I caught the last 1/2 hour of this. Did you catch the part at the end where his Dad said and what do they do for "real" jobs? WTH can't gay people do anything besides hair and decorate in 2005 even to the farmers?
I was finally able to watch the episode last night and it was the best one yet! A few thoughts:
I didn't care for the woman minister (Ellen?) I felt she was very defensive towards Ryan and he just wanted to learn. I also didn't *feel the love* with the scenes from the church- what they showed almost felt like she was being defensive there as well. I think this woman has a lot of anger.
I loved how he met with the dad and it finally hit home for him. I don't know why it took that- considering he lived with a gay man for a month- could he not see how *normal* he was? I liked the home visit as well and how Ryan saw his roommate as a brother, son, uncle, etc...
I was impressed with Ryan as well- he seemed to enjoy this experience and went into it with a willingness to learn- it was nice to see him laughing, having fun, soaking up the scenery. I was a little uncomfortable when he went home and was showing his family the photos on the computer and he realized 'where' he really got his views from. I was hoping that they would do a follow up where he sits down with his family and explains to them his new POV, but from the looks of it I think he is scared to do that.
I was quite angry watching the old man (in that God awful jacket) with the signs. I was even more upset seeing those little children holding up the hate signs as well. Unfortunately, it's children like those who are taught to hate early on that commit hate crimes. I think there should be a law as far as how old one can be to hold a sign like that. What is so unfortunate is that these hate mongers expend their energy into something that is so unproductive! If they would use that time and energy for something else, like say feeding the hungry, raising money for cancer research, building homes for the homeless - then they would be doing something worthwhile! I guess I have a hard time understanding - that in this day and age - some people still can't accept a different lifestyle than their own and have to hold up nasty signs!
Anyway- really liked the episode!
I thought this was the best episode by far. I think Ed and Ryan were both the perfect choice for the experiment. Ed handled it all very well, especially outside the bar after Ryan and his friend were so hypocritical. (Hubby is convinced Ryan's buddy is gay and hiding it). That could have gotten ugly, but Ed just calmly said "look, this is why I think that was wrong." I liked in the first fifteen minutes or so Ryan was talking to the camera and he said something along the lines of "I still think this...for now" which led me to believe he had an open mind, which he did. He did seem to put up the biggest "fight" against change so far, but it was such a deep rooted belief for him that he grew up with you had to expect that. I also feel he changed/learned the most, which really says something about him given where he started.
I thought the part with the PFLAG should have happened sooner, but I do think also it was almost like permission for Ryan to admit his views had changed. For him to hear from other straight people that it truly is okay for someone to be that way after hearing about it from gay people for three weeks seemed to make it "okay" for him. I wonder if he would have changed that dramatically if that conversation had happened sooner or if he would still have held on to his old beliefs so strongly that it wouldn't have made an impact.
I really liked the end when Ryan and Ed said goodbye and Ryan gave him the gift. Once Ed asked "what if I was in your Army unit" and Ryan struggled and said he would be proud to have Ed there, I knew that Ed had really gotten through to him as a person not just the "I'm the gay guy cast to offset you" role and that was the biggest change in Ryan.
Bravo on this episode in my book, I thought it was great!
Just Forting Around
I also felt this was the best episode yet. I think Ed was the perfect choice for this show, and I was particularly touched that he went to the trouble of converting his closet into a bedroom for Ryan.
I also enjoyed Ed's sense of humor, and thought his text message to Ryan was hysterical. What a great guy...it's no wonder he has so many friends. (One of his friends from the show has posted in the recap thread, and it was great to hear from him ). It was refreshing to see Ed's family, too, and how much they love him. His mom was a hoot...I loved it when she said, "he doesn't ask me about my sex life, and I don't ask about his."
I was truly touched by Ed's revelation about how he felt the first time he was at a gay beach and knew this was where he belonged (well, not the beach per se, but I think you all know what I mean ). Like I said in the recap, I have no idea what it must be like to know you are 'different' than most people you come into contact with. It must be quite a feeling to finally discover you are accepted for who you are.
Sam was certainly a bonus, and obviously has one of the most important qualities we as parents should have...unconditional love for our children.
shoes? who needs shoes??
Originally Posted by Marlena_M
i'm finally here! my dvr kept skipping the program because it is on a time that i'm not awake to tell it to override a higher priority program scheduled. (i know you can change the priority but i can't seem to get that to work)
ryan was pissing me off through most of the show .... such closed minded bull ... not to mention how his 'christianity' flies out the window when he starts arguing with the guys at the bar. what an ass.
and then him talking about choosing to apply certain parts of the bible to his life and ignoring others, i like to call that BUFFET THEOLOGY. sorry, but either you take it all or you leave it all. and i say that as a former minister's wife. i love how the mcc minister kept calling him out on things and it just went over his head.
the softball coach telling his coming out story, about praying everyday for his feelings to be taken away ..... i did that too. only when i finally accepted who i was, that's when i finally found happiness.
the scenery in the show was awesome ... being from michigan my whole life, i got to visit SF about 7 years ago and spent quite a bit of time in castro. it was the most awesome, loving, accepting city i'd ever been in. puts the midwest to shame .... if i could afford it, i'd move there in a heartbeat.
and i love pflag ... it made me cry seeing the dad talk about his daughter with such love and acceptance. his daughter is one blessed woman ...
shoes? who needs shoes??
ahhh yes, reverend phelps. did you know he and his sheep picketed matthew shepherd's funeral several years ago??? how freaking disrespectful is that? if you've never seen "the laramie project", you should.
Originally Posted by Sunnyone
as i mentioned above, i was married to a minister back in the day ... for 12 years. i would attend conventions with other ministers and their wives from all over the state. after i left him, came out, and attended my first gay pride event (michigan's isn't quite as flamboyant as SF!), i cried. i felt like i was finally HOME. i remember so well the feeling of "these are my people ... i BELONG here". it was very moving ...
Originally Posted by roseskid
Last edited by barefootdyke; 07-11-2005 at 08:37 PM.
This is Ed the gay roommate (why does that seem funny to me?),
Thank you all for watching the show and especially for taking the time to write your comments. I've read them all and I especially liked rosekid's synopsis. If you have any specific questions, I'd be happy to respond to them. I would like to mention that I think SF was the perfect city for the show and it is not, in any way, cliche nor stereotypical. SF is a city of tolerance that embraces all types of people, even straight guys from Michigan, and it's citizens are unafraid of being and acting just the way they are. That is a rare quality, in people and for cities. Ryan had a great time here. He met many people, both gay and straight, and by the end of his stay, that was no longer a concern to him. Again, thanks for watching.
shoes? who needs shoes??
hey ed!!! let me be the first to say
Originally Posted by Ed in SF
i agree 100%! when i was there in '98, i got to attend the pride celebration, and during the street party in castro, i sat down on the curb and just watched people go by. a really nice guy sat down next to me and we started chatting .... when i said how much i loved it there and how nice the people were, he said he was from iowa, visited there three years ago, loved it so much, he never went home. there's not too many cities you can say that about!
Last edited by barefootdyke; 07-11-2005 at 10:13 PM.
Just Forting Around
Hey Ed, let me be the second to say
By far, this particular 30 Days episode was my favorite, and in large part, it is directly because of you. As your friend, Erik said, you were the perfect choice. I especially loved your sense of humor, and enjoyed it when you teased Ryan at Gay Church, and your text message.
I loved your family, and thought your mother was wonderful. Eric says your mom and Ryan's mom had a good phone conversation...I wish they had shown that.
How did they find you? Did you contact them, and then they chose you out of a group of potentials, or did someone recommend you? Are you glad you did the show? Are you being hounded for autographs now?
For Your Entertainment
Hey, Ed, let me be #3 to say
I'm curious about how you were chosen for the show as well. Also, have you kept in touch with Ryan since the show? Any chance you might be going out to his neck of the woods sometime?
Oh, and a friend wants me to ask if you're single...
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