episode as I saw them leave. I also saw them arrive at the end.
I wish there was something I s=could say besides:
Had fun on slide. Realized they were at an…
Took train to Venice and chose Waterway. Found themselves at another
EQUALIZER where Jeff attends the party and finds his mask match person.
Run around and head to Pit Stop
I really feel that more must have happened. I wish I knew something about them so I could find filler for this paragraph. I don’t know squat about them though, so this part of the re-cap is over.
Tian and Jaree – 3:43
These two know they must work hard to get themselves out of the rear. Tian tries to accomplish this by telling Jaree that she can’t run and they will lose if she (Jaree) doesn’t work harder.
They decide to run to the first task, even though they are in last place.
Didn’t Tian just explain that Jaree is slow?
Yes, she did. Jaree needs to catch her breath about a third of the way to the task.
They do seem to have fun on the raft ride, but are shocked when they arrive at the train staion and see only one team waiting.
**Clue reads that there are TWO trains from which to choose
Still they wander around the train station surmising that all but one other team disappeared off the face of the earth. They then sit on the train talking about how weird it is that there are no other teams on this train. Finally they decide to actually ask a train attendant and seem genuinely surprised to learn that there was a train that would arrive in Venice earlier.
This causes Tian and Jaree to fight some more over Jaree’s slowness. Oh, her running ability that is.
At the detour they choose to take the Waterway option, and Tian laments that she always thought she’d be in a gondola with her lover, but that Jaree would due. Jaree comments that Tian is so nice to her when they are doing well.
Jaree, you are WAY BEHIND OTHER TEAMS AT THIS POINT. Ahhhh, maybe she somehow knew about the…
EQUALIZER, in which Tian is the partier.
She does a good job locating her match, but knows that now Jaree is going to have to run in order to make it to the Pit Stop before other teams. They run, well, as best they can, and I will say that Jaree didn’t need a leash this time, and see the Pit Stop
Pit Stop on the Citta Di Padova Boat
There’s Phil, yeah there’s some guy dressed centuries old garb there with him, but… it’s Phil, did you think I would notice anyone else at all?
1. Steve and Dave There was no trip for these two… I can only assume that the prize hogs from last week won Steve and Dave’s instead.
2. Reichen and Chip
3. Kelly and Jon
4. Tian and Jaree
5. Dave and Jeff
6. Jon and Al
7. Russell and Cindy
8. Millie and Chuck
9. Steve and Josh
10. Monica and Sheree
Which of course means that Amanda and Chris have gone as far as they will in this edition of the Amazing Race. I was just starting to like you Amanda! We’ll miss ya.
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