"It's South To The Airport?" Amazing Race 4 episode 1 recap

[cali]

I approached 8pm like many of you on the 29th. By flying down Interstate 81 trying to get home in time for The Amazing Race. I know the other drivers were doing the same thing… why else would they be driving 95 mph?

I arrived home just in time, screeching to a stop at the end of my driveway and running out of the car. I felt like I was participating in The Amazing Race and the living room was my Pit Stop. Too bad Phil wasn’t there to welcome me.

Having an extra half hour of show time was a stroke of genius by CBS. I always felt as though we were cheated out of getting to know anyone in episode 1. This was great.

We begin this season Amazing Race with gorgeous shots of Los Angelos. For long time viewers we realize that this is just one of many beautiful scenic shots to come. Phil is shown on screen, and for a second I am in a trance and miss what he is saying, then his accent draws me in and I can finally concentrate. A little. Phil is introducing the teams.

Here at the FORT we have individual team threads set up. If you would like to visit one, just click on the team name below.

The Teams

Tian and Jaree: They inform us that they are so pretty they can get what ever they want.

Steve and Dave: These two are going to run the entire race without breaking a sweat.

Reichan and Chip: One of them wants to prove something to someone. I’m not sure what they want to prove, or if they want to prove it to America or the teams they are competing with.

Millie and Chuck: Chuck tells us that the Bible says there is to be no sex before marriage. He then informs us that he’s afraid of commitment. Twelve years honey… that is commitment. I personally think he’s afraid of sex.

Steve and Josh: They butted heads in Josh’s younger days, and want to re-connect.

Russell and Cindy: Cindy is looking for romance with Russell. Russell is not looking for anything.

Monica and Sheree: These two NFL wives want their husbands to put on little skirts and pom poms to cheer for them.

David and Jeff: Best friends who feel confident. Someone wake me up now.

Amanda and Chris: Promise to show us that they are not Backwards Bumpkins… obviously Chris did the talking, if it had been Amanda she would have said “We’re gonna F*****g prove to all these f*****s that we’re not f****n’ backwards f*****n’ bumpkins”

Kelly and Jon: Snore… oh, and they are both type “A” personalities.

Debra and Steve: Say they are “Fat, Forty and Fun”. They also tell us that they know they have to win this game mentally, as they will not win is physically.

Jon and Al: These two are planning on having fun. I assume they’ll spend time clownin’ around.

There they are ladies and gentleman. Your racers.

Phil informs us that the race is over 40,000 miles long. There are 13 legs and 9 of them are elimination rounds. He informs the teams that the world is waiting.

Damn he looks good.

And, they’re off:

If you have read my recaps before, you know that I like to get the logistics out of the way first, then recap each teams progress in the race. Here are said Logistics:

Get to Milan Three flights leave LAX for Milan. Flight one is Swiss Air, flight two is Lufthansa and the final flight to depart is KLM arriving an hour later than the earliest flight.

Galleria Victoria Emmanuel II Find the gallery, then search for tickets to charter busses. Busses leave at 2am, 4am and 6am. Once you take the ticket, you can not return it for a better one.

Cinque Torri Teams must take a chair lift to the top of the mountain to find the detour clue.

Detour Search or Rescue. In search teams use a small locating device to search a 160 acre field for keys to snowmobiles, then drive the snowmobiles to the next clue. For rescue teams must cross an Alpine Rescue Bridge made of four steel cables, Zip line across a ravine, then hike to the next clue.

Fast Forward This weeks fast forward requires the team to snow shoe up a snowy mountain, find the marker and claim the FF.

Pit Stop The Hotel Lajadira at the bottom of the Swiss Alps serves as this weeks Pit Stop. The last team to arrive will be philiminated.

The Racers ~ For episode one I recap the racers in the order they are introduced in the credits. In all other recaps I go in their departure order. Yes, folks I know I don’t know these people. I’m commenting on what I see. Enjoy it.

Here we go:

Kelly and John

Kelly already has one team pegged as the “California Guys”, as they have “That Look”. I have no idea who she is talking about. She wants Jon to hurry up, but does not want him to speed. Good strategy she has going for her. Jon just doesn’t wasn’t Kelly freakin’ out. He then proceeds to freak out as he is cut off in traffic by a couple of clowns.

They make it to the airport and are on a shuttle bus to the terminal when Monica and Sheree run up to get on. Jon instructs the driver NOT to open the doors, and the bus leaves the NFL wives behind.

They make the Swiss Air flight to Milan and have a lead on many other teams. They get to the galleria and start to look for the charter bus tickets. Kelly screams at Jon for being an idiot as the train station is in plain view. Hmmmm.

These two get tickets on the 4am charter bus. They decide to take the “Rescue” detour and make good time on both the bridge and the Zip line, which Kelly compares to marriage…. a big step off a cliff?

They head off for the Pit Stop, making good time hiking in the deep snow.

They arrive…


Monica and Sheree

I have been able to figure out which team member is which in most teams. This is not one of them. I paused on Monica for a while. Knew it was her as she was talking about “Sheree and myself”. I still cannot tell them apart. If they would wear different clothing it might help. Geez, they are looking to be seen as individuals?

They are ahead of other teams on the way to the airport, and as other teams begin to freak out at seeing a CHiP on the highway, these two roll down the window and actually get directions and an escort to the airport exit. I had to smile.

They arrive at the airport in time to make a shuttle carrying other teams over to the terminal, but the sucky shuttle driver decides to listen to Jon (of Kelly and Jon) who is already on the bus, and leaves them behind. They are not too happy, but still manage to get in line for the second flight. They are in position to get the last remaining tickets for the flight, but are screwed once again. This time by Josh, who buys the last two sets of tickets for his team and Steve and Dave, who are actually behind Monica and Sheree. This is the act that gives us the title to this weeks show, uttered by Moniree: “Cheaters Never Win and They Cheated”.

They do get tickets for the third flight out and arrive in Milan last. They run into Josh at the galleria and he directs them to tickets for the 4am shuttle.

After getting off the shuttle they discuss using the Fast Forward. They know they are not the last to arrive at this point, and that there are other teams at least two hours behind them. One would think this was enough to dissuade them from using it. One would be wrong for thinking that.

Monica and Sheree go for the FF and hike the hill in their snow shoes. They claim it and proceed to the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


Russell and Cindy

Russell has been to Italy. He’s cocky that this will help. It will not help them to get out of the parking lot of Dodger Stadium though, and until they do that, they are in the same boat as everyone else.

They manage to get to the airport in good time, but go straight to the Lufthansa ticket counter to get tickets. Had they checked with Swiss Air they could have easily made the first flight.

Once in Milan their previous visit pays off, as they are able to get a Taxi, just like everyone else. They find tickets for the 4am bus and decide it’s best to sleep outside to wait for it. This seems smart to me, as they have only 10 hours to wait, and if you’ve never been to Milan, you might not be able to recognize a hotel. Oh wait… they have been there. In that case they’re just stupid.

Russell does see fit to ask a policeman if it is OK to sit on a bench all night to wait. He gives them permission, but Cindy is upset because she thinks Russell should have asked if they could set up camp.

Russell comes to the realization that they need to work on communicating with each other.

They arrive at the detour and do a fine job with the “rescue” choice they made, and head off for the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


Reichen and Chip

These two feel as though other teams are trying to follow them out of the parking lot and Reichen thinks they should try to lose them, later they have 5 teams following them on the highway. Way to see a plan to fruition boys.

They wind up on the last flight to Milan, but don’t seem nearly as stressed about it as some of the other teams, in fact they are rather gay.

Getting a hotel room while waiting for the last shuttle was a smart move. Amazing they were able to find a room in a city they’ve never been in before. Reichen decides to offer Debra and Steve the room to share, as he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to have them out sleeping in the cold.

They talk about being a couple, and whether or not it would be a good idea to tell the other teams. Little do they know that others have already figured it out.

Reichen and Chip make it to the detour and decide to go for the “rescue”. They do a grand job of walking the fine line and zipping over the great divide. They head off for the Pit Stop.

They arrive….


Tian and Jaree

These model women, who aren’t, can’t seem to close the hatchback of the SUV they’ve been given. I find it quite odd as they are so pretty one would think that the hatch would close itself in an attempt to get somewhere with the duo. They have to call for a new car, one that will recognize their beauty, and after receiving it manage to get out of the parking lot.

They can’t manage to get to LAX though and have to stop for directions. After being given directions three times, they still have no idea how to get there. To me it sounded like they had to go up a couple streets and turn south. The more I think about it, the harder that is. I looked at a compass rose. South is down. None of the roads were going down. How the hell were they supposed to get there with those lame directions?

They do make it to the airport and get on the KLM flight putting them in Milan with the final group. Their luck holds as they then make the last shuttle bus too.

Getting to the detour minutes behind Debra and Steve wound up costing them valuable time as they had to wait for Debra to cross most of the bridge before they could even start. Tian caught up with Debra at the end of the bridge and actually helped her get off. I realize that in doing so she was really just helping herself, but she sounded sincere when she apologized to them for passing them to the zip line.

Then she begins yelling at Jaree. Jaree is a smoker boys and girls, and her lungs can’t make it. Tian has to literally pull her up the hill to get back to the chair lift. Jaree promises never to smoke another cigarette in her life. I’m fully expecting some shots of her at the Pit Stop lighting up after dinner.

They get a cab to the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


Millie and Chuck

Millie tells Chuck he needs to focus. This is new advice from her, usually she’s advising a cold shower. She then says they have to take this race “one thing at a time”. Another new bit as he’s used to hearing that they would take it “one decade at a time”

Millie informs us that if Chuck doesn’t propose marriage soon “our relationship as it is now will be over” Hmmm….

They make the Lufthansa flight and get tickets on the second charter bus to the detour, and choose to take the “rescue” path. They cross the bridge quickly and have no problems on the zip line so they head off together to the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


Jon and Al

Jon and Al… I’m sure they were the class clowns growing up. They seem to take everything lightly and enjoy themselves wherever they are. They inform us that being from New York helped them in the LA traffic and they have no problem getting to LAX and over to the Swiss Air ticket counter. They are smart enough to ask the agent which of the flights will land first and are happy to learn it’s Swiss Air. They purchase the tickets and one of them (another team I haven’t figured out yet… sorry) balances the TAR clue on his nose. It really is quite a talent. I don’t think I would have said that a week ago.

They get tickets for the 4 am charter bus and of course choose to do the “rescue” option for the detour. They take the bridge just like it was a highwire. You’d think they’d been in a circus.

They look for a VW to share with 23 other people, but can’t find one, so opt for a taxi to the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


Amanda and Chris

Ah, she’s so cute with that funky nose thing she’s got happening. Just angelic. Then she opens her mouth while driving to the airport. The sensors at TAR are workin’ hard for the money this season. They may be working so hard on Amanda alone that I wouldn’t be surprised if they let a few words slip on by. Every other word is the “F” word and I think for a second that someone changed the channel to the Jerry Springer Show.

They make the second flight out of LA and search for the shuttle bus tickets. I will give them props for being smart enough to not yank out the first set they came to which would have put them on the 4am shuttle. Instead they get tickets for the 2am bus.

Chris is afraid of heights, but chooses the “rescue” detour and just won’t look down while crossing the bridge.

They make it through the detour and have to hike for the next clue. At this point Amanda starts her whining and Chris calls her Flo. I have no idea how I will wind up feeling about this team, but he got points from me there.

Then he lost them as he continued to yell at her then got angry because he couldn’t enjoy the scenery, as he was too busy yelling. Honey, you made the choice to miss the scenery. Shut up.

They get a move on and hop a taxi to the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


Steve and Josh

Josh lives in LA, but I’m pretty sure that Kelly wouldn’t think he had “The Look”. Dad is confidant that Josh will get them to the airport. He’s right, and I’m pretty sure that these two forego any shuttles to the terminal and run the entire way to the Swiss Air counter to get their tickets. While at the counter Josh gets tickets for Steve and Dave too, but since Monica and Sheree were actually the next in line, they feel cheated. They are. Josh snagged the last of the tickets for flight one.

They find tickets on the 2am shuttle and when Monica and Sheree arrive he tells them where to get 4am shuttle bus tickets. He does this to help make amends, and to ensure that the two blondes with the fake tits (told you the sensors were too busy) don’t get tickets.

They go for the “rescue” and both Senior and Junior make it across the bridge like a couple of pros. They fly across the zip line without hesitation and book it to the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


Debra and Steve

While Steve drives the team to the airport Debra sits in the back and smiles. So far this trip is turning out to be great.

Then they take the long scenic route to the airport. Never a good idea in a race. Their long trip in puts them on the KLM flight out of LAX. They don’t hesitate to try and make up time when landing in Milan, and Debra manages to land on her face while still in the airport. She is ever the good sport and tells Steve that she wishes she could say someone tripped her. I wish that too, as I am liking this team. They are fun, and they are nice, not only to other teams, or people that they think may be able to get them ahead, but also to each other. I’ve been waiting for a married team like this.

I begin to worry.

They find the tickets for the shuttle bus and wind up on the 6am bus. Knowing that they will have hours to wait, they decide to check out local hotels. After finding out that it will cost them 50 Euros to get a room, Steve decides to think about it.

Thinking is usually a good thing. This time it cost them a room, as by the time they decided it would be worth the money, the rooms had been taken by other teams.

Luckily Reichen and Chip step up to offer to share the room, and Debra is pleased to be spending the night with three guys. Figures the trip was worth it now. The fact that Steve feels he let Debra down saddens him, and he is visibly upset in the hotel room. He adores his wife and she in turn adores him.

While riding the third bus to the detour Steve comments that they are on “The Sweeper Bus”, and that one of the teams on the bus will be leaving tonight. I realize he’s right, and I begin to send bad vibes toward Tian and Jaree… not nice of me I know, but come on, I want Mom and Dad to hang a while longer.

Debra has a lot of trouble crossing the bridge, but Steve is supportive all the way. Ian could learn a thing or two, and I don’t give a crap if Teri and Ian did make it far into the race.

They hike it to the chair lift and find a taxi rather quickly. They hop in and head off to the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


David and Jeff

Again, I don’t know which one is which, I tried to figure it out, but really I couldn’t, not this time.

The one in the back of the car is directing the driver out of the parking lot at Dodger Stadium. He directs his friend to a chain link fence decorated with Stop signs. He then gets his bearings and tells his partner to go straight and left. This leads them to another barred off section of the stadium.

It’s starting to get dark.

No, not really, but boy, they took a long time getting out.

Their tour of the Dodger Stadium Parking Lot put them behind many teams and they couldn’t get seats on the first two planes.

They wound up with tickets for the 6am shuttle bus after taking the train instead of a taxi to the Galleria.

They do not hesitate in their choice of Detour and head off to do the “rescue”. They are seemingly in good shape as they look for the next clue. Unfortunately looks can be deceiving, and they wander around the snowmobiles wondering why the man guarding them won’t let them take one.

After figuring it out, they find their way to the chair lifts and grab a taxi to the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


Steve and Dave

Dave tells Steve (yes, I can tell these two apart… now if Steve grows a moustache on this trip I may be in trouble, but for now things are looking good) to punch it out of the stadium parking lot. They seem to be having a hard time finding the airport but soon see a plane in the sky and decide to follow it. Bad idea in most circumstances, but it is obvious to Dave that this plane is in “Final firm for LAX” so obviously it will lead them to their destination

Steve and Dave are lucky enough to score tickets on the first flight out and then find tickets on the first shuttle bus to leave the next morning. They realize they owe a lot to Josh for getting the tickets, and I truly believe that they felt bad for Monica and Sheree. Not bad enough to say no thanks to the tickets, but bad just the same.

These two have a hard time hiking it up to the detour and even though they lead many teams by hours decide that they better take the “rescue” path for speed.

They make it across the bridge in good shape, but are getting tired. It takes them a while to get to the zip line, but once there have no fear, and zip right across.

They’ve been lucky so far. 1) They got a Plane to lead them to the airport 2) They made the first flight out 3) they made the first shuttle bus.

Their luck just ran out.

Dave’s knee “pops” while trying to hike to the next clue, and he cannot straighten it at all. They are both tired, out of breath, and ready to finish this leg.

Steve could do one of a few things at this point. He could “Flo out” and whine about his bad luck, he could “Ian out” and yell at Dave to suck it up, or he could be a friend and help his buddy out. He opts for choice number three and proceeds to make steps in the snow so his pal can have an easier time walking.

Making it to the chair lift must have been like finding heaven. They ride down, grab a cab and head to the Pit Stop.

They arrive…


Pit Stop: The Hotel Lajadira

Well, looky here, we have friends arriving about the same time.

What will they do? Will they push and shove? Please?

No, three teams hold hands and jump onto the mat together. This wins them all a trip to Hawaii, and I am still peeved about that.

I am still listing them 1st through 12th and have decided to list the top three teams in the order that Phil named them:

1) Steve and Josh
2) Chris and Amanda
3) Millie and Chuck
4) Monica and Sheree
5) Steve and Dave
6) Kelly and Jon
7) Jon and Al wearing Clown noses
8) Russell and Cindy showing absolutely no emotion
9) Reichen and Chip
10) David and Jeff
11) Tian and Jaree
12) Debbie and Steve

I truly enjoyed watching Debra and Steve for the short time we were able to do so. They are in love and as Steve pointed out when they were Philiminated, the most important thing to him is the fact that he gets to spend the rest of his life with Debra. Way to go both of you!

To contact the author of this recap email cali@fansofrealitytv.com

To Read the FORT interview with Debra and Steve, click HERE

[Google]

 

[cali]

Sorry about the length everyone. I really have a hard time with the first couple episodes as there are so many teams to cover.

[skywisej]

Great review Cali! I had the same trouble you did telling some of the teammates apart. Hopefully it'll get easier as time goes on!!

[SnowflakeGirl]

Thanks for the recap, Cali!

I've never seen TAR, and was so excited to see this series after all the things I'd heard about it from the FoRT. Can you believe, though, that yesterday (probably because I hadn't been on the FoRT for a few days or didn't take my gingko biloba) I completely forgot about the show's premiere?

Thanks to you, I can at least read the recap, and be prepared to watch it next week. I've also learned my lesson about staying away from the FoRT for too long.

[Zaius]

Great recap Cali!

In defense of Tian and Jaree, I really think their SUV was deffective. Phil himself said that if their vehicle breaks down or is deffective through no fault of their own, they'd be given a replacement. But you were probably joking about that and I missed it

[firegirl]

Hey great re-cap Cali, actually you cleared up a lot with the recap since I didn't tivo it! Good call and I can't wait till next week. It might be fun if the two guy friends and the two models made an alliance, then they could be lost together and hop the elimination finish line together!

[LG.]

Super recap, Cali. This was a great flashback to last season.

Steve could do one of a few things at this point. He could “Flo out” and whine about his bad luck, he could “Ian out” and yell at Dave to suck it up, or he could be a friend and help his buddy out. He opts for choice number three and proceeds to make steps in the snow so his pal can have an easier time walking.

Great kick-off for the new season.

[cali]

Yeah, Zaius, I know that Tian and Jaree probably wound up with a defective car through no fault of their own. I'm just poking fun

[Paulie]

As usual, an excellent job, Cali! Didn't seem long to me at all. It was over too soon.

Couple of my faves:

if it had been Amanda she would have said “We’re gonna F*****g prove to all these f*****s that we’re not f****n’ backwards f*****n’ bumpkins”
----
I’m fully expecting some shots of her at the Pit Stop lighting up after dinner.
----
Ian could learn a thing or two, and I don’t give a crap if Teri and Ian did make it far into the race. ()
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He directs his friend to a chain link fence decorated with Stop signs.
----
It’s starting to get dark ( My favorite line of the whole thing!)

And I agree. Giving everyone a Hawaii trip was weak!

Looking forward to next week. Thanks, Cali!

[Bill]

Cali, only you can make the Race even more fun than it is. Congrats on a fantastic recap.

This part had me

Ah, she’s so cute with that funky nose thing she’s got happening. Just angelic. Then she opens her mouth while driving to the airport.